Your “This Game’s Gonna Be Great!…Hopefully” Wild Card Tilt Open Thread

GB @ Was: The weather in Washington, UK is 41 degrees but it feels like 34. However I don’t think that it’s going to be an issue for this game. It’s been quite some time since the Slurs hosted a playoff game. This’ll give you an idea:

-Bread was only .25 but you had to slice it yourself.

-Women holding mics on the sidelines were called ‘assistants to someone that matters’ or ‘wanton hussies’.

-The NFL called concussions ‘a figment of everyone’s fevered imaginations’.

-Dan Snyder was in grade school, mixing Lysol and tap water together, labeling it as ‘lemonade’ and selling it for a buck a glass to his classmates.

-speaking of school, Tom Coughlin was walking uphill thru 4 feet of snow to a one-room schoolhouse.

-bananas hadn’t been invented in a Monsanto hothouse yet.

Those were the days, huh? Contrary to what every Packers backer thinks/the expectation of the casual NFL fan/common sense/all that is good and right in the world, Wash has an enormous advantage at the QB spot. Over the last 10 games Rodgers has a 57% completion rate and a 16TD/6INT ratio. Over that same span Cousins’ passes have found their mark 72 percent of the time and his TD/INT ratio is a “am I reading this right?” 23-3! But wait! The Slurs didn’t win a single game against a team that was over .500. Also, of Cousins 11 picks, 7 came against the blitz. There is a team playing today that blitzed the 5th-most this year. I’ll give you a second or two to figure out which one it is. Hint-for this game only the Pack D has named themselves “The Cousins Fuckers”. Now that you’ve got every single relevant bit of data related to this game, well, start with the typing!

 

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
1.6K Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
makeitsnowondem

There’s almost nothing worse you can do in football than give Aaron Rodgers a free play.

ballsofsteelandfury

Go with Ben into a restroom?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Be at a prom chaperoned by Mark Chmura?

laserguru

Follow Charles Haley into the showers?

Gratliff

Good thing Superman doesn’t have XRay vision

JustStopDude

comment image

laserguru

It’s pretty amazing how fucked up you can get when you really set your mind to it.

SHOTS!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

SHOTS!

laserguru

SHOTTZZSSSS!!!!

Doktor Zymm

Slide one of those this way.

laserguru

Here you go, Dok.

Doktor Zymm

Salud!

laserguru

Here’s looking up your old address!

entropy

My man. Welcome to flavor country, soon to be BAT COUNTRY

entropy

You can always stop in Bat Country

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am taking this as a request for me to do one

entropy

If he doesn’t join you, I will

ThePirateSloth

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ahead of you

Doktor Zymm

...

Marge is oddly busty there…

rockingdog

oh thank heaven 7-11.

Glorious Chairman Dan

What the,fuck did I tell you. These retarda don’t learn from the first nohuddle….

We’re going to kose by five points.

John Difool

What a load of horseshot

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
laserguru

Fucking Fredo, man.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Yeah. I might make it to the Conference championships though

King Hippo

that was quite the turnaround

Brocky

and under no circumstance will green bay be considered shady for doing that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

How do the referees see the guy who is offsides but not Gruden?

JustStopDude
Doktor Zymm

Please Beergh. I will sacrifice this wine to you.

FUCK YOU. YOU SUCK.

...

FAT GRUDEN FUCKS UP AGAIN

entropy

Red state soundsystem, scatterlings & refugees, no link for I am lazy, look it up, is good.

Brocky

I know it happened last quarter, but no flag for clay matthews putting his hands on cousin’s facemask?

blaxabbath

Fuck Matthews.

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Yeah. This shit.

Glorious Chairman Dan

Now the Comepack begins.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS JAMES JONES I CALL HIM TRAYVON MARTIN CAUSE HE WEARS A HOODIE AND A BUNCH OF ASSHOLES IN WASHINGTON HATE HIM RIGHT NOW.

Doktor Zymm

Compelling!

hippofant

Rodgers: My pocket’s collapsing right? Maybe on this side? Oh… okay… I’ll just throw this deep post then.

rockingdog

Mr Rodgers Neighborhood

blaxabbath

I feel good about ARI’s chances next week.

Moonbatting Average

Week after that, not so much

blaxabbath

Cross that bridge when they come to it.

ballsofsteelandfury

As you should. The byes are hugely important in today’s NFL.

ballsofsteelandfury

Does Green Bay have a really shitty offensive line or is the Washington D good?

Romonobyl

No.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

GB line is shit. Has been for years. Rodgers and his normally good receiving crew have masked it.

Shogun Marcus

We replaced our O-Line with a colander. Have you noticed?

Doktor Zymm

They have some good pass rushers, no secondary. It’s actually a pretty good combo when the opponent has an O-line as shitty as GB.

Doktor Zymm

THE WIND IS NOT BENEATH YOUR WINGS RODGERS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO WINGS AND ARE A HORRIBLE ACTOR

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have been able to ignore that this is a Buck/Aikman game until they showed their stupid faces. I want to punch both of them now and their voices got 3x more grating.

synapticmisfires

Ok….it’s been said before, but FedEx Field is nowhere near the MLK memorial. It’s a lot closer to MLK Drive than to the monument on the Tidal Basin.

Romonobyl

0-11. I usually get numbers like that. Not this time, of course.

...

POST PLAY CHIPPINESS!

Sharkbait
blaxabbath

Christ – even the Chevy asshole is in postseason mode.

King Hippo

If this game ended 11-2, or 11-4…oh how wondrous it would be

blaxabbath

Wait — SLURS have two missed XPs, not a safety?

ballsofsteelandfury

Safety, FG, missed Xtra point.

Yeah.

JustStopDude
Moonbatting Average

Looks like Lhasa

ballsofsteelandfury

Weird score boner stays erect!

Doktor Zymm

AND FUCK. That better not be a game changer. I will RRRRAARGHTHREHSODU if that is a game changer.

Romonobyl

I got RAGE THRESHOLD. Anybody else?

entropy

Rage was in there somewhere, then I flashed back to catholic school and hid out.

Romonobyl

I still think a DOINK should be worth 8 points.

Romonobyl

Three for a PAT.

Doktor Zymm

It’s true, it’s a much smaller target! Way harder to hit an upright than to kick into a large open area.

ballsofsteelandfury

So, you’re OK with a guy thrusting into your clit?

Doktor Zymm

Done correctly? Sure.

blaxabbath

THIS [*Redacted] S STADIUM, I CALL IT FEDEX FIELD BECAUSE IT REALLY DELIVERS!

ThursdaySkyGoddess

WOOHOO!!!

John Difool

I LIKE THAT

...

Yesssssssssss the missed extra point ensures an odd score.

makeitsnowondem

Are these assholes chanting “USA”? DIAF.

Shogun Marcus

You like that. You like that.

Wakezilla

I was about to ask that. Da shit is that all about?

ThursdaySkyGoddess

I want them to miss the XP so the score can stay 11.

makeitsnowondem

Boom.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Well then.

Shogun Marcus

Whoa.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They should call this team the Washington Reed-skins.

Wakezilla

I beat you by about 30 seconds. Don’t feel bad though, I usually come first.

1 3 4 5 6 7 14