The Wins of Winter (Part 1)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Snow.

In Oakland.

Unbelievable.

“You know nothing, Weather Underground,” thought Coby Fleener as he watched the snowflakes float down into the Coliseum. Coby had seen his share of cold days growing up in Joliet, and later in Indianapolis, but he’d never seen snow fall from the sky near San Francisco Bay. He’d never even imagined it was possible.

Jim Irsay had been more prescient. “A blizzard is coming”, the grizzled owner of the Colts had told him, but Coby had discounted the old man’s disjointed rantings, assuming he was talking about something else entirely. And even if Irsay had successfully predicted the snow, it wasn’t even the greatest revelation. That honor fell to the Colts’ opponents, the Oakland Raiders.

The soothsayers had all predicted that the Raiders were ready for a resurgence, but what had shocked everyone, including the soothsayers – especially the soothsayers – was that their prophecies had actually turned out to be true. Oakland had feasted upon their competition in the West, and finished their season with thirteen victories. With their final triumph over the previous year’s tournament champion at the Eyrie in Denver, they ensured future battles would be held in the boggy swamp of their own home field, which his how Coby and his fellow Colts found themselves in Oakland in January.

Coby’s own journey had been more circuitous. He’d been released by the Colts in the offseason, and after just six weeks of playing for the Saints, had been traded right back to Indianapolis. He was happy to have come back. With the Colts front office finally having secured some protection for Andrew Luck, the season had been a good one. Which was, of course, how they found themselves facing Oakland in the AFC Championship.

And now they were just six yards away from the end of that season. Trailing by four, just over sixty seconds left in the game, and facing a fourth-and-six at Oakland’s forty yard line.

“Hodor.”

Coby turned to regard his quarterback. He glanced at the sky, and nodded.

“Hodor.”

“I heard. Max protect. Slide Right Z Post.”

“Hodor.”

“Let’s do it.” Coby strapped on his helmet and pushed in his mouthpiece, which fit oddly between his teeth after he’d been hit so hard in the chin by a linebacker that the plastic had deformed.

The arrival of whatever weather phenomenon brought the snow had also caused the temperature to plummet, so much so that Coby could see the clouds of his own breath as he took up his three-point stance on the right side of the line. Seeing his breath brought back memories of college – of the game against Colorado.

Memories of the last time he heard Andrew Luck say anything other than “Hodor.”

Nobody expected the Buffaloes to put up the battle that they had. Stanford was ranked third in the country and had come into the game as twenty-four point favorites. And they played very much up to their potential in the first half, building a twenty point lead and looking like they would cruise casually to another win. But their starting center went down with a groin pull on the first series of the second half, and their offense had stalled. With eight minutes left in the third, their luck turned entirely sour. A tipped pass turned into an interception that was returned to the two yard line, quickly to be followed by a touchdown. Colorado went for broke with an onsides attempt on the following kickoff and succeeded, and then managed to grind out another touchdown. And then finally, with just three minutes left in the game, a blocked punt led to another absurdly improbable touchdown, and a one point lead for the Buffaloes.

The Stanford players were distraught. Twenty minutes of action, and their dreams of a national title were in peril.

Andrew Luck wasn’t rattled, though. “Come on,” he encouraged his teammates, “let’s keep it together. We’ve got this.”

And on the ensuing possession, he had proven that it was more than just words. He calmly dissected the Colorado defense, taking over for their baffled backup center and dictating his own protection schemes. He led Stanford to a third-and-four at Colorado’s twenty-five yard line, making a field goal into a manageable proposition for their kicker in Boulder’s thin air. A simple running play to the left to center the attempt and wind the clock down to a few seconds left was all that remained.

Luck pulled the Stanford players into the huddle. “Thunder formation, smash left check.  Architect.” Andrew barked with practiced, confident cadence.

Coby’s eyes widened. He wasn’t the only one surprised by the play call.  It was a play that Luck himself had designed.  And, given the situation, a very unexpected play.  The play called for a standard offensive line push to the left, under normal circumstances clearing as much room as possible for the fullback to dive ahead for a few yards.  Only the designation “architect” made it into something entirely different.  The handoff to the fullback would be a play action fake.  The ball was intended to go to Coby.

Coby, who would be letting his defender slip right past and praying to the Gipper that he’d bite on the fake and chase the fullback, rather than smothering the unprotected Luck.  And then Coby would have to say another prayer, this time to the Walker, in hopes that the box safety would lean in towards the flow of the play so Coby could run up the seam unchallenged.

It was a bold call.  If it worked, they could win the game with a single stroke.  A gamble, weighed against their national championship hopes.

Andrew looked at him and winked. “Elementary,” he said.

 

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Is there really nothing on TV again tonight except Seinfeld being a rich dick in a car with people far more funny than him. I hope he dies painfully and alone

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Another Period is really funny. Though not putting Christina Hendricks in a corset is a grave oversight.

I still want to see the Drunk History recordings that they could never salvage.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“not putting Christina Hendricks in a corset is a grave oversight.”

Just wanted to restate that.

Sharkbait
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Sharkbait

Hooray bar trivia night. Drinking AND useless knowledge!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Useless? USELESS?!?!?!

THERE IS ALWAYS EVERY WEDNESDAY, PAL!

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I have indifferent feelings about strip clubs but Portland clubs can be nude and serve liquor (lick her liquor. :P) so maybe I was wrong about them.

(I’m not wrong about them.)

theeWeeBabySeamus
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

With college tuition and day care costs what they are people need alternative sources of income…… in the form of crinkled up singles.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Hello there, fellow internet users.

I have been drinking.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Good. It is very important to stay well-hydrated in the summer months.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

INDEED!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons
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Sill Bimmons

That’s an intemperate amount of celebration for a home win over Albania.

http://www.netanimations.net/Moving-animated-picture-of-dancin-dude.gif

ThursdaySkyGoddess
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ThursdaySkyGoddess
Sharkbait
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Sharkbait

Deux-Nil

King Hippo
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The Sparrow has CRASHED

ThursdaySkyGoddess
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ThursdaySkyGoddess

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Sharkbait
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Sharkbait

Les Frogs finally on the board

King Hippo
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PULL YER GOALIE, FRANCE!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So to speak.

King Hippo
Member

Holy shit, if Albania were to draw France, it might be the best day in their history since Karl Marx invented the Slinky.

/might be little bit Day Drunk

//lunch waitress was cute

Sharkbait
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Sharkbait

That’s the best excuse for day drinking.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*Stock foto.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
King Hippo
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which, it is my life’s mission to make sure everyone knows, is Charlie Day’s for reals wifey.

theeWeeBabySeamus
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Which explains why the hate is so believable.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Thank you, Captain Bonerkiller.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

MAJOR Bonerkiller.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

This was my day today without the ambiance. Just hot as fuck with the smell of smoke, ash, sweat and shame in the air.
(the shame part is pretty much constant)
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Beerguyrob
Member

Did you have to put your day out with urine?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Nope, still smoldering. The fire that is, not my urine (not this week at least, fingers crossed for next week).
Hoping T-storms take care of it later. If not, the hose it shall be.

Sharkbait
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Sharkbait

At least you can drink away the shame?

King Hippo
Member

DFO. Drinking away teh shame since 2015!!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Normally yes. Sadly I’m on day 13 of 30 dry.
I do got some weed tho. Fuck off, shame.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You need to use more lubricant.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

If I had a nickel….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It costs more than that if you get the good stuff.

King Hippo
Member

If you can’t run train on Albania with Payet and Martial (Pogba’s sub and the only reason Manure qualified for Europa) then your country just plain sucks.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Porn and soccer got mixed up in this comment.

theeWeeBabySeamus
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Yep, it’s really not right to use a phrase which implies multiple scoring when speaking of soccer. Just saying.

King Hippo
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It’s always easy to figure out a nation’s best player when they only got one black guy, , no ofence

Wakezilla
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I dawnt see color cuz I live in a post rachel societee. I can tell a nation’s best player by how athletic they look. When I see Pogba, he looks so athletic, I would crawss the street if he were walking towards me in cahvillian lyfe.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

people forget that

Wakezilla
Member

Les Frogs are benching Pogba and Griezmann against Albania. The theory is to rest them up for Switzerland, but, there’s got to be something else going on here. Put Albania away early, clinch a playoffs spot and rest up against the Swiss, who will be fine playing for the tie and clinching a playoffs spot.

King Hippo
Member

Serious, everything I know about GoT, I has learnt from DFO. Well, DFO and the last minute before my DVR of Veep/Silicon Valley kicks in.

Wakezilla
Member

Same. I saw the first 4 episodes of the show and that’s it, yet, I know what’s going on mostly thru DFO and people just telling me about it whether I want to hear it or not.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You can learn a lot by googlebinging “Game of Thrones nudity gif”…… at least that is what people are saying.

SonOfSpam
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Kellen Winslow likes googlebinging in parking lots.

Wakezilla
Member

Wow, I knew Group B was kind of an average group, but, they’re really going above and beyond to prove just how shitty their group is with how they’re playing.

Also, fuck Portugal for parking the bus after a 1-0 lead and tying. Now they’ll have to dress their best players when they play Hungary for their 3rd match, meaning, Hungary needs to beat Iceland on Saturday.

Sharkbait
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Sharkbait

Albania vs France. Who ya got?

jjfozz
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Seahawks. They get all the calls their way.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Touchdown.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Wakezilla
Member

I think the Les Frogs are going to win this one 3-1

Sharkbait
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Sharkbait

Albania might have a few sleeper agents in the lineup

http://www.qsl.net/kb9mwr/files/ham/cartoon/0111nve00002thumb.jpg

Wakezilla
Member

Because I saw that episode at an impressionable age, I’ve never been able to trust Albanians and always think of Sparrow when someone mentions Albania.

Fronkenshteen
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Who are the uglies in this one? Take it away, Coach!
http://youtu.be/-F_tT-q8EF0

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Germany and Turkey.

Fronkenshteen
Member

This just in: Embolo is fucking FAST.

Senor Weaselo
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Aww, Switzerland just tied Romania at 1.

Sharkbait
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Sharkbait

Are we not rooting for other people’s money and utility knives?

Fronkenshteen
Member

When I have no horse in the race, I watch the anthems & root for the uglier team.
This one was easy. Go yellow guys!

Senor Weaselo
Member

Due to ancestry, I’m rooting for Italy, Romania, and whoever plays Turkey. Which is why I got to do those previews!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Let’s go back further and all root (ROOT) for the central African teams.

Fronkenshteen
Member

Such a mighty wallop.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
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Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

They may put up a good fight against Oakland, but everyone knows it’s only a matter of time before the Lannisters strike them down.

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ThursdaySkyGoddess
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ThursdaySkyGoddess

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is a large Brady face; do not like large Brady face.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
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Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

I may have made it a touch too large. I’ll do better next time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s fine; it adds edge to the hate.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also I am not someone who should be saying anything about posting too large of an image.

Beerguyrob
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Really needs a “Participant – Red Wedding” banner.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
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Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Quality stuff. It’s been a while since Hodor made an appearance. I was starting to miss him.

Fronkenshteen
Member

“This is BULLSHIT!!”

[throws book across room]

[sobs]

– Dwayne Allen

yeah right
Member

Since Oakland is playing in the swamp does that mean they’re now owned by the Reeds?

jjfozz
Member

Couldn’t finish the books, couldn’t finish the show. I know, I don’t get it.

/stumbles back to cave
//rereads Lord of the Rings

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water
Member
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Never read the books and just recently started the show. I’m enjoying it so far but I completely see why some people don’t. It’s 95% talking, 5% action and even the action isn’t that gripping.

jjfozz
Member

And you know what I really fucking hated about the books? Martin’s need to describe each and every coat of arms carried by whatever character entered the scene. Don’t care, Martin. Well, if the coat of arms was boobs and bourbon, then fine, describe away.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I too did not enjoy the style of the books at all. I am still enjoying the show.

Covalent Blonde
Member

It’s natural to not get attached to Fleener knowing he is going to die in the next chapter, right?

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