Wednesdays Suck Open Thread

King Hippo -
273

I have no scientific evidence to back this up, but consistently in my life, bad shit disproportionately happens on Wednesday. I do not make doctor’s appointments, nor take my car to the shop on Wednesdays. I am always uncomfortable when a key basketball or footy match is scheduled for said day. That was the best part about Europa League (European footy’s NIT) – all the games were on Thursday, which is my GOOD LUCK day!

Anyway, that is my 1/16th-assed (h/t OSZ) attempt at an intro for your Wednesday open thread. I am off into the bitter cold to grill meatloaf burgers for my kids. It’s 27 out, and I may get to see flurries! Being North Cakalaky, panic is sure to ensue.

Your better sporting contest include: Nebraska at Sparty (6:30 EST, BTN); Texas at West By God Virginia (7:00, ESPNU); K State at BayBay (8:15, ESPN News); Villanova at Seton Hall (9:00, CBSSN); and Florida State at Louisville (9:00, ESPNU).

NBCSN has an Ice Footbaw doubleheader starting at 8, with 4 teams I know nothing about; and ESPN is showing the NBA if you consider that a sport for some ungodly reason. ESPN2 has Down Under el tenis (the sports unit was SO FUCKING EASY in high school Spanish, eh?) starting at 9, if you want to be all cultured and shit.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

http://data.whicdn.com/images/46254617/large.gif

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK……..

Sweet dreams.

http://57.media.tumblr.com/ba685b1b7ec8c0994eac559b520ae434/tumblr_nbc0cxkLR51tybfhmo1_250.gif

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laserguru

Paulie!!!!

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Porky Prime

SFW…uh…right?
http://s.orzzzz.com/news/e7/5d//5608b7f734f31.gif

Just nightmare fuel.

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Beerguyrob

http://replygif.net/i/782.gif

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Clearing old tabs so you get Caniance Patton

comment image

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Candice Patton* I corrected it wrong when I corrected and made it worse, Somehow hit send

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Why are there almost no pics of the Waitress online? Stupid Charlie keeping them all

http://media.vanityfair.com/photos/560aea33cb0b60c45980abcf/master/pass/mary-elizabeth-ellis-tout.jpg

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WCS

He keeps them all in his dram bok.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

There were too many Pacino and Deniro references to not post this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZtgQ6QBEyc

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNyAgN48FQo

This one

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WCS

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Porky Prime

comment image

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Senor Weaselo

Apparently Brandon Marshall’s on Colbert. No, the other Brandon Marshall.

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WCS

The sixth one?

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Senor Weaselo

Has anyone formed a band named Brandon and the Marshalls?

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

New WW2 Script

Flint Iron Stag: I am gonna kill me some Nazis

::kills every Nazi on a base::

FIS: Hey Female that was following me for no reason. Lets make out even though we have no chemistry and you hate everything I am

::finds Hitler::

FIS: I am going to shoot you with this gun, except I am conflicted even though I killed 200 people to get to you. I am sure you are a good man Hitler

Hitler: Nope

FIS: OH NO! A Squirel

::Hitler stays put for no reason::

FIS: I know you Hitler, you killed 6 million people but I know there is good inside which is why I keep letting you live for no reason

::Hitlers last ally flashes a laser pointer and distracts FIS::

::Hitler runs away::

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Senor Weaselo

Here’s many wheelbarrows full of money. Let us know if it’s enough.

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WCS

Dirk Hardpeck will kill Hitler next week.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Not if Slab BulkHead has anything to say about it

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Sharkbait

Punch Rockmeat will ride in and win the war. You watch.

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Don T

Lets make out even though we have no chemistry and you hate everything I am

::finds Hitler::

/still coughing

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Don T

I’m just gonna christen that .gif “So You Think You Can Be Erect Without Pfizer”

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Plus fucking one, Mister.

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Don T

Well, you did all the heavy lifting
/Meme of Spongebob’s Patrick blushing with buckteeth

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WCS

Don T. is Dennis.
comment image

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Not sure. He hasn’t tried to explain “The implication” yet. I mean I am sure he will, just hasn’t happened

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am really getting sick of shows that allow people that are trying to kill everyone/a city get a monologue about how the good guys shouldn’t kill them then always let them get away. The heroes of every god damn show cause more death than the bad guys. It is a fucking stupid trope, put a bullet in him, write the next story

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WCS

Alrighty then. Quick question: what show are you ranting about?

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

About 7 of them

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Heat (1995)

http://57.media.tumblr.com/420ca68a5fca89ec2eafdc5327478ca4/tumblr_nsemlvSeGc1rylr5to1_400.gif

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)

http://57.media.tumblr.com/427297398d08a7eeeb3a0faccd7a7d6d/tumblr_nsemlvSeGc1rylr5to2_400.gif

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WCS

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laserguru

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laserguru

Now, let’s drink.

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Sill Bimmons

Nighty night!

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laserguru

I had a discussion earlier with the great Overseers of DFO in the secret DFO underground lair about starting a new anthology series on the scariest thing that ever happened to you. We want to keep these as true stories but if you want to explore your inner Poe and dabble in some short form horror fiction that should be cool too. I have the first submission from an outside source and it’s heavy as fuck.

As fuck.

I may start with something not quite as heavy but all too damn real none-the-less.

I’m planning on calling the series “This Terrifying Life.”

If you have something you want to share I’m all ears. I am planning on using this to help fill the void of the “non-content” days of the off season.

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Senor Weaselo

The scariest thing would be if all the air turned to wood.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“No it wouldn’t.”
-Rex Grossman

“Oh, you meant….. never mind.”

-Rex Grossman

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WCS

You said, “wood.”

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Senor Weaselo

For the record, my reference:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVDyCpBjjRs

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My reference:

http://cdn.inquisitr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Rex-Grossman.jpg

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Sill Bimmons

Mine was removing a man’s ruined eye shot through by a nail gun.

Took 14 hours.

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laserguru

Jesus.

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Sill Bimmons

I’m an actual doctor.

These things happen.

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WCS

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Sill Bimmons

YEP

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Don T

I’d take a pee break after D.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Car wrecks, motorcycle wreck, bike wreck, close to a 50 foot rock face drop, weird shit on airplane flights, etc. you made me think about it but I can’t really say fear, some huge adgrenalian rushes but not fear per se. I would think there was something wrong with me, but the things that would come to mind are having your kids in danger or in combat. So maybe I’m just extremely fortunate not to have been in fearful situations, that’s probably it.

P.S. this is a hell of a good idea of yours for posts.

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laserguru

Thanks. I was thinking about a disclaimer that says “Terror is in the eye of the beholder.”
Not everything will be supernatural, some may be a near brush with death, something traumatizing etc.

Your results may vary.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I will probably skip the supernatural stuff, but still a great idea.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also in the hospital with a life threatening condition; I was thinking “Prolly shoulda deleted my browser history…..”

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WCS

I’ve been shot at. It wasn’t a pleasant experience.

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laserguru

You gots to share that shit.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Me too, well, it wasn’t “at” me, just an acquaintance fucking around. We were trippin’ ball at the time, so my perception of danger was somewhat limited.

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laserguru

Also post worthy. Something about being under the influence of LSD really heightens the old “Ultra-Violence.”

There is most definitely a related post coming up soon.

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entropy

I’ve been shot at, and it sucked ass. I also saw a friend slide right off the edge of the Grand Canyon, saw a bunch of Japanese tourists get struck by lightning there, I was once the person about ten NYC cops pointed their guns at (not the time I was shot at, oddly enough), and spent a memorable evening running from meth cooks in Coal Country, PA.

I’ve had a weird life, I think.

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Sharkbait

First thing that comes to mind is snapping my leg in half and the resulting complications afterward. 2 weeks in the hospital, nerve damage and several surgeries later (1 on 9/11 no less)
But Sill takes the medical cake. Holy fuck.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

North american researchers at UC Berkeley and California Academy of Sciences have found that the larger Pacific-striped octopus has a unique hunting strategy: Rather than pounce on its prey, it stalks and gently taps it to startle it. Often this drives it into the octopus’s waiting arms….

The larger Pacific striped octopus , is, despite its name, no bigger than a tangerine. Also uses a “slow bounce” to hunt. With its body flattened, and dorsal arms reaching forward, the octopus glides with sporadic bursts of hopping movements before it snatches up its prey of choice.

The octopus is rare, in fact, science has yet no even give it a formal scientific name (belong to Octopus genus). Is poorly understood, however, a recent study shown, they are somewhat social, they mate face-to-face, and the females produce multiple batches of offspring.

Video credit: Roy Caldwell, via UC Berkeley
Reference: Caldwell et al. 2015. Behavior and Body Patterns of the Larger Pacific Striped Octopus, PLOS

“excus my, buht can I? excus my–ÑAM!!! GOTCHA

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ballsofsteelandfury

That’s shockingly similar to my mating ritual.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Mine is more like …..

http://57.media.tumblr.com/3edfac3344c0d902e10dc36a293bb9d9/tumblr_ntkgneD47z1tlb56zo1_400.gif

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Don T

And that is why, you always step back when tapped by a stranger
http://arresteddevelopment.wikia.com/wiki/Lessons?file=1x10_Pier_Pressure_(42).png

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ballsofsteelandfury

That may have been one of the greatest episodes of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia ever!

Then again, I loved the 80s.

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Sill Bimmons

comment image?1358288872

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Don T

Selfie from my last high school reunion. I’m at bottom center.
http://s3.amazonaws.com/contemporaryartgroup/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/fc_img_5292.jpg

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Don T

It posted! First picture ever; glad it was a chockfull of dildos.
Clean dildos, mind you.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Perfect first picture post!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://57.media.tumblr.com/f0d43e25b05873890f10cb93b26273e7/tumblr_ns6ffcCTW81urr4rxo1_400.gif

Sploosh.

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Sill Bimmons

Pyrex works especially well right out of the dishwasher:

http://p.globalsources.com/IMAGES/PDT/B1004558963/Glass-dildo.jpg

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*let it cool down for a sec first…..

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Sill Bimmons

**depends on who you’re with

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think the drying/ sterilization cycle in a common dishwasher gets to ~160 degrees F so……. that was the basis of my joke anyways.

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Sill Bimmons

I’d sooner drink any of your urine than drink the “Banquet Beer.”

Fuck you, Sam Elliott.

We’ll meet “Mister” Adolph Coors in Hell you fucking jagoff.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We go back a ways in my family; my parents hated the Coors family:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Birch_Society

My dad caller him a ‘GOD DAMN BIRCHER SON OF A BITCH.’

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Sill Bimmons

Your dad is one smart motherfucker.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hate of the Coors family can be a precious gift passed down through the generations.

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Sill Bimmons

comment image

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Don T

I really miss liking the NBA. I just can’t get into it anymore; I rather hear people talking about it than watching it. Baskets seem too cheap.
Oh great dunk. What a steal and finish. He really posterized that guy. Boy those guys can’t score even inOneonta on Halloween. He got hot. Travel–no. Don’t pass it; slamit. Take it to the hole whatablock. That guy can’t box out for shit. Travel–no.
I can’t maintain that enthusiasm twice per quarter.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I lost interest in the NBA a long time ago because no one played defense.
I’m now on the verge of losing interest in college ball because officials are seemingly allowing anything goes defense for some teams.

Basketball used to be my favorite sport. Now….I just don’t know what to make of it.

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Don T

Abso. Lutely. Most of my youth I spent on neighborhood courts. The West Coast Nba game on Good Friday was the time to break fast and have a couple of burgers.
Then girls happened, and football (both kinds) became the end-all / be-all. Don’t ragret shit.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Would a different basket help?

http://tastyislandhawaii.com/images10/hon_burger_co/hburgerco_fries.jpg

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Doesn’t hurt.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Welcome to the club. I can’t stand the NBA.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hooker or not, Tatiana was…..what’s the word?
Top Shelf….let’s go with Top Shelf. Charlie should call it a win.
http://images4.fanpop.com/image/polls/703000/703526_1304110186735_full.jpg

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ballsofsteelandfury

DEFINITELY a win. I wonder if the DVD will have the unblurred breasts.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Yay Frank, yay fracking.
But most of all…yay hookers.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s a lot of fries on a sandwich.
I like it.

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Don T

-Are you single. Because we’re having a p–

-Married

-artyon. Wod. You’re married? Well OK bring your husband. We’re having a party. I mean wife. Bring your…

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Watching Charlie do pizza in the slalom is awesome.
Dennis has broken his ankles….they are surely broken.
LMFAO

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WCS

Dennis will win a contest by not being the sexual predator in question?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Dear lord, I still can’t believe Zoolander2 is a real thing.

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entropy

The only positive about that movie is that they take out Justin Bieber at some point. Can’t be all bad if they murder that douchenozzle.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

You have a point.

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WCS

I’m just gonna stop complaining about the mountain and let the mountain work for me.

This will all be a glue-based hallucination.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Noooooooo…Charlie needs this win.

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