Oh yeah, it’s March 1st! Super Tuesday!! Time to rock out with your caucus out!!!

Eleven states with 25% of the available delegates are choosing their party’s nominee tonight. If you live in one of those states, you might as well give up on network television, because that shit’s getting preempted. That means unless you DVR’d “The Walking Dead“, or the return of Spike’s “Tattoo Tuesday” inks your sleeve, sports will be the only escape from tonight’s non-stop onslaught of farts, facts & factoids sure to hit the broadcast airwaves starting aboot 8:00 EST. If Peter King was a political reporter, or even just a competent journalist, you know he’d be camped out in Wichita Falls hunting for nuggets.

Escape with me into the world of sports. The games of note: (all times Eastern)

NHL:
–   Penguins at Capitals – 7:30
–   Stars at Predators – 8:00
–   Islanders at Canucks – 10:00
NBA:
–   Bulls vs Heat – 7:30
–   Hawks vs Warriors – 10:30
NCAA:
–   #4 Virginia at Clemson – 7:00
–   #19 Baylor at #6 Oklahoma – 8:00
–   #12 Indiana at #16 Iowa – 9:00
–   Fuck Duke

Your project for this evening, should you choose to accept it, is to post your favourite political rants & comedy bits below, along with a brief explanation about why they are such. The jukebox open threads have shown the DFO Commentists to be nicely varied in terms of musical tastes, so we should also figure out what else warps shapes our perspectives.

When I was a kid, in the 1970s, I’d sign Bill Cosby records out of the library and listen to them at home on repeat. Growing up Bible-camp Christian, it was what I was allowed because he was considered a “good man”, and Richard Pryor & Steve Martin were “drug fiends”. Oops. In my teenaged years, it was Dennis Miller (on “Weekend Update”) and Sam Kinison, because they told the same joke from different extremes. Today, I quite enjoy Lewis Black, because – like Dennis Miller – his jokes are well-crafted treatises, and – like Sam Kinison – his energy gives them an immediacy. Plus, like me, he’s full of self-loathing and hates almost everything.

Oh, and Ron Funches just makes me giggle.

You have your assignment. WORK FOR MY LOVE!