One round of the 2016 BattleBots tournament is in the books! Or zero rounds, depending on what you want to call it. 48 robots had 24 fights to show what they could do to their opponent in the BattleBox to take their first steps towards the Giant Nut. Here’s a recap of each of those fights! (Some are currently available on Youtube, including a couple of the cut fights.)

Bronco vs. Blacksmith: Went as expected, Blacksmith got flipped seven times, lost the hammer head on one of them, and the last bounced Blacksmith off the Lexan wall five feet up or so before coming back down. Bronco by KO.

Captain Shrederator vs. Death Roll: Score one for ‘MURICA, Captain Shrederator’s spinner worked this year and took apart Death Roll which somehow wouldn’t die despite losing the tail, the head, a wheel, and a whole bunch of other stuff. Kudos to the Aussies for taking a whole load of punishment, but Captain Shrederator by KO.

Lucky vs. BETA: Fight of the night. BETA, after being forced to forfeit CC Season 5.0 due to magnets taking off the entire floor and withdrawing last year due to American Airlines losing their speed controller, finally debuts in the BattleBox… by falling off the hand truck. I shit you not. After that though, both bots put on a good show, Lucky getting a few solid flips on the big hammer-bot, and BETA getting a bunch of good pops. In the end the judges scored it BETA 3-0, but I’d say Lucky is all but assured of one of the eight wild-card spots.

Icewave vs. Sub-Zero: Fight got cut, Icewave tore Sub-Zero’s armor up but then the weapon crapped out but did enough to get the judges’ decision, Icewave (probably 3-0).

Ultimo Destructo vs. The Ringmaster: Also cut. The Ringmaster (as opposed to former BattleBot Ringmaster, there’s a difference) took Ultimo apart quickly, The Ringmaster by KO.

Overdrive 2.0 vs. Escape Velocity: More cut fights that still haven’t been uploaded to Youtube. Eventually. Overdrive started strong and hit one of the parts of Escape Velocity but that broke its blade and eventually Escape Velocity managed to flip Overdrive over to land perfectly on that blade and be unable to move. Escape Velocity by KO, but I think Overdrive has a decent chance at a wild card.

Black Ice vs. Tombstone: Not as gruesome as expected, so it was cut. I guess the wedge of Black Ice held enough to remain in one piece, but Tombstone by KO.

Photon Storm vs. Minotaur: Photon Storm had one chance as its feathers were being plucked by the drum of Minotaur when it got its beak in the wheel well, but they couldn’t get enough of the wheel to pop the tire, they couldn’t get enough into the well to get to the electronics, and obviously they didn’t catch the armor. Minotaur controlled the rest of the action, eventually rupturing Photon’s hydraulics making it leak an orange fluid. Minotaur by KO. Also Team RioBotz’s book on robot combat’s on Amazon for 9 bucks if you want it.

The Disk O’Inferno vs. Chomp: The most controversial fight of the night! Chomp takes out Disk O’s, well, disk, early with a hammer shot (thanks to a seam in the floor), but it missed more than it landed and once the disk went out Disk O’ used its rear flipper to upend Chomp more than a few times. I think Disk O’ had control of the fight and would have scored it 2-0 in aggression for Disk O’ plus the point for control, while Chomp got the damage and strategy points (they apparently do tell the judges a strategy). But the fight went to Chomp by a split decision. There is almost no way Disk O’ doesn’t get a wild card though. Maybe Adam Savage will respond to my question about how each of the judges doled out the points, but it’s been a week and a half so I doubt it.

HyperShock vs. Ultraviolent: Ultraviolent replaced HellaChopper whose hammers could break the speed of sound but couldn’t pass safety because of that. Also by occasionally catching on fire. HyperShock showed why that if the motors don’t suck (and builder Will Bales specifically said they de-suckified them) they could be a sleeper pick. They took off Ultraviolent’s lifters, and the bottom plate of the robot, and some batteries. That’s right, disembowelment. HyperShock by KO.

Complete Control vs. Bombshell: You saw it on RTD’s hype post, a flamethrower that actually did something. Ppl don’t forget that Complete Control was a middleweight finalist. Unfortunately that’s because it got absolutely destroyed by Hazard in the final en route to the latter’s third Nut. This time the clamps worked, it got Bombshell in them a whole bunch (they should have used the bar) and set it on fire for 25-30 seconds at a time (which is how long you can hold a bot). Went the distance but Bombshell was a smoking and slightly hammered mess, Complete Control, 3-0.

Bite Force vs. Mohawk: Cut fights, Part 2! Mohawk didn’t work well, in other news, water wet. Still don’t like Bite Force’s all-new setup, but it didn’t matter here, Bite Force by KO.

Chrome Fly vs. Bucktooth Burl: Cut but not without controversy. BB charged Chrome Fly and took out one of its blades, and then its own stopped working. And apparently never got up to speed in the first charge. Which means that the weapon wasn’t active. Which means Chrome Fly by judges’ decision or DQ, either way.

Splatter vs. Warrior Clan: Cut! Warrior was too low for Splatter so it couldn’t use its lifter/saw combo. Warrior’s flipper did a little, so it was enough, Warrior Clan, (probably) 3-0.

Stinger vs. Nightmare: Surprisingly cut! Nightmare got the first hit on the Killer Bee, but he got on top of Stinger which meant he could easily be lifted and flipped. Good news, Nightmare has a really cool srimech! Bad news, the hit broke the piece that controls the srimech! The spinner killer claims another victim, Stinger by KO. Sorry Jim, but thanks for the Facebook convo to up my nerd cred!

Obwalden Overlord vs. Warhead: The prettiest fight of the night. I really wish Warhead went with the spinner to see how many pieces OB Overlord would end up in, but Warhead had this fight once the box was locked and the lights were on, so it didn’t matter. Warhead literally chewed him up, set him on fire, broke his head, and tipped him over. CHRIS ROSE MADE A FUCKING LIFE ALERT JOKE. THAT’S MY JOB, ASSHOLE. Anyway, Warhead by way-too-long-of-a KO.

Moebius vs. Brutus: Brutus’s guns don’t actually do anything, they just look cool. The vertical disc however was powerful enough to upend Moebius after the latter, uh, broke itself. UPS apparently damaged some parts of the robot. They tried to fix it. It didn’t work, batteries were launched from it, and then Brutus just kinda pushed it along although it did also crack the shell apparently. Brutus by KO.

Ghost Raptor vs. Son of Whyachi: Self-inflicted damage for everyone! Son of Whyachi almost took out its own minibot once or twice, but it ended up wedged under Ghost Raptor after one of the wedgelets seemed to come up for no idea why. Once that happened the bar couldn’t spin at an angle to hit, giving S.O.W. more than enough of an opening for Team Whyachi to get their revenge for Warrior Clan’s defeat last year. Son of Whyachi by KO.

Lock-Jaw vs. Yeti: This fight looked over early and a possible changing of the guard. After missing with the launcher portion of the jaws, Donald Hutson went for the Mutant Robots tried and true method of attack jaws open, clamp, control. Unfortunately the change to a spring launcher instead of the old method backfired because Yeti took out the springs. Credit the vet for changing tactics mid-fight and using the damaged jaws to hold (but not squeeze like last year’s could have) and stay in the fight. Yeti, 3-0, but I think Lock-Jaw gets a wild card thanks to Donald Hutson’s driving.

Mega Tento vs. Poison Arrow: Cut fight. Mecha Tento kept control with the big sandbox, but the drum wasn’t all that useful. Poison Arrow did what Dr. Inferno Jr. did and cut away while in the grasp. Poison Arrow, (probably) 3-0, but Mecha Tento has a pretty good wild card shot.

Overhaul vs. Cobalt: Surprisingly cut! Overhaul tanked the hits early and then Cobalt started smoking, but it kept going and going. Eventually Overhaul stopped moving. Cobalt by KO but Overhaul may become a two-time wild card.

Sawblaze vs. Razorback: A less surprisingly cut fight, BUT I’ve seen it on Youtube now. Sawblaze controlled the fight with the plow, but the saw stopped spinning after the first hit. Sawblaze pushed Razorback around and under the old Comedy Central scoring would have dominated the fight with aggression and control, but due to a change in the rules where only aggression with the active weapon counts, all of it was cancelled out a bit. Razorback via split decision, but Sawblaze’s dominance and the fact the judges were split may see it through.

Red Devil vs. Wrecks: Wrecks proved it is still absolutely useless. Red Devil just had to clean up and take the gyrobot into a corner. Red Devil by KO. No, there’s no way in hell Wrecks is getting a wild card. And it shouldn’t be in Season 3 for that matter.

RotatoR vs. Witch Doctor: Shaman sat out in favor of the extra armor in the front of Witch Doctor. It worked. One big shot flipped the palindrome on its head and tore off a wheel. Witch Doctor by KO.

So all the winners move on. And here are your wild cards! I predict Lucky, Overdrive, Disk O’ Inferno, Lock-Jaw, Mega Tento, Overhaul, Sawblaze, and… I’ll say Nightmare. They are:

Bombshell (…What why, it got absolutely dominated)

Called 5/8, but Disk O’ Inferno got robbed. For all they push the legacy of Donald Hutson and Team Mutant Robots (and with good reason, they’re arguably top 5 in terms of teams from BattleBots, behind BioHazard, Vlad, Hazard, and possibly Inertia Labs and Ziggy) Jason Bardis has two Nuts as well, where’s his respect? Plus, it was the only fight that ended in a split decision, and the audience (both live and Internet) would have given him the fight. The Internet is in an uproar. Uproar I tell ya!

Anyway, after the break we’ll go over the bracket and figure out if there’s any way to make a contest of this. No, I have no idea about a potential prize, we’ll work on that too.