So. Much. Gay.

Open:  A bar, tastefully decorated.  Oh yes, there are ferns.  Conversations can be had, although one has to lean close to do so.  Three athletic looking men sit at a quiet corner table engaged in conversation.  One can’t quite make out what they’re drinking but it looks like some kind of Schmidt’s.

Tyson Gay:  Man, glad you guys could meet me here for a drink or two.  it’s good to get out of the house, away from the women and just be myself with you Gays.

Rudy Gay:  You said a mouthful Tyson.  If it weren’t for our monthly Gay Night Out I don’t know what I’d do.  Aside from stay home with the wife and kids, look at my NBA Championships and set fire to random $100 bills.  Fag?

William Gay:  No thanks Rudy I quit smoking.  Still not sure why I took it up in the first place.  Kinda queer.  My wife suggested it was some kind of oral fixation but I sure showed her what an oral fix…Hey, that’s Gaye!

(‘What’s Going On’ plays on the jukebox)

Tyson:  That’s why I like coming here, best jukebox in three states.  Hey whatever happened to that old bar we used to go to?  They had a really good juke too.

Rudy & William, together:  Too many faggots.

(they look at each other and start laughing at having said the same thing at the same time)

Tyson:  Say what?

Rudy, composing himself:  Oh you remember; they put those two fireplaces in and got a permit to burn real wood and next thing you know they had piles of faggots stacked asshole high all over the place.

William:  You couldn’t even move without bumping into a faggot.  Came home covered in wood chips and bugs and smelling like Smoky the Bear’s prom date.

Tyson:  Hoo boy, that’s Gay!

Rudy:  No man, we’re talking about firewood.

Tyson:  Not the faggots, that Gay. (points to bar)

All three, in unison:  Gay Talese!

Gay Talese: (turns, raises glass)  Gentlemen.

William:  Oh man, Gay Talese.  That story he wrote about Frank Sinatra having a cold was what got me into literature.  Magazines anyway.  A classic of the genre.

Tyson:  And now he’s drinking in the same bar we are.  Amazing.

William:  I’m stunned; like I just ran into a Stonewall or something.

Rudy:  Another classic Gay Night Out.  Gentleman, to Gay Pride!

(they clink glasses and….FIN)

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litre_colamonty this seems strange to meLow Commander of the Super SoldiersCuntlermake it snow Recent comment authors
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litre_cola

The creativity in this is astounding. Well done.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Tony Dungey thinks this post is a distraction from our usual DFO Dick joke activities.

monty this seems strange to me

Mike Priefer thinks an island getaway would be good for these guys.

makeitsnowondem

Oh, man. Not sure how I missed this yestergay.

scotchnaut

That’s funny.

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

This is a great picture.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Creationist Cat as Banksy interviewing Shepard Fairey!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dQ5LZ6Kbro&feature=youtu.be

comment image

Wakezilla
Wakezilla

Calgary Flamers D-man, Dennis Wideman, was a very naughty boy. While skating to the bench, he got his big, throbbing stick erect and rammed the ref from behind.

Me thinks he’s about to get suspended.

https://youtu.be/nWNfGrWBMd8

litre_cola

In this here city the narrative is that it was an accident and people are freaking out that he is suspended.

Rule: No touchy the guys in stripes.

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

William: You guys seen any good movies lately?
Rudy: I liked Black Mass.
Tyson: I can’t stand Johnny Depp movies.
William: None? That’s a ballsy statement.
Rudy: There has to be something the man has done that you enjoyed.
Tyson: Nothing comes to mind, but Pirates.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons
Wakezilla

It was OK. It had its moments. Though parts of it was kinda boring

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Porky Prime
Porky Prime

What are the odds of that guy getting arrested? Oh sweet irony!

Wakezilla

He’s a power bottom

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

So.

Much.

Stupid.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Embed, damn you. The Blue Oyster demands it!

https://youtu.be/f77PLFRP3Ok

nomonkeyfun

Rudy: I love having BBC.

William: Me too, but it gets too hard sometimes…

Tyson: (interrupting) Naw man, after a long, hard BBC session, I feel so fulfilled.

William: …to think about how much new Top Gear will suck.

Doktor Zymm

comment image?zz=1

One of them is named William, and yet there’s no “We love Willie” line?

Old School Zero

You motherfucker.

I’m welding that locker door on there.

Kungjitsu
Kungjitsu

Why don’t I want to have sex with Selena Gomez? Am I gay?

SonOfSpam

1) She still sort of looks like a child
2) Probably

jjfozz

Today’s speculation on sports talk radio was about Blake Griffin and the trainer he punched out – and if they were having a lovers spat that turned into a fistfight.

So gay

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Hmmm…..

Senor Weaselo

monty this seems strange to me

If you’re trying to say something about Cuntler and me, just come out and say it.

Cuntler
Cuntler

comment image

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
ballsofsteelandfury

I love this post so much I want it to stick a finger in my ass.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Dear.

Sweet.

Jesus.

SonOfSpam

Tyson: Did you guys meet the owner?

Rudy/William: Nope

Tyson: HEY WARWICK, COME HERE A MINUTE!

Rudy: Warwick?

Tyson: He’s from Jamaica

Declan: What is it ya want mon?

Tyson: Hey, I heard you got robbed here last week – didn’t that happen before?

Declan: Already dis year dat’s the tird burglar.

SonOfSpam

Dammit. I changed from Irish to Jamaican but left “Declan” in there. Just pretend Declan’s his middle name.

SonOfSpam

Tyson: Hey guys, this is my friend Randy…he got into a weird fight once and he had to chew on the other guy’s arm, so his friends all call him “Biter”

Biter: Good to meet you guys. Damn, these chairs are uncomfortable!

Rudy: True dat. You want a pillow Biter?

jjfozz

Tyson: So this summer, I took my wife and kids to an amusement park.
Rudy: Oh, that’s great, where was it?
Tyson: Up in Pennsylvania.
Rudy: So you drove up there?
Tyson: Yup right up the highway.
Rudy: To the amusement park, so I guess you were riding on –
Tyson: The Hershey Highway, that’s correct

nomonkeyfun

Tyson: Man, I’m fucked after I retire. I don’t make all that fancy NBA/NFL money that you guys do. Guess I’ll have to go work at the Powerplant, after I retire.

Rudy: I feel you. I blow so (sound of many glasses crashing off shelf cuts drowns out next two words) men. I love it.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Hmmm….

ThePirateSloth
ThePirateSloth
Senor Weaselo

SonOfSpam

/door flies open

“Man, this place feels right!”

– Aaron Rodgers

SonOfSpam

Tyson: Did you hear about William’s anger issue last week?

William: Oh damn, not this story again…

Rudy: Dish, Tyson!

Tyson: Well, it seems William got so mad looking for the right shoes in his walk-in, he picked up a garden implement, and hit his poster of the Simpsons’ bartender so hard, it flew right onto his bedroom floor!

Rudy: William, you hoe Moe out of the closet???

SonOfSpam

William: Yeah, but I solved that problem.

Rudy: How so?

William: I put a small LED in my favorite shoes, so when I go to the closet, I can find them easily.

Tyson: You mean…

William: Light in the loafers.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Hmmm…