Your Super Entertaining Sunday Night Football Open Thread

Hey, fellow ruffians! There’s a ton of retrotainment going on ce soir. Whether you choose the debate, the baseball or this wonderful football tilt, I’m all ears and fingers.

NYG/GB-The qb Eli has not played well the last two weeks. He’s got an extremely talented trio of wr’s to go to but his throwing decisions tell me he’s 22 years old, not 35. Whatever. A much smarter qb-Rodgers-will pick apart a depleted Giants secondary to the tune of at least 3 scores through the air and I will hate everything and everybody. That sounds about right. Goddamnit! In other thingys-enjoy the implosion that may occur tonight during the debate.

No matter what occurs-KEEP THOSE FINGERS FLYING!

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Doktor Zymm

We’ll just take all the carbon out of the atmosphere, press it into DIAMONDS and use those to pay off the trade deficit!

Spur

Shhhhhh, DeBeers will kill you to protect their racket.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Shut up or Trump will add it to his platform

LemonJello

This is why you’re the doktor.

Spur

Her Cankles could support many of my great big beautiful buildings.

theeWeeBabySeamus

2 x 3 = http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-C_826ByhPl0/ThZurtpFF4I/AAAAAAAABhQ/FGmK5e5IPVc/s1600/dice01.jpg

Seriously, not fucking kidding. WP, you can suck my balls you fuckers. A picture of a die showing six????? Are you fucking kidding me???

I’m ready to load the revolver and take the pit boss out. Don’t even want to go to Vegas now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

But….
SHOT!!!!!

Gratliff

Well, it probably figures the alcohol is taking effect and reading might not be a strong point, but things you can count may be doable.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck off. I’m 11 for 11 on remedial math problems.
😉

ALXMAC
Redshirt

“Name one thing you respect about the other candidate.”

Trump and Clinton’s head explode.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

/cums

Doktor Zymm

“His ability to save money by purchasing children’s gloves.”

Spur

Hillary doing that coal miner accent.

IronAvenger6491

Flowers isn’t really good at this protect the QB thing.

Doktor Zymm

If this game were discussed at the debate….
GIANT (hands) vs YELLOW (pants) SCARE

IronAvenger6491

How does this drive end!?!

1 – INT
2 – FUMBLE
3 – Eli goes off the field for a shiny thing

Redshirt

My mother is trying to convince me to vote Trump because Hillary and Dems will promote things that are anti-Christian (gay marriage, abortion, etc.).

I have many things that I’ll have to answer for when I’m called before the Throne of God for my Last Judgment to determine whether I ascent into Heaven or if I’m cast down into Hell. Not voting Trump is the least of my worries.

Doktor Zymm

Could you mention that Hillary stuck with Bill when he was being a philandering jerk, but Trump is multiply divorced?

herodotus450

trump supports them even more:
trump owns and promotes the miss universe contest
Beauty pageants rely on and support the fashion industry
Fashion designers are predominantly gay
QED

...

The Christian Right of this country is so fucking morally bankrupt that they meekly supported this fucker and won’t renounce him even now. Thank God so many Millennials are wholesale rejecting their bullshit.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Yeah, this site is the most of your worries in all honesty.

Senor Weaselo

Who wants to bet Trump thinks clean coal is completely clean of all carbon emissions?

Romonobyl

No, but he’ll let his grandkids play in a pile of it because they won’t get all dirty.

Spur

Paul Blart: Election Day

...

With all the money Trump has, WHY CAN’T HE HAVE A SUIT THAT FUCKING FITS HIM?!

Doktor Zymm

All the best tailors are DIRTY IMMIGRANTS

King Hippo

he prepared for this with Breitbart College Republicans who told him that line would SLAY

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Men’s Warehouse had a 2 suit for $100 deal (is that a regional place, I’m not sure)

Clipboard Jesus

I guarantee it!

herodotus450

Maybe he looks like this underneath and the suit is really a timey wimey reality distortiony fieldy of some sort
http://www.thedoctorwhosite.co.uk/wp-images/sja/medium/monster-slitheen.jpg

Sill Bimmons

comment image

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Reasons 2-4 to vote for Clinton, despite any misgivings you may have:

2. Supreme Court Justice Nomination
3. Supreme Court Justice Nomination
4. Supreme Court Justice Nomination

King Hippo

and this was why I never considered another candidate in a primary. This election is the Supreme Court for 25-30 years, in all likelihood

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Well, I was a Bernie guy, but…COME ON! Trump making one, much less two or more SC nominations is like a monkey picking out the best bits of poo to throw.

Sill Bimmons

I was making this argument to my idiot friends who voted for Nader back in 2000.

It’s the only thing that really matters, which is why nobody ever talks about it.

King Hippo

MURRIKA!!!!

Senor Weaselo

Can Donald Trump recite the Second Amendment?

Romonobyl

Not sure why Trump has so many problems with Megyn, she seems like his type:
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/11/23/article-0-0C355A06000005DC-427_468x698.jpg

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Well she has “gyn” in her name…

Shogun Marcus

Too post-puberty.

nomonkeyfun

Too many of her own thoughts.

Senor Weaselo

Who brought up shock collars last time?

Sill Bimmons

Buddy Cole?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nine – 2 = 7
I am 10 for fucking 10 goddammit.
SHOT!!!!!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Also found in the Unabomber’s journal.

LemonJello

“Daaaww, fiddlesticks.”

//kicks at dirt clod

//picks up Heathcliff comic book on bench

-Eli Manning

Romonobyl

I thought he was more of a Highlights guy.
Yes, I believe that’s still in circulation for those who remember.

Senor Weaselo

Most of the time Eli is Goofus. Super Bowl Eli is Gallant.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Hillary Clinton’s face has the same wrinkle composition as Trump’s balls.

King Hippo

I wouldn’t wanna kiss either with my tongue ,, no ofence Buddy

Redshirt

I’m not watching the debate. Has Trump somehow made things worse?

Horatio Cornblower

Yes. Considering the Wyoming and Utah delegations have deserted Trump Hillary could take all 50 states if this meltdown continues.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

It’s pretty bad. Obama, a much better debater, would have shredded Trump by now. I get the feeling Clinton can never quite figure out how to put him (and the election) away.

Doktor Zymm

I think she’s trying to be polite, but this isn’t the time for manners.

...

She has the deal with the fact she’ll be looked at very poorly if she’s overly aggressive because, you know, woman.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

That’s fair. My wife has actually dealt with that at times.

Senor Weaselo

This is a dark day for politics. Not American politics. All politics.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Trump is a closeted straight.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Do people really write all these letters that politicians claim they get? Or is it really a “Dear Penthouse…” type of thing?

Horatio Cornblower

Dear Mr. Trump:

I never believed America could be great again, but I recently had an experience with an illegal immigrant who helped me avoid some taxes that I thought you’d be interested in…

Sill Bimmons
...

I mean, look at what a trashy website like Deadspin gets. I’m sure elected officials get people who write them.

John Difool

THIS DONALD VS. HILLARY, I CALL IT GARFIELD BECAUSE I HAVEN’T SEEN AN ANGRY WHITE GUY REACH OUT AND GRAB A PUSSY AND TOSS IT AROUND LIKE THIS SINCE IT TRIED TO EAT HIS LASAGNA

Sill Bimmons

comment image

King Hippo

God I would LOVE to hear Hank go off on this imbecile

Romonobyl

Who else has tomorrow off for Smallpox Day?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Well, there’s a great strategy: “Whaddaya have to lose?”

Spur

What a fucking shit question. Does he expect either of them to say no?

King Hippo

and then he whines like a fucking baby about time again

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Gearing up for his “It wuz rigged!” spiel this week.

Spur

Bag Daddy…sounds like a rapper

Romonobyl

I wouldn’t mind “taking on” Megyn Kelly.

...

Hot take (?)

I think the founding fathers had it right and the president shouldn’t be chosen in any way by the popular vote.

Sill Bimmons

Either that or voting should be compulsory.

...

I would only endorse compulsory voting if it contained a binding “None of These” option.

Sill Bimmons

You can write in.

It’s basically the same thing.

...

No, it’s not. I want a specific option that does NOT allow for a winner and a rejection of all candidates. A write-in that isn’t cleared in advance is generally considered a non vote and whomever gets a plurality wins. I do not want that to be the default.

...

Nevada has “None of These” and if it wins the actual person who got the most votes is put in office. That is absolutely the wrong way to do it.

Spur

“How stupid is our country?” Preach. #Elections2016

King Hippo

the Russia stuff was a trap and Trump walked right into it

nomonkeyfun

Can you imagine Putin baiting this guy.

http://ep.yimg.com/ay/rnrdist/tunnel-vision-wile-e-coyote-1.jpg

Sill Bimmons

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Spur

Trump needs to stop talking…NOW

theeWeeBabySeamus

one + 2 = 3
Yes, they fucking spelled out “one” in case I’m a bot. Fuck, I’m barely human anymore, I get it, but that’s fucking insulting.
SHOT!!!!!

WCS

VODKAURBLE ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not quite yet, but we’re getting closer.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

How do you have to log in that often? Are you clearing your internet history after looking at porn. If so it is an impressive amount of times for one night

theeWeeBabySeamus

Today has been really bad for the forced logouts for me. Not sure why.
Maybe WP is racist against straight white males today.

Sill Bimmons

just liek obummer smh

Croooow

Dan Patrick looks like Al Franken.

King Hippo

Pence HAS to quit now, yeah?

...

Nope, he’s carrying this fucker to term whether he likes it or not.

Spur

Martha is sick of your shit, Don.

Spur

Clinton needs to stop pushing a conflict with Russia.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Yup. That is a no-win any way you slice it.

Horatio Cornblower

Christ I flipped over from Donald’s hideous orange face and came smack into Tony Dungy’s goblinesque mug.

This is not my night.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I’ve come in lots of men’s mugs after flipping over from an orange face!

Sill Bimmons

Tonight’s nobody’s night…

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

*Sigh*

Once again, Iran deal (love it or hate it) was Sec. Kerry.

*Sigh*

Spur

“Facebook” is killing it tonight as a news org.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

HRC: “What would I do about Syria? Balkanize that fucker to free it up for passage of the Qatari pipeline! WOO!”

JustStopDude

I am starting to suspect that Trump doesn’t know how much power a single senator has at setting national policy.

Hell…I am not sure if he knows how many senators the US has at any given moment…

LemonJello

He knows how many he has on the payroll.

Doktor Zymm

I would be amazed if he knew the difference between the House and the Senate

Senor Weaselo

Mike Pence thinks we need to take our bicameral legislature to conversion therapy.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“The house is what that Beauty Pageant chick cleans, duh”

Sill Bimmons

Understanding how the government works is for SAD LOSAHS

King Hippo

He admitted not paying federal taxes. And he surely seems not to understand how being a 1 in 100 Senator works.

Sill Bimmons

The Down vs. The Ten Yards

TEH ETERNAL QUESTION

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh fuck, all this dog/puppy talk and it took me this long to remember.
You fuckers in Cali especially, but everyone else as well….this is a great cause. These guys do a great job. Contribute in some way if you’re able. Sincerely….great cause.
http://www.kombuchadog.com/