God damn, there was some quality commenting done on this here blog this past weekend! It was so good that I decided to take today off. Or maybe the quality of the commenting had nothing to do with it. Either way, I was able to catch up on the history of the central bankers of the U.S. , Britain, France and Germany and how their gorsh-darn shenanigans helped to plunge the world into The Great Depression. I read this stuff so that if I were to talk to someone in a social setting during the up-coming holiday festivities I’ll be able to bore the shit out of them and they’ll think twice about engaging me in conversation for years to come. TO THE GAME!
Bal/NE– Master Brady has a fine won/loss record vs. the Ravens but his stat line is wanting. His 10/10 TD/Int is Elisha-esque at best. As always, in order for the Ravens to pull this off they must put together a monster defensive game. They may be able to do that-by most metrics and some Imperial Standards they have the mightiest D in the land. There’s some squawk out there that says rb Dixon is ready to bust out and that would suit all Ravens backers just fine. To no one’s surprise, wr Amendola has got a case of the ouchies and won’t be playing.
Can we possibly top yesterday? I SAY YES! DO IT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xdxIBNj2sw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypr18UmxOas
I’m relishing the reality that I don’t have to give a fuck about politics.
Fuck you if you don’t like it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfdAGkjHGac
Pack the Futriots!
Did I do it right?
Close enough.
Just checking in to let you know I’m in the Maui airport security line and some old dick has on a crisp new Seahawks hat.
It goes perfectly with his crisp new Tommy Bahama Aloha Edition shirt.
You know that old dick has the Margaritaville mixer.
And a viagra single pack
And uses an AOL account.
He is why the fourth type of homicide in The Devil’s Dictionary is “Praiseworthy”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ts7FQaVULRs
Actually, play this first. Then Chemical Calisthenics.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvPnM2Q1nwU
So my roommate hasn’t seen Die Hard, AND THIS. CANNOT. STAND!
Someone needs a new sweater
http://www.flickeringmyth.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Die-Hard-Christmas-Now-I-Have-a-Machine-Gun-Ho-Ho-Ho.jpg
There’s a guy at my work who is sort of a ten years younger version of myself, and he says he loves Tarantino, but he hasn’t seen True Romance. I almost fainted.
Does he, NOT like pie after a good movie?!
Matt Hasselbeck, Bob Costas, Trent Dilfer, and Randy Moss in goofy hats on the sidelines are worse than a Patriots-Cowboys Superb Owl.
Francium
Uranium
Cobalt
Krypton
Titanium
Helium
Erbium
Platinum
Argon
Tungsten
Radium
Iron
Oxygen
Tin
Sulfur
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qc3A9ynk-lQ
FrUCoKr
TiHeEr
PtArWRaFeOSnS
I don’t get it.
Lighten up, Francium.
(If you’re a physicist, that may be hilarious. I wouldn’t know.)
FrUCoKr TiHeEr PlArTRaFeOSnS? What the hell does that mean?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoYZf-lBF_U
I never want to hear “Protein, enzymes, and Gruden Grinder” in the same sentence ever again.
That-song-can-go-fuck-itself
http://img-comment-fun.9cache.com/media/9061b951141684438485136102_700wa_0.gif
Welp. As Gregggggggggg masturbates into his notebook, I’m going to call it a night. Later, Taters!
I have a replacement for him
Fuck Football.
That is all.
Tom Brady is gonna need a cigarette after that blowjob by Jon Gruden.
‘Pliable and omniscient.’
Where does he get this stuff…
Oksy, I am happy that someone with a “fire Goodell” sweater managed to make it onto the broadcast.
Things that Gronk cannot do:
1) Sing
2) Stay healthy
Gronk singing is exactly what I imagine the Hulk singing sounds like…
3) Get rid of any of his STDs
can std’s be connected to frequent body inuries?
asking for a ….friend..
the friend is my penis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPRKsKwEdUQ
When the fuck did John Harbuagh turn into Andy Reid?
[watches Ravens methodically move down the field]
[sees time ticking away]
[nods approvingly]
– Andy Reid
\Plans to methodically move down the buffet line
\Nods to himself while wiping drool off chin
-Andy Reid
Don’t load up on useless carbs and produce. Go straight for the meats — shellfish, then beef, ham …
FUCK YOU POULTRY IS NOT MEAT
Assassins Creed is going to suck right?
Prolly. Hopefully they let Omar say fuck at least once.
How many fucks just got through live tv because of Steve Smith?
Were the Ravens expecting the ghost of Ed Reed to save them?
NEVER MORE
He’s too busy making cardboard signs and hanging out by I-95
[looks up from can of beans]
– Ed Reed
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/nwy.gif
GRITDOWN
DOWN!
So that’s what I was doing wrong. This table’s gonna be a beaut now that I know this
WOOOOOO
I want another beer but getting up at 5am is making me reconsider.
No, you shouldn’t get up at 5AM
Wow, Mr Clean got really excited about that sack
Fun fact: Mr. Clean was Ryan Leaf’s nickname for eighteen of the most boring days of his life.
That got a belly laugh out of me. Well done sir.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfDmRUUfWiQ
LEETSACQUE
Evening all random story time:
okay, i know the this idea has really been overplayed, but god damn if its not hilarious. There’s a little armchair in my room close to my bed, and the shih tzu uses it as a jump pad to get on the bed (cuz he’s so little)
anyways, I walk into my room, put my stuff down, slightly nudge the chair as I walk by… a few hours later, decide to sit on my bed so I can prop my feet up…. and suddenly the shih tzu starts barking.
Poor little guy is so utterly distressed at the chair being slightly moved that he doesn’t know what to do. i know its mean to laugh but god damn.
reminds me of this bright customer:
“These walls are funny. First you hate ’em, then you get used to ’em. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That’s institutionalized.”
Dogs can be adorably dumb
Also, the joke is that the chair being slightly out of place has wrecked all confidence in his ability to jump up to it. there is virtually no difference, he just doesn’t think he can do it.
Oh wow, that ball was 6 yards away from the line of scrimmage. Really letting Flacco loose here!!!!
WILD MAN! A GODDAMN WILD MAN!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bnmo8X2kwpk
Edelman going full on Welker tonight
He forgets who he is and where he’s playing and if he gets too close to a microwave oven, he’ll piss his pants?
But he can rock a polyester leisure suit like nobody’s business
Terell Suggs’ gums look like foreskin for teeth
?fit=clip&q=50&or=0&h=214
3rd and 14? Time for a screen
Did Buddy run out of amyl poppers?
Between what I read from last night and tonight, he may just be spent.
The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long, and Buddy has burned so very very bright.
I could’ve made a better flaming joke out of that if I saw it before the moment I clicked “post”
http://www.eatinglv.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/tumblr_mfvt4y6QEJ1rlusvgo1_5001.gif
So, I just found out the guy I’m playing in my money league playoffs this week fucking offed himself this morning. Left a couple little kids. Pretty fucked up.
Wow, how far behind was he?
Pretty far behind, but this just feels empty.
This is why i love this site.
I prefer the dick jokes
You and me both pal.
Safety 2: Electric Boogaloo?
Safety 2: Their First Assignment
2 Safety 2 Furious
The Land Before Safety 2: The Great Valley Adventure
Rat Birds Missed Safety 2: Runs Past the Patriots
Safety 2: Safety Harder
I love you all.
IMPORTANT GOSSIP GIRL UPDATE:
The father of a couple main characters was in a band in the 90’s called LINCOLN HAWK
He also did this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76XTG6dFgx0
Crowd cheers the Pats’ most strategic special teams play of the half.
A Kneel down?
Sweet Jesus. This is the gift that keeps giving.
“Fuck. I don’t want to be in charge of this shit show.”
-John Fassel
“Fuck. I don’t want to be charged for this shit show.”
— City of Inglewood
You can’t fire me because I quit. Throw me in the fire and I won’t throw a fit.
This jewelry ad is for stalkers right?
They all are