It’s Here! It’s Here! Your Very First DFO Playoff Game Open Thread

A cynic (myself) might say that this game doesn’t look very good but we’re in “PLAYOFF MODE” now. LOSER GOES HOME…JUST LIKE THE WINNER! Okay, I’m sure you know what I mean because we all type English here. We’ve endured some weird crap over the course of the season and now it’s win or you’re gone time.

KC @ HOU: Does anyone remember the 1-5 Chiefs? They were without not only hope but also J.C. and were looking at the likes of Spencer “Who?” Ware and Charcandrick “Huh?” West to right the ship running game-wise. And umm, WOW! they did it. That actually happened. The even more surprising occurrence was the transformation of QB Smith from a “Spaghetti-Armed Game Manager” into a “Spaghetti-Armed Slight Difference-Maker”! Wonders will simply not cease to exist no matter how much I want them to… This has to be HC Reid’s best coaching job, don’t you think? Speaking of thinking, methinks the only way for the Texans to get out of this with a win is for their two most dominant players to go nuts, right? If DE Watt collapses his side of the line on an on-going basis and WR Hopkins catches 12+ balls things have a chance of going Houston’s way. If either becomes a non-factor the odds of a W drop to very close to nil. DE Clowney was held out of practice, was in on Thursday and was out again on Friday. He and his willingness to play hard on every down are listed as questionable.

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Recovery Whiskey

Devon Hester did that in the SB… KC is doomed

King Hippo

well, fuck Bill O’Brien anyway

hippofant

It legitimately looked like the Texans only had 10 players on coverage there. Where the hell were all the black shirts?

...

Worst kickoff coverage ever?

Sill Bimmons

EVAH

Gratliff

Dem Texans tho

King Hippo

turns out white flag = apt

Sill Bimmons

welp

ballsofsteelandfury

Ha ha ha ha!

fleshwound_NPG

oh houston

Recovery Whiskey

LOL

Doktor Zymm

Welp, that was a short game.

King Hippo

so…they have their fans waving the white flag?

WCS

I want KC to win just to hear WIP callers say the Eagles should rehire Andy.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Few television commercials cause me to actively boycott a product. This Dr. Pepper campaign is one of them.

ballsofsteelandfury

You don’t like pedo-vendor?

...

What? A spokesman that feels like the type that murders and dismembers women in his basement doesn’t make a product more appealing?

ballsofsteelandfury

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Bortleback

Managed to find a stream, thankfully – I paid for gamepass, but all playoff games are blacked out courtesy of Sky Sports being douchebags. Hopefully the stream holds out.

Sill Bimmons

#InstrumentalAnthems4Lyfe

Sill Bimmons

FLAG IS TOO SMAWL NAWT MURKAN ENOGH

WCS

JJ better get out there and show those troops how it’s really done.

Doktor Zymm

“To honor America, we have some whorish looking woman in fake leather pants singing the anthem”

Doktor Zymm

Shit, forgot to put “singing” in extra quotes

ballsofsteelandfury

Don’t forget the free child labor in the background.

ballsofsteelandfury

Is that doesn’t signify América, I don’t know what does.

...

She definitely has that Texas look down pat.

King Hippo

only in TX would a look like that be considered appealing

Sill Bimmons

hey guys

Spur

Yo

Spur

Can someone get Tori a comb?

Recovery Whiskey

Bed head is best head

ThePirateSloth

Fuck it, if I have to sit thru Gruden spewing dumb shit over the air, I might as well go meet my friend at the bar so I may have a plethora of alcohol to choose from. You people have fun!

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fleshwound_NPG

“Whaddya wanna get if ya win the big powerball lottery?”

“AT&T Lily”

...

That’s a hell of a prize.

Sill Bimmons

THIS

Doktor Zymm

Greasy Chinese food has arrived, drink is poured, TV is on the correct station….LET’S GET THIS BIZZNIZ STARTED!

Doktor Zymm

Will be ordering from this place again…best shrimp toast I’ve had in Chicago so far.

nomonkeyfun

Mother Fucker. I’m listening to an interview with JJ Watt. The reporter asked him about the old lady who wants to meet him and other assorted fan based “distractions”, as far as the old school is concerned. That shithead said, basically you can’t playthe game forever and have to enjoy opportunities you while you’re a player.

But a a QB can’t spend 5 secs taking a picture of himself the first time he starts a pro football game.

What a fucking piece of shit.

entropy

He is without doubt my least favorite player of the last 15 years. He’s a pompous, cocky asshole who makes everything about him, then tells everyone he believes it’s a team sport, not all about him. I’d like him to get gored by a runaway bull during the pre-game introductions one night, then stomped by a local high school marching band trying to flee the scene.

Spur
...

Is there a rule saying at least one-third of all photos of J.J. Watt must have him appearing to roar?

Spur

Go Texans!….I guess.

...

I really wish the YOOOSTON game was being called by Al Michaels.

Senor Weaselo

You could have had Yooston sacking the Yooston quarterback.

Spur
ballsofsteelandfury

M4? Sure you don’t want the M3?

Spur

It’s an M2. It’s in my price range.

Spur

Afternoon people.

litre_cola

So if LA gets only 2 teams, where do the Rams go?
Aleppo?
Wichita?
Toronto?
Portland?

...

Cleveland.

litre_cola

Well that kinda is like Aleppo.

Spur

Las Vegas

litre_cola

I could get behind that.

Senor Weaselo

Pyongyang?

ThePirateSloth

Christ no, not Portland. We’d have hipsters wearing LA Rams Dickerson jerseys.

Recovery Whiskey

Oregon would have to decide if it remained loyal to the Seahawks, when Portland hates Seattle in almost any other context. It would be fun to see

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Latvia. Has LA in there, and I hear they’re doing better than St. Louis.

Senor Weaselo

Latveria. All other teams and cities will feel the wrath of Doom!

Doktor Zymm

Mexico City

King Hippo

FIRE ISLAND

ThePirateSloth

Obligatory autotune video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exOxUAntx8I

Someone wanna embed that?

nomonkeyfun

Wow the last time the Chiefs won a playoff game Montana and Marcus Allen were on the team.

fleshwound_NPG

…and Super Nintendo was up to date.

Gratliff

Speaking of Super Nintendo, almost time for FFIV in AGDQ16.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The fact that Kirk Cousins’ kneeldown didn’t make the Come On, Man! year-end countdown makes the whole segment into a complete farce.

Senor Weaselo

It wasn’t?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Gratliff

Fuck it. I want Big Red to get a Super Bowl win.

litre_cola

Me too. Me too. He was the best we had Grat, his time was just up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I was on the wrong thread; or as you’d put it; the right thread.

http://57.media.tumblr.com/2a03f506508b6f403eb1a8ab34466020/tumblr_nzmx5aY1G01sqf5tdo1_400.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
nomonkeyfun

Let’s go tinyhands, so we can see the residents of the town of Philadelphia throw batteries at each other.

Doktor Zymm

Yes! This is also my reason for rooting KC!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
entropy

Is it wrong of me to want to see that city eat itself?

nomonkeyfun

Of course not. It is always hilarious to see the town of Philadelphia eat itself.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

At least they are flexible.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m not making the connection. How does a KC victory = Philly going crazy?

ballsofsteelandfury

Never mind. I’m an idiot.

I just associate BBQ with him so much that I forgot.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s awesome!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sportswriters described Clowney’s outburst as “very athletic”.

entropy

Also, “well-spoken.”

Senor Weaselo

Clowney allegedly stormed out in a huff after learning he was inactive. Cue sportswriters calling him a “clowneyfraud” in 3…2…

/I’m so sorry

WCS


So, this is where the gang bang is?

Gratliff

No horse left in the race, so rooting for good derpage and horrific injury schadenfreude.

ballsofsteelandfury

Hoyer Country vs Tiny Hands! Wild Card Weekend excitement!

entropy

I am yawning with excitement!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Easy there.”

– Joe Flacco

entropy

“Yawn. Don’t yawn. It’s all the same to the universe.”

–Catler.

jjfozz

As a Ravens fan, I root against the Steelers – cause if they lose and Carrot Top can play next week, the rumblings you hear from Cincy won’t be people who just ate Skyline Chili.

I’m going to be at a la familia get together today, but I’ll be in bourble half an hour after we make landfall.

nomonkeyfun

I admire your restraint sir. I would be in bourble while at la famiglia.

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