Your “What Blessings The Gods Have Bestowed Upon Us” Monday Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

/opens browser

OH MAH FACKIN’ GAWD, FACKIN’ GOODELL FINALLY GAWT TAWMMY!!11!1!

Roger Goodell Is Allowed To Be Hitler - Barstool Sports

“Leave Tom Brady Alone” Barstool Sports

 

 

The Greatest Lie of All Time Off The Monster Sports

I didn’t know Holocaust equivalencies were such an integral part of the Massachusetts curriculum.

Really, I could go on. Such unbridled, unrepentant, undiluted yet deluded hate; it really could only come from the world’s most “oppressed” “nation” of sports “fans”. It was what I needed on a Monday morning. I may never have children, so I will take this moment of pure emotion for what it is – proof I can go on, and that there really are worse people than me.

As far as actual effects, Gisele’s disappointment will miss the first four games, forfeit the requisite pay, and the Pats lose their first round pick (plus a 2017 4th rounder). HOW WILL THEY SURVIVE?! It doesn’t seem like much, considering Brady’s reworked contract seems to take the suspension into account, and the Pats have a documented history of trading away their top pick and turning garbage into gold later in the weekend. Still, update your predictions accordingly.

That really livened up Monday’s NFL News Roundup. Until then, the most interesting things were the announcement that JFFs indictment will be filed on Tuesday, and news that Sam Bradford is refusing to attend any more off-season Eagles workouts and demanding a trade. We are all grateful for Manziel’s contributions to this week’s Crimebeat! and look forward to his eventual tearful admission, trivial sentencing, and journey north to play for the Hamilton Tiger Cats. As to Bradford, I guess someone got tired of all the rumours and decided to put on his big boy pants.

Deadspin has a story that Mike Tirico is leaving tWWL this summer for NBC, to start with Olympics coverage and as their Thursday Night Football play-by-play man. Since Al Michaels’ contract expires in 2017, NBC seems smart to lock down a possible replacement now.

Finally, I tried to read Peter King’s Acela Excreta this morning, but somewhere about his third “I’m a genius who’s an idiot genius, you idiots” allusion, I had to close my laptop before it flew across the room. You’ll have to look elsewhere for his take; I regret nothing.

Just three days to the draft!

Tonight’s sports action!

NHL: both are elimination games

  • Anaheim @ Nashville – 8:00 (Ducks up 3-2)
  • Chicago @ St. Louis – 8:30 – Game 7! Go Blues!!

NBA:

  • Heat @ Hornets – 7:00 – Game 4
  • Mavs @ Thunder – 8:00 – Game 5
  • Clippers @ Portland – 10:30 – Game 4

WWE RAW: there’s a PPV this Sunday, so tonight’s episode will set the table for that. Expect lots of talking.

Really, I’ve never had such fun doing a SFW Google image search.

SO MUCH JOY!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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Wakezilla
Member

Hurray for cosplay!

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have been rewatching last week’s The Flash. I had forgotten just how terribly written it was. Both specific lines and plot wise. Just fucking awful.

Wakezilla
Member

It really didn’t make a lick of sense.

I think moving forward, these shows need to have two mini seasons in one.Having just one big bad for 24 episodes just doesn’t work as the hero fails too much and the story just drags. It’s not fun

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Porn to laugh at (NSFW): http://i.imgur.com/34asieC.webm

Wakezilla
Member

Yeah, I’ve seen a few funny clips like that. Porn is so crazy

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Is anyone up?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am around, I just made like 20 mozz sticks because I hadn’t eaten dinner and I thought that that was acceptable, but also took 40 min to cook.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Cool. I made myself a sandwich an hour ago. I’m debating whether to make popcorn or just go to bed when this movie ends.

Wakezilla
Member

I’m up and I’ll be UP. . . ALL. . . NIGHT!

Stupid insomnia. What up?

Speaking of what up, I ran into Neil Patrick Harris today at Choices Market in Vancouver. #Coolstorybro

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Neat.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I’m watching Scrooged and the world has changed so much since then it’s amazing. I love how the execs’ reaction to Bill Murray’s Scrooge commercial in 1988 is disgust and shock, and yet here we are now where they show shit like that to kids now.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Why are you watching Scrooged in April?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Why not?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

You win this round. Bill Murray is always a reason. I guess personally that is a Xmas pic and also one that doesn’t hold up as well as the rest of his work (I am told I am wrong on that last thing by my family, so if you tell me I am wrong I already know)

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I did just finish Groundhog Day. It was this or Big Trouble In Little China.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have never seen Snake Plisscan in Little China. I know I need to watch that one eventually

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I think it’s an excellent time capsule of 1988. It’s also fascinating as one of the movies Richard Donner directed in the 1980s, this one being between Lethal Weapon 1 & 2. Donner did Superman, The Toy, Goonies, Scrooged, Lethal Weapon & Lethal Weapon 2 in just over a decade, and that’s not even all of them.

Did you know Miles Davis is playing the trumpet in the street band that he walks past while talking to his brother?

Fronkenshteen
Member

Hey boys & Dok. Clocked out! Shift beer (Old Tavern Red) going down like lemonade. Still have 2 more innings of SD/SF in the earbud. Is Ted Leitner beloved by Padre fans? He’s like a coked up Rodney Dangerfield trying to do Marty Glickman. Right now he’s the perfect buzz.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

And an update on my personal life. Pups went in for another surgery today, this one to remove a tooth (I got to see what was removed after, the tooth/teeth fell apart in the doctors hands when he showed me what he removed), he is doing well and actually ate tonight which is good because he is 6 lbs down from he last surgery because it hurt to eat, and he had to wait a month for this surgery because it wasn’t emergency. Other news, I sprained my ankle again and couldn’t walk all day and stole some Vicoden from the leftovers in my moms stash from when she hurt her back. I would say it was medicinal but I crushed and snorted the pills instead of just taking them. They worked as I can walk now but I am also high and drunk now so I can’t say my motives were pure

Wakezilla
Member

I hope your dog feels better.

Yeah for getting high!

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Last time I sprained an ankle I was downing Aleve like M&Ms. Never had Vicodin. I can’t remember the last time I was on prescription painkillers. I’ve always been too big a pussy to do anything physical that would necessitate it.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think the Hawks got a little bit fucked by the refs ignoring calls in the first 2 periods that would have helped the Hawks (Shaw being tripped, having his legs pulled 3 feet in the air and no call being the worst after being Supermanned) and in the 3rd having slightly bullshit calls called against them (The second one being the one I most object to with barely a lovetap on the upper thigh called as slashing). It was a great series though and I enjoyed watching. I hate most of the other teams still alive, the Blues might be the team I end up rooting for going forward

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

And they were one ricochet away from knotting it up…I need to quit sniffing glue

Wakezilla
Member

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

I’m back from watching th Blackhawks lose at a bar. I both hate and love all of you.

Wakezilla
Member

Look at the plus side: This should be enough to keep Ken Hitchcock’s job, which is hilarious.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Don T
Member

Count me in for Team Assoteric

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

WHORES!!!!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

a misprint in a 1980s newspaper that switched the captions between Far Side and Dennis the Menace

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Shine On, You Crazy Diamond

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Pink Floyd – On The Turning Away

King Hippo
Member

The FOR REALZ #BFIB are beating up Zach(k)? Greinke 5-2, which I am sure everyone is equally, if not MOAR happy about.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Some semi-obscure 80s for WCS….

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

The Smiths – How Soon Is Now?
(upon further review…this one might not be helpful)

makeitsnowondem
Member

Om nom nom Victory at Sea

Brocky
Member

….And here come the cowards who’d you have no idea follow a particular sport until the home team loses

WCS
Member

WWOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO BLACKHAWKS OR KINGS THIS YEAR

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

At least the Hawks won’t win this year…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Laughing way too hard at this.
/might be drunk

WCS
Member

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…is groovy.

King Hippo
Member

Vitamin X, man! Tis good for a putative padre such as yourself.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Time foar some muzak to chill you mothers out….
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Pink Floyd – Learning to Fly

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Wish You Were Here

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Coming Back to Life

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

America…Fuck Yeah!!!!
/gotta rewatch that soon

Gratliff
Member

If I ever meet someone who legitimately prefers digiorno to actual pizza, I would not hesitate to slew foot them. That is a terrible person.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ve had pizza from Pizza Hut that was way worse. Come at me bro.

http://40.media.tumblr.com/48e573d8a9db4faa61d59ab4c91d82fa/tumblr_nw69bnI1k51rrkahjo1_500.jpg

Gratliff
Member

I clearly said actual pizza

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, yeah, OK. As per definition.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

So I guess they are turning the comic book “Preacher” into an AMC show.

I don’t really see how it could work as a live action show. Its also weird that Seth Rogan is directing the first episode.

King Hippo
Member

“Talking Preach” with Chris Hardwick!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

I think it’s pretty clear the “discussion show” would be called “Preach On!”