Your “It’s Tuesday. Whoop-De-Facking-Do!” Tuesday Night Open Thread

“Fury” isn’t that good a movie. I have some Canadian “Premium” channels so I’ve been able to watch the last 45 minutes and then immediately watch the movie from the beginning. Shitty movies use “rhyming techniques” over and over and over again. It’s a tried-and-true method that creates emotional resonance in the viewer. Where was I? Answer: Way off course.

NBA-wise, BOS/ATL and MEM/SA are the games to eyeball.

In the league that is so much more exciting, TB/DET, PIT/NYR, ANA/NASH and STL/CHI are on tap and on ice.

In other news, JJ Watt worked out today and is pretending to be not-dying to tell you about it. And now…LET YOUR FINGERS DO THE WALKING!

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Redshirt

I’m warning everyone know, if Trump or Cruz somehow pulls this off, I’m going to be posting this GIF everyday until the bombs fall:

comment image

Redshirt
...

I once sent that gif in an email to coworkers.

And no, I didn’t get fired!

Spur

The Spurs game can’t start soon enough.

bourb0nblues

shhh.. Old Man Duncan is trying to finish his nap.

King Hippo

Yadier Molina just hit a TRIPLE

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sheesh…did the ball do under the wall or something?

King Hippo

pretty close (see below)

...

That was more on Fucking A’ Jorge being the shitty fielder he’s wont to be.

Doktor Zymm

I’ve read that! I recall it being enjoyable, and I may have purchased more books by the same author.

Sill Bimmons
Spur

Blow jobs for everyone at Clinton HQ

herodotus450

Puck don’t lie.

Spur

I am now projecting Trump to win NY. I’m the first one to do so.

Spur

WTF????????????Ted Cruz a few minutes ago
“America has always been at her best when she’s lying down with her back on the mat.”

SonOfSpam

“I want America to take it slowly, relaxed and luxuriant, until we’re finished freedom-cumming. Then we shall share a can of delicious soup.”

Wakezilla

I’d use phrasing, but, Ted Cruz is clearly asexual and wouldn’t get it

JustStopDude

Um…I take it more to me he is accidentally losing control in public and voicing his violent sexual fantasies.

Maybe as the convention gets closer, we will see escalating behavior…increasing to straight up bondage and torture.

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Hey laugh all you want but the poisoned vagina defense is how we won the Mexican-American War.

Redshirt

I was just joking that he had the face of a child molester. Cruz may have just confirmed it!

The Maestro

Holy shit really?

You’re not fucking with us?

The Maestro

Sweet Jesus.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“And then Mexican Ted Bundy tries to strangle her, and she’s like, ‘OMG GTFO’ and kicks his ass!”

Sill Bimmons

I seriously don’t understand how everyone here can speak about their professional lives until their tongues fall out, and then when I attempt to correct false information about my profession I’m ignored.

And it’s not a matter of lack of professional courtesy, it’s a LACK OF FUCKING PROFESSIONALISM REGARDING BIOLOGY AND MEDICINE

I’m truly sick to death of this.

None of you know fuck all about biology or medicine, and few of you ever will.

Yet almost my ENTIRE CAREER has been fought against Christians and others of WILDLY differing understandings of biology and medicine fighting to the death against my knowledge of those sciences.

I don’t disagree with ANY of your professional findings.

Yet you continually disagree with mine.

Somehow I find this distasteful.

C’est la guerre!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sill…I have 6 years post graduate training in Veterinary Medicine and advanced diagnostics and surgery.

I’ve been on your side until you just could not let this go. You think JSD was in error. I agree. He offered his mea culpa to you and you told him to fuck off.

This is on you now.

Sill Bimmons

Is it?

Who is being disinformative and offering counter-argument other than CYNICISM?

I tried to let it go and it wasn’t.

Please review the discussion.

Oh, wait. I’m a biologist. My opinion is shit.

JustStopDude

Sill…where did I ever show any disdain for you or your profession? I never questioned your experience. I never meant for anything to be taken as an offense.

My whole point was that often times when these meme things take off is that there is often things left out. THAT’S IT. Nothing about you being a biologist. Nothing about your experience. Nothing about your professionalism.

You can call me a dick, asshole, engineer, gimp, whatever the fuck. I don’t care because I don’t take it personally. The whole point of this website is to share stupid jokes, insane gifs, and boobies…not have these long rambling pointless internet arguments.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Nice comment, gimp!

Sill Bimmons

Gimp it is, then.

Sill Bimmons

Best of luck in your apologetics career.

Sill Bimmons

I HAVE FIFTEEN YEARS IN PLANNING SURGERY ON HUMAN BRAINS WHAT THE FUCK COULD YOU POSSIBLY TEACH ME

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sill…I honestly don’t know what tonight’s malfunction is. I’m not trying to teach you anything academically speaking. I’m trying to reach out to you to make you see that you are taking something VERY personally which I don’t think you should be.

I like you, and I don’t want to see this happen. You are too good of a guy.

My perception is that nothing which has been said was meant personally towards you, or as a denigration professionally.

Not apologetics.

Sill Bimmons

it’s apologetics against my entire career.

You fuck with the human brain, I fuck with you.

I’ve forgotten more about the human brain than all of you together have ever learned about the human brain.

I don’t even care anymore.

You’ll all be dead when true neuroscience is accepted.

Redshirt

I want to say something, but I’m just work in a production factory. I’m not that important enough to refute anyone’s actions. I’m just the guy that gets blamed.

SonOfSpam

YOU broke this thread, asshole. Report to personnel immediately.

Sill Bimmons

Would you allow ignorant idiots to fuck with your profession?

Spur

Hi Kayleigh Mcenany

King Hippo

My Caribou Coffee 6-pack Keurig cups were like $12 more expensive on Amazon Prime last week, but I waited until I only had like 5 days’ supply left (that’s anxiety producing for me) and BOOM, today the price was normal again.

These small white people victories that keep me going in life.

bourb0nblues

Bonus points if you used a gift card!

...

Seriously, I haven’t purchased anything off Amazon this year without a gift card. I can buy them and get 5% back on one my credit cards, which is way better than the 1% I’d get making a straight purchase.

King Hippo

You fucking know it! That gets me double gasoline points at Kroger.

Spur

When did you come to the stark conclusion that most humans are pathetic and/or stupid as fuck? I was around 24.

King Hippo

Jeebus, how stupid are YOU?? 😀

/was maybe 7 or 8

King Hippo

I think I realized that I was just a complete piece of shit about the same time as I started to get the humanity stupidity thingy.

In fairness, I didn’t fully appreciate my own inner “Trailer Park Boys Ricky” brain until later.

Sill Bimmons

12.

JustStopDude

14.

I was arrested for failure to provide ID, loitering in a known drug corridor, and resisting arrest.

I was sitting on my parents’ stoop, waiting for my mom to come home from work to let my younger brother and I in.

herodotus450

Detroit fans do not know how to use the sing-song opposing-goalie’s-name-chant. Which is surprising because it’s been used so many times against them.

...

I’m 100% convinced the following scene will take place between the Doktor and her new fan:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=micc3QcezJM

Doktor Zymm

It’s okay, I keep a spare remote for controlling the robots of the world in my not-smart sock drawer.

...

Even so, I can still imagine the part where you’re trying to pull down the bra from one of the blades.

Doktor Zymm

I would get a stick and flick it off. Don’t want to pull in case I fuck up the balance.

The Maestro

Man, the Red Wings are a mess. Still don’t know how they’re keeping it close in this game.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I’m shocked it’s even this close for Bernie in NY.

herodotus450

Jesus, these CBC commentators are fucking awful. You’d think being Canadian would give them a natural advantage but I guess it’s outweighed by the shitty announcer gene.

The Maestro

Rogers has torpedoed the product. Ratings are down by like 60% here. George Stroumbolopolous is doing a shit job as host, and having dipshits like Nick Kypreos, Glenn Healy & Damien Cox doing analysis is not helping matters either.

herodotus450

play-by-play guy sounds like he’s looking down at a roster to look up half the names. And I think he forgot the word crease for a second and said “blue ice area in front of the net.”

Wakezilla

Bob Cole used to be pretty amazing, but then he had a stroke or something about 15+years ago. CBC and sportsnet don’t have the balls to fire him because Canadians are dumb and would riot, despite the fact he doesn’t know Kessel from Kesler or Sedin from Sundin.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Jeff Marek said CBC was always dickish in dealing with HNIC because they just used it as a money grab for other products, and had an attitude of, “Well, we’re CBC we will never lose this.”

The ratings are down but lots of employees who have been there a while say it’s a just FU to how CBC treated them over the years.

Wakezilla

Don’t forget Elliot Bottom lip Freidman acting like a smug asshole

King Hippo

Ice Stiller PP goal?? That’s unpossible!

Spur

This election is the natural result of a population that has consumed too much lead.

Doktor Zymm

Mmmm, wall candy

...

Pb&J

Redshirt

So if Donald Trump wins New York, the Empire State Building will turn blue.
If Ted Cruz wins New York, the Empire State Building will turn coral.
If John Kasich wins New York, Emma Stone, Alison Brie and Anne Hathaway will break down my door, rip of my clothes and ravish me sexually because I am obviously dreaming.

JustStopDude

I got a theory that Kasich is just running this campaign to wash dirty money…

...

Not a bad theory. I think he believes he’s a decent consensus candidate at a contested convention. It’s also funny how few people realize what a spectacular prick he is.

JustStopDude

I’m waiting for Hep C and HIV cases to explode in Ohio.

What he is did to public health in the state is practically criminal.

...

It’a amazing how he’s not been criticized on his record and his demeanor. He’d so easily lose it in a debate with Hillary.

Wakezilla

FWIW, Kasich has been rumored to be the one who will backdoor Trump because apparently he always beats Hillary in head-to-head polls. But he always loses to Sanders in these polls, so, stay tuned.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I mean I’ll do the last one regardless of who wins!

Doktor Zymm

THE BEST CEILING FAN EVER!!
It costs less than $10 to operate over a lifetime of use because it’s mad efficient! Also, it moves a huge amount of air, and has the best cubic foot of airflow/kWh on the market! Also, it’s a smart fan that you can program, or have activated by a motion sensor when you enter the room! It has a mode for winter than pulls warm air down from the ceiling! Also a sleep mode! It’s how I spent my tax refund!

King Hippo

IT’S THERMODYNAMICALLY CORRECT!!

SonOfSpam

THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT CEILING FAN EFFICIENCY?

Doktor Zymm

I’m taking credit for the hard work of the people at Energy Star

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Freakin’ half-Ukrainians taking credit for good American jobs.

BUILD THE WALL

...

While I don’t share your enthusiasm for smart house appliances, I have to say I enjoy it.

Full disclosure, I do miss having a ceiling fan and think I’d really enjoy the one you bought.

Doktor Zymm

I’m almost afraid of how awesome it is, since I’ll probably end up wanting one for my bedroom as well, and I can’t be spending all my cash on ceiling fans every day.

...

Take solace in knowing you only have so much ceiling space that can be fanned.

Spur

Fun Fact: None of the current candidates for the Republican nomination will end up being the Republican nominee, after the convention.

Sill Bimmons

Say “Hello!” to Paul Ryan 2016!

...

Part of me is convinced that Paul Ryan is the most masterful manipulator of all time and he staged all of this to allow his unimpeded ascent to absolute power.

JustStopDude

I put my money on Oven Mitt Romney or hard body Paul Ryan sneaking in through the contested convention.

For Oven Mitts…Its a pay cut and I’m not sure he would want to deal with this shit again.

For Paulie, being the MC of the three ring circus that is the House…perhaps a fail presidential run would get him a viable out without killing his career.

Doktor Zymm

Talking Ronald Reagan doll.

...

I’d have gone with Ronald Reagan corpse.

Spur

“Mr. Gorbachev, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL.” ad nauseum

JustStopDude

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lV5YDPiCKJo

I like Lewis Black’s idea of a Ronald Reagan’s corpse.

Redshirt

If The Rock is still a Republican, I’d try to talk him into running for President.

Doktor Zymm

Hi guys! What did I miss?
*scrolls down*
.
.
.
Oh. I guess you probably don’t want to hear about my awesome new ceiling fan.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh god yes….PLEASE!!!!!!!

Sill Bimmons

I’d LOVE to hear about your awesome new ceiling fan!

SonOfSpam

Did you get the ceiling fan in a gift bag at a birthday party?

bourb0nblues

My ceiling fan story – there’s a store nearby that claims it has the largest selection of ceiling fans and overhead lighting IN THE COUNTRY. Sure, fine, whatever. I doubt any of this can be verified, but I’ll gladly come and check out your inventory (not a euphemism). Impressive selection? You bet! BUT WAIT!! What’s this? You’re also selling a tour bus? You gotta be kidding me. A TOUR BUS!

I bet it’s still there… waiting for me to purchase it.

Doktor Zymm

But does the tour bus have a ceiling fan in it?!

bourb0nblues

No, but I think Whitesnake was still living in.

Wakezilla

Ceiling fans are amazeballs. Did you get a Fanimation FPD8148OB Odyn LED Ceiling Fan?

Doktor Zymm

I got a Haiku. I hearts it.

Sill Bimmons

If you hadn’t been such an idiot none of this would have been necessary.

comment image

Oh, I need to stop a gas leak?

WHOMEVER WILL I CALL

SonOfSpam

I would imagine a gastroenterologist.

JustStopDude

Sill…what do you want me to do to calm you down?

Sill Bimmons

Stop thinking that you know everything about everything like every other idiot engineer who thinks that a tornado through a junkyard could create an airplane, let alone a human being.

Unsurprised

I hate everything.

King Hippo

This is always a good comment to make for almost any situation. ME TOO!

Sill Bimmons

How is it that any of you think that you know something about biology or medicine without a moment’s graduate training?

YOU ARE ALL TOTAL FUCKING MORONS WHEN IT COMES TO BIOLOGY AND MEDICINE JUST AS I AM A TOTAL FUCKING MORON WHEN IT COMES TO FINANCE, ENGINEERING, LAW, ETC.

SonOfSpam

I got an A-minus in Honors Biology in high school.

They don’t let just ANYONE in high school Honors Biology.

/brushes off shoulder after proving bonafides

Wakezilla

But we all agree there is no such thing as woman’s clitoris (clitourous?), right?

Sill Bimmons

I’ve discovered it, and it’s Real And Spectacular.

SonOfSpam

What, we’re just making up words now?

Spur

My prediction, Clinton 53 – Sanders 47

SonOfSpam

Only if Clinton screws up the 2 point conversion.

I’ll go 56-44, and Trump winning like 55-20-20.

Plus, Trump will get a Slurpee at 9-11.

JustStopDude

They should have a delegate rule…basically any contested delegates, the challengers have to drink a shot for any delegate they want. Their opposite than can retake the delegate with their own shot.

Whoever drinks the most without passing out, gets the delegates in question…

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vjqGcUJAprY/Vd7mLnWw15I/AAAAAAAAAbU/qlQA2GCM4FE/s400/Marion-wins-a-shot-competition.gif

Spur

The Kennedy’s would never be out of power.

King Hippo

MOAR. I say 57-43. Anytime somebody screams and holds their breath about conspiracies like this, their internals FUCKING SUCK.

Spur

Voting’s gay.

SonOfSpam
JustStopDude

comment image

Patriotism is never gay…

Wakezilla

Not as gay as Michelle Bachmann’s husband. Bazinga!

SonOfSpam

Nothing, up to and including sucking 3 cocks at once, is that gay.

4 cocks is a tossup.

King Hippo

set a fire, or better yet, a SERIES of fires.

/this is my daydream answer to every problem

//also life sucks, especially for good people

Spur

Blackmail him. Do you have any kids willing to “take one for the team”?

JustStopDude

That’s rough. I only got to deal with a coworker I’ve dubbed “Mr. Clean” because shit does not stick to that fucker.

He has an innate ability to disappear when you need him, but he magically shows up at the end of something to get credit.

The way he writes emails is on par with dealing with lawyers drawing up a contract. He can say nothing in 500 words. He is a talented little fucker…

JustStopDude

Every time my shithead in question fucks up…and I mean REALLY fucks up..its like “Oh..you’re new…its understandable”.

THE ASSHOLE HAS BEEN WITH THE COMPANY TWO YEARS LONGER THAN I HAVE!

I think my favorite was when he went on PTO…without telling anyone…after he schedule himself for a site visit. So guess who had to drive across four states in the middle of the night? My dumb ass.

Wakezilla

You have my sympathies. Something very similar just happened to my wife, but, it was her getting transferred to a new division because of sheer stupidity. Luckily for her, she’s going on mat leave soon, so, she just has to wait it out for the next 2, 2 and a half months.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Call me…I work cheap, discreet and am willing to travel to the Great White North in murder for hire schemes. Like Canadia could ever extradite me…right?
Wait…could they?

Unsurprised

No. Murder is legal in Canadia.

Unsurprised

Murder

SonOfSpam

It’s halftime and the Parquet Patriots have 28 points.

NO ONE DENIES THIS!!!

JustStopDude

My Orioles tonight…

http://i.imgur.com/7rBpZkh.gif

JustStopDude

Hey! I bitch and Manny hits a HR!

Now only down by 2…

Unsurprised

Geez. Only one of thirty people came to my birthday party when I was in first grade and I’m totally fine.

http://115.imagebam.com/download/y9qy60CIU-Xhm4wXep8qMg/47837/478365443/12724655_1581681412123814_1743784626_n.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

Have never had a birthday party in my life.

Unsurprised

Then you were spared some incredible pain.

My condolences, though. You should rectify that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck that. Never wanted one even as a kid.
Sure as shit don’t want one now that I’m an old fuck.

Wakezilla

Charlotte never said this, but, you know what grinds my gears? When really hot female celebs, usually in their early 20s talk about how they were the most unpopular nerds when they were in highschool a couple to a few years prior.

Unsurprised

Indeed.

They are entirely full of shit and fuck them.

Sill Bimmons

Of course it was Nash shorthanded because of course it was.

http://meuinstrumento.com.br/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/fuuu.jpg

It’s the hockey equivalent to my feeble attempt at spreading some joy through helping out a kid.

Wakezilla

If it makes you feel any better, it probably should be 3-0 New York.

Sill Bimmons

True.

JustStopDude
Spur

I’ve never met a loud and proud Cruz supporter. I wonder what they’re like. Or is it a secret shame thing?

JustStopDude

I assume they are like the crazy people that try to marry serial killers on death row like Charles Manson.

Sill Bimmons

Just when you think you have something people could not POSSIBLY find fault with, a story told by a grandmother and corroborated by a major news affiliate about her poor grandson being left alone on his birthday because his skull refuses to expand…

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/world-reacts-after-no-one-shows-up-at-9-year-olds-birthday-party_us_57166fb1e4b0018f9cbb425f

Sill Bimmons

No.

If I don’t have a fucking soul I at least have a fucking heart.

SonOfSpam

“Tell me more about this fucking sole!”

– Rex Ryan

Spur

Howdy

Sill Bimmons

yo

Wakezilla

Damn, Ice Steelers better be hooking Zatkoff up with a few high end lady courtesans after that period. I can’t believe they’re still tied after that period.

PS: Wake up Gino!

WCS

That’s Matt Murray in net tonight.

Wakezilla

What the shit? The announcer in that last minute FLEURY said Zatkoff twice.

My bad.

They have Murray marked as only facing 6 shots. That doesn’t seem correct. *shrugs shoulders*

King Hippo

Murray? PRESENT!!

Sill Bimmons

Wake up Gino is accurate as fuck.

Sill Bimmons

Hey JSD…

I’ll dial it back when you explain to me how a grandma in Hobart, IN knows what THE FUCK pediatric skull expansion surgery is.

JustStopDude

My Grandmother goes off on rants about the Jews being behind all the world’s problems. I don’t expect people to take her word for it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Am I the only one who thinks this is about to go off the rails?
And by “about to” I mean pretty much already has…
http://cdn.makeagif.com/media/3-02-2015/sxcBY9.gif

Sill Bimmons

No, it won’t.

I don’t drink anymore and I’m correct.

That’s the end of me arguing medicine with an engineer.

JustStopDude

Eh…in my Grandma’s defense…its because my mother’s father left her pregnant at 16 and he was Jewish.

Not saying ALL the Jews were bad…just saying her experience with one man certainly tainted her world view.

Grandma isn’t allowed on the facebook no more.

SonOfSpam

You are not.

SonOfSpam

Great. Now he gets cross with me.

JustStopDude

Its cool. Sill is 100% right. I am 100% wrong.

There is zero need to continue this dicussion and I apologize for my behavior.

I offer this underboob gif as an apology to everyone.

http://i.imgur.com/pstHBK4.gif

Sill Bimmons

Don’t be a dick.

If I offered you engineering advice I’m sure your attitude would be identical.

Fuck you.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Seriously guys. Let’s not do this.

Sill Bimmons

I DIDN’T DO A FUCKING THING I HAD A FUCKING ENGINEER QUESTION MY PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL EXPERTISE I DOUBT VERY SINCERELY THAT ANY OF YOU WOULD HAVE TAKEN THAT SHIT LYING DOWN

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sill, I’m not calling you out. I just don’t want to see this escalate into something it really shouldn’t be. I agreed that doing something nice for the kid was in order.

JSD was cynical, yes…but that’s his right to be, whether I agree or not.

Either way, it’s really not something anyone needs to take personally. No one is saying you did anything wrong. But as an engineer, the portion of the skull expansion might not have hit home with JSD at the time it was originally mentioned. Just saying.

Sill Bimmons

THAT’S WHY HE SHOULD SHUT THE FUCK UP

JustStopDude

comment image

Not sure if I could pee in this toilet…

King Hippo

FACK you ice footbaw. At least Team HillyBob won’t let me down tonight. RIGHT??

Wakezilla

I was listening to sports radio today and they said NHL playoffs viewership is down 65% in Canada.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Ratface is going to have a very unpleasant conversation with Rogers Communication’s (Sportsnet) President about spending over a billion on the NHL product and getting these dumpster fire numbers.

King Hippo

All he wants is a final 4 of NY, BOS, LA, and CHI every year. Doesn’t everyone agree that’s what’s best for the sport??

Wakezilla

With increasing emails slowly being leaked about favoritism towards some teams and fighting over the past few years, the NHL could seriously benefit from a Canadian team getting some 2011 Boston Bruins friendly calls to win the cup. Have them play a big market American team and numbers in Canada will spike for a couple of years based on that Cup win alone.

Sill Bimmons

Ratface is the only reason why a sport played by almost exclusively white men with swords on their feet carrying bladed sticks they can hit each other with isn’t BY FAR the most popular non-football sport in a country as violent and racist as the US.

theeWeeBabySeamus

In NC, Ratface has a totally different connotation. Just saying.
http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2015/0116/header_1600x1000.jpg

King Hippo

speaking of politics, his endorsement could really move votes in the NJ GOP primary…

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

JustStopDude

So….no one else is watching the clusterfuck that is a New York primary that actually matters on the national stage?

http://static4.businessinsider.com/image/5245c4cc6bb3f72d572a504d/snakeplissken2.gif

Wakezilla

*puts on tinfoil hat*

USA 1% of 1%ers make US elections 2 years because they want people to not give a shit by election time so they can put in some asshole and people are just happy they were “democratically” elected.

Sill Bimmons

Oh FUCK your four minutes.

Wakezilla

Don’t worry, that goal that just happened shouldn’t count because he was offside.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

What is “Things I heard from my first girlfriend”, Alex

Sill Bimmons

yus

JustStopDude

My opening “White people you be fucking crazy” gif for the evening…

http://i.imgur.com/UaXGC6b.gif

WCS

C’MON GUST OF WIND

Sill Bimmons

Repost from earlier, abandoned thread:

“I’m going to vent right now. My grandson who is in second grade and has had at least 5 skull expansion surgeries, is slower then the other kids in his class. However, he is the kindest, most compassionate kid I know. His mother sent 30 invitations to his class. 12 said they were coming. At, 3 o’clock he made sure his goodie bags were ready for his friends, he was dressed and ready to party. At 5:00 p.m. he was still sitting there not wanting to cut his cake because one person might show up. When my daughter called the 12 parents to find out what was going on. Here is their response. My child can’t play with yours he is just to different. How sad he is 9 he just wants to have friends. So no one came, no cards, no presents. So, it is my mission to have as many cards as I can mailed to my little guy. You can send them to me and I’ll make sure he gets them….this breaks my heart.
Gerald Hamilton
c/o Amelia Lara
238 Main Street
Hobart, IN 46342”

Send the kid a card.

JustStopDude

The utterly jaded asshole in me can’t help but believe there is a lot more to this story than what has gotten out.

Sill Bimmons

Such as?

JustStopDude

The invites were never sent…this whole story is fake…maybe the kid is super touchy around little girls…kid never stops eating his boogers in public…

I mean I can think of a LOT of terrible things because again…I am an asshole.

Sill Bimmons

Damn.

There’s cynical, and there’s whatever emotion it is that leads you to believe something like that.

JustStopDude

I hate being a cynic. But in my defense, so many times there have been these online campaigns and they turn out to be full of shit.

Sill Bimmons

This is a grandma’s facebook post from April 4th.

If there was something nefarious behind it I’m pretty sure it would have been unearthed by now.

Stay Vigilant Against Disabled Children And Their Grandmas, Bro!

JustStopDude

By the way Sil…I donate and volunteer a LOT of time for disabled kids…all kidding aside.

I was born with spina bifida. I had to get more surgeries as a kid than most people go through in a lifetime.

All that insane traveling I do for work…every single airline mile and hotel point goes to Ronald’s McDonald’s House because they helped my parents when I was a baby gimp…and not the full fledged asshole gimp I am now.

I just don’t believe a single thing I read on facebook.

Sill Bimmons

Your circumstances are saddening.

So is your response to them.

JustStopDude

Oh lord Sill…dial it back a bit…

Next you want to give me a facebook link on how 9-11 was an inside job?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m hoping JSD misunderstood the premise of the original post. Dude, this is Sill’s family you’re talking about in case you missed that small point. I think he knows the details.

And Sill, consider it done. I’ll pick up a card first thing tomorrow and get it going your way. I hope the boy is doing OK.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Or now that I reread, I think I misunderstood the Sill’s family part.

But still, a card and a stamp. Not like they’re asking for donations.

Sill Bimmons

THIS IS NOT MY FAMILY

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, I see that now.

JustStopDude

Oh…oh dear god…

Well……damn…I…er…um…..

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Wakezilla

It’s possible. 12 confirmed they were going and then they didn’t. That’s a pretty dick move.

When I was in grade 3, there was a kid in my class named Onkar. He invited the whole class (without invitations in my defense), and I said he was going. I didn’t go and found out nobody showed up. To this day, even though I was never really friends with the kid, ever, I still feel like garbage for not showing, even though there was no invitation.

So yeah, it’s possible this is real. As we’re finding out in our inter-connected world, the unthinkable (both good and bad) does happen more often than we think.

Sill Bimmons

If you think it’s not for real, that’s your right.

I just don’t see how it’s possible to arrive at that conclusion.

Wakezilla

I do think it’s real! I was replying to JustStopDude saying that this most likely happened based on something that I experienced.

But I forgive you, your team is on a 4 minute PK and you’re a little hot and bothered 😉

Sill Bimmons

More bothered about the kid, honestly.

As a neuroscientist that skull expansion shit just rang so true. You can’t make that kind of shit up.

I never dealt with kids because I dealt primarily in ophthalmology, but I know the shit they go through when people have to split their skulls open to make room for their brains.

Wakezilla

Holy cow, that’s pretty damn sad.

Sill Bimmons

THIS IS NOT MY FAMILY I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE

Horatio Cornblower

Sill, not to join the cynical party above while doing so anyway but I saw a similar but slightly different version of this same story on Facebook this week. It seems to be a fake story that cycles up every now and again. There’s no telling what motivates people to start them but it’s like the chain letter of the internet.

Sad thing is on the off chance this one is true anyone who’s already seen three variations of the story just blows it off.

Sill Bimmons

See the skull expansion explanation above.

Microcephaly is so unbelievably rare that it is inconceivable to me that a person without experience of the condition could possibly know to make that up.

Also, it’s not just on facebook it’s on HuffPo, which is admittedly not the Guardian but what here is?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/world-reacts-after-no-one-shows-up-at-9-year-olds-birthday-party_us_57166fb1e4b0018f9cbb425f

I’ve also been chastised for posting from the HuffPo articles I’m forwarded by idiots.

I just see no way that this is faked.

Sill Bimmons

When I need a lawyer’s advice on brain medicine I’ll be certain to let you know.

Sill Bimmons

Let me know when you need my advice on a legal ruling OH THAT’S RIGHT THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY LAWYERS ARE EVER FUCKING WRONG ABOUT ANYTHING

Sill Bimmons

OAR ENGINEERS FOAR THAT MATTER

King Hippo

Ice Stillers! Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals! DO A THING! (unlike the last thing ya done)

Sill Bimmons

Great action so far.

King Hippo

yeah but then teh bad thing happen

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