So. Much. Gay.

Open:  A bar, tastefully decorated.  Oh yes, there are ferns.  Conversations can be had, although one has to lean close to do so.  Three athletic looking men sit at a quiet corner table engaged in conversation.  One can’t quite make out what they’re drinking but it looks like some kind of Schmidt’s.

Tyson Gay:  Man, glad you guys could meet me here for a drink or two.  it’s good to get out of the house, away from the women and just be myself with you Gays.

Rudy Gay:  You said a mouthful Tyson.  If it weren’t for our monthly Gay Night Out I don’t know what I’d do.  Aside from stay home with the wife and kids, look at my NBA Championships and set fire to random $100 bills.  Fag?

William Gay:  No thanks Rudy I quit smoking.  Still not sure why I took it up in the first place.  Kinda queer.  My wife suggested it was some kind of oral fixation but I sure showed her what an oral fix…Hey, that’s Gaye!

(‘What’s Going On’ plays on the jukebox)

Tyson:  That’s why I like coming here, best jukebox in three states.  Hey whatever happened to that old bar we used to go to?  They had a really good juke too.

Rudy & William, together:  Too many faggots.

(they look at each other and start laughing at having said the same thing at the same time)

Tyson:  Say what?

Rudy, composing himself:  Oh you remember; they put those two fireplaces in and got a permit to burn real wood and next thing you know they had piles of faggots stacked asshole high all over the place.

William:  You couldn’t even move without bumping into a faggot.  Came home covered in wood chips and bugs and smelling like Smoky the Bear’s prom date.

Tyson:  Hoo boy, that’s Gay!

Rudy:  No man, we’re talking about firewood.

Tyson:  Not the faggots, that Gay. (points to bar)

All three, in unison:  Gay Talese!

Gay Talese: (turns, raises glass)  Gentlemen.

William:  Oh man, Gay Talese.  That story he wrote about Frank Sinatra having a cold was what got me into literature.  Magazines anyway.  A classic of the genre.

Tyson:  And now he’s drinking in the same bar we are.  Amazing.

William:  I’m stunned; like I just ran into a Stonewall or something.

Rudy:  Another classic Gay Night Out.  Gentleman, to Gay Pride!

(they clink glasses and….FIN)