America: Home of the Freaks, Land of the Braindead

“This is no time for ‘my country, right or wrong’ remember what that brought.”

Lou Reed wrote that lyric, and I couldn’t agree more with it. I’m fucking pissed about patriotism in our country. Specifically, the way many of citizens take extremist stands on it – either burning an American flag, or being absolutely fucking blind to the fact that our country isn’t the greatest of all time.

(And why do the most “patriotic” citizens, who would annihilate anyone they saw desecrating the flag, think it’s okay to wear clothes that are emblazoned with the stars and stripes? Why? Are they that fucking braindead and misguided? Do Wal Mart stores have hidden vents that emit some kind of mist designed to melt the human cortex?)

A little background on how I was raised to love my country: my grandparents immigrated here from Italy and Sicily. They took loads of shit from people who had already been here a few years, got called all kinds of colorful names, and eventually made a life for themselves. All thanks to them, not one other person. Well, the Irish were a big help.

My grandfather was a cement finisher and brick layer, he had lots of Irish guys on his crew. And fucking loved them. “God bless the Irish,” he would say. “They’ve taken more shit than any of us. Always have an Irish friend, you’ll have one for life. Are you kids even listening?” Then he’d light a Camel, crack open a Bud, and read the racing form and bitch about the Orioles.

He also had black guys who worked with him, who he said were even tougher than the Irish. “They told me that I was almost as dark as them,” he’d say. “And you know what they say about the Sicilians.” (If you are confused, ignorant ass people say that Sicilians are black people turned inside out. My father had a patient say this to him. She and her husband were escorted out of his office. This happened about 20 years ago.) Fucking Americans can be so creative with their racism.

Yes, I love my country. I also see the host of bad shit we do to each other and to other people around the world. At the same time, when I hear someone telling me how shitty America is and that we’re a society of violent, gun toting rednecks without any culture and intelligence, I want an eagle from Lord of the Rings to swoop down and tear his fucking beard right off his face, rip out his guts, and break him in half like an overripe cantaloupe. That never happens.

On the reverse side is the gigantic asshole I saw on the highway yesterday who cut me off. Jacked up piece of shit Dodge truck, whip antennae, six Trump stickers, another sticker about evil Muslims, and a flag in the back that sported a Confederate flag background with the word ‘Mudweiser’. Am I making a snap judgment? Sure. I’d bet my bourbon supply that my intuition on this jerkoff is correct.

I’ve sat through some flat out insane patriotic conversations when we’re hanging with my mother in law’s family. Calling them blind patriots is an insult to the blind. Here is an actual quote, “I wish Jesus could be the President of the United States.” Honest to god, my entire brain fucking seized up, I forgot how to breathe.

And then I said, “Me too, this country needs a leader who would tell us  not to judge anyone, regardless of their race, religion, gender, creed, or sexual orientation. And to love everybody.” Not a great zinger, but they didn’t talk to me again – which was a fucking blessing.

There’s rarely a middle ground – and that’s because our society is fucked. We’re so goddamned polarized by “leaders” and “the media” and “experts” that we have failed to sit back, do our own research into the subject, and then form an opinion. Don’t forget those slime sucking, bottom feeding, ass eating politicians. I’m flat out embarrassed by the candidates the political parties shit out onto the public stage for this election. One is a screechy, irritating, wealthy, off-putting asshole, and the other is a mirror image.

It’s like critical thinking has completely fled our brains – and if you think you have to be rich to indulge in this type of thought process, fuck you. You’re a part of the problem; you bend us over, give it to us without the grease, and laugh all the way to the bank. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your crotch, you arrogant cunt sticks.

Those stars on our flag are there for a reason, but don’t let them blind you.

Adios, motherfuckers.

On A Lighter Note

(Each post will end with an event that made me happy.)

I heard someone tell one of our project managers that they didn’t give “one lousy fuck” about his project schedule because it was highly flawed.