A cynic (myself) might say that this game doesn’t look very good but we’re in “PLAYOFF MODE” now. LOSER GOES HOME…JUST LIKE THE WINNER! Okay, I’m sure you know what I mean because we all type English here. We’ve endured some weird crap over the course of the season and now it’s win or you’re gone time.
KC @ HOU: Does anyone remember the 1-5 Chiefs? They were without not only hope but also J.C. and were looking at the likes of Spencer “Who?” Ware and Charcandrick “Huh?” West to right the ship running game-wise. And umm, WOW! they did it. That actually happened. The even more surprising occurrence was the transformation of QB Smith from a “Spaghetti-Armed Game Manager” into a “Spaghetti-Armed Slight Difference-Maker”! Wonders will simply not cease to exist no matter how much I want them to… This has to be HC Reid’s best coaching job, don’t you think? Speaking of thinking, methinks the only way for the Texans to get out of this with a win is for their two most dominant players to go nuts, right? If DE Watt collapses his side of the line on an on-going basis and WR Hopkins catches 12+ balls things have a chance of going Houston’s way. If either becomes a non-factor the odds of a W drop to very close to nil. DE Clowney was held out of practice, was in on Thursday and was out again on Friday. He and his willingness to play hard on every down are listed as questionable.
Who gives a shit about Big Ben’s glove choices?
The prosecution
IF THE GLOVE DON’T FIT YOU MUST ACQUIT!
They said the same thing about OJ but you know what??
CSI technicians, probably.
certainly not any police or prosecuting attorneys.
Indiana is supposed to get hammered with snow tonight.
It’s been raining all day and it’s 40 degrees outside. Fucking weatherman I chopped all that wood for NOTHING!
– J J Watt
Did you and every other denizen of the state rush to the store to stock up on milk and bread?
Chopped all that wood…. ARE YOU JJ WATT?!
I wish I was getting hammered with Snow. Either Jon or MakeIt would be fine.
AJ McCarron looks like an extra on a CW vampire show.
Was that a reference to my thing a while back? I’m honored.
FLY COUGHLIN FLY!
http://57.media.tumblr.com/41730155f0d65913fd10863a47ef70e3/tumblr_nzj624yZTs1s2wio8o1_500.gif
http://scontent.cdninstagram.com/hphotos-xfa1/t51.2885-15/e15/11055944_353121334883313_1580850897_n.jpg
I want to go there!
Yea that’s pretty much the wheelhouse itself.
http://www.tmz.com/2016/01/08/ben-roethlisberger-big-ben-warning-rape-spoof/
BIG BEN ALARM!
Big Ben looked like Grimace with that purple suit on.
No, son. Nothing can stop the Grimace.
So, JJ Watt is up -13 at the half.
Ben Roethlisberger striding down a tiled hallway with purpose?
Hide yo kids, hide yo wife.
It is either the beard or THE BEN’S jaw grew 1000x in a week.
Lots of packages get misdelivered during the holidays, so it’s possible.
I think I should be drinking right now, you guys.
Give me some Powerball numbers (5 + 1 Powerball) and I promise to share the winnings.
99
Big Ben does not clean up well. He is not an attractive man.
And thus began the legend of Brandon Weeden, Super Bowl LEGEND
What of I told yoi, the afc south is really that terrible
Isn’t it “Queen of the Nile” rather than jewel?
I’m listening…
http://cdn.moviestillsdb.com/sm/3c01c00553863fdab5774ca1f01c1112/the-jewel-of-the-nile.jpg
http://images.moviepostershop.com/the-jewel-of-the-nile-movie-poster-1985-1020486472.jpg
That doesn’t look terrible at all!
I think I just sprained my eyes from rolling them so hard at Berman’s nickname for Knile Davis.
Punt it!
After all that, it’s only 13-0.
Wild Card Excitement WOOOOO!
Andy Reid is an idiot.
Why would you fair catch that? If your offense is planning to just kneel on the ball, why take the chance of a muff?
People do crazy things for muff.
What’s a muff?
–Everyone born after 1985
Welp. Good thing I have a plethora of alcohol to choose from.
Plethora!
Three Amigos reference? DRINK
Well, now Donks fans definitely cheer for the Yinzers. Not an easy matchup, but I don’t like playing the Chefs nor do I like gifting Belicheat McCarron.
Jesus Christ, Bill, I WAS KIDDING
http://56.media.tumblr.com/e659a71ee96876a0beb2ad8e76f1ca89/tumblr_nxnv2ihVLE1qgtfwko1_500.jpg
Kneel down for Houston?
Houston should just punt.
Time for the Hoyer to make it 5 turnovers on the half.
Fumble on the kneeldown?
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lf3dzdkO3U1qfwgzbo1_500.gif
Still enough time to throw a 4th pick!
Hoyer has a chance to be an OK QB but he’s in over his head today. KC is on a ridiculous roll as far as forcing turnovers is concerned.
Why are thé Chiefs running the clock? They could get another interception!
Score should be 34-0 by now.
Ah, Andy Reid…
YOU GUYS. WE POSTED LOTS OF LILY AND SHE APPEARED ON OUR TV
Weird, maybe.
/scrambles to print out every picture and hang on his walls
/waits by the front door
Lily is in my lap right now.
/Lily is my cat.
http://i.imgur.com/CM4nJc4.gif
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/112009/poster-1257946416_banana_man.gif
Wasn’t it just KC’s last offensive series Gruden was praising Houst— oh, there’s the praise for Watt again. Jesus fuck, Jon, THEY ARE GETTING DEMOLISHED,
“Gosh, Betty, do you always have to be so rough?”
http://56.media.tumblr.com/09ed022950a2d40a91b3a65dd338fcca/tumblr_ny4l18LSuJ1qgtfwko1_500.jpg
Using Double J’s jet, Romo could be in Houston in 30 minutes. The Cowboys will want JJ Watt for two games next season.
http://i.imgur.com/KiJEGDU.jpg
This is what happens when you let a college team into the playoffs. College of Texas University is getting reamed out there.
Who gave this cocksucker Marcus Allen’s number?
Nicole Simpson.
Too soon?
Is he that legendary a Chief?
He spent the majority of his career stomping on their balls.
They’re the Chiefs.
Yeah.
He stomped on their balls as a Raider.
JJ losing 2 yards a play as QB is a better offense than what they have. I say go for it.
Well, there’s a metaphor for this game.
DOO-PY PANTS!
DOO-PY PANTS!
DOO-PY PANTS!
goddamn it Yooooouston, if he’s not the answer, you askin’ the wrong muthafuckin question!!!
GET THAT MAN AN OAKLAND RAIDERS JERSEY
ARM PUNT
JJ’s going to rip Hoyer’s leg off, isn’t he?
I love how someone below predicted only two more plays before Hoyer committed another turnover and it was TOO HIGH!
http://images.bwbx.io/cms/2013-12-09/1209_mcmillan_630x420.jpg
That was all of us.
Bill OBrien showing some great innovation by putting Hoyer in as a punter.
HOYERCEPTION 3: THE SEARCH FOR DOOP