Before we start with the latest incarnation of the Giants we should all pour out a bag of oats for the old gray mare that isn’t what he used to be. Tom Coughlin limped away last year at the behest of head office and tens of thousands of fans despite the fact that he felt he was still able to coach. Evidence? He interviewed for the Eagles job, which involved a partial teardown/rebuild after the Kelly Whitening Experience. Now who better to give that jerb to than a 69 yr. old that has a 55-57 record under his onion belt since 2009?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m forever grateful that he managed to get out of the way just enough so that Eli and company could luck/klutz their way to 2 SB’s over the stinking Pats. But some folks just don’t recognize when time is passing them by-as evidenced by his clock management last year. This is a great time for him to be spending time with 11 grandchildren, or as he calls them “smelly runts that couldn’t run a sub-5 sec. 40 yard dash if they were chasing an ice cream truck”. Nope, Tom will be the only “Senior Advisor” for NFL Operations that gets to the office at 5:30 am and makes fun of the whippersnappers as they walk through the door three hours later.

ONWARD AND UPWARD! NEW AND BETTER THINGS! [remembers the delayed draw against the Bills last week] Oh Crap! Okay, okay, some things have changed. Ben McAdoo is the new HC. Mike Sullivan is the new OC. “Spags” is the returning DC that gets to work with actual talent this year. The team that has led the league in missed man-games for three years limping hasn’t lost a player for the season yet! Something had to be addressed regarding training methods and staff and that’s been done. Speaking of cleaning house…Jerry Reese (who should have been booted), come on down!  In a woefully transparent attempt to save his job/fix his mistakes he opened up the Mara’s wallet so wide that 200 million or there’bouts spilled out! Welcome Pierre-Paul (again), DE Vernon, DT Harrison and CB Jenkins. It’s as though Reese thinks, “If I can’t figure out the draft, I’ll just borrow some players from teams that have!” A second Eli (Apple) was drafted, causing considerable confusion for the first one. It’s a bit of a weird pick given that he’s not going to start with Rogers-Cromartie and Jenkins manning the outside and recent signee Leon Hall working the slot. They liked what they liked I guess. They did hit a home run with wr Shepard (more on him below) and found a starting safety in 3rd rounder Darian Thompson. The weakest unit by far is the offensive line and it was not addressed AT ALL. AT ALL!

The hope among those in the Giants community is that the league’s worst pass D will improve to the middle of the pack and in so doing catch up to their top 10 passing O. As always, Eli boys the QB position, The RBBC will be below adequate and OBJ will bail out the team several times over the course of the season.

FANTASY OPTIONS-

OBJ-a top three wr-just grab him if you can.

Eli-A lovely QB2 if he keeps his intercepts down but more likely a bye-week or injury fill-in that won’t cause you to be mocked incessantly.

RB Spot-keep your distance, for the truly desperate only.

Sterling Shepard-This is the guy to snap up later on. He’s got great hands, runs every route like a three-year pro, can play slot and outside  and will see nothing but single coverage in a top ten passing offense. Stash him and thank me later.

The D-It should be fine-outside pressure is good and Harrison is a beast against the run. The secondary can’t get worse and they’ve got some young injury-free ballhawks back there.

The Outlook-These fellas are playing against the 30th-strongest sked as judged by last year’s records and will be just fine. [deliberately forgets last week’s obscene display versus the Bills] 9-7? Dare I say 10-6? I dare.