Atl/Den-I like this matchup-the #1 O in a ton of categories versus a fantastic D. I’ve no doubt that rb Freeman will find little to no running room so it’ll be up to qb Ryan to find Julio. I’m sure he’ll give him more than a few jump balls to get after. He seems to win 90% of those battles. Despite his extraordinary ability, the odds of him having back-to-back games with 300 yds receiving appears slim. The only other option would seem to be giving the rock to rb Coleman in space. I’ll come clean-I know little about qb Lynch as this is only the second time he’ll be seeing real-game action. For that reason I figure that rb Anderson will have to carry the load O-wise.
Cin/Dal-Rook rb Elliott has come good on his speculated talent so far-he’s got the 2nd most carries and yards and is tied for most runs over 20 yds. (4) This should be a nice test for him because the Bengals give up a mere 57 yds on the ground average-wise and have yet to surrender a rush TD. Kinda impressive. Something’s gotta give here ’cause Dallas has the most rushing TD’s so far. On the surface this seems like a game that might be played between the 20 yard lines.
Buf/LA-In a nutshell, the worst overall O meets the 28th ranked. You’d think that a team with a back like Gurley could at least run the ball effectively but you’d be Mistaken Von Wrongperson. They’re getting a measley 76 yards per game on the ground. Look for the NFL’s leading tackler, Bills lb Zach Brown to have himself a game. The only reason he’s starting is because highly-touted rook lb Ragland blew out his knee. This would seemingly put the game in the hands of not-even-average qb Keenum which sounds like a losing proposition but the Rammers are 3-1 so what the hell do I know?
SD/Oak-If the scoreboards were still manually operated I’m sure the scorekeeper in this game would blow a rotator cuff or two. The Chargers short history (they’ve blown 3 leads in the last 5 minutes this year) and long history (they’ve lost 9 straight division games) have conspired to convince yours truly that they’ll be buckling under to an up-and-coming Raiders squad. On the bright side, Bolts fans get their very first looky-loo at de Joey Bosa. Players we won’t see? There’s plenty of them including 3/4’s of San Diego’s starting secondary. Ouch. Look for qb Carr to light it up and wr Cooper to get his very first score of the season.
Are you up to speed? LET’S DO THIS!
I purposefully avoided watching the first debate, but I’m oddly looking forward to tonight’s debate. I think Anderson Cooper & Martha Raddatz will be a good combo to keep Trump from snapping and grabbing every pussy in the room.
THAT WAS THE BILLSIEST BILLS THING EVER
Shit….Dallas forced a punt!?!
Ryan spins out of the pocket because no one is open. Has a couple of seconds to make a throw. Gets sacked.
Put Matty Ice on a floe.
Just finished my Fort Point pale ale. Debating on going with a leftover Narragansett summer, or gin and tonic.
COUGH SYRUP
God Almighty, the Bills suck
The Ryans hammered back a few too many Coors Lights partying with Quiet Riot at the Rainbow last night.
So here’s my plan. I’m going make an Oktoberfest beer. It nice take on a Maerzen with a bit of hoppiness. Then, I’m going to age it in single malt barrels. I’m going to call it “There’s No Such Thing as Scotchtoberfest!” and use the attention I get from being sued by FOX to sell a bunch of it.
So, first thing’s first: how do you make beer?
How to make beer:
1. go to store
2. buy Bud Light
3. Drink Bud Light, spit it out
4. Say “I will not buy this shit again”
5. Go back to store
6. Buy other beer
But how will I get the creators of the Simpsons to sue me if I do that?
I’d call it Scotchtoberfest and then have the ad be “There IS such thing!”
Go to this place and ask for my son in law.
He’ll walk you through it.
http://www.southbaybrewingsupply.com/
Shit. I have no idea what to get next.
Lots of IPAs. I’m drinking a Lagunitas Stoopid Wit now. Thinking about New Belgium Rolle Bolle or Mac & Jack African Amber.
VANILLA EXTRACT
Huh?
This game is going to finish 87-86 isn’t it?
Now if this Bengal drive can last 25 minutes and end in a touchdown, they’ll have a chance to win.
I’m trying to think how that’s possible, there’d need to be quite a few losses of yardage/3rd down defensive holding combos in there.
Oakland is appearing to be scarily competent
If that means Cooperdowns, I’m ok with this.
Seconded
NO goddamned CooperDOWNs!!!
Why does everyone have opposite fantasy side of Hippo today?
We need Emannuel Sanders and the random Cincy TE, along with the usual King Laserface goodness.
Think of teh hippo! WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF TEH HIPPO?!?!
bah gawd that man has a family, CBS
https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/785207383928680448
Will no one think of the feelings of Seneca Wallace?
I took the home from university kid to the pub to see QuarterPax in action. Wha happen to our defense??
This mango habanero cider (El Chavo by Blake’s outta MI) is mighty interesting, though. May the orange can turn shit around.
And here comes the Dallas D…hold me. This might get scary.
Not getting any of the late games in my hotel room for some reason (infomercials on CBS and FOX!) and my RZ stream died hours ago.
Fuck. This. Day.
Apparently Trump’s comments that have been brought to light this week regarding the grabbing of pu$$ies has seriously demoralized the Cincinnati defense
Zach Martin for MVP…I should tweet that to PK.
Reminds me of golden age Simpsons. “And the Raiders because they cheat.”
Skyline Chili sucks – Zeke
Bengals are the fastest team in history to ragequit an NFL game
I found my radio. Now I’m going to look for the Bengals Run Defense.
http://www.tshirtvortex.net/wp-content/uploads/Dangerous-Take-This-Sword-Link-Legend-of-Zelda-T-Shirt-sq.jpg
Way back in the day, did Eagles fans throw Leyden jars?
After they drank the contents probably.
This Ezekiel Elliot character might have a future in this sport/
He’s so good. I just wish that he wasn’t a complete fucking piece of shit garbage heap of a human being.
That describes pro sports.
I want to kiss that Falcons cheerleader’s belly button.
Was it an inne or outee? Inne’s collect lent.
I don’t care. I’m committed.
Salty Eagles fans are the best.
They were the ones who LOVED this film:
http://byt.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/silver-linings.gif
I don’t know about Arby’s version but Marcellus Wallace there really has me amped to smoke some thick pork belly next weekend.
“There’s your taste. Back to Denver.”
I love you, Red Zone.
Here come Dak Boi !!!
Oh shit, Waddup!
“Welcome to Southern California where the NFL is back after a 22 year absence”
Because San Diego is in Mexico
I’m shocked a good ol’ boy named Lynch is befuddled by all them big words in the National Football League.
How the fuck ya doin?
Got pizza and beer. I’m ?
Alright Bengals here’s to a clean game and no injuries!
I can’t find my radio. I may have to listen to the TV commentators!
Can’t breathe. Walls closing in. Ah! Who put this skin on my arm?!
All right, who put PCP in Redshirt’s Corn Flakes?
And are you willing to share?
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nleRCBhLr3k&w=560&h=315%5D
I’m shockingly sober(ish) given that I’ve had six old styles. What’s next?
Shots, my friend. Shots.
Is Old Style alcoholic?
What did you call me?
Beer God.
I called you Beer God.
I guess you didn’t hear me right.
That’s not shocking. My grandpa could down a 12 during the day, drive us to dinner, have 4 more mixed with highballs, and get us home without any difficulty.
/not an ideal role model, likely wasn’t human.
//old style not the strongest of beverages.
Back when the men were men and everyone else was scared.
What’s the O/U on how big a lead the Chargers will blow this week?
Dak has his first interception this game I can feel it.
I can feel you as well*. Isn’t the internet a wonderful thing?
/*may not be you
I don’t know about all the taunting penalties but the old man in me wants something to be done about the 1st down celebrations.
I feel like that’s a compromise that can be made.
Agreed. Celebrate scoring but not every routine play over the course of the game.
Now THAT’S a lawn we can all work to keep the kids off.
I just had a fevered dream where my Vikings beat the shit out of some fictional team from Houston that WASN’T the Oilers.
Stupid acid flashbacks
It’s a shame the Broncos aren’t playing in Atlanta. People there are used to chants of “Lynch! Lynch!”
74 yard punt return by Miami? Neat!
I love Red Zone
BUT THEY GOT PASTED WAHHAHAHAHAHAHhhA
/inhales
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAH
Not a terrible late game slate on paper.
Quite a cinematic drive by Atlanta
Let’s Do This. Go Cowboys.
http://troll.me/images/hank-hill-yep/yep-yep-yep-mhmmm-thumb.jpg
DAK DAK DAK DAK DAK
That banner photo.
I swear to God this is what I just encountered on the front page:
It really is astonishing how meekly the Jets went shuffling to their loss here.
Does this mean the Jets will inherit the earth?
Hahahaha no.
FIRST (down Steelers)!