Your “Ain’t No Battle Like An NFC South Battle” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

Man, it’s already Week 9? Where did the time go? [looks at several empty bottles of scotch on the mantle] Oh, right. TO THE GAME!

Atl/TB-The Bucs D was on the field for a leg muscle-sapping 94 plays last week against a high-powered Raiders team-now they get the Falcons and their 30+ points per game O. This might not turn out well. But at least they can depend on the running game? Hah! The starting guy-no matter who he is-is a fourth stringer. I’m hoping it’s Antone Smith, the guy I picked up in my deep fantasy league when I was forced to drop Mr. Jamaal Charles. The “Glass Half Full Report” tells me that the fella has 4.3 forty speed and if qb Winston is forced to check down because the entire Falcons secondary is hanging around with wr Evans, then maybe something good might happen. The other secondary, especially cb Grimes, is hoping that wr Julio is limping and won’t take them down to the schoolyard. Look for a few longer shots from qb Ryan though. Pro Football Focus rates him as the best deep passer in the league and of his 721 yards on passes over 20 yards Julio has 39% of them. Hey Matty, as you learned last week, wr Sanu just might be open.

There it is. Oh, one other thing. Be sure to check out Free Ballin’ Football’s latest podcast here. Did Bill’s rash finally clear up? Did Nick really hit on his girlfriend’s mother at the Halloween party? Has Josh’s anti anti-deodorant protest alienated even more co-workers? Will Tim’s step-uncle finally sit him down for “the birds and the bees” talk? For the answer to these questions and some salient jibber-jabber about NFL football give ‘er a listen with the old ear holes.

LET’S DO THIS!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

Some 40 year-old shut-in has masturbated to this gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t be ashamed.

Unsurprised

I’m only 37!

Brocky

I’m only 32 you asshole

King Hippo

Thunder Muscle??

Brocky

That’s good hustle!

Donald Trump

Unsurprised

I’ve eaten more pussy than Donald Trump has

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It would be pretty funny if the Buccaneers turned around and broke the Raiders’ newly set penalty record.

King Hippo

they certain;ly are giving it the old college try

King Hippo

It would be fun to start a restaurant chain based on the concept of the alcoholic’s breakfast.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Thursday Night Football: Not as bad as Jeff Dahmer”

Unsurprised

False

Brocky

The fact of the matter is that as a resident of Indiana, I consider it a personal insult that anyone would support a ticket with Mike Pence on it

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brocky

That’s not an opinion. It’s a fact. You may have the opinion that I’m not justified in feeling that way, but that does not change how I feel

King Hippo

there have been many sad, declined penalties in this fixture

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Thursday Night Football: CTE never takes a day off”

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah Cris, god forbid anyone hold Jameis Winston back.

King Hippo

HARF!!!

Beerguyrob

Why not the creamiscle color rush uniforms?

http://www.toddradom.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/BUCS_LOGO.jpg

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Thursday Night Football: Fuck the Color Blind”

WCS

“Thursday Night Football: Fuck You, You’ll Still Watch”

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

As one of those colorblind people, this actually isn’t too bad. It does look awful like every Color Rush game.

Beerguyrob

Thursday Night Football: the visual equivalent of a Sudbury Saturday Night

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sl751CDdRZI

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

A Soo Steamer.

Beerguyrob

A Wawa Wankfest.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

A Peterborough Pumpfest

Horatio Cornblower

My son is trying to set his line-up and replace his defense, which has a bye. He just asked if he should drop “this extra kicker, Josh Brown?”

Me: “Yeah, go ahead, I don’t think he’s going to do much this year.”

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

That’s funny, usually Josh Brown is the one doing the dropping.

herodotus450

In the unedited, unreleased version of this comment, your son claims he never drafted Brown in the first place.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Thursday Night Football, sometimes you need a shitty tug job before you get to the good stuff”

Unsurprised

Unfortunately, at this point you just have a bloody stub and a gf with carpal tunnel

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Thursday Night Football, because you degenerates will watch anything”

King Hippo

/raises hand enthusiastically

//FUCK YOU, at least it’s not el beisbol

litre_cola

Are you saying we are going to watch the hell out of next Thursday’s matchup?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Thursday Night Football brought to you by wet farts

litre_cola

Hello commentists, I am once again away for work in nowhereville Canadia, it is better than being at my desk dealing with lazy Union fuckwits but this town is awful. Trucks with duelies everywhere. At least there is footbaw and DFO.

Beerguyrob

Here’s some colour rush for you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtySGSuKZe8

WCS

Thisclose to being as good as the Butt Fumble.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

The ref falling on his ass just afterward puts it on par with the Butt Fumble for me.

King Hippo

I dare say even better. For one, I saw it in real time and laughed about it with you fellow chucklefucks.

King Hippo

if you’re gonna sneak, maybe don’t line your back up such to make it so goddamned obvious.

Sharkbait

I just introduced a co worker to MST3k. I think I just killed all his productivity for the rest of his shift.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The really scary part is that he’s a trauma surgeon.

Unsurprised

Diabolical

Re: TNF matchups, I’m generally wondering if these games are a deliberate attempt by the league to test the limits of the profitability of the sport.

King Hippo

Don’t worry, we get the marquee name that is the Factory next week…

Unsurprised

That better be a really tall marquee

King Hippo

why is Fumbly McGee still in there? WE WANT BLACK PEYPEY!!!!

Unsurprised

For a second I thought that said BLACK RAPEY and was thinking “Eh … I’ll allow it.”

Unsurprised

[4] years since Butt Fumble

We need a Sanchenaissance

WCS

Oh, Iowa State…

King Hippo

It exists to make people who went to places like NC State feel better about themselves.

Unsurprised

As opposed to Iowa Consolidated Metropolitan Statistical Area

King Hippo

Looks like your fella gettin’ BENCHED Scotchy!

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Clusterfumbre!

Beerguyrob

For the down times tonight,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsozpEE543w

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Trainspotting 2? That sounds dumb…”

– me, until about two seconds into the trailer

King Hippo

TE points FOAR NOBODY!!

Col. Duke LaCross

Who needs defense, right?

Claymaker

Did Matt Ryan age 30 years when nobody was looking?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sort of, in the sense that nobody has really been paying attention to him for the last thirty years.

King Hippo

I have Mo Sanu in this fixture as well, to give me the box set of desperate fantasy rooting options.

JustStopDude

The fucking cannon goes off if Tampa just “reaches” the red zone?!?

Is it such a rare event that it warrants a fucking cannon blast?!?!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Yes

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s a tribute to the time Rex Grossman got his red wings.

King Hippo

I would run that slant to Evans until they stop it. Not sure how you do, really.

King Hippo

WOOO!!!! Huzzah, black PeyPey!!!!

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Who the hell is Dirk Koetter and has he been Tampa Bay’s coach the entire season?

King Hippo

I assume Rapey Jameis met him by his neighborhood pool, or something.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

He is the guy that convinced the management to fire Lovie and promote him even though Lovie actually was improving the team. So yes, there all year.

King Hippo

no mas Pheeel y Jeeeem! VIVA!!!

JustStopDude

Gonna be one of these kinds of game….

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JustStopDude

What the holy fucking fuck was I just watching?

These promos…I don’t want to live in a world where a just and loving god allows this kind of shit to happen…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have a good feeling about tonight’s liveblog. Which is curious, because I have a BAD feeling about a lot of other things: the election, the upcoming Raiders game, this rash…

King Hippo

HillyBob will win, NC will do its part FOAR the blue firewall even if FL falters (which I don’t think it will). Early voting has gone very, very well here.

And my bad SNF feels cancel yours out. We can’t BOTH be right unless MOST GLORIOUS TIE returns, which I’d be happy with.

herodotus450

Just what is a “shank,” anyway?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[raises hand]

[which is coincidentally holding a leg of lamb]

– Andy Reid

Sharkbait

Somebody’s never been to prison.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Or to a Raiders game.

Spanky Datass

A skank that wears a hankie around her neck to hide hickies?

Beerguyrob

More color rush games…and election ads…

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Color rush” is a pretty good encapsulation of what some states are worried is going to happen at the polls, cough cough North Carolina.

herodotus450

Looks like my intermittent hunger strike against the new layout has failed.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

How much weight did you lose? I’m considering trying this new Outrage-Based Diet I keep hearing about

herodotus450

Let’s see…
/steps on scale
Lost 25 pounds!
//removes gut from towel rack
Gained 5.

Unsurprised

Unlike Curt Schilling’s sock, mine is stained with real blood.

http://thumbnails116.imagebam.com/51313/4745a5513120605.jpg

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Dude, you need to a.) get a new jack sock and b.) see a doctor.

Sharkbait

Hello fellow football enthusiasts.

Sharkbait

That will be me at about 1230 when I get home.

blaxabbath

Scoping out the new drinking establish the fiancée wants to hit for her bday tomorrow. It’s definitely the kind of place one might find Larry Fitzgerald meeting with local city councilmen about their currently-held-for-price children.

Unsurprised

Is there anything interesting on the Internet? Asking because I’ve run out of places to go to avoid reality.

Unsurprised

Cool. I need to make that. But for now I’m content with just having made and eaten four tuna sandwiches because I am a monster.

King Hippo

Oh dear fuck, I have to start a Peyton Barber in my money league tonight.

The lump sum of my poor life choices has never stared at me quite this harshly before, at least without gin being involved.

King Hippo

I would have started Smith, but someone with better Waivers priority claimed him. Fortunately, Barber is at least nominally starting so it looks less shitty than 24 hours ago.

But still….TOTES SHITTY

King Hippo

It’s being “neck surgery Eskimo brothers” I guess, though I never put my weewee on anybody’s head.

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