![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
Dal @ Was: Thursday and Sunday featured wondrous Hail Mary’s, brain-shattering upsets, fingernail-biting excitement, win-streak-extending blow-outs, a clearly inferior team beating the Giants in overtime and some other things. If you want more of that this evening, boy/girl, did you ever come to the wrong place! Quite frankly, I question your judgement. The Slurs are 5-1 at home because they get a lot of support from their obviously racist fan base. It’s called math-look it up. That being said, if the Slurs can contain the running game that would mean that a certain washed-up, turnover-prone, in-over-his-head, doesn’t-know-what-he’s-doing, never-will-be-a-starter-again, stares-at-his-first-option, win-less-at-this-point, will-fumble-at-some-point, dump-pass-loving Matt Cassell will have to be a difference-maker. [snorts]
AP’s “More NFC East Action Than You Can Shake A Stick At!” Open Thread
I need a ruling: is it BLEERGH or BEERGH? I keep seeing both. We must be unified in our mythology!
I prefer with the L, it seems classier
Same.
It’s always been BEERGH in the posts:
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/2015/10/07/a-sacrifice-must-be-made/
Duly noted. BEERGH it is!
I like when there’s a block in the back so fucking obvious that I notice, even when I’m not really paying much attention.
It helps that the blockee jumps with his hand in the air like he’s in West Side Story.
Ah, so THAT’s what the acolyte meant when he prophesized that BEERGH was going to “make it rain” tonight.
Keep the change, you filthy animal
Each drive more puntier than the last!
Oh, you said puntier…. thought you were saying a BMW tagline.
BUT WHICH ONE WILL BE THE PUNTIEST??
My cat keeps asking me how Cutler and the Bears did this weekend. I don’t have the heart to tell her.
She knows from your failure to make eye contact
Oh my, I’d rather watch Paul Bernardo’s home movies than this.
I cannot believe that I have to put my hopes in JERRAHS team for the complete clusterfuck to unfold.
The complete clusterfuck has really low odds, and even if they lose this one, the clusterfuck can still occur if they win out, and a bunch of other stuff happens.
Oh my dear doktor, I wish for the Iggles to be on top and I am going to need all the help I can get.
THIS JUST IN-
DOK ZYMM HAS LOST IT!
Safety time!
MAXIMUM NFC EAST
I was ambivalent about this game, until one of the asshole Skins fan I know via social media posted something about welcoming the Ravens to mediocrity.
This is a perfect representation of the pure assholeishness of their fanbase.
Fuck that guy, and fuck the Skins.
Wow.
More chutzpah than the Inglourious Basterds right there.
My dead Pappy and the DFO folks (led by Dok, of course) are the only Redacteds fans I’ve ever met that didn’t make me want to run into traffic.
That said, this rule applies to about 95% of the general public, so it’s probably just me.
Nah, aside from Dok and my dead friend Brian, every other Skins fan I know is a gaping asshole full of snail spunk.
Youtube embed test:
I give up. Fuck youtube.
I feel like that McFadden fumbles stat should read “first fumble since 5:47 PM today….”
This is gonna be a loooooong night, kiddies
Glad I already pilled up an hour ago.
Last of the ashcatcher goodness here.
My timing exactly! BRO!!!
The DERP-O-METER is going to break in about seven more seconds.
This game is getting off to a suspiciously advantageous start…I don’t trust it when things go well, especially this early….
Ah, that’s better.
Beergh : An artist’s rendering of his reaction to the game thus far
Sometimes, when you stare into the BLEERGH, the BLEERGH stares back into you…..
BLEERGH IS MOST PLEASED
Just landed at DIA. Who drew the short straw to pick me up at the airport?
Be right there!
Hey, I don’t think Sill’s coming.
HAIL BLEERGH
It’ll make me really happy if the Cowboys somehow destroy their chances of something via an excessive celebration penalty.
Beckham Style!
LET THE DUMBASS PENALTYS BEGIN!
HAIL BLEERGH
Well, looks like It’s gonna be an Elmer and the Boy’s kinda night.
Slowest. Fumble. Ever.
So my Horrible Person Hope is that the Redskins win the division, host the Seahawks, and FedEx Field eats Russel Wilson. Who’s with me?
I’m reasonably convinced that this will happen, though it’s always a tossup who the field takes as a sacrifice.
Seriously, shouldn’t there be standards for field surfaces, like there are in top-flight soccer? Might be something a union should bring up.
Thafuq is a union?
Arena Football League team?
#blessed
Who’s that getting chewed up by FedEx Field? That’s right, Russell. YOU ARE. It already got RGIII, it’s YOUR turn.
—whispered menacingly by a replicant Macklemore.
Don;t get JustStopDude started again!!!
So, I was in my twenties the last time Washington was atop the NFC East in December….. no wonder I hate December.
I’m going to my myself a nice soothing cup of valerian tea.
There was a project on kickstarter for smart beer mugs. One of the options was to hook the mugs up to a sports feed and have the mugs change to your team colors whenever your team scored.
via Sill
If you’ve never watched a single RLM video, watch this.
They’re never as good as when they’re taking Lucas behind the woodshed.
Since Sie Doktor had not seen it before…
…or, perhaps, she had seen it, and her brain suppressed the memories.
I just think you and Sill has seen EVERYTHING
Hardly.
Just a sixteen-year vendetta against George Lucas for ruining everything I held dear as a child.
Well played and FAIR POINT. Is he intentionally a dick, or just kind of clueless, ya think?
He is an evil without parallel.
AOTC is beyond dickishness or cluelessness.
Embed this:
Hey somebody who can actually fucking sing for a change
Wow, they didn’t even bother to apply the green spray paint between the hashes for this game.
The State Farm radio ads are somehow geometrically worse than their TV counterparts.
Marionette theatre? I see MNF lost their budget betting on Brady yesterday.
There will be puppetry tonight? HOT!
“Have you been up all night eating cheese?”
“I think I’m blind…!”
I still stand by my theory that Snyder will change the name in exchange for a large, publicly funded renovation to move the whatever-dumb-name-Synder-picks-insteads back to RFK. I will be okay with the name Redtails. That will not be the name, it will be something far stupider, and somehow still racist, like “Wizards”
You must not have seen the movie “Red Tails.”
If you had you would not be OK with this.
What movie is this?
George Lucas’ take on the Tuskegee Airmen.
It makes Attack Of The Clones look like The Phantom Menace.
Seriously, it’s so unbelievably bad it defies description.
It is so bad I immediately blocked out watching it as soon as it was over. It was insulting, inaccurate, poorly written, and all around shitty.
I met the man that the character who spends the film arguing with Bryan Cranston (Why, Bryan? WHY) was based on while I was a resident at the Philly VA.
I can still hear him spinning in his grave.
Wow, that’s actually pretty damn depressing. Way to fuck up awesome historical events, Lucas.
Look at it this way: Michael Bay Presents: Michael Bay’s Alternate History Take on Pearl Harbor is somehow better than Redtails.
It’s true.
It’s more accurate as well.
I’m still holding out hope for The Washington What The Fucks.
WHOO DALLAS YEAH
Who’s the Cowboys’ QB or have they decided to snap the ball directly to the running back and field two fullbacks?
WING-T FTW
Who dares mock the RAW SEXY POWER of teh CasselVANIA??
I face a dilemma. My oldest kid did NAWT make the school musical (likely because there IS a dance element, and there is absolutely no rhythm section on either end of the gene pool). Naturally, she very dramatically wants to sleep in and not have to face everybody who got in tomorrow. This seems like bad parenting (and more than a little silly, but I realize I may just be being a boy here), but on the other hand…the younger two are at their mom’s, so I could sleep in as well.
Suppose I really should ask myself – WWAnCTRD?
/What Would ArtsnCrafty Tony Romo Do?
Make her a Crownie for breakfast.
“I re-wrote the play without any dancing — or talent, not unlike the Cowboys with me and Dez –, so you just enjoy that Mormon morality play, OK.”
Psyched myself up for this game by watching The Thin Red Line to soul-crush proof myself.
Hmmm. A “clearly inferior team” beat the Giants, huh? You’re not taking that loss hard at all, are ya, Scotchy?
Greetings all. I am bravely facing this game with the intention to refrain to alcohol and go to bed at halftime, no matter what’s going on in the game. I didn’t deplete my will-power much during the rest of the day, so there’s a chance I might actually do both those things.
Abandon all hope and never go without alcohol Ye who enter here.
You’re going to watch a Cowboys game without alcohol? I salute you, madam.
/Dan Snyder sues Doktor by suggesting going to bed at halftime is slanderous
Sounds like you’re going to need a whole sixer of Eli’s juice boxes.
Twenty minutes later:
Also, tee hee BRAVE-ly
hooray for puns
Hurry up, NFL! I’m watching Monday Night Raw and I’m losing the will to live at an alarming rate!
Of all the things that were a thing when I was a child that would still be a thing 30+ years later…never would have guessed that one.
hey guys
sup
yo
Yo.
Keep this link nearby WCS. You might be using it often.
Jon Gruden actually said the words “I love length” with a straight face.
If we’re honest with ourselves, who doesn’t?
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