Your “Do You Want to Know the Terrifying Truth…?” Open Thread

Good evening, folks. Beerguyrob is enjoying a much needed vacation this week from preparing your open threads. I am Low Commander of the Super Soldiers, and I will be your host tonight.

We have entered that point in the off season where the only NFL news of note now involves bullshit puff pieces, fantasy prognostication and punter signings. Oh boy! Fear not though, as this means were are getting close, oh so close, to the start of training camp, which begins at the end of this month for most teams!

Besides that, the only other notable sports news seems to come from the NBA, in that Draymond Green has been arrested on assault charges while visiting his home state of Michigan. Supposedly the incident involved Green either slapping or punching, but definitely not shoving, a man at a local restaurant. If convicted, Green could spend up to 93 days in jail, putting his place on Team USA’s Olympic Squad in question.  Given Green’s history, this begs only one question: Are no man’s balls safe?

As a denizen of San Diego, please allow me to welcome you to tonight’s festivities, preceding tomorrow’s MLB All-Star Game, live from my fine city. Tonight, Petco Park will host the annual Home Run Derby (5pm PST), immediately followed by the Celebrity Softball Game (approximately 7pm PST), both live on ESPN.  I know basedball is not the most popular sport ’round these parts, but I have always found the Derby to be one of my favorite events each year, despite the musings of Chris Berman calling the game. Short of an incredible defensive play, home runs are about the most existing thing basedball has to offer, and 2 full hours of them from some of the best power-hitters in the game always keeps me entertained. Big Mac himself will likely be in attendance as well, as he enters his rookie season as the Padres Bench Coach. Whoda thunk it?!

Here’s a look at tonight’s lineup and seeding:

No. 1 BAL Mark Trumbo vs. No. 8 LAD Corey Seager
No. 2 CWS Todd Frazier vs. COL No. 7 Carlos Gonzalez
No. 3 CIN Adam Duvall vs. No. 6 SD Wil Myers
No. 4 SEA Robinson Cano vs. No. 5 MIA Giancarlo Stanton

Todd Frazier is the defending champion from 2015 and other than Robinson Cano, who won back in 2011, there are quite a few fresh faces in this year’s lineup. Wil Myers, acquired in a trade from Tampa Bay last season, spent much of last year on the disabled list for the Padres, but has rebounded nicely and been on an offensive tear so far this year. He has also made the transition from playing Center Field to First Base look easy, and has been a defensive stalwart there all season long. Myers will have his 19 year old brother Beau (entering his sophomore season at Appalachian State) serving him meatballs all night and with his familiarity of Petco, is my pick to win. If you don’t have a dog in the race tonight, this kid is hard not to like, and I would encourage you to give him your bid, before Team President, former Dolphins CEO and Pete Carrol’s exact physical description of a lizard person, Mike Dee, trades him away for a box of rocks.

That being said, my non-homer pick of the night is Mark Trumbo. Trumbo has been having arguably the best season of his career with Baltimore, and I feel has benefited tremendously from switching back to the AL. Plus, his years of crushing balls in Petco with the Diamondbacks will serve him well, especially now that the fences have been moved in more.

For a full player breakdown and better description of the rules than I could write, I encourage you to enjoy this article, provided you ignore the terrible “Slam Diego” pun in the second paragraph.

Immediately following the Derby, ESPN will show the All Star Celebrity Softball Game, which actually took place yesterday, but will be aired for the first time tonight. Notable participants include: Breesus Christ, who hopes everyone just has a good time, Terry Crews, who will likely tear his jersey off before the 3rd inning, and actor Mark-Paul Gosselaar, best known as our timeline’s Zach Morris.

Full list of participants below:

Finally, to round out this San Diego Sportsgasm, over the weekend the Chargers succeeded in moving their ballot initiative for a new stadium to a vote on this November’s ballot. The plan would raise the city’s hotel tax to 16.5% (tied for 3rd highest in the nation), and would include joint upgrades to the city’s convention center, which would share the same site and is also in dire need of upgrades. A few notes:

• The entire venture is expected to cost $1.8 billion ($1.3 billion towards the stadium itself.)
• Dean Spanos will contribute $650 million himself, Rog will kick in $350 million and the remaining $300 million to come from naming rights, ticket sales, etc. The city will be responsible for any overages.
• As things currently stand, the venture will require a 2/3 in favor vote, but could require only a simple majority pending a State Supreme Court decision later this year.
• If the ballot measure fails, the team has until mid-January to decide if they want to play second fiddle to Kroenke’s mustache in Inglewood.
• There will also likely be a separate initiative to upgrade only the convention center on the ballot, as threats of losing Comic-Con and other annual events continue to be made.

Personally, I think the downtown stadium is a bad plan, and is likely to be voted down. Between the bad blood Dean Spanos has stirred up with fans over the last ten years, the lack of infrastructure around the downtown site and the whole funding issue, I don’t see how voters will approve as a simple majority, much less at 67%. The best idea so far has been to build a new stadium behind Qualcomm, taking care of much of the infrastructure issues, as well as reducing costs like purchasing ocean front land, and could even not require a vote. Despite all of this, I would vote in favor of the downtown site, if only to keep the team I love here, but since I am unfortunately registered outside of the city limits, I won’t get to vote on it either way!

Enjoy the games everyone!