Your AFC East Colour Rushing Barfganza Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

I guess every team deserves a shot at the national spotlight at some point in the year, if only to remind the average fan as to why he/she has no interest in watching that team. But we are not average fans, are we? We will watch anything. Besides, it’s early in the season-we’re a long way from “The Late-November Turgid Battle of Teams That Won’t Make The Playoffs Blues”. (I believe it was sung by Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee) Both these teams are win-less and the loser will be making an appearance on next week’s “Power Rankings of the 0-2 Teams” post.* What are we waiting for? TO THE GAME!

Jets/Bills-Many mentions will be made of the Watkins/Revis showdown but on the other side of the field wr Woods is up against a cb (Buster Skrine) that allowed opposing qb’s to post a 100 QBR against him in 2015. It seems to be just a matter of a few games before cb Marcus Williams, who had a pick last week and six last year, becomes more prominent in the Jets secondary. The Bills have McCoy at rb and still managed only 176 total yards of offense against a Ravens D that just doesn’t look very imposing. OC Roman takes all the blame and should open things up this week. The thing is, the Jets interior D-Line of Wilkerson, Williams and Richardson are run-stopping, pocket-collapsing goliaths. Look for LeSean to run outside/catch short balls in space. Equally uninspiring was the yard work of wr’s Decker and Marshall last week. They caught 54 3-foot increments of space combined. It does seem as though the qb that raises his game the most under what will be intense defensive pressure will be the one that comes out with the V.

Ladies and gentlemen, START YOUR TYPING!

*Stay tuned

 

 

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
624 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Good imitation of Ryan Fitzpatrick”

Yeah and me beating off today was a good impression of John Holmes, Phil.

jjfozz

Going in to Ravens stadium, a total hipster douche walks past. I mean, like central casting sent down an actor for “hipster douche”.

Guy in line yells out, “You lost, motherfucker?”

I love Baltimore.

blaxabbath

“Yeah man, I was really down with those people. They were riffin’ with me and everything. Wanted to take a selfie with them but, you know, I’m just there for the game.”

JustStopDude

Dude…its fucking crazy when I go back how fucking much Baltimore has changed. I grew up around Lexington Market and I am just waiting to hear that Johns Hopkins has demolished it for a university book store or some shit.

I’m not kidding, there was a set of row homes I used to get fucked up in when they were abandoned and now they are expensive as shit places for rich people.

jjfozz

It has changed alot, in some places, other places are worse than Beirut.

Hampden is crawling with these kinds of assholes. I fucking hate them.

JustStopDude

Yeah my ex got priced out of Hampden.

blaxabbath

Well, yeah, expensive places aren’t for the poor.

Fuck the poor.

Sill Bimmons

University hospital systems and research facilities are the only things keeping most cities alive these days.

JustStopDude

Its crazy how much power JH has in Baltimore.

Sill Bimmons

Just like UPMC in Pittsburgh.

Sill Bimmons

That sound you just heard was half of my neighborhood getting in their cars and heading for the Outerbridge.

trollsoharduniversity

Fun fact: The Outerbridge Crossing is named after General Outerbridge.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Poor Corporal Innerbridge never gets any love.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

He also charged a boat toll of 8 Prussian francs once upon a time, despite taking an hour to cross.

Sill Bimmons

And they didn’t even have EZ Pass.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

To get over into Bayonne all you needed to do was kiss a Hungarian man’s goat.

Sill Bimmons

Kiss?!?!

I got ripped off!

jjfozz

Fuck you Tostitos, there is no way a black person would have been invited to that Patriots tv watching party

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“THAT IS NAWT VINCE WILFAWK!”

blaxabbath

“YEAH WELL YOU SHOULD BE WORKIN’ FOR MEEEEEEEEE, MR HAHVAD!”

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

To be fair, they did force him into the closest.

Sill Bimmons

Somebody might have needed another set of prints on one of their kitchen knives…

Smithchez

It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine.

http://i.imgur.com/zdlrgbC.gif

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Oh shit, horse collar strikes again.

Claymaker

Roy Williams sips a bourbon, and nods

Senor Weaselo

Well fuck.

Sill Bimmons

Ryan Fitzpatrick.

One of the guys.

Holy FUCKBALLS Simms.

Oh joy

blaxabbath

If these are next generation stats, was the previous generation just like, “In Progress: Football Game”?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Slow White Guy: 5/6 72 yards
Fast Black Guy: 4 car, 18 yards
Kicky No Points White Guy: 2, 54.5 avg
Kicky Points White Guy: 2/3 FG

jjfozz

Thursday Night Football, where anticipation for the weekend goes to die.

blaxabbath

Our rec soccer team lost in the semi’s last week (didn’t make a single shootout PK — the other team hit one; I did not shoot) and I got a text this afternoon that the team that beat us is disqualified (I don’t know how, it wasn’t like they seemed to be loaded with ringers). So I guess I’m happy because rec league soccer is kind of my intro to the weekend.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

My cousin tried the Blazin’ Wings Challenge at BWW, he looked like he aged 5 years eating those things.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

I have a buddy that regularly orders those. Just eats them like it was nothing. He’s a mutant.

blaxabbath

Amazing.

I don’t understand eating shit so hot that you don’t even taste the flavor.

Anyone see that play in the HOU-Cincy game?

Beerguyrob

No, but I just discovered the game is on TSN4!

blaxabbath

I like that we have college rapists getting only 3 mo in jail and that guy who raped the kid getting no time — but CBS is advertising shows that are about a guy who tries to manipulate the jury selection in our system.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Well Jim and Phil have been raping eardrums for nearly two decades, and no one has done a thing about it.

JustStopDude

I did two weeks in a navy brig cause of a rape.

Dude in my division had sex with a 14 year old and got caught. They had him in the ship’s bring for the max time and then he got released to my custody because it was the weekend and the brig in Portsmouth wouldn’t take him till Monday.

I went to go smoke and somehow the kid fell down a ladder well…like three times.

jjfozz

That’s too bad. Hopefully he didn’t hit every rung on the ladder.

JustStopDude

We were sitting berthing and the kid (we called him Elmo) wanted to know if I was just watching him to make sure he didn’t run off

“Elmo…I am here to make sure you don’t get lynched you shithead. What the fuck were you thinking? A FOURTEEN YEAR OLD?!?”

“Well I thought she was sixteen”

“The age of consent is 18 here. You know this…WE COVER THIS”

“Well…grass on the field”

I stood up disgusted. “I’m going to go smoke. Guys…he needs to be able to walk” and I left the berthing.

It took two weeks for medical to release him to the Portsmouth brig. Easiest time I ever spent in the brig.

blaxabbath

This is why Trump needs new generals.

blaxabbath

You could have your own show on CBS.

Justice* — The Navy’s first female black Rear Admiral, Justice Reigns, finds that, to keep America’s Global Force for Good running, she might have be a little…..bad. Wednesdays on CBS. Is it Justice on CBS? It must be Wednesday. Wednesday. CBS. Justice. Tune in.

Gratliff

Gotta say, was a bit worried the direction this story was gonna go.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Usually when someone in red runs by someone in white in Buffalo, they’re eluding the cops.

jjfozz

Bull – looks like it’s gonna be full of shit

jjfozz

A guy playing golf climbs in a BWM SUV. That’s like a double helping of douchebag.

blaxabbath

He’s teeing off at 3:15 on a Friday because he’s allowed such ‘perks’.

Beerguyrob

That Jets field goal from inside the 15 was brought to you by “Mike McCarthy’s Playoff Winning Manual for Winners”.

Smithchez

Another fucking shovel?!

King Hippo

they’ll never expect this dumb shit inside the 15 TWICE!!

Oh fuck off 5chan you cunt.

JustStopDude

comment image

Smithchez

It’d be so Jets to have the ball for 14 minutes in the first and still be losing.

jjfozz

Wow, that huge loogie coming out of that guy’s mouth was amazing to see in HD

King Hippo

how do they recruit people to Jets fanhood? By telling one it will build character, like joining the Marines? Does one not get the hipster privileges of Mets fandom unless one signs in blood foar the Jets combo pack as well? Or is it solely passed down from father to son/daughter like his alcoholism, like “fuck you, I had to suffer, the little shit does too!”

herodotus450

The Glory Days of Curtis Martin and washed-up Esiason are incentive enough!

trollsoharduniversity

I come from a Giants family, but my best friend growing up liked the Jets so I became a Jets fan. I chose this life. I caught up with my friend on Facebook recently, and he’s a crack addict living in Texarkana, so there’s that.

Senor Weaselo

Because it cancels out my Yankees being competent. Also Jets Fest at Hofstra was kinda fun.

JustStopDude

http://i.img ur.com/G6zERkS.gif

Not safe for work…but very mesmerizing.

jjfozz

Instead of Color Rush, I think it should be “Make Your Own Uniform”. Real arts and crafts, like at summer camp. (The regular kind of summer camp, not the camps for ‘those people.’)

blaxabbath

“Tell me more about this ‘Build A Bear’.”

-Michael Sam

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Bergen-Belsen had a great arts program, I heard.

trollsoharduniversity

Bills personnel issues include:

The Bills

Beerguyrob

Every time he gets hit, I expect Forte to explode like a character in “Pixels”.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Taunting”, if that penalty were any gayer I’d be blowing Quentin Crisp and Dan Savage simultaneously at the corner of Yonge and Bloor!

Beerguyrob

In June!

Col. Duke LaCross

I don’t want to live in a world where Kevin James is considered a “King of Comedy.”

Sill Bimmons

I often wonder how he tricked Patton Oswalt, Jerry Stiller, and Leah Remini to do that show with him.

Smithchez

Yep, runs up the middle on every first down. Eventually they’ll expect something else, right Chan?

blaxabbath

After Arians gets canned for going 0-16 this year, Bowles can bring him on to teach Fitzpatrick how to air it out on any down and any distance.

blaxabbath

How do the Bills not have Suh?

herodotus450

A new Tom Cruise movie: proof that Big Applebox is really running this country.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I guess Revis Island is now three miles in area.

Sill Bimmons

ID SAY ITS MOAR OF AN ISTHMUS BOB

trollsoharduniversity

Only the Jets can get a taunting penalty after getting burned for an 84 yard touchdown.

Smithchez

At least Darrelle is doing the Jets the kindness of proving he sucks now very early in the season so they can adjust accordingly (they won’t).

Claymaker

What he meant is that Revis Island is actually a peninsula!

blaxabbath

Turns out Revis Island is actually a peninsula.

Claymaker

Well played

King Hippo

OF COURSE the Jets would get a taunting penalty on THAT

JustStopDude
Senor Weaselo

Give up TD… get penalized for taunting. So Jets.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Holy hell, he fast.

blaxabbath

They should also Boise State the fields for Color Rush games.

And have the games in London.

ThursdaySkyGoddess
Beerguyrob

Revis got TORCHED!

blaxabbath

Is shitty camera work on bombs the NFL’s way of trying to get me to pony up $400 for a Week 2 ticket?