It’s Here! It’s Here! Your Very First DFO Playoff Game Open Thread

A cynic (myself) might say that this game doesn’t look very good but we’re in “PLAYOFF MODE” now. LOSER GOES HOME…JUST LIKE THE WINNER! Okay, I’m sure you know what I mean because we all type English here. We’ve endured some weird crap over the course of the season and now it’s win or you’re gone time.

KC @ HOU: Does anyone remember the 1-5 Chiefs? They were without not only hope but also J.C. and were looking at the likes of Spencer “Who?” Ware and Charcandrick “Huh?” West to right the ship running game-wise. And umm, WOW! they did it. That actually happened. The even more surprising occurrence was the transformation of QB Smith from a “Spaghetti-Armed Game Manager” into a “Spaghetti-Armed Slight Difference-Maker”! Wonders will simply not cease to exist no matter how much I want them to… This has to be HC Reid’s best coaching job, don’t you think? Speaking of thinking, methinks the only way for the Texans to get out of this with a win is for their two most dominant players to go nuts, right? If DE Watt collapses his side of the line on an on-going basis and WR Hopkins catches 12+ balls things have a chance of going Houston’s way. If either becomes a non-factor the odds of a W drop to very close to nil. DE Clowney was held out of practice, was in on Thursday and was out again on Friday. He and his willingness to play hard on every down are listed as questionable.

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Spur

Who gives a shit about Big Ben’s glove choices?

Bortleback

The prosecution

Spanky Datass

IF THE GLOVE DON’T FIT YOU MUST ACQUIT!

Bloody Lethal

They said the same thing about OJ but you know what??

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

CSI technicians, probably.

entropy

certainly not any police or prosecuting attorneys.

Brocky

Indiana is supposed to get hammered with snow tonight.

It’s been raining all day and it’s 40 degrees outside. Fucking weatherman I chopped all that wood for NOTHING!

ballsofsteelandfury

– J J Watt

WCS

Did you and every other denizen of the state rush to the store to stock up on milk and bread?

entropy

Chopped all that wood…. ARE YOU JJ WATT?!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wish I was getting hammered with Snow. Either Jon or MakeIt would be fine.

entropy

AJ McCarron looks like an extra on a CW vampire show.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Was that a reference to my thing a while back? I’m honored.

Spur

I want to go there!

Bloody Lethal

Yea that’s pretty much the wheelhouse itself.

John Difool

Big Ben looked like Grimace with that purple suit on.

entropy

No, son. Nothing can stop the Grimace.

Doktor Zymm

So, JJ Watt is up -13 at the half.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ben Roethlisberger striding down a tiled hallway with purpose?

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife.

fleshwound_NPG

It is either the beard or THE BEN’S jaw grew 1000x in a week.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Lots of packages get misdelivered during the holidays, so it’s possible.

...

I think I should be drinking right now, you guys.

ThePirateSloth

Give me some Powerball numbers (5 + 1 Powerball) and I promise to share the winnings.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

99

Doktor Zymm

Big Ben does not clean up well. He is not an attractive man.

Spur

And thus began the legend of Brandon Weeden, Super Bowl LEGEND

Brocky

What of I told yoi, the afc south is really that terrible

Doktor Zymm

Isn’t it “Queen of the Nile” rather than jewel?

WCS

I’m listening…

Doktor Zymm

That doesn’t look terrible at all!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think I just sprained my eyes from rolling them so hard at Berman’s nickname for Knile Davis.

Bloody Lethal

Punt it!

ballsofsteelandfury

After all that, it’s only 13-0.

Wild Card Excitement WOOOOO!

Spur

Andy Reid is an idiot.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Why would you fair catch that? If your offense is planning to just kneel on the ball, why take the chance of a muff?

ballsofsteelandfury

People do crazy things for muff.

Kungjitsu

What’s a muff?

–Everyone born after 1985

ThePirateSloth

Welp. Good thing I have a plethora of alcohol to choose from.

Doktor Zymm

Plethora!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Three Amigos reference? DRINK

King Hippo

Well, now Donks fans definitely cheer for the Yinzers. Not an easy matchup, but I don’t like playing the Chefs nor do I like gifting Belicheat McCarron.

entropy

Jesus Christ, Bill, I WAS KIDDING

entropy

Kneel down for Houston?

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Houston should just punt.

Spur

Time for the Hoyer to make it 5 turnovers on the half.

Senor Weaselo

Fumble on the kneeldown?

Gratliff

Still enough time to throw a 4th pick!

ballsofsteelandfury

Why are thé Chiefs running the clock? They could get another interception!

fleshwound_NPG

Score should be 34-0 by now.

Ah, Andy Reid…

...

YOU GUYS. WE POSTED LOTS OF LILY AND SHE APPEARED ON OUR TV

Spur

Weird, maybe.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

/scrambles to print out every picture and hang on his walls
/waits by the front door

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Lily is in my lap right now.

/Lily is my cat.

fleshwound_NPG
entropy

Wasn’t it just KC’s last offensive series Gruden was praising Houst— oh, there’s the praise for Watt again. Jesus fuck, Jon, THEY ARE GETTING DEMOLISHED,

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spur

Using Double J’s jet, Romo could be in Houston in 30 minutes. The Cowboys will want JJ Watt for two games next season.

fleshwound_NPG
Doktor Zymm

This is what happens when you let a college team into the playoffs. College of Texas University is getting reamed out there.

Kungjitsu

Who gave this cocksucker Marcus Allen’s number?

ballsofsteelandfury

Nicole Simpson.

Too soon?

Sill Bimmons

Is he that legendary a Chief?

He spent the majority of his career stomping on their balls.

Kungjitsu

They’re the Chiefs.

Sill Bimmons

Yeah.

He stomped on their balls as a Raider.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

JJ losing 2 yards a play as QB is a better offense than what they have. I say go for it.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Well, there’s a metaphor for this game.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

DOO-PY PANTS!
DOO-PY PANTS!
DOO-PY PANTS!

King Hippo

goddamn it Yooooouston, if he’s not the answer, you askin’ the wrong muthafuckin question!!!

Gratliff

GET THAT MAN AN OAKLAND RAIDERS JERSEY

Spur

ARM PUNT

WCS

JJ’s going to rip Hoyer’s leg off, isn’t he?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I love how someone below predicted only two more plays before Hoyer committed another turnover and it was TOO HIGH!

Spur

That was all of us.

tundrajim

Bill OBrien showing some great innovation by putting Hoyer in as a punter.

Senor Weaselo

HOYERCEPTION 3: THE SEARCH FOR DOOP

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