Your Sunday Late Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Sea/LA-Pity the poor Rams. (but not their ownership or coach) They were blasted by the Niners on Monday night and now come back “home” to meet up with the Seahawks. Wr Austin was rated by Football Outsiders as the worst at his position last week. How does one go about accomplishing this? Well, what you need to do is catch a mere 4 of 12 targets for 13 yards. And he’s their #1 guy! Not much hope in Ramsville. BTW, qb Wilson’s high ankle sprain will play.

TB/Ari-Wr Evans, he of 99 yards/1 TD last week gets cb Peterson this week. On the other side wr Fitz gets cb Grimes. The former is not at the height of his powers any longer but his stat line of 8/81/2 begs to differ. Tampa lb Alexander has his eyes set squarely on rb Johnson. I really like both these youngsters-they’ll both be super productive for the next decade.

Jax/SD-Here is another Battle Royale of 0-1 teams. The Jags young D did quite well against a talented Pack team and despite the loss I bet they are coming to realize what they are capable of. Rb Gordon is the Bolts leading rusher with [is tapped on shoulder] Uh, hold on. Woodhead is leading the team? Really? C’mon! I’d just like to add that recently signed first-rounder Bosa is nowhere near game shape.

Atl/Oak-The Falcons leading rusher is Coleman with 22 yds. Yeah, as a matter of fact they did lose last week. I get the feeling that Atlanta’s small window of relevance is closing very fast. Qb Carr and co. found a way to beat the Saints in the Dome last week which should serve them well this week. Wr Jones will of course get his but on the other side Cooper should do the same.

Indy/Den-If you drafted qb Luck as your guy in fantasy, congrats on your 1-0 record! Today he’s up again a whole ‘nother kettle of horses in the Denver D. The Colts tissue-paper D ensures that qb Siemian will improve on last week’s pedestrian numbers. Look for the Colts to play catch-up all game long.

[tips hat] LET’S DO THIS, FOLKS!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Old School Zero

I should probably turn on one of the more competitive games but I don’t know when I’ll get to watch the Chargers win this big again.

Moonbatting Average

Probably never. Stick with it

blackroseMD1

I just had the same thought.

Spur

The Seattle defense acting like sore losers

Beastmode Ate My Baby

That’s some
crappy
crappy
crappy offense.

blaxabbath
Old School Zero

The Ciara Offense, everybody!

litre_cola

I am out of the suicide pool. Anyone else?

Old School Zero

/raises hand

Col. Duke LaCross

Thanks, Loins.

Doktor Zymm

VICTORY FORMATION WITH SINGLE DIGITS! WOOOOOO HAHAHAHAHA

blaxabbath

The weather there must be insane!

blaxabbath

Sherman has to snap at a postgame presser at some point if they’re holding teams to 10 pts or fewer and aren’t winning.

Bortleback

Guaranteed he says something along the lines of “This wouldn’t happen if we still had Marshawn”

IronAvenger6491

Seahawks civil war gonna be amazing.

Doktor Zymm

If you’re gonna name your team after a fake bird, there are SO MANY BETTER FAKE BIRDS! Phoenix? Better, even if it’s a shitty university. Huginn and Muninn, BADASS! The Norns were reputed to have a bird form, and I would be scared as fuck of them.

herodotus450

Hippogriph!

Shogun Marcus

comment image?w=415
It’s an ok skool.

Old School Zero

There goes my suicide pool chances. Thanks, Seattle.

IronAvenger6491

Welp, LA fans gonna party like it’s 1994, pretty sure this was their Super Bowl.

Sharkbait

So they’re gonna watch a washed up NFL star run away in a white bronco?

Doktor Zymm

Which white Bronco?

IronAvenger6491

WE LOVE TO RIOT!

ThePirateSloth

OH SHIT RAIDERS

oh… flag

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Starting the inevitable trek to the Rams’ 8-8 season.

Sharkbait

I swear this is the 3rd or 4th time the Seahawks face a QB kneeldown and they just start fucking shit up after the snap.

New game: Guess how Jeff Fisher finds a way to beat the Seahawks.

I’m going with he mails Carroll fake evidence trying the US government to 9/11 which keeps Carroll preoccupied.

Gratliff

Hoo boy, that was some shittastic football, NFC West.

King Hippo

what is a catch and does the receiver’s gender matter??

ThePirateSloth

Well fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Old School Zero

oh damn it

Don T

Ow, Christine.
-Gene Simmons

Spur

Ok, am going to start drinking now. My apologies for any rude comments……..and yes I meant everything i posted last week about beady eyed Kristen Bell. Has she ever been featured in anything successful?

litre_cola

Bell Biv Devoe?

blaxabbath

We have NOT rude comments?

Dunstan

Several of my sexual fantasies.

Col. Duke LaCross

Trying to introduce the chest-pass to the NFL?

LemonJello

That’s a flag for “roughing the passer” but the shot Cam took isn’t? OK, NFL.

ThePirateSloth

Ok, the Ice-T at the lemonade stand did make me chuckle.

LemonJello

I like how he states, “It’s delicious.”

Sill Bimmons

cant have one without teh other imo

Bortleback

Wilson is going full Tebow – playing like absolute garbage for 58 minutes, then chucking it up in the final 2 minutes and having his receivers make him look good

I Will Dye Blonde

As per usual!

blaxabbath

All good so long as he hangs that anchor around the team’s salary cap.

Doktor Zymm

I have Lockett on my bench. That was a fine piece of football, but as the Seahawks have been shedding the most likable members of their team and aren’t even a real bird? FUCKEM.

...

Did you start Dez? 😀

Doktor Zymm

I did, and he did fine. Though my alternate start would have been just as good.

Gratliff

Oh good, Russel Wilson decided he wants to play some fucking football 3 quarters too late.

litre_cola

Thoughts on tomorrow night Grat?

Gratliff

I think we get one more highlight reel out of Wentz before he comes crashing down to earth, and nowhere better to do that than Cutler’s farewell/get fucked tour.

IronAvenger6491

They’re playing the Rams, so it’s never too late to play football against them.

Sharkbait

Sad Fox Injury Music!

King Hippo

HOLY FUCK what a c atch

blaxabbath

The Cardinals defense is beating up on Jameis Winston today.

I’d suggest some feminists send them some cookies but I don’t want to be trying to control the tone of the conversation.

IronAvenger6491

*Allegedly!

Doktor Zymm

Cookies, sure. But no cake unless there’s a painful injury that he can play through.

blaxabbath

Hey — I’m just being an ally.

(not really)

King Hippo

I will give him this much – Pete Carroll correctly understood and applied the clock application/timeout usage rule there.

Doktor Zymm

“Holding Penalty!”

“Declined…baby, declined”

Sounds like something in a horrible slash football fan fic

ThePirateSloth

Oh man, those SEA-HAWKS chants are pitiful to listen to.

IronAvenger6491

I see the Rams still gonna Ram it up…..

blaxabbath

It’s amazing how Jeff Fisher always gets a win against SEA.

Bortleback

It’s nice to be able to guarantee 2 of his 7 wins ahead of time

Don T

They are playing “Jerk It Out” in LA Coliseum!

Don T
litre_cola

Don you are murdering me in DFO2 and I don’t understand but good on ya.

Don T

We’ll see; you still got Rodgers.
Spray Tan had quite a game, no?
/dodges glass

litre_cola

I am starting to really like the Raiders. Would never change allegiances, but Del Rios balls are yuuugggeee. That and Carr and Murray.

Sill Bimmons

The league is moar fun when the Raiders are relevant.

Spur

Cowboys fan first. Raiders sympathizer second. Tom Flores and Jim Plunkett were the only hispanics in the NFL in my mind for years.

Sill Bimmons

Anthony Munoz would like a word…

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ThePirateSloth

God dammit

Spur

BLACKJACK FUCKIN DEL RIO

Beastmode Ate My Baby

OMGWHATAGREATDEFENSIVEPLA-

Oh. Flag. Never mind.

King Hippo

Jack del Rio. “gutsy” = understands maths, is willing to be criticized my ignorant media for applying it.

blaxabbath

I like that the sports media has taken no time in being just as useless as the political media in being anything other than a publisher of press releases and HOT TAEKS.

Skip and Shannon on FS1 this fall!!!!!!!

King Hippo

we report, YOU decide!!!

Sill Bimmons

BLEERGHMASK

Sill Bimmons

On pace to lose by 100 in DFO2.

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King Hippo

I’d be lucky to get that close. I done been Borted

Sharkbait

My week comes down to Tiny Darren. So…tossup?

Gratliff

Needs more despair

Doktor Zymm

comment image

King Hippo

just don’t let Murray score, damn you

Old School Zero

The NFL should train ex-linemen to become gameday paramedics so that they can lift linemen when they get injured.

Doktor Zymm

New drill : Deadlifting lineman

LemonJello

Couldn’t they use the overhead camera system to sling-load the lineman carcasses off the field? Or at least use it to drag their lifeless husks off to the sidelines?

Doktor Zymm

Drones!

Doktor Zymm

Will I RAM IT? Sure, seems like a legit way to spend the afternoon.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Just be sure to observe Ram Rules while doing so.

Sharkbait

Ph…phrasing?

Sill Bimmons

You always seemed to me to be moar of a Hitachi enthusiast.

Doktor Zymm

Oh, do they make a Fleshlight now?
Love,
Trev

litre_cola

It is just so unruly and large

ThePirateSloth

The Seahawks started their last drive at their 9.
The Rams started this drive on their 11.
9-11.
Inside job.

Spur

Drew looks good for his age.

IronAvenger6491

Is the Rams defense good, or does the Seahawks offense just suck?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Yes.

litre_cola

Haha I was going to write the same thing.

The Maestro

Ahhh, the classic chicken-or-egg scenario. Or as we know it on [DFO], the Jeff Fisher Conundrum.

blaxabbath

If you’ve got Drew Stanton as your fantasy QB, it’s time to tune in!!!

Moonbatting Average

Is Hodor trying to set a record for week to week fantasy points differential by a QB?

Sill Bimmons

Sure seems like it.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

YES BECAUSE I STARTED HIM OVER DALTON

Doktor Zymm

Pete Carroll is the sort of old person that is basically a skin sock on a ferret