Your Early Afternoon/Late Morning NFL Games Open Thread

KC/Ind-The last time these folks met (January 2014) KC was up 28 points before qb Luck was channelled by the memory of Frank Reich (history!) and pulled out a ridiculous 45-44 playoff victory. KC needs this one to keep pace with Oakland and Denver. Indy could lose this one and still be in the mix of things in the mire that is the AFC South.

Oak/TB-The Raiders stayed in Florida after last week’s win over the Jags. They’re trying to acquire an identity as a team that wins on the road and are doing quite well in that regard. Congrats to those of you that picked up rb Rodgers just before he racked up his first two career 100 yard games. All it takes to be successful in this league is to not be liked in both Atlanta and Chicago. Wr Evans is a beast but he has to rely on a gang of not-Who’s Who to take the pressure off. Good luck, guys like Shepard, Shorts, Humphries and Martino-it’s not as though you’ll get by on talent. [I’m well aware that I am an old white guy laying on a couch]

Sea/NO-Many a te Graham owner wishes oh-so-dearly that this one turns into a shoot-out. Here’s a line you don’t see often-Seattle is 1-1-1 on the road. No, that isn’t a fan sign missing the “D”. I’m guessing this is another game where the road team does anything they want on the ground/through the air and Bree does his best to cauterize the gaping wound.

Det/Hou-Texans fans (wha?) are hoping that rb Miller can go today otherwise they’re gonna get The (Alfred) Blue (‘s). Lions qb Chunky von Suetpants has put on his big boy apron and will most likely get a big-ass contract at the end of this year. His 15/4 TD/INT stat speaks volumes as to how well he’s playing-and that’s with no run game to speak of. Who would have guessed that feeding the ball to Megatron 15+ times per week might limit your game? Yes, I’m sure all you Lions fans out there [sound of a soundless vacuum] will tell me of the myriad reasons why he’s upped his game. [waits] Okay, perhaps qb Osweiler could learn a thing or two from Chunky by not targeting wr Hopkins so much. As things are, Hopkins ends each day with the following prayer-“Dear Lord, help me to grow 8 inches overnight so that I might have a chance to catch all the balls that sail over my head. Amen”.

NYJ/Cle-If you’re currently incarcerated in a CIA “black site” in the northern part of Yemen, this is the game you’ll be seeing as a non-stop loop of Carly Rae Jepsen’s greatest hit plays. I advocated for something from the Insane Clown Posse’s early work but was out-voted. Sorry for your luck.

NE/Buf-Will the Billys bounce back or do they show their Cindy Lauper-approved True Colors? (timely reference, huh?) They’ll have to do it without rb McCoy so that makes the next man up someone called Mike Gillillesseealyho. Hmm, sounds Somoan or something. The stupid Pats will likely roll over Buffalo using some tactic that they’ll be punished for two years from now.

Ari/Car-THIS IS ONE HELL OF A GAME!…last year. Now it’s a battle to see which team can fall the furthest from pre-season expectations. Carolina is in the lead but I wouldn’t count out a coach that can’t figure out how to get his best player (rb Johnson) 25+ touches per game.

Alright…LET THOSE FINGERS FLY!!!