Your “Weekend’s Coming” Wednesday Open Thread

As The Maestro has pointed out in his excellent CFL Beat, this Friday is a Canadian holiday – specifically, Canada Day, a reminder that true independence is an arduous 118-year process. And, I’m given to believe the US is engaging in a weekend of car & mattress sales in advance of July 4th. So if we don’t see you until after Iceland has devastated France, have a nice weekend. I plan on both selling (Friday & Saturday night) and drinking beer (Sunday).


NFL Notes:

That’ll buy a lotta new teeth.
  • Doug Baldwin signed a 4-year extension worth $46 million. There’s also several stories about his long road to the NFL, included seemingly as puff to validate the Hawks decision. Because they’ve had such terrible luck with undersized receivers before.
  • Not to be outdone, HODOR managed to get himself $140 million over 6 years from Jim Irsay. That’s gonna cut into his Vicodin supply a tad.
  • Jake Plummer’s got some interesting things to say about “billionaire a-hole” Jerry Jones. I’m sure we can all support that.
    • I’d turn into a mary jane activist too if I wasn’t as fondly remembered as noted successes Tim Tebow or Jay Cutler.
  • Jim Kelly is two years cancer free. Yay!
  • Run DMC’s broken elbow gets clarified. Turns out, much like during the regular season, it was the result of a fumble.
  • The Fridge is having a rough time of things. The story is an excellent read, and the kid of stuff SI used to do more often.
  • The Seahawks have lost another backup QB to assault charges. One more, and they qualify for a free Tebow rumour.
  • Former Colts RB Zurlon Tipton died after accidentally shooting himself when one of the guns in his bag o’ guns went off.

Finally, not an NFL story, but it’s about a first-rate douchebag, so it’s allowed. During A-Rod’s rookie year Ken Griffey Junior hazed him with a story about becoming high-class sperm donors, going so far as to bring in a fake doctor to sell the point. Fortunately for A-Rod, Griffey ended the gag before he was expected to pony up his first deposit. Unfortunately for the famously thin-skinned A-Rod, the story is in this week’s SI.

“Guess what my right hand’s doing right now?”

Bet you expected someone else’s picture.

Random musings on other sports:

  • The other big deal this Friday is that the NHL free agency window opens at noon. Much like the NFL date, big deals are expected out of the gate, but there’s relatively little actual big-name talent available once you get past Steve Stamkos.
  • Maria Sharapova has enrolled at Harvard business school. Expect “Sharapova schoolgirl” searches on google to go way up.
  • Zlatan is expected to sign with ManU by the end of the week.

Tonight’s sports:

  • ESPN – College World Series: Finals Game 3: Arizona vs. Coastal Carolina – 8:00
    • series tied 1-1; winner-take-all
  • NBC – U.S. Olympic Trials: Swimming finals
    • women’s 200m IM and 200m free, and the men’s 200m fly.

I was a competitive swimmer in high school, and roomed with a future rowing (Men’s 8s) Olympian, so that’s why it’s been included every night this week.

Sorry it’s rather short today. Once I start teaching summer school, I don’t have as much free time to put things together. Plus, I decided to take a break in the day and go hiking with my 20-month-old Berner named Riga. I’m sure you’ll agree,IMG_0337

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WORTH IT!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Brick Meathook

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Wakezilla

Me to wife: Sorry, I didn’t do any work projects like I promised today. I’ll haul ass tomorrow.
*crosses fingers*
Mrs Wakezilla: How come?
Me: Those fucks traded Subban?
Mrs. Wakezilla: WTF!? . . . Take all the time you need.

That’s true love.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Wakezilla

I wish I was sad. I’m full of (wine) piss and vinegar.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
BrettFavresColonoscopy

If I may rant briefly, as I mentioned, I drove from SF to Sacramento tonight. I have to be up in 6 hours and am not thrilled about it. More importantly, I had to drive because the guy flying up from LA to do these meetings with me was supposed to drive but realized when he got to the rental car place that his driver’s license had expired. And I had flown out here from the east coast yesterday morning, so I’m a little tired and cranky. In conclusion, fuck people.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook

BEST BOND GIRL EVER: JILL ST JOHN

BEST BOND MOVIE EVER: DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER

COME FIGHT ME BRO

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I WILL CUT INTO PIECES!

Brick Meathook

Errrr….. Is that a Yes or a No??????

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook

I’m gonna count that as a Yes vote!

Wakezilla
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who holds the record for being the subject of the most SI stories about down on his luck former athletes? This is at least the second big one on the Fridge. I’m sure there have been at least two on Pete Rose. Who else is in the running? OJ?

Brick Meathook

Ryan Leaf

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Art Schlichter…
Lawrence Taylor…
etc., etc., etc. …..

Brick Meathook

Denny McLain has to be up there somewhere…

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Parents of the month in Arizona.

http://newsok.com/article/5507140

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anybody still awake? I just drove from SF to Sacramento and am not quite ready to crash.

Brick Meathook

Maybe, maybe not…

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook

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laserguru

Survey says!

No surgery!

I’ve got substantial deterioration of the meniscus in my right knee, practically none left.

It’s a good news bad news type of thing.

The bad news is, these are the knees I’ve got to deal with from here forward.

The good news is?

I’ve been released into the wild!
No PT.
No more surgeries, as of now.
No follow ups.

He gave me a cortisone shot and said, “I’ll see you if you need me.”

I’m gonna get back to basics and tear this world a brand new asshole.

One limp at a time.

I feel good with this.

Getting old is a motherfucker, kids!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good! Just don’t tear anything else while tearing a new asshole.

http://66.media.tumblr.com/62780e6cfc998fc6ce6daa3d69ad4156/tumblr_ntfhcsVmhC1ubfgh6o1_500.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Wow. Speaking of Bond girls (We were speaking of Bond girls, right?):
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Unsurprised

Gee, with all the noise I would’ve though the Timbers won this game.

Oh, shit. I was supposed to go walk just in time to be heading home as the game ended too.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

MLS CANADIAN SOCCER, in fact. WOO

Brick Meathook

In this time of strife, turmoil, tragedy, political unrest and economic uncertainty, I’d like you all to take comfort in this:

The Polaroid SX-70 camera I bought on eBay arrived today! $130 bucks! Perfect condition!

I’m stoked! We’re all stoked!! YEAHHHH!!!!!!

OLD SCHOOL DICK PICS FOR EVERYONE

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This seems like a…
/puts on sunglasses
…developing story

YEEEEEAH

Fronkenshteen

DAAAAWWW!! WHO’S THE CAPITAL OF LATVIA? WHO’S THE CAPITAL OF LATVIA?! RIGA’S THE CAPITAL OF LATVIA!!!!! GOOD DOGGIE!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Lapvia.

blaxabbath

I love seeing the Seahawks spend.

http://i.imgur.com/JxLbXrc.gif

herodotus450

He stopped pumping his arm because he tore his ACL. ACL stands for Arm Collateral Ligament, right?

Sill Bimmons

Raul Ramirez: clean record, expressed remorse, convicted of felony penetration, 3 year sentence.

Brock Turner: clean record, didn’t express remorse, convicted of felony penetration, 4 month sentence.

Both sentences handed down by Judge Aaron Persky.

I can’t possibly imagine what could have resulted in these two offenders receiving such differing sentences for committing the same crime.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/jun/27/stanford-sexual-assault-trial-judge-persky

blaxabbath

I thought felonies were defined by a 1-year (min) sentence.

Unsurprised

No. 1 year and a 1 day or more (Max)

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

There are just some things that try really hard to make you justify murder…

Unsurprised

Judges are idiots. Elected judges especially so.

“Oh, they caught me being lenient on sex criminals (Note: completely oblivious to his pro-Stanford shit and Stanford is fucked up in its own way), so I’ll throw the book at the next guy because the public wants that and they’ll forget!”

*next guy is El Salvadoran*

PUBLIC: RACISM

Not that the reaction is wrong, but the judge is a fucking idiot and he was fucked no matter what.

blaxabbath

I’m pretty sure judges are among the last groups of people I’ll ever feel sorry for.

Unsurprised

Pretty much.

laserguru

Damn. Fuck work for being crazy busy when I just wanted to fuck off.
Now off to the orthopedic surgeon for MRI results.

This is seriously cutting into my drinking time!

blaxabbath

You should just get a cart like those dogs who have no hind legs. I hear they make them out of legos now.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Good luck! Fingers crossed for ya.

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FINE REX! Toes too.

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blaxabbath

Rex IS color rush.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Don T

The self-congratulations: that is what makes politics so fucking grating. And there had to be female cyclops on that area where Perseus went.
Point is: shit is clearer now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

I dunno. I think that arrow on the fan has the right idea.

blaxabbath

I don’t see electrical socket! See you dudes later!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Perfect.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Starting a new space game via Steam called Interselleria. I think this calls for a little S.C.I.E.N.C.E.

Unsurprised

Tried. Doesn’t work

JustStopDude

About 5 hours.

If I let my computer go to sleep…it stops uploading. So…do I stay up…or give up?

OH AND FUCKING OF COURSE WINDOWS NOW WANTS TO UPDATE!

Unsurprised

Can’t you turn off the screen saver and power saver functions so it doesn’t go to sleep? Then dim the screen.

JustStopDude

Yeah….I’m really just bitching for bitching sake.

I think this is because the TV is stuck on Fox News and its wearing off on me. I blame the liberals.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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Unsurprised

watchseries (dot) li

litre_cola

Folks, I am.back in Canadia after an amazing Monday in France and a fantastic Tuesday reading the papers in London. However in acrazy drinking night with some old buddies my laptop took a bittle of red to the keyboard and has now left this world. I apologize and am so broke that I cannot afford to replace it as of now. I perhaps will put together one tomorrow on my desktop encapsulating those 2 days. My apologies.

Unsurprised

Welcome back.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

That’s far more creepy and disturbing than Micthulhu

ballsofsteelandfury

Congrats on a great trip! I look forward to reading the last post about this awesome adventure!

Don T

Great to see you back. Think the real final is on Saturday?

Fronkenshteen

My son knocked a whole cup of coffee across my laptop during a pillow fight. I know it’s ruined, but do I have any chance of recovering my iTunes library? Maybe on to an external hard drive of some sort?

JustStopDude

My hotel remote is like half dead. So to get the damn tv to change channels, you got to hold down the button for like 5 seconds. And of course I have no fucking clue what the channels actually are.

So I am kind of stuck, waiting for these uploads to finish, watching Fox News because i am lazy and the TV automatically turns onto that channel when you turn it on.

Ah the life on the road…

Unsurprised

You could do worse in downtown Charlotte than Mert’s, but I assume it’s actually not that good and is just for sucker tourists like me.

There was a 24hr diner though. Queen City Diner, I think. So at least there’s that, but my God. That place is a ghost town after 5.

Unsurprised

King BBQ’s claim to fame is deep frying chicken in BBQ sauce, but it is good.

(I feel like I’m giving cook tips to Ferran Adria)

JustStopDude

I hit up Bang Bang Burgers which I thought was pretty good. I am hear earlier than everyone. The vendor sales guy wanted me to go out drinking with him. He always does this. I’ve told him like 5 times now that I have a drinking problem and I do not drink with clients, vendors, or anyone involved with my work.

Furthermore, so goddamn much shit is fucked up on their end, they do not want me intoxicated around any of them.

blaxabbath

Just tell him to drop off some heroin at your room and get the fuck out of there so you don’t have to deal with him.

Hate salesmen so much. Overall neutral on heroin.

JustStopDude

I’ve got to upload to our home office servers about 20GB of video, photos, and reports…through a hotel wifi and a VPN.

It goes from 4 hours….to 2 days….to 6 hours…to 1.5 days…to infinity and beyond…

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

God damn, I’ve been there. I vividly remember a hotel room in Dallas that you could see Jerry World from, where the upload got to 96% and timed out. It was a .zip file, so nothing made it…

http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/7/23/11/anigif_original-grid-image-16133-1374592549-21.gif

Unsurprised

This old farewell to the troops thread where this guy lists his favorite porn stars in excruciating detail is sort of amazing.

Unsurprised

“This man’s hard drive needs to be preserved for future generations. Hell send it to one of the seed banks and maybe the space station as well just to be safe.”

Well, it is a seed bank in a manner of speaking.

King Hippo

huzzah! Lesser Footy returns to us tomorry!!!!

My body is killing me. All this work, and I still am paying professionals to do the hard shit of getting house ready to sell. They will pry my corpse out of the townhouse I’m moving too.

/ALL exterior maintenance will no longer be my responsibility in 5+ weeks. This is the only happy thought that keeps my head out the oven.

Unsurprised

If you ever have to move, just burn everything you own and start fresh at the new place.

King Hippo

YES. I am glad someone else is down with “when in doubt, start a fire.”

Unsurprised

I moved 1,800 miles with what I could pack in a mid-90s two-door Accord.

I practice what I preach.

Unsurprised
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

She makes some excellent points.

Sill Bimmons

Those points have a lot of areo…I mean support.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I like her, I think she’s nice.

King Hippo

SMART, TOO

Senor Weaselo

That’s still excellent.

Spanky Datass
Unsurprised

I hope this Trader Joe’s frozen spinach is still good.

herodotus450

You might be able to excuse its copy of “Mein Kampf” for research, but if you see a little red freezerburned book anywhere, throw that spinach away.

Unsurprised

ALL MY KOSHER SALT JUST DISAPPEARED

King Hippo

If only the other guns in Zurlon’s bag o’ guns had been armed, they could have prevented this tragedy. FUCKING LIBTARDS.

Unsurprised

Only a good gun with a gun can stop a bad gun with a gun.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, I got my junk caught in the vacuum once too.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Redshirt

Watching the episode of MASH where a hot shot new surgeon had a breakdown. Can’t I go one day without being reminded the Bengals will be kicking off soon?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

A person under suspension for ethical violations: Obviously, the ideal candidate for HBS (Seriously, though. Their alumni is a murderers row of evil motherfuckers).

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“Seems perfectly qualified to me.”

–Roger Goodell

Unsurprised

I thought Rog was anti-PEDs

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I was referring to the questionable ethics.

/Needs better research team

Unsurprised

Oh, of course. I interpreted that as specific to Sharapova.

JustStopDude

That takes me back…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In my experience doughnuts never cooked down that easy, especially Dunkin’s.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Andy Reid in the offseason

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

For a hike with the dog you could have just opened the thread with a title alone. We would understand.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Wakezilla

I’m fucking raging right now. How the fuck is Montreal trading PK Subban for Shea Weber? What a horrendous trade for Montreal. That’s like trading Dez Bryant for Andre Johnson. . . and Andre Johnson is locked in for 7 more years and will go against your cap until he’s fucking 38.

Fuck Marc Bergevin

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Al Pacino’s really let himself go.

King Hippo

But you just got so much MOAR GRITTY