![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
Min @ Ari: Everything points to this game going the Cards way, doesn’t it? Some fantasy advice I came across on one site stated, “START ALL THE CARDINALS YOU CAN!”. If this was a game of Clue As Foreign Films I’d say, “Arizona/Brando in the empty apartment with a stick of butter”. Maria Schneider, uh, the Vikes look very vulnerable right now. QB Bridgewater can’t throw a TD without an accompanying intercept later on. This year his ratio is 8/8-career-wise he’s 20/20 (ironing?). His counterpart is sporting a “hey national media, come take a look-see” 29/9. Football Outsiders’ take on Teddy cuts right through the lutefisk though-The offensive line is so bad that teams don’t need to rush more than three or four defenders to get quick pressure on the quarterback. I’m sure it’ll get better though. Whoops. That’s a no. The Vikes bread and butter defenders Barr, Joseph and Smith are all out. It’s all on you AP.
Your Thursday Nighter Open Thread
Peterson straight up abusing the defense.
I want to murder whoever it is who made me aware of Phil Simms always saying “we talked about this…”
Now I can’t unhear it.
Just be thankful you made it this far.
Although I’m honestly not sure how you did.
Good news for his kids!
Tac-kle?
Hope…. rising…..?
A wee bit.
Seriously? AP run, PA, AP run, PA….
I had a bottle of coffee porter last night, well I had a glass that I took two sips out of, then I threw the shit out. Damn it was NASTY.
Porter is already smoky/bitter enough. Add coffee to that and yeah, that would be a little rough.
Maybe a coffee drinker would like it?
I may play a bartender on here, but I do like beer. What kind?
x 865 CC Coffee Stout – brewed by Duclaw Brewing in Maryland.
I always thought it was DuClavy because of how the last part of the logos are.
They are really hit and miss for me, I’ve had outstanding beer from them and multiple drain pours too.
DO NOT GET SHREDDED BY MATT ASIATA!
WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AT WAR WITH ASIATA
Didnt fox just commemorate that?
OK, so Teddy Smallhands is not very good, their D isn’t all that good. Everyone is down on them, how the fuck are they 8-4?
Easy schedule, crap division?
D is good when healthy (earlier in the season).
This game should have been color rushed.
That’s racist!
And as always, I hope someone hits AP right square in his nuts.
Weatherspoon, if anyone is gonna do it.
You don’t want to switch things up occasionally?
Honey badger does whatever the fuck he wants.
If I lived near the Stone brewery, I’d be dead within a month.
Embed address must end in .jpg or .gif
Nothing else will post.
Duly noted.
Firefox sucks dead whale dick – and fuck Shady he’s a pissy little bitch baby
Yay! Field Goal!!!
Being originally from a place where Viking fans are everywhere, fuck RAGAR the greedy prick.
Vikings at Cardinals, it’s like choosing between syphilis and Charlie Sheen!
Always choose syphilis.
Syphilis is curable.
But Sheen is forever!
Let’s just admit no one knows anything when it comes to catches, fumbles, or offsides.
Cardinals need to take 7 delay of game calls here. They can’t do shit inside the 20.
Phew. 2 things happen and ARI wins:
1. ARI no turnovers
2. ARI holds AP in check
This Tostito’s commercial where the guy in the 12th Man jersey doesn’t know Brian’s name is such a correct fanbase reference.
The NFL Xbone app is such trash.
Look, everyone, JustStopDude is just Moose under a different handle!
JustStopDudeMas!
Wait…I’m not the only one into fireplay?!?
I KNEW I WASN’T A FREAK!!!!
I wonder how much the networks would flip a shit if this was the NFC Championship game.
Followed by Colts/Bengals for the AFC title.
“Veldheer” means “farmer” in Nazi.
Dude is sowing pancakeenshwaezein
“Trump” means “Trump” in Nazi
When Zimmer folds his arms and turns sideways, he looks like Boyle from Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
What Is A Catch Vol. MCMLXXVIII
I’ll wait for the Peter Jackson adaptation.
The first couple were good, but when he split MCLIV in four different movies, I quit.
Bridgewater throws so many awful passes his receivers should be called bugcatchers.
Wormburners.
Thought you’d have been familiar with that word…
Buddy is wayyyy more familiar with bugcatchers
Ah. Of course.
Six plays without a bomb? What’s the fucking hold up?!
You know who is responsible for ARI passing on AP in the draft?
http://infectedtube.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/bush-mccain.jpg
Pretty sure Fells is 600 lbs.
For Blax
I’v posted this before, but wearing the right shoes goes a long way toward helping with proper spinal alignment.
These Birkenstocks have significantly reduced my back pain by wearing them pretty much non-stop:
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51vFnb6GMzL._UL1500_.jpg
They weigh next to nothing and get your heel and leg better aligned with the base of your spine.
I highly encourage all of you to get a pair or three.
Hey Everyone, Lady Commander started her own business making reasonably priced custom jewelry! Perfect for the hol-er days and whatnot. Check it out if you’re so inclined: http://www.charmedbychance.com/
If instead of “massage school,” it was “studying programming,” I would have lost it completely.
Does she make belly-piercing jewelry that won’t make skin turn colors or cause infections?
Holy fuck I hate John McCain. You know in It’s a Wonderful Life how the angel shows what the world would be like if the main guy had died.
I like to image a world where John McCain died in one of those many planes he crashed. Or he could have been raped to death in ‘Nam. Or just been killed by a drunk driver. Pretty much anything, really, just kill that man. Seriously, ISIS, kill John McCain.
Tell Buddy how you really feel over some shooters.
Dude should have never even been flying planes. His daddy got him through the academy. He even boasts he was the lowest scoring midshipmen in his class.
That picture up top is the weirdest Cortland Finnegan roleplay I have ever seen.
Quick aside: The League is finally over, and I have to say, that was the WORST finale to a show I think I’ve ever seen. They didn’t even appear to be trying any more, and since this is the network that canceled Terriers, I cannot forgive them.
On the plus side for FX, You’re The Worst was excellent last night.
Dexter finale was HantaAIDS X EbolaAIDS:
I gave up on Dexter about 2 and a half seasons before that, when they decided incest lust would be a good plot point.
I couldn’t get into Dexter (short version: hated the books and I hate the actor who played Dexter), so I never watched that finale. I have heard all bad things, though, so I think my choice was the correct one.
Dexter was widely regarded as good thru Season 4.
I thought Season 5 was very good but my opinion on that is not popular.
The rest I watched just because I needed to see how it ended.
Season 6 was the Phantom Menace, Season 8 was AOTC and Season 7 was Revenge Of The Sith.
They never gave Terriers a chance? Or did the Terrier dance?
FX fucked Terriers over in every way possible. Poor marketing, no support, and basically trying to bury it in every way they could. The execs had no idea what the show was, and decided to just end it. I loved that show.
Last minute fantasy reminder: if you are starting anybody in this game in your FLEX spot, move them to the regular positional spot (i.e. RB or WR) so you can have the flex open for later in the week if you need it.
Oh yeah! Gotta save my three-win season!
I never realized the logic to that, goddammit.
A player whose name I learned via Sporcle quizzes: Neil Lomax, from doing top passers of the 80s and such.
He’s to the 80’s what Archie Manning was to the 70’s.
Gentlemen and Dok,
Horrible day today and it dawned on me that it was Thursday, there was football, an evening in the commentist party and a big bag of weed at home.
Thank you, not for the weed, I got that using my own devices.
All out until tomorrow.
Even the scrapings are gone.
I used to hot knife the oil from my pipe when i was in my early twenties. Felt dirty doing it, but man what a body stone.
Why did you feel dirty?
Resin is the gift that keeps on giving!
Because I was finishing my degree while living in their condo while the wintered in Phoenix. Not klassie, but dem knives had to get done.
I have a doctorate in Neuroscience and I own my own company.
If I needs a high, I’s gonna get a high.
Couldn’t agree more. I have a pug and don’t drive a dodge stratus, so we are similiar…
You all do marijuana?
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE!
http://i.imgur.com/HpT0FcC.jpg
I figure five bags will get me through this game…
Can sciatica just happen? Everything was fine until I tried to go to bed last night. The back troll was just like, “BWAHAHAHA SUCK ON THIS, TWATFACE! NO SLEEP FOR YOU!”
The back troll knows no propriety.
One minute you’re dancing the Jitterbug with a hot dame and the next thing you know you’re doing the Involuntary Alligator all by yourself.
SPLENDID
Can’t any one of the zillion drugs advertised on TV help you out?
He’s gonna need the opiate colon unstopper.
Hey all.
So how does JB do Fox and the NFL Network?
NFL says, FOX does.
That’s what hundreds of millions of dollars in rights fees and being the largest global media network buys you.
Top Three QB’s of the Seventies-
1. Bradshaw
2. Pisarcik
3. Stabler
I’m at the Xmas choral concert (TWO kids in it this year), no teevee box and my back hurts like a muthafucka. Got up from the damned pew to stand at the back 5 minutes too late, I’m afraid.
Fuck my week. Go AZ, but DONT COVER!!
Got woken up this morning by one of the building management people telling me that this was private property.
Didn’t believe me at first. I can’t really get mad about it as I was woken up underneath some random person’s car.
Methinks I may have to tone down the holiday celebrations a wee bit…
THIS GUY IN THE BANNER IMAGE, I CALL HIM PARROT TOP
hey guys
sup
i ran over a coyote today
yo
no coyotes around here
They’re cute, but they’re stupid.
http://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/418822302520733696/s2K3eQt3_400x400.jpeg
I’ve had this incredibly fun searing pain right above my ass. It radiates down to my hamstrings. The only time it doesn’t really hurt is when I’m standing or sitting for a little while. Laying down in any position hurts. Any idea what this is?
Sciatica.
Any pain, particularly burning pain, that radiates down from the lower back area to the legs is almost some sort of sciatic nerve compression.
Do you have any spinal/disc problems you are aware of?
/almost always
Not until now.
What can I do about it? Stretching doesn’t really work, and my super happy fun stuff is out tomorrow..
Sill right. Certainly a disc, could even have started in the neck and domiinoed downwards.
Helpful quackery hint – orthopaedic spine specialists are often pretty good about the v-profen as long as you do the PT they recommend (which is also helpful).
WELCOME to the fiery hell of getting old, my imaginary friend!
Yup…once the back starts hurting…its all down hill.
For me, it started at three with spina bifida. A couple of spinal fusions later, I ended up with a hell of an opiate addiction. Good times!
Spina bifida is in the Andromeda galaxy compared to routine sciatic compression.
Sorry to hear of your condition but let’s not frighten people with descriptions of unlike conditions.
Stationary cycling, elliptical training, etc.
Maximum motion, minimum impact.
If you strengthen the muscles around the caudal spine you can alleviate some of the pain.
No short term fix apart from the super happy fun stuff.
Don’t sit on your wallet in your back pocket. I only noticed it when sitting on hard wood (hehe) chairs, but every thing helps.
This is both incredibly simple and incredibly important.
NEVER SIT ON YOUR WALLET
Rut roh…
I started carrying my old North Face backpack around with me like I’m in college. I know WCS works from home, the PT dude told me lots of helpful ergonomic stuff that I never would have thought about to keep my back and neck in proper alignment and stay away from bad habits subconsciously.
You definitely want to mix in the PT and long-term along with the happy stuff. It does really help. I had a bulging disc above where I had my cervical fusion, and after 4 weeks of pretty intense PT, am lots better. As much as I like teh opiates, they aren’t a panacea.
My favorite Beavis and Butthead video:
I’d embed that, but even Beavis and Butthead can’t salvage that audio rape. Absolutely one of the worst songs in existence.
Welp, I’m headed to go have a fuckin’ MRI. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME DON’T-MOVE-FOR-40-MINUTES-INSIDE-THIS-PLASTIC-COFFIN-BALL?!
Did Bernard Pollard hit your knee?
I’m ready to get an STI.
They are pretty sweet:
http://cdn2.3dtuning.com/info/Subaru%20WRX%20STI%202015%20Sedan/factory/4.jpg
Recommended investment
JJ Watt broke his hand in practice yesterday, which means he’s going to get to play with one of those monster club hands that ought to be illegal, but aren’t. Now, considering they play the Patriots this weekend, I ask only one thing from Captain “I’m Not Making This About Me:”
BEAT BRADY’S HEAD INTO MUSH WITH YOUR CLUB HAND.
If you do that, JJ, I will probably not hate you anywhere near as much as I do now. I might even let up on the outright rage you instill in me every time I see one of your shitty commercials, or hear your name mentioned during any NFL broadcast. Just knock Brady’s brains around until he sounds like Gronk on a slow day and we’re cool.
On the bright side, he can’t chop wood anymore!
He’ll still #CHOPWOOD because there are #NOEXCUSES you have to #WANTIT #NOOFFDAYS #BLESSED
#RISEANDGRINDYOURHANDOFF
Hmmm, uhh, [thinks for a spell] buuuut, ooof. After considerable thought I’m all in on the Brady injury but the last guy I’d want to see do the deed would be JJ “The Ultimate Self-Aggrandizer” Watt.
I’m thinking it will end up being one of the biggest win/win scenarios of the season… Brady goes on IR, Watt gets fined and suspended for blatant hits to the head on the league’s star whiny titty baby QB, and those dangerous as fuck cast/clubs are finally banned from the league. The only downside is giving Watt more of a platform for his weird brand of “This Is Not About Me (Have I Told You It’s About Me Yet?)” ego-boosting, but the NFL is determined to give him that anyway.
Such an action would move him to the top of the RTD Enemies Redemption List with a bullet.
Lacey Chabert is knocking it out of the park in The Tree That Saved Christmas.
/no nude scenes yet though
Christmas = Lindsay Lohan’s career
I learned last Friday that my roommate watches these, and loves them. She had in fact seen One Star Xmas, or whatever the one with the fiancee swindling Cowboy was, earlier that day. I think I need to set fire to my TV receivers…
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