[BOOK FLIES OPEN]: Andrew Luck Knows How to Read

It’s been a busy past few days in NFL News: Josh Norman signed with the [REDACTED]s and shortly thereafter admitted that he tried and failed to go crawling back to the Panthers; Sam Bradford demanded a trade and said he wouldn’t show up to OTAs in protest of the Eagles’ front office making clear that they think the lesser of Carson Wentz and Jared Goff will still be an upgrade; Johnny Manziel got indicted; makeitsnow and Blaxabbath BOTH got engaged; Eric Berry appeared on Ellen DeGeneres’s show; and hmmm, was there anything else, OH YEAH, TOM BRADY’S SUSPENSION WAS REINSTATED BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I’ll contain myself from carrying forth on that since so many HAWT TAEKS on Patriots Schadenfreuderections already abound. To me, the biggest NFL story this week was that Andrew Luck started a book club. I know what you’re thinking: HODOR? HODOR HODOR HODOR.  But this is a real story, which even came with a picture of Luck reading. AN ACTUAL BOOK!

Ape tweeted out a different NOT AT ALL PHOTOSHOPPED version that will shock you and make you click on all the clicks that ever clicked until you have a buzzgasm: https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/724645407888805888

Far be it for me to insinuate that HODOR is actually hiding something else inside that dustjacket, but I don’t buy that his Clots teammates have been pestering the hirsute huddler for things to read beyond the Song of Hiawatha or the Deerslayer. But still, it’s great that he recognized that not everyone went to Stanford, and maybe it’s time to share your love of books with those that can read above a UNC level–I’m talking, of course, about children. Andrew Luck’s book club picks a book for kids and a book for adults, and I’m all for it, even though his first book for adults is about finding the clitoris.

So while the Fat Humps wipe the gravy off their library cards and go check out the bearded equivalent of Oprah’s book picks, why don’t we chat a little about what we’re reading? One of the DFOers [I can’t remember which, and I blame whisky] recommended Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies by Jared Diamond, so I’ve been reading that on flights recently. If you’re not much of a reader, there’s a National Geographic documentary you can check out instead. Basically, Diamond sets out to explain why some societies developed the tools to conquer others and not the other way around. I haven’t finished it yet (no spoilers on who wins between European explorers and the indigenous peoples of North America please) so I won’t try and review/dissect it yet. In the spirit of HODOR, though, I’d like to recommend one book for the wee children and another for the adults. No review on the former, since I haven’t read it in a few decades, but if you have a little one, pick up In the Year of the Board and Jackie Robinson for them.  It’s a book about a little girl who leaves China for the U.S. and ends up idolizing #42. It is so similar to BeerGuyRob’s life story that he should sue for likeness rights.

Seriously, though, it’s an awesome book that I re-read a bunch as a kid, and if it doesn’t hold up now that’s totally not my fault. Buy it for a niece and nephew and have them report back via diorama or whatever.

As for older audiences, I’ve been reading Karl Ove Knausgaard’s memoirs, and I can’t recommend him enough. I recognize how douchey it sounds to say “no, you just HAVE to read this six-part autobiography of a Norwegian guy, even though the whole thing hasn’t even been translated into English yet and each of the six books is 400 or so pages, and did I mentioned that he had the balls to name it ‘My Struggle’ JUST LIKE SOMEONE ELSE?” But seriously, I’ve read the first three books and am moved by his writing. It’s pretty straightforward. He’s a writer, his childhood sucked, Norway is cold, and he hates himself. But he makes ALL of it so damn compelling. When I finished the first book, I said to a friend, “I can’t remember the last time I read a book where I didn’t personally like the narrator and still couldn’t wait to read more about him.” If you want to up the douche quotient a little further, here’s a New York Times piece on the books, and the New Yorker is similarly captivated by Knausgaard’s work.  It’s a serious time commitment to read them all, but I found the first one beautiful enough to stand on its own while impelling me to crack open the second. I waited a while between two and three and haven’t even started four yet. If you want to read them and discuss them, drop me a note. If you want to stay away from Norsemen, there are plenty of literary DFOers who will no doubt have excellent recommendations in the comments. In the meantime, don’t feel bad for Tom Brady, as he and the Patriots clearly thought the reinstatement of his suspension was a possibility.