Your “Drunk As Hell And Enlisted At The Last Second To Throw Up An Open Post? Sure, Why Not?” Thursday Night Open Thread

I’m so sorry all you guys missed “Daniel Alfredsson Appreciation Night” a little while ago. He meant quite a bit to the city of Ottawa and the country of Sweden but very little to anyone else. That said, I almost cried. For some reason that I still don’t understand, I had season tickets to the Sens when they were the most atrocious Browns-like franchise you could possibly imagine. The drafting of lil ‘ole Danny in the 5th round of a draft in the mid-90’s (details are for suckers, man) marked the incredibly slow turnaround of the Senators. Things got better to the point where they got blown out by the Ducks in the Stanley Cup Finals some years later. Quite the legacy, don’t you think?

Espn tells me that there are some truly delicious tilts on tonight but the paid-less interns are just doing they’re soul-sapping job. I’m truly in no shape to tell you what those games are but experience tells me you have a modicum of intelligence and can figure that out on your own. As near as I can figger the main appeal of throwing this post up is that some weirdos whose sense of humour I like will cause me to giggle. Right now I don’t feel I can ask the world much more than that.

TYPE LIKE YOU’VE NEVER TYPED BEFORE!!!

 

 

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Horatio Cornblower

The song’s not one of my favorites but I like the percussion and it’s got the line “I’ll give you something sweet each time you come inside my jungle” so, yeah, hit me up Sophie B.

Horatio Cornblower
theeWeeBabySeamus

I fucking seriously almost just linked that song.
Wow…scary.
Instead you get this tho…..
/LMFAO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=387ZDGSKVSg

Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I would do evil things for Candace Swaenpoel.
i would break the laws of nature for Miranda Kerr.
There, it needed to be said.

Horatio Cornblower

Getting together with a group of college friends tomorrow.

A few years back my wife gave a legendary performance of this song at a karaoke party.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wv-34w8kGPM

theeWeeBabySeamus

Video or it didn’t happen.

Horatio Cornblower

How young do you think I am? These days when I say “a few years back” I mean “when the kids were too dumb to know what we were doing”; now I’ve got one in college and another one right behind him.

Shit I’m pretty sure there were still functioning pay phones back when this happened.

But I’ll see if I can get her to do it again tomorrow night.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Good enough…we’ll call that win and run with it.

JerBear50

Ya know man, from everything you’ve said your wife sounds like someone who’d be really cool to hang out with while you’re at work.

Horatio Cornblower

I work at home.

But again, two kids in college so if the price is right and she’s OK with it, whatever.

JerBear50

lol Fantastic. I was wondering what I was gonna do with my time off next month.

WCS

Colorado won ten games, the Pac-12 South, and the Pokes are curbstomping them. WVU is going to be the only Big 12 team to lose it’s bowl game, isn’t it?

http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Lloyd-Christmas-Happy-to-Sad.gif

Horatio Cornblower

Who wants to look at Victoria’s Secret models in their underwear while listening to cheesy 70’s music?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGu6v2OjW8s

Thought so.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh bloody hell, she’s a goddamned Niners fan.
http://iv1.lisimg.com/image/9329515/486full-my-profile.jpg
/might be ok with this horrible fact

JerBear50

I’ll bet her mp3 playlist is heavy on Bush.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Mr. Ayo

She could root for some made up team like the Texans and I wouldn’t say a thing.

Horatio Cornblower

Good, that means she doesn’t have a running game or a defense.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCKOI24k_UY

JustStopDude

Taking a departure from the Italian post apocalyptic theme, but stilling with Fred Williamson, the next flick of the night is “Vigilante” from 1983.

Trailer is best described as a Trump voter’s wet dream…

https://youtu.be/XWMw5XXwxxY

I would argue this film is better than even the seminal, celebrated classic “Death Wish” 1 through 7.

JustStopDude

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Did you just say “seminal” and not say “phrasing”….???
You realize we have to kick your ass now….it’s in the rule book goddammit.

litre_cola

I blame goddamn Goodell, that fucking thing is so hard to read.

JerBear50

I believe Andrew Jackson also had a seminole death wish.

Mr. Ayo

No one told UC that a “Bowl Game” means something different outside of Boulder

litre_cola

I really appreciate this.

WCS

Ohh, that’s banner material right there.

Beerguyrob

For TWBS:

Playboy Photography Through The Years – Every Centerfold From Dec 1953 to Feb 2016

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaONUOU7d9o

Fronkenshteen

One vote for Erika Eleniak!

Beerguyrob

Dorothy Stratten forever!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Awwwwww…..you shouldn’t have.
/clicks play
Wait, yes you should have.

Spanky Datass

Marianne Gravatte (Oct. ’82) gave young Spanky all the good feels. First non-famous centerfold whose name (and body) I memorized.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shit….i remember her.
Holy fuck.
/googles rapidly…..damn you typo

Fronkenshteen

Bob Dylan – The Bootleg Series Vol. 1-3. Hot poop.

Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shit….I think I know that girl.
Like fucking seriously.

Unsurprised

Bella Thorne?

Unsurprised

Belk Bowl player suspended from playing the Belk Bowl because he was caught shoplifting at Belk.

Thank you, Jesus

theeWeeBabySeamus

GODDAMMIT THIS GAME SUCKS I AM BORED SOMEONE ENTERTAIN ME!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck you all….I’ll do it myself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzIbyDbmsyg

Beerguyrob
JerBear50

Hey wcbs, how far of a run is St Augustine for you?

JerBear50

Jesus, lets try twbs.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Heheheh…
You talking the city in FLA, or the predominately African American University in Raleigh, NC?

Just kidding….I’m not sure…lemme google it…..

Pretty much a straight shot down 95. 7.5 hours, 529 miles. In my world these days, we call that a light day…..

Whatcha got in mind?

JerBear50

Oh shit, thought it would be closer than that. I’m thinking about running over for a weekend in February. Friday night is Dale Watson, Elizabeth Cook, and Whiskey Gentry. Saturday night is the Old 97’s and the Bottle Rockets.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck yes….just let me know when.
You’re always welcome, my friend.

JerBear50

Shows are actually in Ponte Vedra, but that’s just north of Augustine and there isn’t shit to do there. It’s the weekend of 2/24. Bad thing is I won’t know if I can get the time off until at least late January. The bands are gonna all be playing over here in Tampa except for the Rockets. Those fuckers never come down this way.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And in truth, I have been trying to decide on a short-ish road trip in early Jan.
I could do FLA.
Hollaback.

JerBear50

I’ve actually got vacation in January. I was thinking about running up to the 30A Songwriter Festival. There’s some good people scheduled, but it just seems like a pain in the ass having it spread out over so many venues. http://www.30asongwritersfestival.com/featured

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ll hit you up in email in the next coupla days.
Cool?

JerBear50

Yeah, that works.

Fronkenshteen
WCS

Speaking of Abobo:

http://abobosbigadventure.com/fullgame.php

This game is crezzy and it’s fantastic.

litre_cola

Adobo? Great sauce

JerBear50

Damn. Blocked by the filter.

Fronkenshteen

Bobo?

JerBear50
theeWeeBabySeamus

Buffs smoked up at halftime.
Good…good.

WCS

My second-favorite MST3K:

“Ooo… Trash sense danger!”

JustStopDude

Up next on JSD’s Italian Post Apocalyptic Mania…”The Bronx Warrior”

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It is the movie that “Escape from the Bronx” as seen on MST3K was a sequel to. The best part…Fred Williamson crews the fucking scenery like the badass mother fucking pro he is.

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WCS

LEAVE THE BRONX

JustStopDude

One of the gangs of course fights on roller skates.

Dear god…the early 80’s was a simpler, better time.

litre_cola

Edradour Marsala Finish is verrry boozy. Whoa, sweet with fire breath.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t know how any of you can make it through more than a handful of bowl games. It’s like watching the Browns on repeat without knowing which side God hates.

King Hippo

it’s a true testament to just how much I hate myself, really.

theeWeeBabySeamus

This needs to go on the banner….like NOW!!!!!!

Fronkenshteen

It’s amazing Mike Gundy coaches so well, what with his touring schedule with Huey Lewis & The News.

King Hippo

he’s hot and cold

theeWeeBabySeamus

He wants a new drug.
So do I.

JerBear50

It’s tough getting the itinerary planned just right, but he’s always back in time.

King Hippo

Mike Gundy looks like he should be a character on Trailer Park Boys.

Fronkenshteen

Yerziz bettah

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was thinking Sopranos, but I defer to your expertise.

Fronkenshteen

Thanks to whoever recommended “With The Old Breed”. Tremendous. And I’m still only in Peleliu (sp?).

WCS

Colorado’s not going to be able to field eleven guys at this rate.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup, gotta bleergh that.

WCS

DENIED

theeWeeBabySeamus

I swear to god, I realize officials have a difficult and thankless job.
But occasionally I just really want to choke the fuck out of them.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Gotta pay extra for that

Beerguyrob

Top Chef is a biscuits & barbecue challenge. Good times.

WCS

Oh, Buffs…

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theeWeeBabySeamus

This just in….
Colorado brought their legal weed with them on the road trip.

King Hippo

Just set the DVR for the new season of Sunny. 4 January, fellow degenerates!!!

JerBear50

Changed cable companies so I’ve been having to double check all my dvr settings.

King Hippo

Mine stayed the same when I moved across town, but they upgraded all my equipment and cut the price significantly, which was unexpectedly nice. But I did have to update my DVR settings like you.

JerBear50

Had Verizon since they introduced FIOS to the area and had nothing but good things to say about it. Then they got taken over by Frontier. Those motherfuckers can choke on a dick and die slowly. I’ve now got Brighthouse who was also just taken over but their transition seems to be going smoothly.

WCS

3rd and 27? NFL BLITZ!

Fronkenshteen

Buffs QB ded

Don T

“TYPE LIKE YOU’VE NEVER TYPED BEFORE!!!”

/puts cellphone on counter
//stands on chair naked
Ffgvbvhvnkofwssfjucgffcoe

Fronkenshteen

What are the “cons” when considering driving for Uber?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Passengers vomiting in your car and/or assaulting you.

Fronkenshteen

I imagine their insurance would be a bit dicey as well. I’m thinking a 20 mile radius in a very rural, relaxed area. I’d just heard our area has only one driver who rarely answers his pings. Not looking to make a bunch of dough, but it’d be [swallows really fucking hard] a good…side..hustle.

JustStopDude

The insurance thing is a huge fucking problem. You got more than one person in the car and even if its not your fault, you are screwed. The coverage Uber offers is a joke and your personal insurance isn’t covering shit unless you are paying for insurance to cover your car as a commercial vehicle.

Basically these companies run a business model where the operators assume all the liability and the risk…for use of a fucking app.

Don T

Getting a profit? People with no boundaries? No tips allowed? Driving without cursing?

litre_cola

Anyone have a stream for the bowl game?

Fronkenshteen

I’m just using the ESPN app.

rockingdog

Go Buffs!
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theeWeeBabySeamus

OH COME ON….NOBODY ELSE IS GONNA SAY ANYTHING ABOUT “BROWNIE GIRL”
COME ON!!!!!
OK, I GUESS IMMA BE THAT GUY.
AS USUAL.

rockingdog

Go Buffs

theeWeeBabySeamus

I want to pull a Richie Incognito on Mack Brown.
Yes, that mean I want to shit in his mouth.
That is all.

King Hippo

He’d prolly lick your butthole, though. So…you’d need a next level degradation.

theeWeeBabySeamus

For one of the few times in my life, I am speakless.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Seriously dude….
Gonna take mucho therapy to get that image out of my head.
Not nice.

King Hippo

I cackle with evil self-satisfaction!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ll getcha back, don’t worry.
Maybe I’ll talk about plucking my pubic hair again….that seemed to make your skin crawl.
(hehehehehe)

JerBear50

And as long as you gather them up after plucking, you save money by not having to buy dental floss.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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litre_cola

Mrs. Cola is on a Botched marathon. I am drunk. How you all doing?

Beerguyrob

I too have been subjected to the Botched marathons. It has helped me feel better aboot myself.

King Hippo

Intervention does that FOAR my self-esteem

theeWeeBabySeamus

I generally go with porn.
Westworld helps too.

Fronkenshteen

I’m a botched marathon as well.

/not sure that’s a joke

Mr. Ayo

That would be a joke if you didn’t misspell abortion

Fronkenshteen

/dying

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Duh

Fronkenshteen

Got my two beloveds playing Super Mario Somefuckingthing on the tee-vee, OSU/CU on tablet #1, green crack in the pipe, plenty of Guinness, and a box of Krispy Kreme’s ready for deployment over coffee tomorrow morning. Hope everyone else is cozy as hell.

blaxabbath

That’s legit.

I got too high the other night and felt sick all Tuesday (part of that getting too high included eating too many greasy fucking taquitos). Glad you’re on point though.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I may have gotten to high tonight.
I’ll let ya know tomorrow.

blaxabbath

Is there a difference between sashimi grade tuna and the steaks they sell at costco? I want to try making poke.

King Hippo

probably not much

Recovery Whiskey

Hit him in a bad spot right between the numbers

Recovery Whiskey

Couldn’t the NFL have gone mostly on Saturday this week so New Years Day could have been the major bowls? Tradition means fuck all any more.

Mr. Ayo

This way we get three straight days of good football. CFP on Sat, NFL on Sun, and Major Bowls on Mon. Then back to work.

King Hippo

I dunno how much of Sunday will be “good.” Maybe 4-5 teams are actually trying.

Beerguyrob

Canada up 8-0 on Latvia after 2.

herodotus450

But Latvia continues to lead in the Brutal Dictatorship That Set The Country Back 20 Years category, 2-1

Horatio Cornblower

Just sat down with a can of my favorite beer, (Treehouse’s Haze, to answer the question you did not ask), which was canned today, and what to my wondering eye does appear, but the Alamo Bowl!, which means it’s time to Netflix this night.

Also I took my daughter to see Rogue One today, (two thumbs up), and at one point leaned over and said that it should’ve been called ‘Jyn & The Holograms’ and now I’m a cool dad for another week or so.

Fronkenshteen

Happy Toisdaycomment image
How about them Hokies?

JustStopDude

What sucks for me about Vatech winning is the cubical farm I have to walk past at work is going to be filled with assholes wearing Vatech gear since they won…and yet maybe a third of them could mention the starting QB for the team or even their win/loss record this year.

YOU HAD ONE FUCKING JOB ARKANSAS!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Happy 6th night of Hanukkah!

Why isn’t there a live stream of DFOers burning themselves on menorahs?

JerBear50

“but experience tells me you have a modicum of intelligence and can figure that out on your own.”

You… you don’t mean us, right?

Beerguyrob

Hey, where’s the NFL?

Goodell’s such a national disgrace.