Your Second Round of Somewhat Interesting Games NFL Football Open Thread

Let’s get right back up on that horse, commenters-TO THE GAMES!

Sea/TB-The Good for Tampa? The Bucs have won 2 straight. Seattle has to fly across the country for the third time. Qb Winston has been playing well of late. Tampa is only one game out of first in their division.

The Bad? The Bucs are 1-4 at home. Since 2012 Seattle after Nov. 1st is 31-6. Tampa nickel cb Adjei-Barimah is out and if Grimes plays he’s limping. Rb Rawls is finally back though there is little behind him.

Car/Oak-The Raiders have doubled up the Panthers win-wise 8 to 4. Who saw that at the beginning of the season? The Raiders have scored a minimum of 27 points in their last 4. Whatever the outcome it should be a close one-the Panthers last 4 games (2 wins, 2 losses) have been decided by 3 points each time.

NE/NYJ-I’m hearing different things about Gronk but Brady and wr’s Hogan and Edelman are going to be on the field. LET THE CRUSHENING COMMENCE!

There you go-BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY IN THE COMMENTS!

 

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Old School Zero

Clearly, Seattle needs to adopt the digital clock uniform numbers. That’s obviously what’s lacking.

Romonobyl

I love it when they compare current games with old stats from the ’70s, because NFL teams are nothing if not perpetually consistent.

Doktor Zymm

Rules and strategies are also totes the same!

The Maestro

A 51-yard gain by Marquay McDaniel and two slant passes to RB Jerome Messam from Bo Levi Mitchell, and we’re tied up at 7 here in Toronto.

Doktor Zymm

Rex Ryan almost coached in the CFL, but changed his mind when he found out it wasnt Toe-ronto

Romonobyl

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King Hippo

Jesus, two guys wide open deep. Tampa has a good turf monster, at least.

blackroseMD1

Apparently the C-Hox have saved 15% on Offensive Linemen by switching to turnstiles.

Romonobyl

Ran a few errands (married life wooo…) and came back to the Car/Oak score. I am…perplexed?

Shogun Marcus

The carr was out of alignment, so they took it into the shop. It’s back on the road, but it’s not handling right. Keeps veering towards cats.

The Maestro

1 yard rushing touchdown off a QB sneak by Henry Burris, REDBLACKS lead 7-0 in the first quarter.

Senor Weaselo

Holy shit, Jets… take the lead? *checks clock* Oh, okay, enough time to trade scores and then give up the back-breaking TD with a minute left and another pick.

On a different note, how is there one couple in Rangers gear on this train one stop from Penn Station and the Garden?

King Hippo

PUSH IT REAL GOOD!

Petronel

Body part math – does one butt = one foot? (WIth bonus elbow?) Officials are debating.

Doktor Zymm

Was it Megatron making the alleged catch?

Petronel

Nope – and apparently it does. (But Quincy Enunwa – spelling? – is a neat name.)

Shogun Marcus

Butt=foot=elbow=catch
Except if receiver=dez/megatron, then OPI, touchdown Seahawks.

evilbeaver8

“It takes three penises to equal one foot”
-Brett Favre

Shogun Marcus

Says you.
-R. Jeremy

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Rex Ryan does not agree with that statement.

Rob might though.

Shogun Marcus

Nothing says Christmas like the appropriation of other pagan holidays.

Doktor Zymm

Stalling on this bottle of red wine. Garlic bread will help.

Old School Zero

We improvised thanksgiving snacks by whipping up some fromage fort with what was on hand, and spreading that on some baguette slices and broiling it is my new favorite garlic cheese bread snack.

Doktor Zymm

That sounds very tasty. A few years ago my father lost his ability to digest garlic. That’s my new greatest fear. I need to eat as much garlic as possible now while I still can.

...

The bitters in the martini was a good call.

Romonobyl

Garlic bread with shredded smoked provolone under the broiler for a minute (60sec) or two (120sec) served next to a puddle of good marinara is a meal to me.
Oh yeah, and the wine.

Doktor Zymm

Om nom nom. Also sounds like something that would be good to put in French Onion soup. I’m not a huge fan of the marinara dipping sauce. Don’t know why, I like sauce on pizza and pasta, and I like tomatoes in general, but I think I just really love garlic bread enough that I don’t want to obscure the flavor. Cheese is totally okay though. Cheese is always okay.

ThePirateSloth

Welp, time for me to start drinking heavily.

Old School Zero

Turns out they bet on crab legs.

Fronkenshteen

Not watching. What’s wrong with Russell Wilson?

Col. Duke LaCross

Lotta fuckin’.

Shogun Marcus

Damn that was a pretty throw and catch. Ginndown.

The Maestro

So in Grey Cup news, Ottawa starter Henry Burris got injured in warmups, and backup Trevor Harris is now getting the start. This is shocking.

The Maestro

Actually, apparently Burris is coming out now. Again, all really surprising now.

Col. Duke LaCross

Former Bear, Henry Burris.

Shogun Marcus

Yes pheel, tell us how you grip it.
/never, ever do that pheel. Is horrid.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“Intended for White” sounds like a very apt description of the New England receiving corps.

Doktor Zymm

It’s also the name Trump has given his new program of tax cuts

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Oh that’s good.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

HAIL SHANK’HOR

ThursdaySkyGoddess

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You just need to add a football in silhouette flying to that guy’s left.

Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm

How much does a kid cost in a year? I’m thinking of justifying my increasingly elaborate travel habits by their relative affordability as compared to children.

...

However you do the math, remember to consider the tax breaks you aren’t getting by not having any little dependents.

Doktor Zymm

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Oh! And if the tax thing is brought up, remind them of how many points and miles you’ve earned via travel and how the taxman overlooks them.

Doktor Zymm

Not that I’m complaining, but it’s kind of surprising they don’t tax cash back as income.

...

They do, but unless it exceeds a certain threshold, the IRS won’t bother you over it.

Doktor Zymm

Shouldn’t there be some sort of tax form associated with it? Or are you just supposed to keep track of it yourself and the IRS just trusts you?

...

Citibank was issuing forms a few years back over its transferable points, but the case of whether earned miles count as income as is a bit more complicated. I think it’s only come up in cases where people are awarded miles as a sweepstakes. So it seems I’m not quite right and points/miles you earn via purchases and travel probably aren’t considered income, but sign-on bonuses might be.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/kellyphillipserb/2014/08/28/tax-court-sides-with-irs-in-tax-treatment-of-frequent-flyer-miles-issued-by-citibank/#1843cf565ce5

http://money.usnews.com/money/blogs/my-money/2013/02/04/are-credit-card-cashback-rewards-and-airline-miles-taxable

Doktor Zymm

And what valuation do they use for miles? Is it purchase value, redemption value, or what?

...

Citibank was valuing them at 2.5 cents, which is absurd.

King Hippo

WAY too depressing to calculate. You definitely come out ahead.

...

Related to this: an analyst on my team has two kids and nearly everything he’s mentioned about them involves them being sick, them making him sick, losing sleep because they scream all night, and so forth. He’s made the worst case for having kids of anyone I’ve ever met.

And he wants a third.

Doktor Zymm

Friend of mine at work has gotten pink eye from her kid twice since September. They are just pathogens with legs.

Gratliff

There is some hardcore endorphin shit taking place in your brain when you have a new child. I could see getting addicted to it. Antonio Cromartie doesn’t need birth control; he needs a 12 step group.

...

I can definitely believe people find value in it and are willing to pay the $$$ to have one (or two or three). I just don’t buy the sales pitch from folks who want me to join them.

Gratliff

My son’s medications alone cost $100/month in copayments. Tomorrow, I’m spending $750 for a full reevaluation, and that’s with insurance. At 9, he eats as much as I do, and burns through School Clothes like nothing I’ve ever seen. Costs about 35 a week for after school stuff. I’ve spent about 400 on his Christmas already, and it’s only ramping up. The woman wants to do Disney World for his spring break since she and the kid never did an amusement park before and she wants something special. We’re looking at about 2k if we don’t want to drive from Michigan, and we don’t.

You can barely quantify how much Children cost. They are a black hole of money.

Doktor Zymm

Ooof. So I guess I CAN justify the two week luxury Indian Ocean cruise over Thanksgiving 2018….

Doktor Zymm

You could use some credit card sign up bonuses and companion fare discounts to do the Disney trip cheaper though, if nothing else all the spend on the kid could get you some good benefits back.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

McGLOIN sighting.

Col. Duke LaCross

Carr, GAHHHHH!

Shogun Marcus

Uh oh. Carr needs realignment.

evilbeaver8

This year is reaching the point where I’m starting to question if the NFL hasn’t always been terrible and I’m just now noticing it.

King Hippo

no turnovers OR sacks for the SeaTruther D/ST. Thank fuck for that crazy ass challenge safety

...

I’m pleased to announce I’ve become a pretty big fan of gin.

Doktor Zymm

Yay! Enjoying the Plymouth?

...

Yes. I usually drink it as a martini. It’s a nice change of pace from whisky.

Doktor Zymm

Caper berries instead of olives is a nice variation. Or even a dash of bitters and a lemon peel!

...

I have the bitters to do that, so I’ll try it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Carolina Panther fans do not appreciate your sarcasm here.

King Hippo

it’s a classy way to get fall-down, forget-yer-name drunk

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I may try activating the Spanish broadcast commentary during the second half.

Gratliff

Aside from the obvious accuracy of the image, why does the banner pic contain Eagles fans?

Doktor Zymm

So….oddly enough there is an epidemic of people shoplifting Oil of Olay from supermarkets in my area.

Shogun Marcus

That’s very specific. I mean winter is a bitch on the skin.

Gratliff

Jameis Winston once again placing balls where they don’t belong

Senor Weaselo

All right, fortunately for me I have a rehearsal so I won’t be able to watch the rest of this travesty waiting to happen, hopefully I’ll catch the last gasps of the night game. Seamus, I’ll tell cellist you said hi 😉

entropy

Does anyone below the age of 40 know what “I Love Lucy” even IS?

WCS

CBS relies on the 55-5550 age demographic.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

They’re really trying to corner the undead demographic.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Broadcasting this Raiders game has certainly cemented Al Davis’ loyalty.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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“I vant to suuuck… your blood.”

evilbeaver8

Ricky Ricardo’s presence counts as an effort to diversify on CBS.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

HALLELUJAH SHAN’KHOR!

entropy

Shank’Hor returns!!

ThePirateSloth

So the lady friend and I have decided to sweeten the deal for people wanting to visit us: We will take you to a weed + painting class one night. Like the “have some wine while you learn to paint” class for middle aged couples who’re trying to be young and free spirited now that they’re kids are grown, but with weed.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Yarr, sounds like a bounty of fun.

...

I’ve done one of these wine and paint events before. It’s a good deal of fun even if I was badly hungover the next day.

Did I mention it was a work event and that I was nearly passed out on the meeting table with my boss, my boss’ boss, and my boss’s boss’s boss were in the room?

Senor Weaselo

PRAISE SHANK’HOR. Also suck it Gostkowski.

WCS

HAIL SHANK’HOR

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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King Hippo

Charmslinger had too many nanobubbles this morning. And/or too much heterosexual, marital congress this week.

Doktor Zymm

I think someone replaced the sound on this game with a porn soundtrack, it’s just nothing but the noise of Brady being sucked off….

entropy

It’s like you’ve never watched a Pats game before….

Doktor Zymm

I usually turn the sound off…but yeah, aware this is typical.

King Hippo

Oakland is legitmately really good. But the Shield is gonna make up with Kraft and Dreamboat, assuming humanity makes it that far.

...

My hope is that the Raiders beat the Pats and the Lions make a miracle run because I could enjoy that Super Bowl.

Senor Weaselo

If the inauguration was also on Championship Sunday we would be properly fucked. It’s on a Friday though.

Senor Weaselo

Will it be more or much more than Kings-Lakers?

entropy

If Nick Folk isn’t taken behind the building and shot at halftime, the world is hideously unfair.

evilbeaver8

The Jets are on the line with Blair Walsh to get him signed in time for the 2nd half as we speak.

WCS

PRAISE SHANK’HOR

King Hippo

Folk implosion?

Senor Weaselo

Jets get the FG blocked, DRINK.

JustStopDude

Derek Anderson just got an unsportsmanlike penalty from the bench.

Bringing the Browns excellence to the Panthers….

...

I’m sure this idea has been thought of before, but I wish football would consider using hockey’s punishment for penalties instead of yardage. It would be awesome to see 10-on-11 or even some crazy 7-on-9 shit after a brawl.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And Derek Anderson finds an unorthodox way to make his mark on the game.

King Hippo

Horse Balls gon’ horse balls.

evilbeaver8

Rex Ryan: Reads article saying Jets are close to signing Matt Forte. Puts stocking over face.
Calls Jets GM: “Grumble grumble grumble this is Coach Billichick..grumble….we just gave Forte’s agent an offer for eleventy jillion dolars and a pony”. Click.
Jets: TRIPLE OUR OFFER TO FORTE NOW.

entropy

No, Jets, the DEFENSE needs to go for the kill. Fuck’s sake, man.

Senor Weaselo

I mean, whoever wants to, kills are kills.

Doktor Zymm

I totally missed the P*ts getting a FG. Or did they just give them 10 points for the one TD?

Senor Weaselo

The Jets actually had a red zone stop! I know, I can’t believe it either!

entropy

Penalty against NY awarded the Pats the FG