Your “I Wish Coughlin Was Coaching One Of These Teams” Wild Card Game Open Thread

csb/ When I was at university I would go back home for holidays, spring break and the summer and sling milk for my dad so that I could have spending money. Pere had the expectation that when I was finished schooling I would join him in the business. One morning during Xmas break I was on my way to make a delivery at a grocery store and the announcer on the radio said, “Congratulations folks, today [insert hometown] is the coldest place in Canada!” Shortly thereafter I decided that the cow liquid business was not for me…

Sea @ Min: TAKE THE UNDER! The Weather Network tells me that by game time it’ll be 1 degree but will feel like -11. This would be a good spot for Peyton because he’s accustomed to not having any feelings in his fingers. But this is the NFL and we can’t have nice things. Sigh. Pundits (that have completely forgotten that Minny has been a dome team for 32 of the last 34 years) think that this will give the Vikes an advantage. Coping with the weather? No. Given these D’s I wouldn’t think that this was going to be a high-scoring game under any circumstance. Seattle did blow the Vikes balls off in wk. 13 but the former was cracking on all 24 cylinders and the latter was missing a couple of safeties, LB Barr and DT Joseph. I give Minny a puncher’s chance here-they’ve got to win the turnover and special teams games. That said, I’m making Seahawks Tyler Lockett my game MVP. Now, START YOUR TYPING FINGERS!

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King Hippo

too bad the Viking horn done broke ,, smh

Wakezilla

So, we’re totally going to find out in the offseason the Vikings were jamming the radio signal, right?

Recovery Whiskey

Welp

ThePirateSloth

God. Dammit.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

CHARMTIPCEPTION!

Doktor Zymm

That’s what I like to see!

Spur

Communication issues or not, this is atrocious execution by Seattle’s offense.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Oh, St. Bernardus Abt 12 is overpriced… and still worth every penny.

stinkbomb

seconded.

ArmedandHammered

I love that beer, have several bombers in the fridge. My son is well trained and gives them to me for Christmas and birthdays.

Spanky Datass

I saw this yesterday at the booze barn and passed it by. Next time I will buy!

fleshwound_NPG

Andy Reid and Lovie Smith are fondling themselves right now over Petey’s timeout management.

ThePirateSloth

Did someone fly Andy Reid to call plays for the Seahawks?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I went with something different

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Kungjitsu

Did the Seahawks forget how the playclock works?

Romonobyl

It’s true, you can’t freeze time.

Horatio Cornblower

+1.

-11 with the wind chill.

entropy

Spoken like someone who has never taken a fuck ton of acid.

Wakezilla

Most telegraphed 3rd and 1 play ever. . .

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Sharrif Floyd: Good at football

...

Beer run complete! The damned liquor store clerk upsold me so I walked out with more than I had planned.

I have an Avery Imperial Stout for now, a bomber of Revolution’s Bean Gene for later (really loved the blueberry Blue Gene from last year), and a bomber of Half Acre’s Imperial Stout, which I didn’t know even existed.

I’m going to have quite a winter stock of dark beers.

bourb0nblues

I’ve enjoyed most things that Half Acre has done. Sounds like a good haul!

litre_cola

Pardon my term ignorance, how much in a bomber?

...

22 ounces. It’s a good size for a boozy beer because one will get you to a nice place without getting you trashed.

ThePirateSloth

I tried to suggest Anderson Valley Bourbon Barrell Stout, but my dumb fingers hit the back button.

bourb0nblues

Please, no more close shots of Zimmer’s face.

John Difool

Might want to put on a welding mask, just in case his face reaches fusion.

ThePirateSloth

My liver is going to kill me today

Dunstan

Well, then, start boozing heavily and kill it in self-defense

entropy

Get rid of it, it’s clearly holding you back

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, after yesterday I’m struggling through my fizzy wine.

Redshirt

Beer will shut him up.

Spur

Great coverage by the rookie!

fleshwound_NPG

Hey! A DB that knows to turn around!

bourb0nblues

Nice coverage Vikes!

bourb0nblues

But not on 3rd down, sadly.

entropy

YouTube TV is up in the dining room (who am I kidding, that’s “Drinking Annex 1”), and I am playing some REM to start. What should be next?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Begin the Begin….or the whole Life’s Rich Pageant disc if that’s an option.

Romonobyl

Keep going until the girls from the B-52s show up, then bail.

Horatio Cornblower

My son just now: “This is a pretty boring game.”

/leaping one-handed catch

“I’ll just shut up now.”

The Maestro

Your kid seems pretty cool, actually.

Horatio Cornblower

he’s alright.

King Hippo

I just had a though – is the shirtless guy in the stands Randy from TPB??

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

You see that Mike Wallace, that’s a catch.

fleshwound_NPG

[ODB Jr. nods]

JustStopDude

Doug Baldwin is a fucking beast!

Romonobyl

ODB worthy grab right there.

Sharkbait

We’ve replaced Doug Baldwin with Odel Beckham. Let’s see if anyone notices.

Redshirt

Define “throwing motion”.

hippofant

It’s the same as “In the grasp”.

ThePirateSloth

What. In. The. Entire. God. Damn. Fuck. Is. That.

ThePirateSloth

We need the Matron Saint on the sidelines again.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Flo rida, Kevin Hart, and Trump on the Fallon show.
If the planet collapses into a black hole, you know who to blame.

The Maestro

THE UNHOLY TRINITY

Redshirt

If ISIS hits the Tonight Show that night, I don’t know whether to give them a drone strike or a medal.

entropy

Medal delivered via drone strike?

Dunstan

Even Fallon can’t find a way to laugh at that group

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I tried to do Vikings roleplay with my partner last night, but he wouldn’t let me beat him to death with Gary Anderson’s turf shoe.

entropy

Holy shit that is funny

Romonobyl

The Mrs. just started having hot flashes, her timing couldn’t be better.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Ok McDonalds, we get it. You want black people to buy your food. Stop it!

Recovery Whiskey

According to World Star and Liveleak, plenty of black people already go to McDonalds

Defensive Back Mike Wallace
ThePirateSloth

Control yourself Dok

litre_cola

Question, how well does the site work on an ipad (refreshing)? I want to stream the ice football game while multitasking.

bourb0nblues

Some strong tracksuit game already. Thanks for the heads up!

litre_cola

Kane fell while skating on for warm up. Hilarious.

theeWeeBabySeamus

My biggest problem on iPad is getting logged out and not being able to log back in for some weird reason. I got logged out 3 days ago, and every attempt to log back in has basically been like pissing into the wind.

entropy

Clear all your safari data, or download Chrome.

Anyway, on the iPad, it’s…. OK. WordPress does some weird code that does not play well with iOS, so you’ll end up refreshing for the +1 more often than you’d like, but it’s decent enough.

theeWeeBabySeamus

But I’ll lose my porn link history. 😉

evilbeaver8

I genuinely love how insincere and clearly irritated Dan Patrick gets when leading into a sponsored segment.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“A Burfict circle of personal foul pennnnnnns”

Defensive Back Mike Wallace
Doktor Zymm

Twerking fails are some of the funniest shit on the internet.

Spur

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Doktor Zymm

Fun Fact! Nipples are quick to frostbite!

bourb0nblues

His albedo rating is off the chart.

John Difool

At least he’ll be able open everyone’s beers with his nipples at the post-game tail-gate.

Bortleback

If he lives that long

ThePirateSloth

That’s why you’re not coaching anymore Dungy, you dumbfuck

John Difool

He pronounces Adrian “Adren”….. he even talks like a near corpse.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace
Spur

Here comes Peter King “thoughts on Burfict” circlejerk.

litre_cola

God, so distracted by Ice football in half an hour. #tracksuitnight is absolutely fantastic on twitter. Ice Bombers v Ice Bills will be great and due to regional restrictions I can’t see it!!!!

MikeWallaceAndGromit

My dad just texted me the following:
“I now have another reason to hate Pete Carroll. He just threw his gum out on the sideline.”

John Difool

Somebody os gonna break a toe on that wad after the half.

Redshirt

That bastard!

ThePirateSloth

That’s some quality, old school hate.

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