Atl/Den-I like this matchup-the #1 O in a ton of categories versus a fantastic D. I’ve no doubt that rb Freeman will find little to no running room so it’ll be up to qb Ryan to find Julio. I’m sure he’ll give him more than a few jump balls to get after. He seems to win 90% of those battles. Despite his extraordinary ability, the odds of him having back-to-back games with 300 yds receiving appears slim. The only other option would seem to be giving the rock to rb Coleman in space. I’ll come clean-I know little about qb Lynch as this is only the second time he’ll be seeing real-game action. For that reason I figure that rb Anderson will have to carry the load O-wise.
Cin/Dal-Rook rb Elliott has come good on his speculated talent so far-he’s got the 2nd most carries and yards and is tied for most runs over 20 yds. (4) This should be a nice test for him because the Bengals give up a mere 57 yds on the ground average-wise and have yet to surrender a rush TD. Kinda impressive. Something’s gotta give here ’cause Dallas has the most rushing TD’s so far. On the surface this seems like a game that might be played between the 20 yard lines.
Buf/LA-In a nutshell, the worst overall O meets the 28th ranked. You’d think that a team with a back like Gurley could at least run the ball effectively but you’d be Mistaken Von Wrongperson. They’re getting a measley 76 yards per game on the ground. Look for the NFL’s leading tackler, Bills lb Zach Brown to have himself a game. The only reason he’s starting is because highly-touted rook lb Ragland blew out his knee. This would seemingly put the game in the hands of not-even-average qb Keenum which sounds like a losing proposition but the Rammers are 3-1 so what the hell do I know?
SD/Oak-If the scoreboards were still manually operated I’m sure the scorekeeper in this game would blow a rotator cuff or two. The Chargers short history (they’ve blown 3 leads in the last 5 minutes this year) and long history (they’ve lost 9 straight division games) have conspired to convince yours truly that they’ll be buckling under to an up-and-coming Raiders squad. On the bright side, Bolts fans get their very first looky-loo at de Joey Bosa. Players we won’t see? There’s plenty of them including 3/4’s of San Diego’s starting secondary. Ouch. Look for qb Carr to light it up and wr Cooper to get his very first score of the season.
Are you up to speed? LET’S DO THIS!
Ok, let’s approach this anatomically.
Can you actually “grab” someone by the kitty? I mean, wouldn’t that be like picking up a bowling ball with just your thumb?
You’re supposed to grab them by the pussy and asshole like a six pack.
But, yes, you can also grab a woman by the pussy.
This is a question for the experts:
“Paging Dr. Roethlisburger…..Paging Dr. Dr. Roethlisburger…”
In my work fantasy league this week I’m playing the last-lace guy who always forgets to set lineups and make waiver claims.
Marcus Mariota, Sammie Coates, and Theo Riddick later I’m down by over 100. I hate football.
THIS BENGALS D I CALL THE MAGINOT LINE BECAUSE THEY’RE IMMOBILE, INEFFECTIVE AND IN THE WRONG PLACE.
Found this summary of the first quarter of the Bolts-Raiders game…
Silver lining: think of the assholes whose political careers will be over after this election.
Christie, Guiliani, Gingrich (finally!), Carson, McCrory, etc.
non-silver lining: single-party systems typically don’t end too well
Observation: It’s possible to have more than two parties
Pffft. You wish.
The first three were already basically done, which is why they latched on to Trump in the first place.
Ouch. Dak got planted
I haven’t seen a Dalton take a dive into the turf like that since Patrick Swayze’s funeral.
Jesus Christ
I can’t believe my eyes. The Dallas defense is actually getting pressure on a QB???
Dallas has a defense?
Oh shit, the Bengals realized they can just run up the middle all day.
Bacon tater tots? Oh you twisted my arm.
Gluten free and non-GMO I’m sure.
So grateful the Iggles got rid of Shady.
Apparently on Facebook Trump is calling the debate rigged already. I’m almost sad I’ll be at a Giants bar and will miss it.
They’ve rigged it by making him so much of an idiot that he has no chance of winning. So unfair.
His microphone is broken ALREADY? Where was he grabbing it?
You think he was unprepared for the last debate? For this one, he’s had to contend with his taxes being leaked, Pence upstaging him, and then the pussy-grabbing. I’d bet my cat that he has spent less than 5 minutes on debate prep since the faux town-hall they held for him last weekend–which he bailed on after a half hour.
He’s not going to answer a single question. He’s just going to go into saliva-frothing attack mode. Full-on scorpion stinging the turtle, or however that fable goes.
And he’ll still end up with 42% of all votes cast.
I really hope one person in the crowd uses their question to subtly antagonize him. Seeing him lay into some random citizen over some perceived slight would be the coup de grâce to any semblance that he can win.
This would be fantastic.
I want someone to unfurl one of these at the debate tonight.
http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/051/601/579.png
Is it just that the Rams really suck, or did the Ryan Bros. get so fucked up in L.A. that the Bills are better off with them being out of mind?
The Ryan brothers are re-enacting “Dude, Where’s My Car?” after a late night at Whisky a Go-Go.
Tank is getting pressure that’s a great sign.
please…please….do NOT get Green involved.
Don’t listen to Spur!
I went diving way into the back of my folks’ beer fridge and found one of these – which I haven’t seen in ages but am currently rather enjoying…
http://a57.foxnews.com/global.fncstatic.com/static/managed/img/0/0/erwer435435fdgdgf.jpg
Got stoopid on a bunch of those during a Caribbean cruise. Not too bad Actually.
YAY BEER!!!
Goddamn, Shady! Wow!
I didn’t even notice the Cowboys game wasn’t on. Oh well. Fuck both teams.
I have the sudden urge to watch Aliens from Mars.
I feel safe in saying the Ravens are the worst 3-2 team I have ever seen…
Wait, Romo hasn’t ever rushed for 3 TDs in a whole season? Wow. Mind blown.
Oh wait, he usually gets broken after the 2nd TD.
And so ends the Ram It! pretend run at competence.
Fuck the Rams!
Okay, I’m switching games, this is just a large cat snuff film.
Wait. Which game are you watching? We only have Bills-Rams, Falcons-Broncos, Raiders-Chargers.
THESE COWBOYS I CALL THEM DONALD TRUMP JUNIOR BECAUSE THEY’RE UNFAIRLY SLAUGHTERING BIG CATS.
See I feel safer with Hillary as president because all you need to do is hide the nuclear codes upstairs.
Just put them in a email. She’s good at losing those.
Keep them in Bill’s pants. She never looks there.
SACKEENUM
DAKDOWN
great playcall
bailout frag
Hey the WNBA finals are on
Do they have good fundamentals?
You guys have seen “It’s a Wonderful Life,” right? You know the scene where Mr. Potter tries to hire George Bailey and they shake hands, and Jimmy Stewart does this disgusted look and wipes his hand off on his jacket?
That’s what everyone should do with Trump from now on. Shake his hand, then wipe your hand off with a disgusted look, like he just jerked off in your hand.
Let’s not let Julio run free like that again, ok?
This African Amber totally reminds me of African food (Ethiopian). It’s really good.
Ethiopian food is fucking delicious.
Q: There IS a live-blog for the debate tonight, correct? Because I have no other friends, and want to share the warmth of the Trump-fire with someone.
Ooooh, I should probably stop drinking now so I can drink during that.
We’ll be multi-tasking on here, as we always are.
I’m not watching the Packers game, so I’m in
The Big Bang Theory is still on? *Shudder*
Somehow I think Kevin Can Wait is still worse.
And the not-autistic autistic guy is the highest paid actor on TV at $1 million per episode
I find any comedy with a laugh track revolting.
http://i2.wp.com/doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/HRTN-Sheldons-1.jpg
Greetings from the world’s most recent temporary Lions fan.
The enemy of my enemy…
http://67.media.tumblr.com/245685706c027518483185c1e1efc437/tumblr_n1h9nok2CL1trdzvyo1_400.gif
Did Phil just call him dyke?
Hunh. Apparently Denver’s long snapper is also a high school science teacher. I have no joke… other than wondering if he’s been practicing bending over and throwing his balls backward.
Coulda used that Sanders TD. And that Insanity QuarterPax score!!
Bengals Defense today.
http://rustyharris.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/RevolvingDoor.gif
Is Zeke Canadian? Cuz he having Thanksgiving in October.
What’s with the “eating cereal” hand gesture?
Means something like “keep feeding me.” Started with Denard Robinson, I think, which makes it extra humourous when Zeke does it.
“Feed” him the ball.
What folks will do to get on the Wheaties box.
Lynch is making good decisions.
Hopefully burfict isn’t hurt.
Elliott should pay the fine and rock the crop top
I bet Ezekiel Elliott was really good at Red Rover as a kid
“Red Rover, Red Rover… oh fuck this.”
“You have to wait and pick the right hole.”
Phrasing Pheeeeel?
“Every woman has a right to defend herself with a gun if she chooses.”
Except for all those bitches Trump wants to grab by the pussy, amirite?
HRC should be packing tonight. Hide a .22 in the pantsuit, just in case Trump gets handsy.
Been wondering all weekend. Should she go all gangsta and refuse to shake the fuckwit’s hand?
Definitely. Who the hell knows where those little hands have been?
Nah, she should shake it, and then when she answers the first question lead with “I’m glad that’s all Trump grabbed”
This would be the greatest moment in American politics
I think she’d win the election by default if she did that – no polling or counting, none of your baffling electoral college system, just hand her the nuclear codes on the spot
“The only handjobs I give are to Bill.”
It’s Hillary, she’ll probably shake Trump’s hand with her mouth now.
There’s your attack ad unless you are Hillary’s campaign staffers because they are brain dead.
They’ll just let the SuperPACs make those ads.
This El Chavo shit is dangerously yummy. And goes down light.
My digestive tract has issued a ruling on the earlier Coney Dog. It is not favorable.
Tell your guts to shut up or you’re ordering Indian and chasing it with spicy Thai in the most evil bang bang possible.
Bang bang will be the noise he hears as it hits his sphincter and then underwear, in quick succession
And then cracks the porcelain
I feel like that’s a conclusion one could come to without needing to take the bar exam.
File an appeal with some medicine .
GET THIS GUY SOME PEPTO BISMOL!!!