Oscars 2016: Best Picture and Best Open Thread

makeitsnowondem
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makeitsnowondem

make it snow is an alot of beer. He is also a Broncos fan living in Austin.
makeitsnowondem
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They’ll start handing out the awards in an hour or so, and I still have a personal Best Picture to anoint. But before I do, let’s take a moment to remember that Straight Outta Compton was not nominated, and neither was Beasts of No Nation, and neither was The Danish Girl, and neither was CarolBeasts of No Nation‘s Cary Fukunaga was not nominated for Best Director, or for Best Adapted Screenplay. Creed‘s Ryan Coogler was not nominated for Best Director. Carol‘s Todd Haynes was not nominated for Best Director. Tangerine was not nominated for anything.

The actual contenders, if you need a refresher, are:

Tooth-grindingly infuriating educomedy The Big Short

Highly competent historical drama Bridge of Spies

Homesickness simulator Brooklyn

Impeccably crafted excuse for reviewers to say “two-hour car chase” Mad Max: Fury Road

Ensemble nerd orgy The Martian

Torture porn/scenery porn/filmmaking porn/bear porn The Revenant

Shed escapeproofing tutorial Room

Boston Globe highlight reel Spotlight

And the Academy Award for Best Picture goes to…

drawingpad806a655d-c5f6-4f7d-9220-e2edb6c327da

Will Win/Should Win: Carol. You probably all saw this coming, as I’ve made no secret of the fact that I think Carol’s a first-rate work of art…

Carol‘s Not Nominated: Go fuck yourself.

No, I’m Serious, Pick A Real Nominee: God dammit. You’re the worst. Fine.

Will Win: Spotlight. I’m having a hard time with the idea of the Academy voters giving this prize to The Revenant, a beautiful and powerful movie that (EDIT: I can’t remember how I was going to complete this thought. Spotlight was good though!)

Should Win: Mad Max: Fury Road. This wasn’t an easy choice; in the last few days I’ve been going back and forth between this, Spotlight, and The Big Short. But in the end, I think we’ll all still be talking about Mad Max long after all the admittedly excellent films also nominated for Best Picture have passed entirely out of our cultural consciousness.

Upset Special: Room would be a big surprise here, but I can’t completely rule it out the way I can Brooklyn and Bridge of Spies.

So that’s that, then. I’ll leave links at the bottom to all my previous posts in case anyone wants to look back at them. Enjoy the show!

Costumes/Makeup & Hair | Sound Editing/Sound Mixing/Visual Effects | Film Editing/Production Design | Original Song/Original Score | Best Actor/Best Supporting Actor | Adapted Screenplay/Original Screenplay | Best Actress/Best Supporting Actress | Short Films | Documentary Feature/Animated Picture | Cinematography/Director | Foreign Language Film

 

makeitsnowondem
makeitsnowondem
make it snow is an alot of beer. He is also a Broncos fan living in Denver.
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Moose -The End Is Well NighUnsurprisedLothar of the Hill PeopleBeerguyrobWakezilla Recent comment authors
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Trump is like the Jordan-era Bulls. You can’t stop him, you can only hope to contain him.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Oh, goodie. The mainstream political media is retconning the obviousness of the housing bubble to attack Trump. I wonder if they’ll drag down, oh …. EVERYONE UP TO AND INCLUDING THE PRESIDENT AND FED CHAIR.

Hell no.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

This is a weird aside and it only comes up because I thought about it again reading twitter (bad idea #1) and thinking about a bunch of dumb shit I read on reddit yesterday (bad idea #2), but has anyone who bitches about participation trophies ever actually done anything to earn a participation trophy? Because kids have been getting those things since I was a kid in the 80s, and I would bet it probably started in the late 70s or early 80s. But anyway, what is so bad about these things? I think I got one back in like 1986 or 87, and you know why? To commemorate participation in a joint activity with a bunch of other people. Why is it so bad to acknowledge that someone engaged in an activity alongside their competitors and probably their teammates, and that regardless of the outcome they have a token to share as a reminder. I’m not a sentimental person. I don’t collect things. I don’t decorate my home. I don’t have physical photos of any of my family and the only photos I do have of my family are four photos of my late mother and some photos of my brother in the four times we’ve seen each other since 2006. But my point is that these whining dickheads are probably the same leeches who can’t wait to grab free swag and who decorate their own space with reminders of all of their trivial and irrelevant participation (And, really, this describes the entire purpose of and how 90% of social media is actually used) in shit. Stop shitting on kids’ being able to be kids and collect their own pile of useless life memorabilia.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

These same mouth-breathers bitch about kindergarten or preschool graduations like it’s not actually to determine that the kids actually learned something and everyone didn’t just wait a year of their lives.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Yeah, nothing off about Matt Damon being strapped to Ben Affleck. Nothing at all….

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

How the Hell is anyone taking BvS seriously?

Wakezilla

Comix are srs bizness, don’t you know. Everytime I see the trailer on TV, I can’t help but wonder why they couldn’t turn on a damn light and I wonder when they bang. Wonder Woman makes a cameo at the end to make it a threeway, thus it not being gay, right? (Not that there’s anything wrong with that)

Beerguyrob
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I just watched the second half of TWD while eating pizza. How does this show keep escalating the intensity without cracking?

Beerguyrob

By not having enough killing?!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That makes sense. Even the most violent, battle-filled episodes I’ve seen aren’t like GoT-level battles. And that makes sense from a budget perspective, but also I guess it seems to keep the tension relatable because when something worse comes along it still only affects a small band of survivors.

On the other hand, though, the whole band of TWD reminds me of the “murderous hobos” joke my friend would make in describing the typical D&D player group. They seem to leave nothing but destruction in their wake.

laserguru

Crosses off the checklist.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Thanks for making this more fun than it should have been. Night, all.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Agreed. Later.

Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!
Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!

Good night all. Crackerfest ’16 was a jewel!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I have to admit. I really, really wanted to move to L.A. and work with my brother as the legal/business side guy to his creative work. Because at the very least, the office view would be awesome.

comment image

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The real Best Picture winner: DTZM for getting imgur to finally embed.

Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!
Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!

I’m still waiting for the Rudy Ray Moore Lifetime Achievement Award

Beerguyrob

+ Dolomite

Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!
Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!

What, The Fat Boys weren’t available?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Nope. Two are dead. Or maybe all three. Can’t remember.

Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!
Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!

I guess Young MC had better shit to do.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Too many Miami yacht parties for techbros.

Gratliff

Oscars closing to Public Enemy because their sound guy’s black friend is his iTunes playlist.

Gratliff

Are they really closing the show to “Fight the Power?” Do they think this counts as black people?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It’s like George W. Bush having “Fortunate Son” on his iPod.

Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!
Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!

Or AC Green having “I Touch Myself”

Beerguyrob

I’m not sure what was more talky tonight – the Oscars or The Walking Dead?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I don’t get TWD, but at least what I’ve seen was way better than Fear TWD, which is entirely comprised of characters who deserve to die.

Wakezilla

Oh lordy, I can tell already they’re going to make us suffer multiple slow shows with talks of trading crops for protection only for Negan and violence to show up at the finale in like 6 weeks.

Col. Duke LaCross

Public Enemy! Fuck yeah!

WCS

Ron Paul was listed as a producer. There’s your problem right there.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I love all the people on Twitter referring to it as “The Room” instead of “Room” because English is fucking weird.

Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!
Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!

Darren Sharper’s in his cell thinking he should have gotten a tiger costume.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What the fuck? Chris Rock is holding a Thin Mints box and handing out Trefoils!

Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!
Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!

“Not the first time a Brownie’s handed out cookies”

Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Gratliff

Catholic Church gonna take that acceptance speech to heart, and double down on “Girls Scouts are all whores.”

Beerguyrob

Morgan Freeman holding the card to show people he didn’t just Jack Palance the announcement.

Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!
Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!

“I’m now organizing a program at the San Diego Zoo for longtime non-Oscar winners to be sodomized by animal so they can an award. Cranston gets the rhino.”

Gratliff

I literally don’t know what most of these movies are

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Makeitsnow right again. Seriously, who did you chloroform at PWC?

Horatio Cornblower

Spotlight wins the Oscar for Best Picture! Way to come from behind! Which coincidentally is pretty much what Spotlight is about.

Good night everyone!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Banner quote

WCS

YEAH BATMAN MONTOUR HIGH SCHOOL REPRESENT

Beerguyrob

C’mon meteor!

ssi_bulldawg
ssi_bulldawg

Come on Fury Road

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Oh, come on. Roadside handjobs aren’t that expensive.

ssi_bulldawg
ssi_bulldawg

The indigenous people of the World…. So, all of us?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anyone who has ever written “first” in a comment section?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Does that mean who can round them up and abandon them on reservations?

Horatio Cornblower

Oh sweet Jesus the red state reaction to this speech is going to be fucking priceless.

Senor Weaselo

THE TAEKS, THEIR A-COMIN’.

WCS

DAM LIBTARD DEECAPRIO STOP MAKING THIS BOUT A THEEORY #TCOT #CRUZCRUZ #REELMURICKA #CHIRSTIANCONSERVATIVE

Beerguyrob

Finally Leo wins. I bet Alan Thicke and Kirk Cameron are so proud.

Gratliff

Tom Hardy, a man so recognizable that I thought it was Jeremy Renner in that mask until I actually watched the movie.

Horatio Cornblower

Tom Hardy’s great and all but I need to know a lot more about the woman sitting next to him.

Gratliff

Heisenberg should just walk up and put two in the back of his head

Horatio Cornblower

Congrats on the Oscar Leo; comes with a trip to Belieze.

Senor Weaselo

Well, there goes all our jokes.

Horatio Cornblower

Make a bear rape joke Leo. You know you want to.

Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!
Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!

“I mean usually you have to go to West Hollywood if you want a bear to take you from behind, am I right?!!?!”

Beerguyrob

Aaron Rodgers is RIGHT THERE! Do it!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Great, the Susan Lucci jokes can fucking end.

Gratliff

Boooooooooooooooooo

WCS

Settles that, I guess.

Horatio Cornblower

Apparently you can’t hate Dalton Trumbo for being a combo but you can hate him for being a shitty parent. Good to know.

Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!
Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!

To the person asking if they’ve thawed Nicholson’s corpse yet, they also have to thaw the 24 year old he’s tit-fucking first.

Shogun Marcus

That’d be me. And god bless him for it.

Gratliff

For the love of god, Give Walter the Oscar

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who makes the first rape joke on Twitter if Leo loses?

Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!
Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!

Not Darren Sharper

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

He said joke, not who’d make the first actual rape.

Gratliff

Song about banging an old chick, “Julian Moore, everybody!”

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Is she older than 25? Then fuck her.

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