Your “Why Would You Do It?” Thursday Open Thread

Somehow, at the bottom of a particularly strange rabbit hole this morning, I found this in my browser:

WIP-FM IS SEEKING A PART-TIME ANNOUNCER

Go on…

Candidates must have at least 3 years radio experience and success in a medium to large market, or equivalent experience in a related sports profession.

I’ve sold beer at sporting events for 23 years. I think that makes me overqualified. But – please continue.

Must exude personality and not be afraid to have strong opinions as well as possess the ability to entertain in person.

I’ve got all the moves!

Exude…like an odour? Of cheesesteak? Of disappointment? Clearly, not of success. What else?

This unique individual should possess a strong radio background and have an interest in sports, and be prepared to handle the most passionate sports fans in the world.

The most passionate sports fans in the world” But not The Best Fans In Baseball?

What type of peasant must I converse with? Surely they’re not hooligans?! Way to put that dress on the pig.

But now that I see it…

There’s so much that could be said about the masochist that would apply for such an opening.  The burnout rate for these new hires must be about Week 2 of the Eagles season, due to all the ‘interaction’. No wonder they advertise at the start of baseball season – it’s so they can sucker people in with the relative passivity of Phillies fans and the absence of Sixers playoffs. Those batteries are only going to get larger and more plentiful through the summer. Best to get that Faustian contract signed now.


Or worse.

The NFL has decided to keep its May owners meeting in North Carolina. It makes sense, given their aggressive stance on concussions and cheerleader hygiene. If you don’t care about your own employees, then why bother worrying about random strangers? It doesn’t take much for Jerry Richardson to go from giving 3/5ths of a shit to none whatsoever. Someone better make sure Mark Davis knows where to go because my guess is that, without direction, he’ll piss in the plant pots.

Going from out of his mind to simply out of options:

“I commend Marvin’s achievements,” Bengals owner Mike Brown said last month. “He’s done remarkably well with our football team here, in recent years especially. I respect him. I like him personally. He’s going to be our coach this year. That’s in the bank. Where it goes, we’ll see how it plays out.” (si.com)

Just who in the hell does Mike Brown think he could get to come in and coach that mess? The guys who keep Pacman out of the strip club buffets have a better chance of controlling that team. Anyway, I guess we’ll find out in January 2017, when the 10:35 from San Francisco arrives.


Well, that’s enough of that – it looks like the midnight train has arrived. UNLOAD THE GAMES!

Flyers troll ‘Walking Dead’ star Red Wings fan Steven Yeun

NHL: (13 games total)

  • Red Wings @ Bruins – 7:00
  • Islanders @ Rangers – 7:00
  • Penguins @ Capitals – 7:00
  • Blues @ Blackhawks – 8:30
  • Ducks @ Kings – 10:30

NCAA Hockey: the Frozen Four! Semi-final action from Tampa Bay!

  • Boston College vs Quinnipiac – 5:30
  • Denver vs North Dakota – 8:30

NBA: (5 games total)

  • Raptors @ Hawks – 8:00
  • Spurs @ Warriors – 10:30

RIP Merle Haggard. Only Willie Nelson is left – THE ONE WHO SMOKED THE MOST WEED WON!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus

(time for zzzzzz’s so this is it)
Green Day – Scattered
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaDMmA2sTQU&nohtml5

JerBear50

Night

Senor Weaselo

Hi everybody!

…Did I miss anything?

JerBear50

Yeah Right’s knee hates him. That’s about it so far.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Orioles are 3-0 and in sole possession of 1st place.
You are now all caught up. Nothing else matters.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Covalent Blonde

Ugh. Too tire to handle the mixed emotions of a Warriors wind and a Sharks loss.

Good night, my lovely little chickadees!

SonOfSpam

1) Kings beat Ducks WOOHOO GO KINGS GO
2) Angels walk off in 9th thanks to Poo-Holes WOOHOO WIN #1
3) My wife’s boss said the word “agreeance” in a meeting and she had to seethe silently
4) Ernie Els golfs just like me! (Like for one hole only)

Solid day, everyone. Go swat yourselves on the ass, hard, and get a fuckin sandwich.

Covalent Blonde

Ahem–no mention of the Sharks blowing a huge lead in the first period only to lose, per usual, to Winnipeg, I see. Good call. I would hate for people to nervously check in on me and my access to razor blades and my wrists.

SonOfSpam

Inefficient power play characterized by rhythmic snapping.

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Covalent Blonde

One day our dance skills will be seen as the Cup-winning choreography that it deserves to be!
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/907/778/d39.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

We need music.
Green Day – Castaway
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQ5I5WrHkpk

JerBear50

I went to watch the Tuesday night game. They looked damn good. Sound was off so I never quite figured out why the Angel’s pitcher started spraying blood out of his nose though.

WCS

As in, like, HIV positive?

laserguru

So guess I’m looking at getting my “good” knee repaired.

I’m 14 months into an 18-ish month rehab on my right knee and I may have blown up lefty.
Motherfucker.

DR. appointment at 10 in the morning.

I need to lash out.

If I was doing a request line I would be asking for thrash metal.

And getting another beer.
Sunuvabitch.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dedicated to your knee….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RLDZaWN8b4

JerBear50

That fucking sucks man. In honor of whichever -CL it is.

https://youtu.be/VV1XWJN3nJo

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hahahahahaha……I want to say that’s horrible. But too funny.

JerBear50

Thanks. At least I didn’t completely swing and miss.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not at all. Plus, she’s really hot and I like that song.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
laserguru

Shit, If I have to do it myself…

Croooow

Warriors just picked up Win #70. Record still in play. Good to see them rebound.

Covalent Blonde

Things look promising for the what I can assume will be the next several meetings between the spurs and Warriors. At least that is what I tell myself to sleep at night.

Croooow

I will be very disappointed if the WCF isn’t Spurs vs. Warriors.

Covalent Blonde

If it isn’t I am very curious to see what catastrophic fuck ups occurred along the way to disrupt that plan, that’s for sure!

Covalent Blonde

Aww yuss! Let’s go Warriors!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Commies. But admittedly….kinda cute Commies.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

47 North Koreans starved to death to bring The Great One these flowers.

WCS

On Masters Thursday, with a dog in the vet hospital, the above-average work BS, wifey having to get some kind of nursing re-certification, a thriller of an Ice Stillers game, and Archer, I still managed to fall down on a well of a Resident Evil wikihole (giggity), and found an RPD cop named George Scott.

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/3207513/george-c-scott-football-o.gif

The circle is now complete.

theeWeeBabySeamus

What’s up w/ doggy mcDogface? email me.

Covalent Blonde

Yikes, sorry to hear it. Sounds like all you are missing are Yeah Right’s knees. I hope all is on the mend with the pup.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Guns n Roses reunion not looking so good now, is it?

Wakezilla

Watching Legends of Tomorrow right now. Holy shit, this episode is dragging.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Let go of me head you marsupial asshole!!!!! I’m a dog!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

I think I know that girl.

JerBear50

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow. Like….seriously, wow.
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Covalent Blonde

What a darling!

JerBear50

I saw Gaslight for the first time a few years ago and was rather surprised.

JerBear50
Covalent Blonde

I don’t know. Angela Lansbury is looking pretty good i that picture

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, but she plays bass left handed. No respect.

JerBear50

Agreed, but Paul was a good looking guy at one time too.

Senor Weaselo

Holy shit, Craig Ferguson?

JerBear50

Of course. I miss the shit out of that show.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Covalent Blonde

I want one of those for myself!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Wakezilla

Great googily moogily. What’s her name?

Covalent Blonde

I hate to admit this, but the Samsung “In the dark…” commercial is kind of charming.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Silllllll….where are youuuuu??????
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Hahahaha….I’m a sick fuck to think that’s so funny. Meh…it is what it is.

Covalent Blonde

Meh, I guess a backhand to Curry’s groin is a foul. Who knew?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Chris Paul?
Just playing the odds.

WCS

My bet is on Pops. He’s an AF Vietnam vet. He’s never given a fuck.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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WCS

Pantera: The Early Years

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

Whoa, where’d you get photos of my cousin Jim from?

Covalent Blonde

I wish I looked that good in jorts.

Covalent Blonde

1) Does Shaq have marbles in his mouth?
2) Did Shaq just ask if GSW were missing shots due to voodoo?

JerBear50
Unsurprised

1) At least that was be acceptable. He’s hust a dumb fuck.

2) Probably

Unsurprised

Fuck you, iPhone.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Thanks Apple. Here’s another link if that doesn’t work. http://www.imagebam.com/image/79addf476524349

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m sad that Sill isn’t here right now.

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus

You’re doing it wrong. But that is sooooo not a problem, keep doing it that way.
http://www.pic-sexy.com/media/uploads/hot-girls-hula-hooping-28-gifs/hula_hoop_girl_14.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Covalent Blonde

Is sitting now brought to me by Corona?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Has been for a while.

theeWeeBabySeamus

For RTD as a reward for his totally not homoerotic workout earlier today (wink wink).
http://cdn.rsvlts.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/sexy_gifs_of_girls_getting_healthy_30.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unsurprised

How dare you impugn the good name of Cotton Hill by comparing him to walking penis John McCain.

JerBear50

Peggy Hill on her worst day is far, far more coherent.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry Dok…me and my testosterone gotta side with the guys. This is way betterer. Begone gay thoughts….
http://www.animateit.net/data/media/june2010/ja-5c.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO…it’s got a hook on the end. I want that!!!!!!!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Gives a whole new meaning to “lift at the waist.”

Doktor Zymm

It’s all good, Internet has something for everyone!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Everyone.

Covalent Blonde

Rule 34

Beastmode Ate My Baby

FINALLY! Getting over the cold I’ve had this week. Fortunately, vodka seems to help.

Unsurprised

Whiskey is better.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Whiskey and BAMB’s stomach don’t get along, so no.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Noooooo….no dark liquors when sick.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oddly enough I remember some people’s drinking preferences more easily than team alliances.

Unsurprised

Oh. That sucks.

Sill Bimmons

Whiskey contains congeners.

Better to stick with the voddy if you’ve been under the weather.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congener_%28alcohol%29

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Whiskey’s aged…I have to stick with distilled, unfortunately.

JerBear50

Just completed my latest batch of limoncello which would probably go well with some hot tea. Still needs another couple weeks to come together fully though.

Doktor Zymm

One time I dissolved some salt in Everclear, heated it up, and tried to drink it with the theory that it would just scorch all the bacteria in my throat to death. Don’t do that.

Sill Bimmons

Wow.

That was a spectacularly bad idea.

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Unsurprised

But did the burning distract you from the scratching and phlegm?

Doktor Zymm

I didn’t actually manage to drink any of it. When it got within a few inches of my face, the fumes made my eyes and nose start to water copiously and I immediately realized the flaw in my illness-induced attempt at logic.

JerBear50

By far the worst hangovers I’ve ever had involved everclear. Looking back on it, that probably shouldn’t have been surprising.

Unsurprised

Hmm. I bet it would’ve worked, but in the same way drinking bleach would work.

Unsurprised

Some woman just walked in who looks like a local news reporter and she has legs that go all the way up. Good day.

Doktor Zymm

That’s good. It would be awkward if they stopped half way.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not to mention very unstable for overall support of the torso.

Unsurprised

Nice … Nice … OHMYGODWHATTHEFUCK

Sill Bimmons

Then she’d be Cotton Hill.

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Unsurprised

She could kill fitty men with her looks.

laserguru

I’m used to it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Well honey, I’m really glad we finally met the neighbors. They certainly have nothing to hide.”

http://36.media.tumblr.com/477e7e4ebed460bd76bf175194960bb7/tumblr_nvkjqx7gAV1rojphdo1_1280.jpg

Unsurprised

The nudist episode of Family Guy was during the last good season and was so funny.

Sill Bimmons

Mario Lemieux scored as many shorthanded goals (13) in 1988-9 as the top 31 players have scored this season.

http://25stanley.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/3rd-rd-of-the-playoffs-May-23-Imgur.gif

WCS

he good

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, I love my dog, but I have to admit; SHE IS NO DAMN GOOD AT TEH SUMO!

http://49.media.tumblr.com/97a4f86ecc8742a2e615010c35509382/tumblr_ngda652npc1tinozao1_400.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah…she kinda sucks at it. At least bite that fucker.

Unsurprised

I just saw someone walking his Shiba and seriously considered punching him and taking the dog. But my building doesn’t allow pets.

Unsurprised

Bar exam results come out tomorrow. Pray for Unsurprised.

JerBear50

Want to support a fellow Commentist, but conflicted by hoping for another lawyer.

Horatio Cornblower

Go for the D!

Boom! Phrasing!

Seriously, best of luck.

Don T

Dear Hermes:
Please allow this servant as your conduit for your deceiving arts. In half-truths and syllogisms, now plus the three extra days for service plus intervening holidays, Amen.

Unsurprised

Amen.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK Dok, I guess this has to be the last one since everyone seems to want boobies (damn homophobes….it’s not gay to appreciate the beauty of a man’s body and…OK, I need to stop).
http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n151/hagemangroup/maledancers13bv.gif

Doktor Zymm

That is really weirdly entrancing. It almost generates its own music…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Speaking only for myself, a confirmed hetero male….it IS oddly mesmerizing.

Unsurprised

It’s hypnotic. Like a lava lamp.