Your “Run, Olivia Munn-It’s A Trap!” NFC Division Semi-Final Open Thread

Why is it that QB Palmer can’t have nice things? He was imprisoned in Cincy then renaissance-ed in Arizony then season-injured. Now he’s having a career year and I can’t help but feel it will all come tumbling down. Was his dad a preacher in the Church of God With Signs Following? Is that why he’s snake-bitten? One thing though, the Pack better not blitz him much. Against pressure he has an 84 QBR, a 9.4 yds. per throw average and a 65% completion rate. What he also has over his entire career is not a one playoff victory. Zona LB Okafor is done for the season with some sort of toe injury that no one wants to talk about. No doubt it was fireworks. I’ve got a sixth sense about these things. RB Johnson was held in check the last time these teams met (wk. 16) but as my wife says, “you can’t hold a man-beast down for long”. I think she was yakking about one of her countless exes but what do I know? Stupid, ineffectual QB Rodgers has recently been replaced by superstar Rodgers-which one will show up today? Remember the 51-45 score-fest that happened a way back in ’09? I’d love to see that sort of game again. That particular game you had to race to the bathroom during ads to ensure that you didn’t miss a score. START TYPING YOU SCAMPS!

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Duchess

I really hate those dumb GE ads with the douche bag talking down to all of his friends.

Romonobyl

I don’t have that issue, my friends aren’t fucking morons.

jjfozz

Packers not an original franchise – something to mention to their obnoxious fans who brag about the “history”

Brocky

But they were around in the 1800s! The 1919 title totally counts!

Sill Bimmons

dafuq?

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

So, I brought home leftover pork chop and brisket from dinner – any suggestions on how to turn them into a meal?

Doktor Zymm

Put them in your face and chew? Maybe some rice?

WCS

By eating them.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Mix with copious amounts of alcohol?

Sharkbait

The brisket you could turn into an open faced sandwich. The pork…you could slice thin and get some ham and turn it into a cuban.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

All good suggestions.

Doktor Zymm

idea :
COMMENTIST BOX WINE PARTY!

WOOOO!

King Hippo

chuh chuh? CHUH CHUH!

ThePirateSloth

BULEE DAT

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Whoever wrote the song “you don’t own me”, should be lynched.

Doktor Zymm

I have no problem with the original song. It features in the original Hairspray. Later uses…ehhh..h..

Sill Bimmons

Shades Of Blue might be the most objectionable piece of public entertainment since Birth Of A Nation.

jjfozz

“Jennifer Lopez out does herself”

Talk about damning with faint praise . . .

Sill Bimmons
Doktor Zymm

Tic-tac-toe

theeWeeBabySeamus

Matthew Broderick should have been murdered years ago.
/I’m sorry…did I say that out loud?

Sharkbait

The only winning move is…not to play.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Andy Reid likes this +1

Spur
theeWeeBabySeamus

At this rate, I ain’t seeing no Deadwood today goddammit
http://titsandsass.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/ajoaniediddling.gif

Doktor Zymm

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A CHARDONNAY PARTY

...

You beat me to yelling this.

Spur

She buys her wine in a gas station and settles for shitty beer recommended by the corrupt local Sheriff.

Doktor Zymm

Be yourself. EVEN IF YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON.

ThePirateSloth

What about a chardon-heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey party involving male strippers?

Doktor Zymm

Tell me more?

tundrajim

And you were going to bring lukewarm Chardonnay to this party? What are you, an animal?

jjfozz

How Andy Reid will cope with the loss:
comment image

Sill Bimmons

RE: Chicago Med.

If there’s a person in an OR screaming about what teh whozitz oar who teh whatzitz they’d be fired on the spot and sued into Third World poverty for criminal negligence.

indieguy

My nurse friend can’t watch nurse jackie due to the amount of medical stuff they get wrong in that show.

The Maestro

Oh man, I hope someone screencapped that poor bastard in the Vikes jersey.

Sharkbait

At least he escaped the frozen hellhole I imagine Minnesota is this time of year.

Romonobyl

Chinese Braised Beef takes a long fucking time. I’m starving over here…

Doktor Zymm

I would toss ya meatball, cept I already ate em.

Sharkbait

I am intrigued by these chinese short ribs. Are they rubbed with 5 spice before braising?

Romonobyl

It’s in the liquid, along with dry sherry, garlic, ginger root, hoisin sauce and molasses. Yeah, should be worth the wait.

Sharkbait

That sounds fucking amazing. I usually braise shortribs in vermouth, but I will be trying that.

Duchess

I like Christopher Walken a lot more when he isn’t doing a Christopher Walken impersonation.

Sill Bimmons

…AND FUCK YOURSELF SILLY WITH A MOTHER FUCKING KIA…

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Go fresh yourself Subway

Spur

Would the Packers be in the playoffs if the phantom facemask call didn’t happen?

tundrajim

Huh, Cris says that the Green Bay receivers have a lot in common with New England’s receivers. I wonder why that is.

WCS

GRIT

Bortleback

They’re both catching passes from a guy wearing number 12 [/grumblelord]

Doktor Zymm

Does it count as pants if it’s comfy sweat pants without underwear and I had to go outside earlier?

Sill Bimmons

no

Sharkbait

Nope. comfy pants do not equal regualr pants.

...

I suspect the Commentists will be unanimous on this issue.

ThePirateSloth

Noooooooooooooooooope

Duchess

going commando in comfy pants… those are just really big granny panties

jjfozz

THIS GAME, I CALL IT AN REM SONG BECAUSE “EVERYBODY HURTS”

WCS

Radio just said Cobb’s out for the rest of the game.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Hey kids, how we doing?

Doktor Zymm

You saw the first game?

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Off and on. I was at dinner with the in-laws.

Spur

Bad. The Pats won today.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

But we got some Andy Reid clock mismanagement, so that’s fun.

Sill Bimmons

Poorly.

Spur

Rodgers does the same thing every play, just meanders away from the rush and then zips it 5-10 yards to the sideline.

Sharkbait

Sushi acquired=pants off.

Doktor Zymm

Mmm…sushi

Sill Bimmons

Less than the best to you, you Aussie fail.

Bloody Lethal

Way to go.

I’ve lost a yugggggge amount on money on the market lately, Cris, you creepy cunt.

Duchess

Oil going to $8?

Duchess

oh god it just hit me that the Broncos are playing the shell of a team known as the Steelers… this will lead into Peyton v Brady.

FML

King Hippo

Silver lining – WHEN PeyPey wins the very last one, it will eat away at Dreamboat’s “soul” for the rest of his miserable fucking life.

Sill Bimmons

Don’t count out RAPEY BEN so quickly…

theeWeeBabySeamus

You mean one armed Rapey Ben.
AKA the lefty slot machine.

...

The one-armed bandit!

Duchess

Both kinds are illegal in most bathrooms

King Hippo

Seriously, I’m amazed that he’s even playing. If he’s EFFECTIVE, it defies all basic logic, anatomy, and physics.

Sill Bimmons
King Hippo

yes, but the ligaments are structurally necessary to make the arm like, WORK.

Duchess

The Ben is used to forcing himself in situations where he should just go the other way.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Niiiiice.

Spur

Batman vs Superman vs low expectations.

Sill Bimmons

BETTING THE FARM ON LOW EXPECTATIONS

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Why the fuck does Steve Harvey need another show?

Sill Bimmons

Because.

Spur

Because your mom thinks he’s so funny.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

And I can’t stand her for it.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Why did he need one?

Duchess

Because he’s just building a bank roll for all the angry lawsuits about Strayer University?

ThePirateSloth

If you guys haven’t heard from me by Tuesday, pour some out for me, as I have suffocated from this poor soul who doused himself in Johnson baby powder and Coolwater cologne.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Batman: Do you bleed
Superman: Yea, but how are you not?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Obligatory “Get to dah choppah” comment.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Julius Peppers: still awesome

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck that dude.
Cheating Tar Heel motherfucking cunt.

Sill Bimmons

Heh heh heh he said youpotty.

Sill Bimmons

Harper’s Ferry ain’t just a boat.

Romonobyl

Da’ Nile ain’t just a river…

Spur

I bet John Brown would have made one hell of a Linebackers coach.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Another reminder that refs suck

Romonobyl

FUCK THA P*ATS!!!!!!!
Sorry, had to get that out of my system.

WCS
King Hippo

remember, save some for next week. PeyPey, snow, Moose, MBA, and I will need the support!

theeWeeBabySeamus

So you’re presuming a successful go round tomorry then?

King Hippo

Trying to be optimistic. Plus if PIT has to go to Foxboro…there’s no fucking chance in hell.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That would indeed be a meteor rooting interest.

Duchess

So Green Bay will spend their half time trying to figure out how to burn Olivia Munn at the stake

WCS
Sill Bimmons

SO STARWNG

Sill Bimmons

Tattoo Count!

Romonobyl

A winking starfish between my butt cheeks, but it’s original equipment.

Sill Bimmons

We all have that.

Jethro

Frostee Rucker: Former Bengal.

Spur

I want this game to turn into last week’s Assholes from Pittsburgh/Cincy game.

...

I’m super upset that I have been deprived of a 100-year pick six.

makeitsnowondem

same

WCS

BLEERGH CARES NOT FOR YOUR MORTAL EMOTIONS

Bloody Lethal

That’s a long pick six.

...

It seems as if my cognitive capacity and motor skills have been impaired.

Spur

SOFT
REAL SOFT

Romonobyl

Sqeezably soft.

Sill Bimmons
...

I like the “basic” variety.

King Hippo

Sensitive or GTFO. Once you wipe with that, you will NEVAR go back. I have my own shitting redweld at the office for that very reason.

Sill Bimmons

Ultra Strong or GTFO.

NEED STRENGTH OVER SENSITIVITY

Duchess

Im trying to do my best acting not enjoying the Packers losing with my Packers fan GF next to me.

Doktor Zymm

That’s a tough road. When I was dating Patriot’s dude I actually managed to not show my hate. It was hard.

Duchess

Wait was he full on Pats dude or bandwagon “I like them cause Brady is the best QB ever!”

King Hippo

based on what Dok has said, sounds like he was JUST THE WORST.

/tis ok, we all gots one of those

//I have MOAR THAN ONE

Doktor Zymm

Broke his hand during the last Giants win.

King Hippo

Cheers to THAT!

Doktor Zymm

Oh Bull FUCKING SHIT

Doktor Zymm

HIS HAND WOULD NOT BE THERE IF HE HADN’T BEEN TOTALLY HELD

Old School Zero

BLEERGH IS OUR SAVIOR WE SHALL NOT WHISTLE

makeitsnowondem

Your taunting penalty will freeze before it gets ten yards.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Spur

Taunting flags are ridiculous. These are grown ass men with smooth round asses. – Rodgers.