Your Sexy Monkey, Gif-Crazy, Preseason Football And Other Assorted Shenanigans Open Thread

What a week, huh? So many highs and lows. And the in-betweens! [nudges non-existent buddy with elbow] Don’t get me started! I’m thinking that all you folks out there are simply scanning these words as you hold your snifter of Amaretto and saying, “Geez, Get this crap over with, get to the games and then shut your hole”. Well I can take a hint. TO THE GAMES!

Pats/Panthers-This should be the best game of the soir. Carolina is trying to figure out which ragamuffins are going to play behind rb’s Stewart and Tolbert. Fozzy “Wokka, Wokka, Wokka” Whitaker, Cameron Artis-Payne and Brandon Wegher get to show their wares against the Pats top 10-ranked rush D. As far as the passing game is concerned the Panthers seem set at qb and wr Ted Ginn Jr. will prove to all those doubters that last year was indeed an “outlier” year for him.

Will Sir Tom of Brady play? Reports indicate that he’s traveling with the team but why wouldn’t he? No one outside Greater (HAH!) New England gives a rat’s ass. The Pats traded for the Browns lb/de Mingo, thus strengthening an already dominant unit. [sighs]

Bills/Redacteds-Rob Ryan’s prodigious belly travels to the nation’s capital to sample some food trucks. By this I mean he’ll be licking various windshields after the peyote kicks in. He’s such a character! I am curious to see how his D- (phrasing!) fensive backfield of Gilmore, (a rising star) Darby and others handles the likes of wr’s Jackson/Garcon and te Reed.

Browns/Bucs-Josh “Gosh, how long ’til he gets suspended again?” Gordon should be on the field tonight. Will the Cleveland O be sneaky good this year? The possibility exists. Some of that “Big If” is dependent on te Barnidge duplicating his very not Barnidge-like stats from last year. Like I said, “Big If”. Will wr Evans lead the league in drops again this year? I’ve got a ton of faith/money laid on Ted Ginn (and tonic, RIGHT BOOMER?) bobbling the title away from Mr. Evans.

Steelers/Saints-I’d forgotten that lb. Laurinaitis had been signed by New Orleans. They do need all the help they can get, don’t they? [looks at team stats, sees that they were  middle of the pack in a number of categories] Hmmm…actually they didn’t stink up the joint nearly as bad as when the Wolfman was at the helm. WEIRD!

Huh. It was the Steelers that had the 30th ranked pass D last year. It’s time to hitch up them britches Allen, Allen, Mitchell and Gay. This backfield should call themselves “The Lawyers of Milloy”.

Packers/49ers-This is your one and only chance to see the likes of qb Rodgers, de Peppers, lb Matthews, cb Shields and the like. Are all those guys over 30? Seems like it. That sound you heard was a window slowly closing. I came across someone yakking that San Fran players shouldn’t be overlooked fantasy-wise because Chirp Kelly O’s create huge volumes of plays no matter how lousy they are. Lots of plays mean tons of opportunities for the likes of Hyde, Ellington and Smith. Using this logic it seems that they will surpass their projected numbers. Me? I’m not sure.

Okay, I’m off to man the grill for my son’s birthday. I’ll be with you guys in spirit(s).

 

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Porky Prime

Oog. Soup sweats. Still not cold out enough, I had to push the soup threshold.

King Hippo

I’ve done that with afternoon coffee. Like 47 out of the last 50 afternoons.

/the other 3 I took naps

theeWeeBabySeamus

Something else I can’ stomach unless it’s cold out. Whixh is why I’m addicted to Monster Energy drinks now (Red Bull can fuck right off with their little cans and shit).

King Hippo

them’s made me too fat(ter). I takes my coffee with only cinnamon powder, never any cream nor sugar (occasionally a bit of honey if my throat hurts or if I deem myself deserving of a reward, which is very rare).

Shogun Marcus

The rehab line is excellent. And low cal too.

Porky Prime

Best cheap energy drink imho is the cherry blast lo carb from the Valero station. Usually 2 for 1.

Porky Prime

I cant do late coffee til mid September at least. I add the cinnamon directly to the grounds, just a nipple on the top will do it. I took over coffee making at work since no one there can brew for shit…to be fair all we have is an old drip brewer and the boss won’t spring for a water filter so I have to use tap water with a pinch of salt. I already buy fresh beans and grind them, I’m not getting a Britta pitcher too, fuck that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL…once it does get cold, Imma make the shit outta some homemade soups/stews/chilis. But yeah, heat and humidity suxx when trynna do that shit.

Porky Prime

PORKY GON EAT SOUP. O HELL YES HE GON EAT SOUP.

Yeah, this is where I am in life right now.

Mr. Ayo

Jim Tomsula likes this.

Shogun Marcus

Gimme a shoelace and a Mr. Coffee I’ll whip us up some hobo chili!
Dave Attell, likely via Tomsula

theeWeeBabySeamus

Soup is good food.
(watched too much tv as a kid…and also yesterday)

King Hippo

Dude, you are eating ON A FRIDAY and it doesn’t involve massive amounts of shame. You are WAY THE FUCK ahead of like, 80-90% of us.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I know way too many pornstars by name obviously.
I’m a puny little dirty person. But I’m ok with that.
This is the last one, but no discussion of current female pornstars should ever happen without Kayden Kross getting a mention.
So for all of your enjoyment….Kayden Kross’ ass, everybody!!!!!!
http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7mwi7XCbM1r7bnb0o1_500.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

Let’s make that one a double (LMAO).
She deserves a double (LMAO again).
comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Let us not overlook the Latinas in porn. They’re….energetic.
‘Murrica by way of Venezuela, to be precise.
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Shogun Marcus

Daisy Marie ftw imho.

Porky Prime

When Trump says he loves the Hispanics, this is who he’s talking about.

Shogun Marcus

“That’s why you’re not a receiver chumpadelic.”
Me, every time a db or safety stares at his hands after an easy pick goes wrong.

King Hippo

and why Dad will always love your older brother more ,, smh

Shogun Marcus

Unless dad was a failure too, in which case grit grit gritty grit grind, rub some dirt on it, dickpunch, offense is for pussies.

Rainbow Warriors? Oy! Bruce read ’em the rules.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_f_p0CgPeyA

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Eastern Europe is always funz…
http://pics.wikifeet.com/Iwia-Feet-2074095.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Trump’s next wife?

Shogun Marcus

Too old ain’t she?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Robin, get in here….something just came up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Is wasted in porn.
/realizes that has a double meaning
//both probably true
http://therealpornwikileaks.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/unnamed12.jpg

...

I generally don’t care for women with boob jobs, but I waive that for her.

Plus, she seems genuinely funny and interesting which is a rarity for women in porn.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m not saying she’s not good at her job.
But she could go mainstream anytime she wishes.

...

Agreed. She has a lot of personality. She’s probably the only porn star I’d be interested in having sex with.

Kungjitsu

I don’t think Brad Pitt would have left her for Angela Jolie.

Kungjitsu

Angelina

theeWeeBabySeamus

Some people just like skeleton draped in skin.
(yes, I got your meaning…well done)

Shogun Marcus

Dems is lumps. But in the words of Mills Lane, “I’LL ALLOW IT!”

Shogun Marcus

Bleergh making with the fragkake in SF. He has been restrained for too long! The seventh seal has been opened.

theeWeeBabySeamus

If any of you know this gal, you will gain my immediate and undying respect and…love? Yes, probably so.
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Mr. Ayo

I don’t, but Google sure does.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Luck o’ the Irish…big time.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Even if you do a search for SFW photos of pornstars, most of them are NOT SFW. Stupid google.
Here’s another whom I have no idea who she is.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/3b87769d810a5aae6cdf5bd573d8620d/tumblr_o7nyomMJPv1vn43dho1_400.jpg

herodotus450

Looks a little like Lexi Belle, but hard to tell from this angle

theeWeeBabySeamus

Winner winner

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Kungjitsu

OOOHH!!! Goldfinger started about 10 minutes ago.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How’s it hanging?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Defensive Back Mike Wallace
...

Oh look here’s a bottle of three buck chuck.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Guess who tracked me down on a different interwebz platform this morning?
FML

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit, that was a horrid reply fail. Shoulda gone one slot lower (giggity)

Mr. Ayo

I give up. Who?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Meh….My herpesvirus…AKA the Aussie Nazi babe.
Just as ugly on the inside as she is gorgeous on the outside.

King Hippo

everyone all hype FOAR Cal and teh Rainbows from Austrailia??

Mr. Ayo

Will this game be included in the AFL recap post?

ballsofsteelandfury

HECK YEAH!

Shogun Marcus

Filter-Jurassitol
http://youtu.be/zFj3vXp3R_M

Mr. Ayo
King Hippo

twas a damned fine riot

Mr. Ayo

Mmm, yes, indeed. A proper riot that one.

Spur

Josh Gordon has reefer madness.

Spur
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spur

IF RG3 does good this year, we’re all happy right?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Meh

Kungjitsu

I watched three RGIII pass plays: sack, throw away to avoid a sack, sack fumble. Pimpin got hit HARD all three plays. He’s getting FUBAR in that division.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

While I root for him and Cleveland in that division because that would hilarious, with their O-line I agree he won’t last a 1/4 of the season.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I mentioned it before, but the page turned; you may want to venture back a few pages.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well shit, you’ve said it twice now so there must be something worth looking for.
BRB

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t know, but it seems bad for a Sexy Friday to go to waste.

http://67.media.tumblr.com/c5724f7fcac85839e577d5d8f3107709/tumblr_oawa92OhKF1s3moi2o1_1280.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO…nice.
Not much about Os/Yanks is particularly jocular tonight…on the short end of 14-3 in the Bronx.

But that was funny.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

MOAR OF THIS, PLEASE!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Here kitty, kitty…oh shit.

Sill Bimmons

Mike Evans: Good at the footballing.