Your “This Game’s Gonna Be Great!…Hopefully” Wild Card Tilt Open Thread

GB @ Was: The weather in Washington, UK is 41 degrees but it feels like 34. However I don’t think that it’s going to be an issue for this game. It’s been quite some time since the Slurs hosted a playoff game. This’ll give you an idea:

-Bread was only .25 but you had to slice it yourself.

-Women holding mics on the sidelines were called ‘assistants to someone that matters’ or ‘wanton hussies’.

-The NFL called concussions ‘a figment of everyone’s fevered imaginations’.

-Dan Snyder was in grade school, mixing Lysol and tap water together, labeling it as ‘lemonade’ and selling it for a buck a glass to his classmates.

-speaking of school, Tom Coughlin was walking uphill thru 4 feet of snow to a one-room schoolhouse.

-bananas hadn’t been invented in a Monsanto hothouse yet.

Those were the days, huh? Contrary to what every Packers backer thinks/the expectation of the casual NFL fan/common sense/all that is good and right in the world, Wash has an enormous advantage at the QB spot. Over the last 10 games Rodgers has a 57% completion rate and a 16TD/6INT ratio. Over that same span Cousins’ passes have found their mark 72 percent of the time and his TD/INT ratio is a “am I reading this right?” 23-3! But wait! The Slurs didn’t win a single game against a team that was over .500. Also, of Cousins 11 picks, 7 came against the blitz. There is a team playing today that blitzed the 5th-most this year. I’ll give you a second or two to figure out which one it is. Hint-for this game only the Pack D has named themselves “The Cousins Fuckers”. Now that you’ve got every single relevant bit of data related to this game, well, start with the typing!

 

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LeggoMyRiggo

dont take a knee, KURT!

Sharkbait

The name Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix will never not be funny.

Doktor Zymm

SO MUCH THIS.

If he ever plays for DC I’m buying a jersey stat quick.

WCS

NFC Eastish

Doktor Zymm

Oh for fucking dick paste shit.

litre_cola

How are them martinis?

Doktor Zymm

I’m sticking to wine for the time being. I probably don’t need to be chugging liquor flavored with other liquor just yet.

...

“Dick paste shit” is a great turn of phrase.

...

Christ on a fucking bike Slurs.

Senor Weaselo

All right, I’ve got a rehearsal, so I’m out for this one. Have fun everyone!

John Difool

It begins….

King Hippo

be glad Dok didn;t invite us THIS week

entropy

It’s cool. We’d be off in the other room playing depressing Layne Staley videos as she massacreeed everyone in sight,

ballsofsteelandfury

Classy

Doktor Zymm

I’m just gonna turn on caps lock, cause there gonna be yelling.
IT’S OKAY WE CAN MORRIS IT IN OR REED IT IN OR PRETEND WE’RE THE PATRIOTS AND QB SNEAK IT IN.

Gratliff

So about that

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

He hit the pylon. Is that not a rule anymore? Or are they saying his other foot hit first?

Recovery Whiskey

Foot crosses but ball doesn’t. Took talent

nomonkeyfun

DaFuq? I assume that is another DPRK image.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Desean Jackson keeping the ball out of the end zone like it’s another gang’s territory, no offense.

nomonkeyfun

I am confused. Has Harper started to play teh footy?

Glorious Chairman Dan

That was not a TD

WCS

TD or not, I’m not comfortable living in a world where both Clemson AND the professional Washington football team are competent. Apologies, Dok.

comment image

...

It’s really fucking weird, isn’t it?

Recovery Whiskey

Arnold sounds like a real US Secretary of Defense

John Difool

I haven’t seen a bunch of yellows getting slaughtered this bad by [*Redacted] s since a group of Apache’s rode on a Chinese Continental railroad camp….

ballsofsteelandfury

No TD. Then again, it’s the NFL so who the fuck knows anymore.

Senor Weaselo

It’s a safety.

Old School Zero

I don’t think desean got the ball across the line. Again.

King Hippo

old habits die hard

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

He’s in! Right… ?

litre_cola

not even the tip

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Sorry, I am reading Aaron Rodgers’ journal out loud.

ballsofsteelandfury

Aaron Rodgers’ first practice with Brett Favre.

Recovery Whiskey

Ball did not cross

Doktor Zymm

I should just stop watching at the half. The last Skins game started well too….

...

The mood shifts begin!

Doktor Zymm

Playoff game, I should specify. Then the knee….and….*shudder*

entropy

YOU HAVE POWERS NOW. Don’t doubt, it weakens you

King Hippo

Rodgers looks about as displeased as when they cancelled Project Runway.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

They WHAT?!!

Romonobyl

That safety already skull-fucked my office pool.

Recovery Whiskey

Redacteddown

...

Dok just splooshed.

Wakezilla

Desean with some cop speed for the TD

Doktor Zymm

DJAX HAHA TAKE THAT PHILLY I BET YOU WANT HIM BACK NOW!

litre_cola

I know I do.

Doktor Zymm

I have to think it was compensation for the McNabb thing. Eagles win one trade, Skins the other.

Gratliff

My son is annoyed that I won’t replace his DeSean Jackson jersey because he’s a little shit who doesn’t understand that he isn’t actually a blood like Chip Kelly said.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

SLURSDOWN!!!!!

King Hippo

redacting all over the place!!!

WCS

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I feel like a failure for posting the original as a reply earlier instead of this

Wakezilla

Game starts in 2 hours

Sharkbait

gang fight!

Glorious Chairman Dan

Hope Alfred has a great game today.

Doktor Zymm

I’m gonna be so pissed when the Skins trade him. SO. PISSED.

King Hippo

home just in time for GLORIOUS SAFETY

LeggoMyRiggo

Aaron Rodgers can dance did he wants to. But his friends don’t damce and if hey don’t sance then they’re no friends of mine.

entropy

I love how fucked up this got by the end.

entropy

I have transferred my powers to Dok for this game.

Doktor Zymm

Thanks!
It doesn’t get much better than this.

litre_cola

For this safety I decided to crack Poit Dhubh gaelic whisky. Anyone ever have it? http://www.gaelicwhisky.com

Bortleback

They’re spelling whiskey wrong

entropy

I knew I liked you, Bortle

litre_cola

So if I said the whisky has the honourable colour of a rye whisky that would offend?

entropy

You’re making me angry. litre.

ballsofsteelandfury

Please let this game end 2-0. I don’t ask much.

Wakezilla

How about 4-2?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

BOO this man for copy and pasting my comment on the newer comments page.

Sorry, I meant I am with you

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No way two people could ever think the same thing…. EVER!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I agree, glad you are on the same page with me

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Romonobyl

That video is what I think a LSD trip would be like if I ever decided to take LSD but I haven’t ever taken LSD.

Recovery Whiskey

Everybody look at your hands

Gratliff

Let this be our final score!

Doktor Zymm

WE CAN DANCE IF WE WANT TO BUT YOU CAN’T A.A. RON CAUSE YOU SITTING ON YOUR ASS IN THE WRONG END ZONE. HAHA!

Doktor Zymm

I’ve actually always wanted to go see those. It’s one of the few times DPRK actually grants visas to foreigners.

litre_cola

Watched so many doco’s on North Korea, I really want to go.

JustStopDude

Its really expensive. basically you come in and you HAVE to convert a certain amount of USD into local currency. Everything will be more expensive for you. Then when you leave, you can’t convert your money back or take the local currency with you.

Doktor Zymm

Oh, I know it would be costly as all hell, but it’s truly unique. You’re gonna have to pay for something like that.

JustStopDude

I was working in China and a couple of my coworkers went there. I didn’t go as a Yank nor did my coworker who is South Korean as he would face jail time for going.