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Dal @ Was: Thursday and Sunday featured wondrous Hail Mary’s, brain-shattering upsets, fingernail-biting excitement, win-streak-extending blow-outs, a clearly inferior team beating the Giants in overtime and some other things. If you want more of that this evening, boy/girl, did you ever come to the wrong place! Quite frankly, I question your judgement. The Slurs are 5-1 at home because they get a lot of support from their obviously racist fan base. It’s called math-look it up. That being said, if the Slurs can contain the running game that would mean that a certain washed-up, turnover-prone, in-over-his-head, doesn’t-know-what-he’s-doing, never-will-be-a-starter-again, stares-at-his-first-option, win-less-at-this-point, will-fumble-at-some-point, dump-pass-loving Matt Cassell will have to be a difference-maker. [snorts]
AP’s “More NFC East Action Than You Can Shake A Stick At!” Open Thread
If the NFC East has a sub 500 winner I wonder if we’ll get the wall of punditry screaming how unfair it is and how we must nullify the winner and overhaul the playoffs
All the stuff they were saying in 2010 when Seattle did it.
I don’t know, Seattle winning that game might make them a bit less vocal this time around.
But I want a 5-11 division champion to win four straight games so the NFL Champion would have a losing record.
Who/What is this?
I was pissed that I had to work the night ‘murica’s took the MNF stage. I just checked the score, never been so glad to be stuck at work before.
Do miss snarking with youse guys though, just too hard over the phone. Enjoy the mediocrity!
This game could only fucking DREAM of being mediocre
Cheers brah.
I actually haven’t said “FUCK DALLAS” once yet, unless you count this comment!
WHY ARENT YOU MOSTLY LIKE MINDED PEOPLE TOTALLY INFURIATED BY THE INFINITE FAILURE OF GEORGE LUCAS TO CREATE ANYTHING WATCHABLE WITHOUT SEVENTEEN LAYERS OF EDITING TO GET HIM THROUGH HIS INCONCEIVABLE IDIOCIES SUCH AS LUKE WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE A ROBOT HEAD, HAN SOLO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SOME KIND OF LIZARD AND C-3PO WAS SUPPOSED TO SOUND LIKE A LONG ISLAND USED CAR SALESMAN IN ADDITION TO THE MAN HAVING NOTHING TO DO WITH THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK AND WHOSE ONLY CONTRIBUTION TO RETURN OF THE JEDI WAS THE FUCKING EWOKS BJKEHFBVJHSEFBVEFIVSDFVWECIEDHCV
I try to get righteously indignant about it, but I keep getting edited out in post.
I DONT BELIEVE YOU
I’M STILL WAITING FOR AMERICAN GRAFITTI EPISODE III
KEEP WAITING DICKHEAD
You’re tough but fair, Sill.
BECAUSE OF STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE TOTALLY DESTROYING THE FRANCHISE I MEAN THE TEMPORAL WAR THE BORG THE KLINGONS FACE WAS THERE ANYTHING THEY DIDNT SCREW UP, I MEAN THEY COULD HAVE HAD THE EARTH-ROMULAN WAR BUT KNOW, LETS SPEND A WHOLE SEASON WHERE WE’RE PISSED BECAUSE SOME FISH AND ANIMALS DESTROYED FLORIDA LIKE THAT’S A BAD THING
SEE I CAN DO IT TOO!!!!
Is it possible someone could win the NFC East with a 6-10 record? Or will there have to be a tie to get a 6-win NFC East champ?
Yeah, I just went through and figured it out myself. As it turns out, depending on the outcome of tonight’s game, it could be impossible for the NFC East champ to finish better than 8-8.
It’s theoretically possible to have a 4 way tie at 7-9 with all the division games split.
It can happen, and it will happen.
I’m hungry.
I’m also thirsty.
[thinks]
TO THE BAR!
Come to Buddy’s!
Order something fried. Wash it down with something that is beer.
Google patented a Smartwatch with blood drawing ability. KAMUIS FOR EVERYONE
http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/622/707/8d7.gif
I actually nabbed myself an Omate Rise on Indiegogo today.
I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I’d rather see than be one.
THIS GAME IS THE PURPLE COW
So what Gruden likes about the Redskins offense is their inexperience?
All the customers in my bar are saying the ending of Philadelphia was more uplifting than this drivel!
“Man on Fire”….criminally under rated film right?
Not an interception, but they aren’t going to let Cassel throw it ever, so close enough to post this :
Darren McFumble
Wait, it’s halftime and the game is tied at 3-3?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!
Bet both coaches are in the lockerroom saying, “Seriously, does one of us really have to win the game?
“Yes”
-Donovan McNabb
It’s kind of a miracle it’s this high scoring. Neither team was anywhere close to another scoring drive.
I’m losing my patience with you people.
Of all the billionaires doing all of the evil shit they do only one has ruined everything simple, wondrous and magical that children of the 70s hold dear.
The true proprietor of The Factory Of Sadness:
Who you callin’ YOU PEOPLE?
DAS RAYCESS, yo
I’m with you, Sill. That dude shit on my childhood. I can almost tolerate the Star Wars prequel abominations, but shitting all over Indy really did it for me.
The only good thing I can say that came out of the prequels was that Lucas finally gave up and sold off the franchise to someone who won’t use my childhood as toilet paper.
Is this game as bad as the radio makes it sound?
Even Jim Gray and Mike Holmgren couldn’t talk positively about it during the halftime break.
It’s worse.
It has to be worse.
Just got done giving my evening class’s final.
Looking through the exams, I’m concerned. I re-wrote a question about the Monroe Doctrine (“The Monroe Doctrine…”), and because I ran out of answer options, I made option D: “Was named after James Monroe, the most badass President of all time, because he could squat 400 lbs.” I might’ve been drunk when I wrote that.
One of my students actually selected this answer as correct. He’s a kid who couldn’t afford to miss points being funny.
Nobody fails classes any more, right?
The guy who threatened to kill me will fail, yes.
Along with 1/4 of the rest of my students.
First guy to turn in his test barely beat random chance on the multiple-choice section: he got 14 right out of 50.
E. How to shoot the J and be nicknamed The Pearl, bitches.
And I am out of beer!!!
And my opiate pickings are thin…
Is that someones DARE homework?
I have OCD…I am like the Anal Retentive Chef….
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/anal-retentive-chef/n9695
Those aren’t opiates, they’re cannabinoids.
Yeah….we’ll go with that…
At least some of them are…
To be clear, its hashish with five 80 mg of opiates from Amsterdam
New rule: If a division champion is under .500, they are replaced by either #5 or #6 team in the NCAA Playoffs Rankings (#5 and #6 have a play-in game).
Didn’t do well in math?
I remember reading the hypothetical “What if the worst NFL team played the best college team?” argument, and they came to the conclusion that the college team would get the shit kicked out of them almost every time.
Pretty sure this is true, as long as you delete “almost”
Fucking Trivial night ended with five questions, worth five points each, consisting of 9 letter scramble, made into words….
Basically the bartender told me that I was winning too many trivial nights and they knew I was dyslexic. Fucking bullshit…I should sue under the Americans with Disability Act!!!
Resident Evils I MEAN LAWYERS?
I went from 19 points in the lead to coming in forth…
BULLSHIT!!!
How would being dyslexic help in Scrabble. It makes you see the words right or something?
No they picked something they knew I would fail at because the fucking ignorant hipsters were pissed that they kept failing!
I really regret the decision to leave Xenoblade Chronicles X unplayed tonight.
Well that 30 minutes of 3-3 football wasn’t a total waste of time. See you bitches later, it’s ‘Fargo’ time.
If I were in Detroit and had the option of ‘Faygo’ time I would probably stick with this game.
In the red is your 2015 Philadelphia Eagles.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/2c8f468e46bcf915be261f9867daec66/tumblr_ntljdltMb41ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
Okay, I can stay up till 9:30.
I’m bailing for the MST3K stream on YouTube.
SEND HARDY BACK IN HE NEEDS TO BE INJURED WORSE
So these are the games we swore we’d miss in July
July really is such a terrible fucking month
/shudders uncontrollably
The only month worse than July is August.
There is at least pre-season methadone and training camp reports. But not much better.
On the plus side, 11 minutes to ‘Fargo’
Nah.
Too fucked up over here.
“Greg Hardy’s hurt? That’s terrible!” said no one.
A jar of love indeed
BROKEN HEARTS WANT SOME HEALIN
I MEAN FUCKING BATTLEFRONT JUST EXPOSED WHAT A SHITFUCK IDIOT LUCAS IS I MEAN ALL THOSE POSSIBLE BACKSTORIES LEADING INTO STAR WARS (IT IS NOT AND WILL NEVER BE “FUCKING A FUCKING NEW FUCKING HOPE”) AND HE TOOK US TO FUCKING NABOO AND FUCKING CLONEFUCKWORLD AND FUCKING GEONOSIS AND FUCKING VOLCANOLAND INSTEAD HIS BILLIONS SHOULD BE CONFISCATED TO END THE SLAVERY HE SEEMS TO LOVE SO FUCKING MUCH BJSDHFBVJHSDJHSDEDIHCVEDIHGVI
This is why I play Forza
Somebody reboot Sill; he’s stuck.
So you’re saying I should buy Battle front for my kids?
If you’ve never shown them the prequels…
My 8 yr old and I played the beta, he loved it. I read the reviews and decided against it. He’s not invested in the story line, just likes blowing shit up.
That’ll work!
My friends want me to get it, but I’m stalling because I just hated the beta. Its gameplay was poor.
I don’t play, I just watch.
I’m a PS4 voyeur.
So, are you excited for the new one?!
Yes.
The first Star Trek reboot was JJ Abrams’ Star Wars audition reel.
That was good enough to make me want to see what he’s done with the source material.
This Giants fan thinks that the NFC East blows from top to bottom. Good night.
The Greg Hardy boys trek to Charm City in The Disappearing White Suit
I for one would like to see the Cowboys stop playing 16 yards deep on 3rd and 14.
If this wasn’t a Monday night, I would have a bottle of Burgundy open and some French cheese.
In my house it’s MD 20/20 and Velveeta
For Bawlmer, that’s some classy shit right there.
Efes Pils and Halloumi for this non-Greek non-drinker!
Coming from everywhere? When did Peter North start working for the NFL?
O/U was 43.5
HAHAHAH
That was a typo, they MEANT 43.5 total yards of offense.
Or 43.5 penalties.
Again, these fucking offenses.
Just got home from work! Aaaaaaand I probably should have stayed there, quite honestly, looking at the score so far.
Woof.
Your latest young fiction work: Greg Hardy Boys and The Missing Witness
That is good.
Wait, it’s 3-0? I literally forgot that someone had scored. My recollection of this game is just a blur of incompetence.
This is a kickass soundtrack, and way more fun to watch than this game so far, but damn. A good 80% of these plays would be flagged in today’s NFL, mostly illegal hits, but some excessive celebration too.
“Gee Greg, it’s great to have you board. I have a new puppy I thought you’d like to stomp on.”
Fuck that piece of shit.
Great Divide Hibernation and Milky Way Midnights. Oh, Saint Nicholas was very good to us.
Trent Williams DID NOTHING ON THAT SCREEN. Goddammit Gruden.
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