Your AFC South Monday Night Quotation Marks Showdown Quotation Marks Open Thread

I’ve been thinking/mentioning recently that there’s a ton of stuff going on that should give all of us pause for a bit. Perhaps we should reconsider our willingness to indulge our baser instincts when we cheer for our favourite large person to hit that other teams large person. Shouldn’t we be expending our commenting energies elsewhere? This is trivial crap after all isn’t it? KIDDING! For me, this place is a refuge from all that shit out there-and for that I thank all you crazy monkeys. TO THE GAME!

TB/Car-It’s unfortunate that qb Newton wasn’t available for this one. He and Winston could have had a “Intercept-Off!”-they have 13 between them. One of these 1-3 teams is writing off the season after this game. My money is leaning on Carolina pulling this one out despite the fact Derek Anderson is starting. Sure, his work with the Browns in the late 70’s was impressive but he’s near the end of the line. Wr Evans don’t give even one care about his qb’s problems-with 360 yds and 3 TD’s so far he’s gonna get his no matter what. He might do something awesome tonight because the Panthers were the team that surrendered 300 to Julio Jones last week. Say a prayer for TB’s running game-journeyman Jacquizz Rogers gets the start and he’s subbed by undrafted Peyton Barber.

There she be-STRIKE THOSE KEYS WITH A PASSION!

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JustStopDude

I for one, cannot possibly fathom why the NFL viewership is down…I mean there is nothing wrong with the quality of play on the field…

-NFL Front Office

http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/nothing_to_see_here_naked_gun.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

Just popped in to say hello.
So…hello.

Senor Weaselo

You have to start with hello.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3s6TfiA8c8

Col. Duke LaCross

Fuck yeah! GHOST for the bumper music!

Spur

I’m back, what I’d miss?

LemonJello

Just some poorly played football.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

2 teams that seem to be trying really hard to let the other team win

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So , are you relieved by recent reports that Trump is NOT, in fact, running for Pope?

PopeofChiliTown

The sad thing is, I don’t know if he is or not-ISIS! His multiple divorces might disqualify him though

JustStopDude

comment image

Senor Weaselo

If there was a football team that should sign Roberto Aguayo, it should be England.

Senor Weaselo

Wow, in hindsight I botched that sentence worse than Roberto Aguayo. That should read:
“Breaking: Roberto Aguayo released by Bucs, signed by England”

...

So perhaps this is my fault for reading Deadspin comments, but someone talking about Bears responded to someone saying the Bears would stumble to 6-10 with a comment about looking at the Bears schedule.

Really? The schedule that has games against the Lions, Jags, Titans, 49ers, and Bucs? Is he suggesting the Bears actually have a *hard* schedule? Because outside a pair against the Vikings and Packers, they do not.

LemonJello

If Tampa Bay has any more abortions on this series of plays, they’ll have the RNC clamoring to defund them.

...

At least Mike Pence will force them to pay for their own funeral.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

DOINK!!!

JustStopDude

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh my

Senor Weaselo

To quote Roger Dorn, “Strike this motherfucker out.”

Gratliff

From left to right: Alexa Bliss, Sasha Banks, Charlotte Flair, Man Who Made Good Life Decisions.

http://65.media.tumblr.com/68b5eb1030c6b027c4bc17e664148454/tumblr_njcra48EY81u9tdblo1_1280.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dear lord. Where do I mail my curriculum vitae?
I am totes qualified as long as they don’t drug test or do a background check.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

THAT PUNT RETURN I CALL THE REPUBLICAN PARTY BECAUSE A DUMBASS GOT HELP FROM A BIGGER DUMBASS TO FUCK THINGS UP EVEN WORSE THAN EXPECTED

jjfozz

New Tomb Raider game, how do dorks use a controller and jerk off at the same time?

Senor Weaselo

You said new Tomb Raider game, they’ve been working on that the last 20 years.

jjfozz
Senor Weaselo

tWBS is right, these WP captchas are getting more and more intricate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDzgqb7hJXw

theeWeeBabySeamus

I tried to tell you.
smgdh.

LemonJello

Bah gawd, we gots us a real slobberknocker of a barn burner here!

jjfozz

Grit Olsen catch

PopeofChiliTown

What’s going on folks? It only took me about 30 minutes to login because I forgot my obscure password. If the Russians had to login to this site to get Democratic secrets they would fail just like I did multiple times. Unless, of course, they are more tech savvy than me which is much more likely.

jjfozz

I think the NFL should stop serving alcohol and crystal meth when they’re picking match ups for Monday Night and Thursday Night and Sunday Night football.

LemonJello

Jest v Desert Birds: The Abyss Stares Back

Sharkbait

Dirt Patriots down 4-2 after 7

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

GODDAMNIT CAN’T THESE SHADY EASTERN EUROPEAN WEBSITES DO A BETTER JOB HOSTING THESE FREE STREAMS???

Senor Weaselo

…Not that you know about them or are using them, of course.

...

Mine keeps sending me emails from the Secretary of State’s office.

Don T

I wonder if great players will make great plays in this game. I’m betting on It Will Be Said.

jjfozz
LemonJello

Wha sup?

jjfozz

THIS JAMEIS WINSTON, I CALL HIM DONALD TRUMP, BECAUSE HE KEEPS ON THROWING PASSES AT A BUNCH OF PUSSIES

...

Oh and if any of you think you have any clever Ken Bone comments, know that you do not.

No! NO! You don’t.

Stop.

I KNOW YOU’RE STILL THINKING ABOUT KEN BONE JOKES.

...

I mean, obviously his name is funny. It’s a great name. Two syllables, one name. KEN BONE.

But really, stop it.

PopeofChiliTown

The Ken Bone is connected to the uh,… um thigh bone? I didn’t take anatomy in school

jjfozz

Last night, I was watching american horror story, and heard about an object named “ass lock” so I looked it up.

Never, ever look up “ass lock,” because it will make your balls retract into your pancreas.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So it’s not the Old Testament equivalent of vapor lock?

Gratliff

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JustStopDude

Anderson is the consummate professional. He has been out of the league how many years and in the first series, he is instantly back to his form.

LemonJello

You say that like its a good thing.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This game gets my attention for the next twelve minutes until it’s el béisbol time.

jjfozz

dear electric company, after bending me over and fucking me without any lube, you may not want to have a pop up window appear asking me to donate to the Fuel Fund.

Because I can’t donate, see, because you just ass fucked my wallet.

Fuck you to the moon and back.

Sharkbait

Pre-marriage pro tip: Proofread the programs before printing them and folding them yourselves.

jjfozz

Costanza didn’t buy your invitations, did he?

LemonJello

She seems…talented.

packman_jon

is stick guy jacking off with his other hand?

...

imma gonna fuck dis gun.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am watching this on Deportes! All the commentary is in Spanish. It makes the same amount of sense!

LemonJello

What does the Latino Gruden sound like?

Senor Weaselo

¡ESTA HOMBRE, SE LLAMO LATINO GRUDEN PORQUE ÉL SUENA COMO JON GRUDEN EN ESPANOL!

/I can’t do enyays? Come on!

Don T

Leave the n pressed and watch it pop up, señor!
In iPhone, at least

Senor Weaselo

For some reason the Macbook was acting weird… nope, after a quick test it’s because I had the caps lock on for Gruden.

Spanky Datass

Senor Wences … ‘S Allright?

Don T

The coverage is very good. Just the game and facts about players with natural human emotions during noteworthy plays.
Plus, Roberto Garza in studio trying to rock a suit makes me smile.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I should clarify, it makes the same amount of sense TO ME.

Doktor Zymm

I’ll be playing tennis for the next hour or so…I assume the game will be essentially over by the time I get back. That seems to be the way with Monday night games.

packman_jon
packman_jon

(from 0:21 to 0:35)

MR F

Barry Foster did that in a game against 49ers in the 90’s. As a Stiller fan, I still remember it vividly

Gratliff
Col. Duke LaCross

God bless Miss Bliss

...

She seems nice.

Unsurprised

With Cam out, at least the CW will be airing a Superman tonight.

Unsurprised

I don’t have a problem with the public/private comment by Clinton in the speeches.

I have a problem with Clinton and the Democrats tolerating the need for the private two-faced duplicity by the Republicans to get done because they only think in the short run. In the long term they would be better off destroying each other publicly and privately.

yeah right

I’m not ashamed to say this:

Fuck it, I’m watching baseball!

Senor Weaselo

Please Dirt Browns… please end this tonight.

Gratliff

Let’s see how the RNC is doing this evening:

http://67.media.tumblr.com/b4a40464f51f7770ff6d5fa5875dbe51/tumblr_oaxq6qwoeU1sbzhteo1_500.gif

Back to you, Jim.

Unsurprised

Cowards and losers, all of them. Not a single one willing to admit responsibility and culpability for this shitstorm.

I love it.

Spur

Gents.

Unsurprised

Sorry. None to be had here.

packman_jon

Theres the door

Senor Weaselo

Wait, Oliver Perez? You mean THAT Oliver Perez? He’s still in the league?

/Gets entire vat of acid thrown at him

Don T

Despite being That Guy reservations, here goes:
-NFC South. NFC
-Yah, the AFC South still blows. BUT,
http://m.quickmeme.com/img/8e/8e4bc17b07b77590c6094beb7744c50382fd2b7de66e27bcc0ccd8f747440fd1.jpg

Unsurprised

The battle of communities that Sherman should’ve burned to the ground.

Unsurprised

Reconstruction, or the failure of it, is further evidence of failures when confronted with the reality that the handful of successful modern counterinsurgency actions have had to rely on the only strategy that ever worked, going back to ancient history.

You have to kill everyone.

Senor Weaselo

I’ve thought about going out to see an acquaintance play fiddle but I don’t want to go alone. So far I’m on my 12th person asked. I wish I was joking about that.

Unsurprised

You’re a musician. Can you join them and play second fiddle?

Senor Weaselo

It’s the person I know’s band, it’s not a jam, and I don’t know my bluegrass.

Shogun Marcus

I’ll be sure to tip my waitress.

Unsurprised

For a single man I sure do rack up the dad jokes.

Senor Weaselo

It went woosh on me at first, well played.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Like my great grandma always told me, never bet against horse balls coming out on top

Senor Weaselo

I’d ask about the context, but I really don’t want to know.

ballsofsteelandfury

If it wasn’t for my horrible fantasy teams, I really would not be one bit interested in this game.

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