Your Primary & Caucus Free Wednesday Open Thread

Super Tuesday is next week. As a Canadian, I expect all of you Americans to get out and vote multiple times, so John Scott and Kobe Bryant can emerge as the nominees, because I assume the party nomination system runs akin to All Star voting.

Well, nothing new on the Peyton front (today). Thank god. Luckily, on NFL Network, your home of unbiased, accurate coverage, it’s Combine! COMBINE!! COMBINE!11!1 Plus, “A Football Life” with Terrell Davis, and “Top 10 Draft Steals”. Really, it’s appointment television. Peyton who? #OhLookOverThere

Wanna feel old? With details announced Monday,  there’s apparently a “Ferris Fest” in Chicago the weekend of May 20-22, to mark the 30th anniversary of the movie. They’re planning a tour of all the sites featured in the movie, a Q&A with his movie parents – who married in real life after the film! – and finishing with a “Twist & Shout” parade re-creation. Three-day passes are available for $300.

Looking at what’s available tonight, here’s the only programming synopsis you need:

“Charlie Catches a Leprechaun” is the eighth episode of the eleventh season of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Dennis tries to create an innovative mobile Paddy’s pub experience but runs into trouble when customers refuse to cooperate, while Charlie and Mac attempt to catch a thieving leprechaun.

The games of interest: (all times eastern)

NHL:

  • Montreal – Washington (7:00)
  • Pittsburgh – Boston (7:30)
  • San Jose – Colorado (10:00)

NBA:

  • Timberwolves – Heat (7:30)
  • Warriors – Heat (7:30)
  • Thunder – Mavericks (8:30)
  • Spurs – Kings (10:30)

NCAA:

  • #1 Villanova – #5 Xavier (7:00)
  • #11 Louisville – Pitt (8:00)
  • #7 UNC – NC State (8:00)
  • OSU – #3 Oklahoma (9:00)
  • Wisconsin – #8 Iowa (9:00)

I hope every NC State fan has a sign asking Roy Williams how that Duke loss tasted. ONWARD & UPWARD!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Sill Bimmons

All you chili pepper and gardening lovers, prepare to lose your goddamned minds.

359 varieties of rare chili plant seeds:

http://store.puckerbuttpeppercompany.com/collections/christopher-phillips-rare-seed-collection?page=1

If you can name it, you can grow it.

entropy

I got done watching tonight’s Sunny and then Sunday’s Vinyl, and it had become eerily calm outside, so I ventured out. In shorts and a long-sleeve t-shirt. IN FUCKING FEBRUARY. And I was quite comfortable. Something is very, very wrong with the world.

Don T

Call me a heathen, but all fruit beers taste like Boone’s Farms.

Wakezilla

I am currently watching Malcolm in the Middle and it’s amazing/depressing to see just how different and how much the show dropped in quality. Season 1-3, the show is pretty fantastic and is more clever than you’d think. Season 4-7 (OK, I’m still on 6, but, I’ll assume 7 is the same) is by-the-book slapstic and zany comedy. Seasons 4-7 is also kind of racist, orientalist, homophobic and a few other things. To paraphrase Glen Howerton, “You can tell inappropriate jokes, but you better make sure it’s funny. Because if it’s not, then it’s offensive.” Malcolm in the Middle falls flat on those “risque” jokes.

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Wakezilla

Ice Broncos score two quick ones to take the lead, only for the Ice Raiders to respond to tie the game late in the game.

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Wakezilla

This has been terrible 3 on 3 hockey.

Wakezilla

Oh cool, Ice football still has games going. Ice Raiders up 2-1 against Ice Broncos

WCS

FYI:

Alison Brie is on @midnight.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Wakezilla

Oh, but when the Ice Liouns wear the flying V, it’s ugly? That’s sexist!

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b154/spyboy1/TSG%20Blog/FullFlyingV.jpg

Horatio Cornblower

Ordinarily I stay up late because of occasional bouts of insomnia. Today it’s because of the thunderstorms moving through CT with 50-60 mph winds. This is fucking scary. I do not know how midwesterners deal with this sort of shit on a near daily basis.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://49.media.tumblr.com/e6e74f2bc7006872d365ffc057d4f8ca/tumblr_o2wyfqHmyT1u8qr43o2_500.gif

Makes you respect the Japanese dealing with nuclear produced monsters.

Wakezilla

In honour of Vixen showing up on Arrow. . .(No spoilers please, I’m watching it now)

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Phrasing.

Wakezilla

Wowza. I have no idea who that is, but she seems very nice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Rose Bertram

BrettFavresColonoscopy

These Canadians understand our system better than Republicans.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Samantha Hoopes; interesting fashion choices. Not sayin’ dey bad.

http://56.media.tumblr.com/035aa0ad62c3799083798deec4877547/tumblr_o2yt3xEXlb1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Wakezilla

With a torso like that, why wear clothes covering it up?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I already hit this absolute shitfaced level. Triple shots gets you there quick

WCS

Good hustle, you haz it

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I made a promise sarcastically to get shitfaced tonight, started from drunk and down 1/3 of a 1.75 of whiskey from then (I am gonna wake up falling off the side of the bed on the floor I choose to sleep on, don’t worry [1 room over is a King sized bed, but no TV])

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Bill Walton is out of his mind on ESPN2 right now, it’s like Pierre McGuire on acid and I cannot look away.

Oh, and if I see this love has no labels commercial again I’m handing in my faggot card.

Horatio Cornblower

I can’t stand Walton. I watched 10 minutes of an NBA game just to see if his announcing partner would punch him out and those are 10 minutes I can never get back.

ballsofsteelandfury

Charlie drinking paint. Mac covered with glitter. Another scheme down the toilet.

Classic Sunny.

WCS

Re-watching right now. The commercial breaks killed the momentum for me.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I don’t know, even without having seen the ep. Charlie drinking paint seems like something he would want to do. Mac covered with glitter would be something he “hated”

Sill Bimmons

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Horatio Cornblower

If anyone needs me I’ll be down at The Rainbow looking for a pot of gold.

Alone.

Don’t take my shit while I’m gone, I called Irish Honor System.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Delayed watching Arrow and then Sunny. I was gonna say feel free to spoil it but you have been good so far.

entropy

Oh yeah. Friday night, I went to the Giants bar for a little while, and it was basically standard, mild-mannered fun, until a bunch of douchebags came in drunk as fuck and just kinda annoyed everyone. This lead me to ask my friend what the plural noun for a group of douchebags should be, sort of like a murder of crows or a rampage of rhinos.

I suggested a “smattering,” and he capped it with “a smattering of Summer’s Eve.”

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

A Lacoste of assholes.

Horatio Cornblower

“This lead me to ask my friend what the plural noun for a group of douchebags should be”

Duke

ballsofsteelandfury

Mac: Alone

WCS

A closer look at what Dennis does when no one from the Gang is around.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Sill Bimmons

Is that a Surface?

ballsofsteelandfury

Of course it is!

...

Now that Facebook allows you to do more than “like” something, it makes me wonder what the DFO emoji equivalents would be if we went beyond “This is great.”

– Alcoholic beverage
– Double alcohol beverage
– Yellow penalty flag
– Penis

I think that covers about 95% of our reactions.

ballsofsteelandfury

You forgot buttholes.

/read the survey results

entropy

Oddly, if you add arrowheads to each branch of that, it’s technically one of the many symbols for entropy. I may not have thought this screen name through entirely.

ballsofsteelandfury

Maybe your subconscious did…

entropy

We would need something to permanently represent being pantsless. Also, something something “fuck the P*atriots.” Oh, and Dok would need a “FUCK THE COWBOYS” emoji.

Sill Bimmons
...

I left off “derp face” which is really just a cartoonish Eli Manning face.

entropy

Wait. What FB really needs for us DFOers is a Bleergh Button. Click the button, the post in question is penalized 15 days into your history, and you never have to see the stupid fucking thing again.

ballsofsteelandfury

Is it like a BangBus?

Sill Bimmons

Time for IASIP

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Mitch Hedberg. Been watching clips since I was told it would have been his birthday today, not his best joke or even his best delivery of this joke. Still funny

https://youtu.be/u6xaj2fC1jI?t=177

entropy

Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing!

Redshirt

I’m pleased to say that reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

We were just hoping (Obviously kidding, missed having your around)

entropy

Welcome back, Zombie Redshirt!

ballsofsteelandfury

Wooooooo!!!

Redshirt

Thanks, but its because I’ve been sick.

It started with my 185 pound body somehow producing 300 pounds of mucus a day. I made the mistake of swallowing some of it (only because I didn’t want to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes to spit it out), which irritated my stomach. I took some medicine which resulted in a nice little side effect of chest tightness and discomfort. With my dad’s heart attack, and with me eating out 7 times a day, this concerned me slightly…until I burped and my chest felt better. I quit taking the medicine and my chest has slowly returned to normal, and I’m taking Tums like a Pez dispenser while waiting for this cursed month to end.

entropy

Your immune system is like a slinky going down a staircase to hell.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I was originally gonna add to entropys songs off the soundtrack of Deadpool. I was gonna go Shoop, but instead at the last second I switched to another Salt N Pepa song Push It. No reason other than I like it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCadcBR95oU

King Hippo

This gives my addled brain pleasure on multiple levels:

entropy

OK. My house was built with a coal storage room in the front portion of the basement (fun fact: my friends and I have called this little room the “Jon Benet Room” since any of us moved onto this block), and if the rain is hard enough and continues for a suitable duration, apparently the motherfucker floods.

Why do I bring this up now, you may ask? BECAUSE MY MOTHERFUCKING BASEMENT HAS A HALF INCH OF WATER IN IT. What am I going to do about this half-inch of water? Sweet fuck all, because there I am not breaking out the shopvac right now and there’s nothing of any import on the floor down there (hooray for building shelving last summer!). I am, however, a little annoyed about this, so I’mma crack another beer.

Sill Bimmons

That’ll close the book on the Ice Stillers.

King Hippo

That’s ok, I didn’t need to watch the Ice Footy playoffs anyway. There’s the Euros and the South American Euros.

Shogun Marcus

In honor of Mitch Hedberg (would’ve been 48 today) I wore a dry-clean only shirt. It is dirty.

entropy

At the local airport, the escalator was broken. As I walked toward it ignoring the “out of order” sign, I actually heard a woman say to her husband, “Now how the fuck do we reach the second floor?!”

I just walked past and up the stairs.

Shogun Marcus

Sorry for the convenience.

entropy

I don’t know why, but his whole riff on never seeing a situation where he would need a receipt for a donut just kills me. It’s so absurd.

Shogun Marcus

Don’t even act like I didn’t buy that donut! I have the receipt. It’s in a drawer. Marked D. For donut.

Sill Bimmons

Escalators are one of the only things that still work even when they’re broken.

Sill Bimmons

This is basically a win and we’re in game for Pitt.

It’ll be interesting to see how they blow it.

Doktor Zymm

Under “Education and Teaching Books” Amazon really thinks I would enjoy the book “POLICE STATE : Ten Secrets the Police Don’t Want You to Know!”

Doktor Zymm

This may be related to the selection they picked out for me in “Business Books”

“Narconomics : How to Run a Drug Cartel”

...

Also useful as a degree for your sham university.

Doktor Zymm

I’m pretty sure a big part of running a sham university is NOT being raided by the FBI

entropy

Someone has no idea how to run a sham university, it seems. FBI raids are half the fun.

Sill Bimmons

These pretzels are making me thirsty.

entropy

Because I watched Deadpool again today:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGx6K90TmCI

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think I promised no more than 5 Paget Brewster pics 4 pics ago. I will finish with her drunk and showing off cleavage

http://www.gifwave.com/media/403729_comedy-central-drunk-history-paget-brewster-shhh-derek-waters.gif

entropy

You may break this promise as much, and as often, as you’d like.

The Maestro

GUYS GUYS GUYS

SPACEBALLS 2 IS COMING OUT

SEE THIS SHIT RIGHT FUCKING HERE

http://www.slashfilm.com/spaceballs-2-posters/

entropy

READ THAT SHIT RIGHT THERE WHERE IT SAYS THIS IS MOST LIKELY NOT HAPPENING.

It would be AWESOME, but sadly, even the article says this is a pretty unlikely thing.

(//entropy, shitting on people’s hopes for forty years and counting)

The Maestro

Wow my reading skills are just fucking fantastic tonight apparently. Go me.

entropy

I’m sorry. I really am. I just can’t help myself some times.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Yeah I am ignoring the facts and hope it happens. They said Deadpool would never happen even after the test footage leaked and everyone loved it.

entropy

They said it’s a long shot at this point; the big difference with Deadpool is the relative youth of the cast. I don’t rule anything out (shit, they made a sequel to fucking Cloverfield), but I’m not getting excited until I read principal photgraphy has started.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve been waiting 30 years for History of The World Part 2.

THEY SAID IT WAS COMING SOON!! IT WAS RIGHT THERE IN THE MOVIE!!!

entropy

When I worked at Blockbuster, people would actually argue with me over the existence of that movie. People fucking suck.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Reply fail.

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King Hippo

I’m not the only one who kept waiting for her to fall out the window…am I??

Horatio Cornblower

There’s a window!?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

So I have nothing to do tomorrow, and already got a good buzz going. Should I continue drinking responsibly (well as much as that can ever describe me) or just absolutely shitfaced off of this tempting bottle of whiskey next to me for no reason before I watch Sunny?

The Maestro

We already know what the answer’s gonna be here.

entropy

“Yes?”

ballsofsteelandfury

Sunny this year has been hitting it out of the park. I mean, it’s really the only thing right now that I can’t wait to watch later. The only appointment television left.

entropy
WCS

My turn!

WCS

I BROKED IT

The Maestro

God dammit stop ruining this for everyone. This is exactly why you were adopted in the first place.

entropy

For fuck’s sake, Maestro, HE DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS ADOPTED.

The Maestro

Well we had to tell him at SOME point, didn’t we! Fuck, now he’s crying. God dammit kid! That’s it. I’m getting my belt.

WCS

I kind of figured it out when I realized my dad is black, my mom Native American, and I’m Puerto Rican.

entropy

Jesus. That’s like Census Bingo right there.

Doktor Zymm

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entropy

MAXIMUM EFFORT.