I don’t believe there’s a person in North America – nay; the world – that feels any sympathy for Gary Bettman. But it does suck that, on the opening night of the NHL’s two-month journey towards winning the best trophy in sports (come at me!), the vast majority of interest is focused on basketball LA and Oakland. At least the league was helped by the Kings finishing ahead of the Sharks, so they didn’t try something stupid like having San Jose play tonight before a half-empty Tank.

Speaking of dancing around, Lynn Swann was named the new USC athletic director today. I’m sure George Atkinson can be found for a word or two about that. Maybe it’s me, but after the 1972 Dolphins, the group of old men I also don’t need to hear from are the 1970s Raiders. If they were that damn good or tough, they could give me the finger and show me a second ring. None of those windbags they show on NFL Network were around in January 1981, when Jim Plunkett showed Jaws how to play in the big game.

In the first hint of the upcoming adpocalypse, the NBA is voting this week on allowing jersey advertising, which would become effective for the 2017/18 season. The union strike about revenue sharing would follow soon after, I imagine. It might be enough to drag Peyton and Brett out of retirement in 2020 when it comes to the NFL.

While we’re on the subject of the NBA, don’t expect me to participate in the hagiography around Kobe Bryant. Good player; awful person. The pregame ceremony will probably make me vomit. Besides, I’ll be rooting for the Blues about that time.

Before I go, have fun doing math over the weekend! Luckily, Big Daddy Drew has some tax pointers for you over at Deadspin.

Tonight’s entertainment:

NHL Playoffs:

• Detroit @ Tampa Bay – 7:00
• NY Rangers @ Pittsburgh – 8:00
• Chicago @ St. Louis – 9:30

NBA: (14 games total)

• Kings @ Rockets – 8:00 (if Houston loses, then Utah is win & in)
• Jazz @ Lakers – 10:30
• Grizzlies @ Warriors – 10:30

Finally, if you recall, last week I mentioned that I was going to see Iron Maiden on Sunday night. Loud? YOU BET! A limited edition tour shirt that sold out in 5 minutes? NATURALLY! Fifteen songs like usual? OF COURSE! But a nice mix of old & new:

1. If Eternity Should Fail
2. Speed of Light
3. Children of the Damned
4. Tears of a Clown
5. The Red and the Black
6. The Trooper
7. Powerslave
8. Death or Glory
9. The Book of Souls
10. Hallowed Be Thy Name
11. Fear of the Dark
12. Iron Maiden

Encore:

1. The Number of the Beast
2. Blood Brothers
3. Wasted Years

Here’s “The Trooper”

VANCOUVER DID SCREAM FOR YOU, BRUCE!