Your Memorial Day Monday Open Thread

A brief soliloquy:

All my aunts on my father’s side married US soldiers. There was a NORAD base outside Kirkland Lake, Ontario back in the 1960s. I once asked my aunt why she married an American, and she said, “Robert, I looked at your uncle, and then I looked at my choices in Kirkland Lake. I wanted to see the world, and he was a handsome man.” ‘Nuff said.

All of those uncles served in Vietnam, and one served in proximity to Captain America, so that made him a Cowboys fan for life. I gotta respect that, like I respect anyone who’s put on their country’s uniform. I hope all the US DFOers are having a good holiday Monday.

Here’s a couple of good links to history pages about war vets who played in the NFL. Rocky Bleier will never not be impressive.


Continuing the military theme, Keenan Reynolds – Ravens 6th-round pick in 2016 – and Chargers undrafted signee Chris Swain were given permission to defer their service requirements until after the end of their playing days. Cue the old guys complaining kids today have it soft.

The Admiral also has a question or two.

NFL News:

  • Well well well – a former Inglewood city employee is claiming the mayor & pro-football council members cooked the books to make Inglewood look financially stable in advance of the NFL decision on relocation.
    • Because the source for the story is Florio’s lunatic lounge, you can imagine the quality of comments.
  • Also at PFT, they have a breakdown on why certain owners prefer or oppose Vegas for the Raiders.
  • Ryan Fitzpatrick has issue with being paid $12 million to be considered better than Geno Smith.
If anyone can bring back Zubaz, it’s this man.

In this week’s Acela Excreta:

  • Petey decided to let Jenny Vrentas write this week’s episode, while separately penning a letter bravely maintaining his stance of not using “[*Redacted] s”, despite polls numbers showing ambivalence. “THIS IS MY SOAPBOX!” he declared, while not calling it a soapbox. Among her highlights:
    • “No Super Bowl loser has been back to the big game the next season in 23 years. But don’t bet against Riverboat Ron Rivera and the Panthers.” HOT TAEK!!!
    • She also reviews the Raiders-to-Vegas rumours, and covers the dollars and cents which is driving people like Bob McNair to begrudgingly support such an idea
    • A nice segue on all the Jags injuries into a major story about Paul Posluszny and the nine years he has spent in Jaxson De Ville’s shadow hoping for a winning season.
    • Finally, the main portion of the article concludes with a recap of an interview with the Ryan brothers, and what they hope to bring to western NY this Fall.
  • I didn’t care about the rest of the article past there, so I stopped.

I bet he felt pretty smug when they announced the dates for the Cup Finals. Monday, May 30th looked perfect for Gary Bettman – the start of a new week; other sports usually run lighter schedules; major networks have ended their seasons, so there’d be no broadcast competition; and Monday Night RAW ratings suck. After a difficult year, and a playoff season that saw no Canadian teams at all & all the major-US market teams go out early, the best case scenario was what he was delivered.

And then Klay Thompson happened.

If you look closely, you can see pinpoint the exact moment when the souls of the front row left their bodies.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Now all anyone can talk about is the NBA and Game 7, and I couldn’t be happier. Released ratings info from last week show the NHL playoffs not only getting trounced by the NBA (0.6 versus 3.0) but also by the NBA pregame show (0.6 vs 0.7), and Eastern Conference Game 7 viewers were down 23% from last year.

It really doesn’t help San Jose to be opening their otherwise-notable first-ever Cup Final in the shadow of their Bay-area sports brethren. If the Warriors win, and the Sharks get walloped, it’s pretty much lights-out for coverage from today forward.

Brent Burns - 2016playoffs
Brent Burns will always be Covalent Blonde’s favourite.

Tonight’s “Kill or be killed” playoff action:

NBA: Game 7 – OKC @ Golden State – 9:00

NHL: Game 1 – Finals – San Jose @ Pittsburgh – 8:00

  • Prediction: Penguins in 6.

Other stuff, because you are done with sports?

  • DISXD: BattleBots – 7:30. You’re learning what the fuss is about. Watch some in prep for the June 23 premiere.
  • History: Roots – 9:00. We don’t get the new series in Canada, but I hear this remake’s not bad.
    • I remember watching the original. I don’t think the new one will have the same “shock value”, but hopefully has accurate history.
  • TCM:
    • Where Eagles Dare – 8:00
    • Kelly’s Heroes – 10:45

The kid in me who grew up watching Jack Sikma is rooting for the Warriors. WHO YA GOT?!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Horatio Cornblower

I’ve been on vacation since last Tuesday. I go back tomorrow.

I fucking hate the first day back after a vacation.

Covalent Blonde

You have my sympathies. I so detest that feeling I have learned to dread vacations.

Brocky

-Memorial Day

-Flag Day

-4th of July

-September 11th

-Veteran’s Day

I’ll take occasions for my racist relatives to make anti-Obama rants of facebook for $400 Alex?

The Maestro

Don’t forget Christmas! Gotta share those Bill O’Reilly #WarOnXmas clips around too you know…

Spur

Why is KD not getting any shots? Fucking Westbrook.

WCS

Sweet mother of fuck, this Infiniti commercial makes me want to throw the dog into the TV.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yep….this guy is a new father everybody.

Spur

Klay is carrying the warriors on 3s

theeWeeBabySeamus

Going to the 3rd, we got us a goddamned game people!!!!
Let’s watch….

Covalent Blonde

Dammit. And now I get a humbling PP

King Hippo

Losing Game 1 would be sad panda enough, but the thought of a SECOND FLEURY appearance…the horror, the horror….

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I wouldn’t have a problem with a second McFlurry appearance…”

– Andy Reid

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I don’t know you that’s my purse!”

– Draymon Green

Spur

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Spur

The irony of Draymond getting hurt while pulling down Adams

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Covalent Blonde

Nicely done, Marleau!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Spur

Westbrook and Roberson are KILLING OKC right now.

King Hippo

This Westbrook and Roberson (sorry, dunno they first names) I call them Timothy McVeigh because…

The Maestro

Yup, well, just like McVeigh, Klay’s not working alone out there.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey look!!! Hippoz is now on the express ticket to hell right alongside me.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think the Suicide Squad movie is going to suck, I do like Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn just from photos

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Spur

I bet it’s better then Superman v. Batman.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Cancer is better than Batman v. Superman

Redshirt

I haven’t seen Batman v Superman, but I think Batman & Robin might be better than Batman v Superman.

King Hippo

certainly better sexual chemistry…

Spur

Durant and Westbrook are two amazing players who just are bone headed at horrible times.

WCS

Redshirt

THESE GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS, I CALL THEM THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR, BECAUSE THEY STARTED OUT FULL OF ENERGY BUT THEY JUST RUN OUT OF GAS!!!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They certainly seem to have been swapped out for a crappier version.

WCS

Spur

What the holy blazing hell was that Westbrook?

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus

Well fuck me. That didn’t quite work, did it?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
The Maestro

Ooooh, Mistah J!

Spur

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh goddammit.
Now I gotta go and….ummmm….take care of something again.

Covalent Blonde

That was a mighty sexy stop by Jonesy!

Spur

Golden State has some dumb turnovers

Spur

margot robbie is just dime piece

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’d gladly pay several dimes for that piece.
/did I say that out loud?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

More like “do me” piece, amirite?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Ehh, she’s ok

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...

So as a neutral observer who enjoys schadenfreude a little too much, whom do I root for in tonight’s indoor ice and wood games?

litre_cola

Ed Hochuli

Redshirt

Oklahoma City Thunder because Golden State set the record for most wins in a season.

Hockey I have no idea.

ballsofsteelandfury

I think you get maximum Schadenfreude if the Warriors lose. That way, two fanbases (Seattle and GS) are pissed off instead of just one.

Spur

A Targaryen must sit on the Iron Throne.

Horatio Cornblower

R+L=J!!!!!!!

WCS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Ah, fuck it.”

– Rikki-Tikki-Deadly, getting out the rum

The Maestro

Warriors fans don’t fuck around on Monday nights, huh?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Beats me. I’m a Celtics fan.

Also a fan of rum.

Spanky Datass

“Way ahead of you RTD.”
Spanky Datass, pouring his third … maybe fourth.

litre_cola

Souls of Mischief was awesome. Good on them for getting money from the man for their bumper music.

Spur

Is the Thunder’s plan to run the offense through Dion?

WCS

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Covalent Blonde

http://i.imgur.com/IdpSmQp.gif
What did I just say about Pittsburgh and their loose 5-holes?

Covalent Blonde

That feels right!

...

At my soon-to-be-former job, we have Google mail as our email and it allows us to select a profile picture. Tomorrow, I think I’m setting it to this.

Covalent Blonde

Do it!

ballsofsteelandfury

Hey, CB, does that remind you of a conversation you and I had once about a certain girl?

Covalent Blonde

Obviously

theeWeeBabySeamus

It IS pretty nifty, eh?

Covalent Blonde

I hate to give you too big a pat to the back, but yes… kinda awesome

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Spur

Warriors cheerleader requirement must be for them not to have ass.

...

Well, that’s really ironic.

ballsofsteelandfury

Sir Mix-a-Lot is greatly disappointed.

King Hippo

tragically missed by both red beans AND rice ,, smh

litre_cola

DEY FROM OAKTOWN

Covalent Blonde

I see the same phenomenon in Berkeley cheerleaders, too. At least we rationalise it as being too busy studying

Redshirt

Wow. San Jose actually found the Penguins’ goal. Good for them.

Covalent Blonde

Don’t worry. They will be forgetting their way again right soon.

ballsofsteelandfury

So, the goal is like the clit?

...

In that missing a little high, low, or to either side means it counts for nothing?

ballsofsteelandfury

Exactly

Covalent Blonde

I ask you, who doesn’t like “a little slot game”?

litre_cola

How do you east cost folk watch this when it is so late? Do not answer booze, as we know the cause and solution to all problems.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yeah, whenever I travel east, it freaks me out. How the fuck do people go to work in the morning?

Redshirt

Sleeping pills and Red Bull.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I would always watch Hawks games to the end even when I had a job where I had to be in at 5 am. I am central time so 1 hour better than east coast but their games start at 9 for me, but the answer is “Fuck you work, I am coming in tired, the Hawks were on”

Redshirt

So if Thunder wins and then the Cavs loses the Finals, this will be the final nail in the coffin and Cleveland just slips of the continental shelf and sinks into Lake Erie. Am I Right?

WCS

Everybody wins!

ballsofsteelandfury

That would be the humane way for it to happen. So, probably not. They will continue to suffer for an eternity.

Let’s face it: Hell exists and its name is Cleveland.

The Maestro

I’m not explicitly comparing Cleveland to Carthage, but you have to admit that Warriors attacking from the Bay are probably going to destroy the city for good once again…

litre_cola

Cavs win, they burn the Factory of Sadness to the ground no?

Spur

No way the Thunder win this game if Westbrook keeps hero-balling.

WCS

Doktor Zymm

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...

I should wear that on my shirt on my final day.

Spur

They should interview the people that paid $29k for a floor ticket.

...

I’m sorry, you can wax my taint but there’s no way anyone is waxing my sack.

Spur

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...

Welp. I’m horrified.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Do they always remove the penis too? Or is that an optional thing

Spur

Curry with that 3 over Adams was just dirty.

litre_cola

Thoughts on the cookie monster SIRI commercial?

Redshirt

Based on my rule of cheering for the hockey team from a place where ice usually forms in winter.

GO PITTSBURGH!!!

What? I mean it.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Amend that to say “unless they are from Canada”

Redshirt

The rule only applies when facing a team from the south where ice doesn’t always form in winter.

Covalent Blonde

I need s much more booze for the send period.

Unsurprised
Brocky

I just saw the score…. good lord,
There’s a ben Roethlisberger bathroom joke in there somewhere

Covalent Blonde

My Ice Niners do NOT leave their 5-holes open like all of those easy Pittsburgh ladies!

Unsurprised

White Party?

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King Hippo

mmmmmmmmm, shoulders

Spur

Draymond’s nut-kickin’ foot is warmed up. Time for game 7.

Covalent Blonde

That’s a pretty dark mark for being a GSW fan, actually.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK Sharkies. You’ve fucked up long enough. Time to at least make a game of it Period2. Stop fucking around.

http://media3.giphy.com/media/MByjubjTK8IhO/giphy.gif

Spanky Datass

Segway Ice Hockey League needs to be a real thing.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view4/4772748/segway-polo-accident-o.gif