![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
Min @ Ari: Everything points to this game going the Cards way, doesn’t it? Some fantasy advice I came across on one site stated, “START ALL THE CARDINALS YOU CAN!”. If this was a game of Clue As Foreign Films I’d say, “Arizona/Brando in the empty apartment with a stick of butter”. Maria Schneider, uh, the Vikes look very vulnerable right now. QB Bridgewater can’t throw a TD without an accompanying intercept later on. This year his ratio is 8/8-career-wise he’s 20/20 (ironing?). His counterpart is sporting a “hey national media, come take a look-see” 29/9. Football Outsiders’ take on Teddy cuts right through the lutefisk though-The offensive line is so bad that teams don’t need to rush more than three or four defenders to get quick pressure on the quarterback. I’m sure it’ll get better though. Whoops. That’s a no. The Vikes bread and butter defenders Barr, Joseph and Smith are all out. It’s all on you AP.
Your Thursday Nighter Open Thread
Norv Turner loves screens and unintentionally infuriating Laserface.
Zona should tackle like that vs Seattle
Kay Jewelers;
“Anal: she’ll pretty much have to at these prices.”
This guy . . .
Living the fucking dream.
Kyle Rudolph has never read a book in his life. True fact.
Another Auburn grad in the NFL?
Sounds like a Golden Domer.
Because they’re totes about teh academics, see. Just like U*NC claimed they were.
“What’s a book?”
– Dexter Manley
Peterson is going to get a shit tonne of yards tonight 150 I believe.
I now feel validated in sitting the Arizona defence.
Kyle Rudolph is the Viking’s most Christmassy player.
Holy shit, the KFC dinners wrapped as gifts had me laughing so hard beer shot out my nose.
If my neighbor got a car for Christmas, I would have taken a gigantic shit on it by New Years Eve.
Nah…just get a HUGE order of McDonald’s french fries. Put the bag on top of the car.
Come back a few hours later and take in the bird shit and scratches…
you misspelled “in”
“It’s cool. I leased this Lexus.”
CLASS GUYS DON’T SQUANDER THE OPPORTUNITY TO COMPLETE A DEGREE AT THE UNIVERSITY OF PITTSBURGH WITH A PAID PROMOTIONAL APPEARANCE AT THE “UNIVERSITY OF PHOENIX”
Only slightly more respected than Arizona State University.
I’m sorry…but being so proud of your University of Phoneix online degree that you physically go to a graduation ceremony is just fucking weird to me.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
HOW CAN LARRY FITZGERALD BE CLASSY AND STILL WEAR BRAIDS? SOMEONE GET PK!
Total THUG!…ish..
“He’s one of the good ones.”
-PK, before voting against putting Fitz in the HOF
They’re called twists, bro.
MINNESOTA VS ARIZONA: THE WAR BETWEEN THE STATES
Oh shit. Palmer’s arm just Manninged on that pass.
Bring on, Stanton!
Larry Fitz just does not miss
It’s like a video game. You watch the ball to him and, if it’s on target, he’s pulling it down.
Except in his choice of graduating institutions.
I understand that lots of good QBs come from small schools Romo etc. But how the fuck did Bridgewater become a top prospect. I saw him play Rutgers in the old Big East and just barely beat him. Hint, it wasn’t the fault of the defense.
I honestly dont see him as top tier at all
His mother isn’t a prostitute?
Joe Flacco is intrigued by your ideas and wishes to subscribe to your newsletter.
Aww, we love you too, Moose.
I’m just the messenger.
Where’s the fire?
Ord.
To piggyback my request for regional announcers:
Patrick Peterson was a threat at PR as a rookie. He’s an elite corner now for a top-5 defense on a team with the number 1 offense. His job is to catch the ball and, on the rare occasion he has space, run directly to the sideline. He is not a PR threat. He’s the conservative call to receive the kick and get Palmer on the field.
But that’s not an attractive storyline so NFLN won’t sell it. Buy Zales.
Mercedes-Benz is the single most obnoxious automaker on earth.
No way. Ford truck commercials.
Studebaker Dictator
Morgan,
Or at least their fans.
/I’m looking at you Hamster.
Not a fan of their F1 team.
I wonder how Darnell Dockett’s pet alligator is doing.
Glamour pet.
What’s with Campbell’s helmet? Do all linemen have that like thing on the front?
…and Mike Zimmerman appears to be displeased.
The head-on cam is the best way to watch returns.
and subsequently forget them.
JJ Watt broke his left hand.
Reports say he was masturbating furiously while watching a lumberjack competition.
Or broke it forcing a pizza slice up to his mouth
He was quite selflessly removing comments discussing how great he is from the Houston Texans (who?) message boards, and replacing them with “It’s a team sport, everyone” instead.
I would have gutted that kid like a fish.
If that John Brown had been at Harper’s Ferry…yeah, he’d have been killed too.
Not only is he racking up points, John Brown will fuck your girlfriend whether you start him in fantasy or not!
HARPERSFERRYDOWN
BROWNDOWN!!
“I LOVE John Brown’s body!”
-his girlfriend
And my favorite brew ever, yeah it tastes like clove and banana, so what?
There is a bar in Portsmouth, VA that has that on tap.
My four and a half years stationed in that shithole city, I drank that beer at least four times a week.
Was invited to a pizza party for lunch today. It was my first time having Papa Johns. It was my last time having Papa Johns. Shit is awful.
I seriously don’t get how the US is able to support so many shitty pizza chains.
College kids have a lot to do with that.
We’ve had multiple comments regarding weed in this thread alone, and you can’t figure out shitty pizza chains stay in business?
Have fun with that choice later tonight…
Had a buddy justify ordering them by saying “But you know what you are getting every time” I should fucking hope I know what I am getting from anywhere I fucking order.
Nothing worse than when I order General Tso’s chicken from Hunan Garden and some asshole shows up with humus and chips.
That’s HAMAS and chips.
Duh…
http://www.politicalgarbagechute.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/CARSON_PP_SHOOTING.jpg
John Brown is not the fastest guy on the Cardinals; JJ Nelson is.
But who gets to choose the first fifteen ass plays?
Michael Sam
What am I drinking tonight? Boom:
http://res.cloudinary.com/ratebeer/image/upload/w_250,c_limit/beer_85.jpg
Nothing like a big bold black to really get things started, eh?
EHHHHHHHH???
Aw, come on! Really? Nothing?
Fuck all y’all except litre.
Gotta admire Tivo for hanging on this long.
Too bad that white-man-shaming ad is going to kill their sales.
As a marketing-advertising weasel, I have to say that the ad is funny, but why would you straight up insult your audience and imply they are one-pump chumps?
Have you slept with a middle age, white guy with two kids and an emasculating wife?
They are…
Why, no.
Do go on…
Shit half the time they just want to suck your dick and then have you hold them for 30 minutes as they cry about how much they love their wife and kids.
The entire time I am just thinking about the $50 he owes me. Fucking smack doesn’t grow on trees.
True. The poppy is a flower.
Another weasel? Hot damn!
So wife and I pulled the trigger – Disney world trip for the Fozz spawn. Four days in the magic kingdom, how much weed do I need?
ALL OF IT
You misspelled “mushrooms.”
Acid’s really the only way to experience the full effect of The Happiest Place on Earth.
Definitely gonna have to move a street value of a couple mill to afford that trip.
Do they still have Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. My Father says he loved that ride when he was stoned off his ass. He also took pills before space mountain.
If you are going with another family, I would recommend inviting someone’s single sister or brother who would be willing to watch the kids 3 of the 4 nights. Even if you have to pay for that person.
You need the sexy or adult time.
That’s right JEEM. Norv Turner’s a genius for giving AP the ball.
http://i.imgur.com/dcOBuVk.gif?noredirect
AP scoring like it ain’t no thang!
There go that bad man!
Go here:
http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/places-you-can-no-longer-go-the-navigation-trees
And read about how the old-growth forests were “home to condors, grizzly bears, and salmon.”
I for one mourn the loss of our now-extinct Forest Salmon, for they must have been majestic creatures, indeed.
Lo, my people and I often travel to the forests, where we hunt the wily tree-salmon. You must take extra care in the stalking of the tree-salmon, for they scamper with great speed and ejaculate with unmatched ferocity! I am Lothar, of the Hill People!
I don’t think you have any idea how ferociously I ejaculate, sir.
[insert Adrian Petersen abuse joke here]
Um…Adrian Petersen is so abusive…um…
Sean Penn thinks he needs to go to couples counseling!
Dear god I fucking suck at this…
Janay Rice would like to apologize for her role in your being so bad at that.
Saw your post last night, glad to hear all is well
I made a great switch joke but it got eaten by the Newer Comments Monster.
Adrian Peterson wants to abuse the Cardinals’ defense like a red-feathered step-child
Way to be ineffective, Cardinals D.
So who’s your Mount Rushmore of great players that did terrible things.
Irving, John Brent, Hernandez, Lincoln.
(Abe, for freeing the slaves)
THE BEN IS ON THERE
Rae Carruth (murder and crippled his child), Randall Woodfield (serial killer), Ray Lewis (double murder), and Dan Snyder (dead hookers).
That’s my NFL Mount Rushmore of the worst of the worse NFL people committing crimes.
I thought Arizona’s defense was supposed to be good. Boooooooo baby beater down.
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