Your “This Game’s Gonna Be Great!…Hopefully” Wild Card Tilt Open Thread

GB @ Was: The weather in Washington, UK is 41 degrees but it feels like 34. However I don’t think that it’s going to be an issue for this game. It’s been quite some time since the Slurs hosted a playoff game. This’ll give you an idea:

-Bread was only .25 but you had to slice it yourself.

-Women holding mics on the sidelines were called ‘assistants to someone that matters’ or ‘wanton hussies’.

-The NFL called concussions ‘a figment of everyone’s fevered imaginations’.

-Dan Snyder was in grade school, mixing Lysol and tap water together, labeling it as ‘lemonade’ and selling it for a buck a glass to his classmates.

-speaking of school, Tom Coughlin was walking uphill thru 4 feet of snow to a one-room schoolhouse.

-bananas hadn’t been invented in a Monsanto hothouse yet.

Those were the days, huh? Contrary to what every Packers backer thinks/the expectation of the casual NFL fan/common sense/all that is good and right in the world, Wash has an enormous advantage at the QB spot. Over the last 10 games Rodgers has a 57% completion rate and a 16TD/6INT ratio. Over that same span Cousins’ passes have found their mark 72 percent of the time and his TD/INT ratio is a “am I reading this right?” 23-3! But wait! The Slurs didn’t win a single game against a team that was over .500. Also, of Cousins 11 picks, 7 came against the blitz. There is a team playing today that blitzed the 5th-most this year. I’ll give you a second or two to figure out which one it is. Hint-for this game only the Pack D has named themselves “The Cousins Fuckers”. Now that you’ve got every single relevant bit of data related to this game, well, start with the typing!

 

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Doktor Zymm

HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE. ALL HATE AND MORE BOOZE MAKES ZYMM A DULL GIRL.

entropy

Hate can be fun, and you seem fine to us,

King Hippo

Hate is our currency on DFO

litre_cola

I think Sill would say you are too young to be drinking in DesMoines young man,

Romonobyl

Doubt you’ll need that bed heater tonight.

litre_cola

Oh god i laughed at this Moose.

Dunstan

“Gooood.. Give in to your hate. Let it flow through … you know what? Maybe you’re taking it a little too far.” Emperor Palpatine

LeggoMyRiggo

one calf = 2 feet and both knees down.

entropy

I am now watching an Avril Lavigne video because I want to see a pretty blonde bounce around on my TV. It’s on mute because her music sucks, BUT THIS IS WHAT YOUVE BROUGHT ME TO, NFL!!!! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!!’

ThePirateSloth

but but but…. there’s an entire world of free porn out there.

entropy

Living room, Windows, neighbors, too drunk for porn, AND I THINK SHE’S HOT.

Bortleback

Isn’t there some mad conspiracy theory about how she died and was replaced with a lookalike?

ballsofsteelandfury

She is definitely pretty.

ThePirateSloth

If I was not already hating tired as fuck of PeyPey, FoxSportsGo has cemented my deep seated hatred of all that is PeyPey by showing this god damn Nationwide commercial on every god damn commercial break.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Also, almost forgot. Commercial break

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpc8ha6ZAy1qles4j.gif

Doktor Zymm

I’m probably too old to be found stabbed to death in a shitty NYC hotel room.

rockingdog

how does steelers vs packers in the superbowl sound?

entropy

Fucking awful.

...

YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

painful

Kungjitsu

Landry Jones Super Bowl MVP

litre_cola

As bad as Packers v Manning or Brady

Sharkbait

Stop.

Sharkbait

How was he down, but I’ve seen guys sit on players on the ground and get up and keep going and they aren’t?

ThePirateSloth

Good job finding that hole and hitting it Morris.

WhyEaglesWhy

Challenge that shit.

LeggoMyRiggo

these are the [*Redacted] s. they blew the whistle on contact.

Doktor Zymm

Yay Morris. They’re gonna ditch him and be shitty next year. He was a draft win. So is Reed. They’re all going to have great careers elsewhere. Damn. I’m really sad now. This ain’t cool.

litre_cola

With how the last 2 games have gone, there is a shit tonne of time left Dok

Doktor Zymm

I’m at the bottom of the sine curve. NO HOPE. NO FUTURE.

synapticmisfires

This is exactly what I was afraid of. The Packers limp into the playoffs, face the Landover SlumpBusters, and then suddenly find themselves and run the table.

I don’t particularly like the [*Redacted] s as it is, but if they give us a Packers Super Bowl, I will never forgive them.

Glorious Chairman Dan

Never ever depend on the Washington Fuckups.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

Top left.

Doktor Zymm

Airplanes don’t fly fast enough for me to head that way and sabotage the shit out of the Packers. I’ll just have to settle for drinking a lot and at least my bed will be comfortable when I weep myself to sleep.

LeggoMyRiggo

Vince Lombardi. Washington [*Redacted] s Ring of Fame legend.

Dunstan

Add Gillian Anderson to the list of redheads who have aged well.

entropy

Coldplay sucks, but Jesus I enjoyed Chris Martin singing with Peter Gabriel at the 2014 Rock and roll hall of fame induction ceremony. He was so happy to be playing with Gabriel.

Recovery Whiskey

Anyone else worried new X-Files is just going to suck?

...

Yes. A lot.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Glorious Chairman Dan

These [*Redacted] s are as,shitty as they’ve always,been. All the hype jinxed us. Time for a desperate Kirk interception.

ThursdaySkyGoddess
Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Is that Jack LaLane’s jumpsuit?

Doktor Zymm

Appreciated. I need it at this point.

ballsofsteelandfury

WEIRD SCORE SUPER BONER!

...

I DO NOT LIKE THE PACKERS WHY ARE THEY WINNING GODDAMN IT

Glorious Chairman Dan

They are playing a shitty team that duped everyone into thinking they were good?

Doktor Zymm

Denial? Denial.

Hey guys? Did you hear about that river in Egypt?

Romonobyl

Sorry Dok, you’ll always have us though!

Doktor Zymm

No amount of yellow pants will make me feel better now. This is a travesty.

rockingdog

touchdown! shots for every1!!!

entropy

Too late

...

Goddamn it.

fleshwound_NPG

Been semi-napping since 1st quarter, and it looks like good Green Bay is somewhat back.

King Hippo

now I’m just depressed

Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm

C’MON KERRIGAN. DEFENSIVE DREAMBOAT HIS ASS.
comment image&w=1484

entropy

Wow. Holding IS legal now. Fuckit, shot time for entropy.

Horatio Cornblower

MAAAAAAAAAAAKE OUUUUU….
Oh, never mind. As you were.

blaxabbath

If Watt spent more time training his body and less time dicking off for insurance commercials, maybe he wouldn’t have had to leave the playoff game yesterday.

Glorious Chairman Dan

No wonder Weeden couldn’t start in the playoffs

Sharkbait

sit bad that I kind of want to watch the people vs. OJ Simpson?

ThursdaySkyGoddess

I’m hoping there’s an open thread for it.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Actual end of 3rd

comment image

JustStopDude
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

End of 3rd… well close enough

http://i.imgur.com/ZlTCHlh.gif

rockingdog

Louis CK i see you

King Hippo

That’s the smile of someone who must have enjoyed the Grindr scene in the PHX metro area.

Doktor Zymm

If I ran for president on the platform of killing Dan Snyder and reallocating his team ownership, would y’all vote for me?

blaxabbath

No because you’d just reallocate it to the banks.

Which is both socialism and cronyism. The two things that make America great?

King Hippo

Sounds fun!

LeggoMyRiggo

distribution of wealth. i like it. Only if you implement fan ownership bonds a la Green Bay.

...

Hmmm… Could you publicly humiliate him first? Lock him in the stocks and let us throw rotten produce at him?

Recovery Whiskey

DC is a town noted for its political scandals. Why has there been nothing yet

LeggoMyRiggo

Holding is legal now.

litre_cola

Aaron Rodgers looks pretty comfy right now.

Brocky

why wouldn’t he? his above average teammates are actually playing to his ability

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
hippofant

Clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack….

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Phew, I thought I was hearing things.

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