Your “America’s Hat Is Having A Party?” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Yes, and given the exchange rate, you’d be foolish not to come.

NFL News:devin-hester-on-instagram-seahawks-locker

  • The Seahawks signed Devin Hester in advance of Saturday’s playoff date with the Lions, meaning Richard Sherman just has to concentrate on finding someone to blame when he gives up 40-yard sideline routes to Golden Tate.
    • No timeline or update on Tyler Lockett, but he’s had the surgery on his leg.
      • My guess is 2018.
  • The Cowboys have signed guard Jonathan Cooper as O-line insurance during the playoffs.
  • Pacman Jones is out of jail, ahead of a preliminary hearing January 13.
  • Tom Savage has been declared unavailable for Saturday, because he hasn’t emerged from concussion protocol.
    • Backing up Brock Ostweiler? Brandon Weeden!
    • Amazingly, the odds are still only Texans -4.
  • The Chargers have 11 days to decide if they are moving to LA.
    • According to PFT, “with January 15 falling on a Sunday and only two business days remaining this week, the best move for the Chargers would be to announce the decision next Monday or Tuesday.”

Finally, the 15 modern-era finalists for the Pro Football Hall of Fame’s Class of 2017 were announced yesterday. They are:

  1. Morten Andersen                9. Ty Law
  2. Tony Boselli                       10. John Lynch
  3. Isaac Bruce                       11. Kevin Mawae
  4. Don Coryell                        12. Terrell Owens
  5. Terrell Davis                      13. Jason Taylor
  6. Brian Dawkins                    14. LaDainian Tomlinson
  7. Alan Faneca                       15. Kurt Warner
  8. Joe Jacoby
  • Senior Finalist: Kenny Easley
  • Contributor Finalists: Jerry Jones; Paul Tagliabue

Honestly, I’m kind of underwhelmed. Maybe three from the players list seem assured. I’m more interested in Kenny Easley, but that’s a geographical prejudice. I’d like to be invited to Jerry’s party, however.

Here’s the rules & stats, if you feel so inclined.


Canada 150:

This year marks Canada’s 150th year as an “independent” nation. The whole year – pespecially up to July 1 – will be marked by various parades, festivals and free National Park admission noting our long viability as a country.

To observe this fact, I’m going to bring forth various historical points related to Canada’s development as a nation over those 150 years. What I’m teaching to my students I’ll impart to you, so any Trump evacuees are ready for the citizenship test.

The sesquicentennial logo is composed of a series of diamonds, or “celebratory gems”, arranged in the shape of the iconic maple leaf. The four diamonds at the base represent the four original provinces that formed Confederation in 1867: Ontario, Quebec, New Brunswick and Nova Scotia. Additional diamonds extend out from the base to create nine more points—in total representing the 13 provinces and territories. (source) They even developed a specific font for usage with any Canada 150 promotions.

Today is a semi-national holiday, because the World Juniors semi-finals are on, with the US beating Russia in a shootout earlier this afternoon, and Canada playing Sweden at 7:30 PM ET.

To tie Canadian history & hockey together, today is the 30th anniversary of the “Punch-up in Piestany”, when the Soviets – remember those clowns? – decided to cost the Canadians a chance at a World Junior tournament medal by starting a bench-clearing brawl.

Canada was leading 4-2 halfway through the second period. A chippy game descended into a line brawl, which turned into a full-on melee when Evgeny Davydov left the Soviet bench and got involved. That sent everyone over the boards, except Pierre Turgeon – he stayed on the bench the whole time, earning him his turtling reputation – and backup goalie Jimmy Waite, which gave the Soviets a numerical advantage. Fortunately for the Canadians, the Soviets were not skilled pugilists, and mostly punched with their gloves on. Also fortunate: Canada had guys like Brendan Shanahan and Theo Fleury, the dividing line between tough and angry.

Having never seen something like this in international hockey, the Norwegian ref lost control, was ordered off the ice, and the arena officials tried turning out the lights to coerce the players into stopping. This made it worse, let guys fight dirty, and the brawl only ceased when guys became tired and were convinced by their coaches to leave the ice. After the game, both teams were ejected from the tournament, and Canada was denied a medal – in a vote held involving countries that benefited from Canada’s disqualification. The Canadians were expelled from Czechoslovakia and their bus was escorted to the Austrian border.

Both teams were not barred from the 1988 tournament, as it was scheduled to be held in the Soviet Union & Canada was the only revenue-generating broadcast market.

The legacy in Canada is that it created a patriotic desire to begin following what was generally considered an insignificant tournament, usually followed by only relatives & friends (guilty) of the players. In the shrill aftermath, the tournament went from a pastoral holiday treat to a matter of real patriotic significance. (G&M) It has risen to become a national obsession during the Christmas holidays, and draws such ratings & revenue that the IIHF decided to mandate holding the tournament in Canada every two years.

It also popularized Don Cherry as a hockey commentator. Legend has it he drove through the snow into the CBC headquarters to take on other commentators who were accusing Canada of being the aggressor.

His argumentative rebuttals popularized him among a public grown tired of navel-gazing intellectuals who derided sports despite obviously never having played them. Cherry’s commentary on the 1987 brawl boosted his popularity immensely and helped cement his role as Canada’s “tell-it-like-he-sees-it” sports celebrity. (CBC)


Tonight’s sports:

  • NBA:
    • Bulls at Cavaliers – 8:00PM | ESPN / Sportsnet1
    • Trail Blazers at Warriors – 10:30PM | ESPN / Sportsnet1
  • NCAA:
    • Villanova at Butler – 6:30PM | FS1
    • Georgia Tech at Duke – 7:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
    • Creighton at St. John’s – 8:30PM | FS1
    • Oregon at Washington – 9:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
  • NHL:
    • Jets at Panthers – 7:00PM | Sportsnet360
    • Rangers at Flyers – 8:00PM | NBCSN
    • Canadiens at Stars – 8:00PM | Sportsnet
  • World Junior Hockey Championship: Semifinal – Sweden vs. Canada – 7:30PM | TSN / NHLN

No football? NO PROBLEM!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am going The Gang gets Invincible to waste some time. I missed the start time of Sunny

WCS

Okay, without saying anything too spoilerish for those who live in all those other pointless time zones, Sunny has already been incredible.

Sharkbait

I’m DVRing it to watch after hockey.

Spanky Datass

And Sunny just keeps getting better. Scott Bakula Sings The Blues should be a real album.

Sharkbait

Wooo!

Brocky

So I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO RECOLLECTION of watching stranger things but I can remember every single detail.

I hate my scatterbrain so much

Gratliff

Welp. Fuck you hockey. 2017 is worse.

litre_cola

Hell my Ice Bombers just swept the state of Florida in Florida. Highs and Lows, highs and lows.

Sharkbait

comment image?w=650

Sharkbait

Also I’m reasonably sure the Flyers aren’t 0-2 vs Buffalo this year.

Gratliff

All I know is the Flyers were the hottest team in the league when everybody was dying, but now the Blue Jackets are threatening to break win streak records.

Sharkbait

Kreider Woooo!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Unsurprised

comment image

WCS

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Unsurprised

It figures Frank’s into pegging.

ballsofsteelandfury

NICE!

laserguru

One of the reasons why I chose this particular hotel is it has a pretty damn fine hotel bar scene.

The key is to wait for the business tools to finish their hobnobbing cluster fuck before heading down.
I’ve got a couple of room beers and some Jameson to relax with first then you head down and drop the fucking hammer.

/trips over pants that are around the ankles and bounces off the mini fridge.

WCS

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6cEOk7x4HA

Oh shit there’s stickers

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Sharkbait

BECAUSE DENNIS IS A BASTARD MAN!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

“Did you hear my song?”

“Yeah, great song Charlie, I loved it”

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Gratliff

Archer is moving to FXX. They’re killing it like they did my precious Legit.

Shogun Marcus

The creators are killing it. Two more seasons.

Gratliff

Does this mean I’ll have to settle for Netflix’s Non-Union, Australlian equivalent?
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Sharkbait

I think I watched about 10 minutes of that before stopping.

Shogun Marcus

Those were my exact words. I hear it’s awful.

ballsofsteelandfury

The thing about that show is that it’s NOT Archer. If you go in expecting Archer, you will hate it.

I liken it more to POLICE SQUAD. It’s that kind of parody and silly jokes.

I’ve already seen the whole season. TWICE.

Sharkbait

I didn’t expect Archer per se, but thats all I could think about while watching it.

ballsofsteelandfury

Watch it again and think Frank Drebin. Let me know what you think.

Unsurprised

“I thought ok, Pro Athlete, he won’t try to kill or rob me, so sure I will”

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Sharkbait

No real surprise there.

Sharkbait

Fuck yeah!!

4:20 Hayes it!

/sorry Gratliff

//sorrynotsorry

Gratliff

I would be angry, but the NBC online stream has completely broke. The Live Extra app used to be one of the more impressive things NBC did, with the ability to do PIP and select different camera feeds during NFL games. They butchered the fuck out of the features, set up an ad system that made it basically inoperable during ad transitions, and have lately blocked ad blockers to guarantee that “Not Working” thing NBC is so good at.

Sharkbait

Thats why it didnt work when I tried to use it last night. Sorry NBC, my adblock stays on.

Gratliff

Not to mention we’re already paying for the fucking service that lets us even use the online streams, those greedy cunts.

Sharkbait

Bastards.

Unsurprised

Booooooring
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Shogun Marcus

comment image#136

Unsurprised
litre_cola

The fuck is that?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Spanky Datass

Ice Cowboys playin’ the Feud with the Ice Alouettes at the end of the first.

Shogun Marcus

comment image#17

Unsurprised

The Republican Way!

Gratliff

The Ring sequel is sexier than first thought

Shogun Marcus

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Sharkbait

That was an amazing show.

Gratliff

OH FUCK YOU, HENRIK. I DID NOT ALREADY SAY THAT LIVE BLOG. SEE THE CAPS?

Gratliff

Oh fuck you, Henrik

Sharkbait

You’re an Ice Eagles fan, I forgot about that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Henrik von Bülow ?

Sharkbait

The 87 USSR Canada brawl is always entertaining. Beerguyrob, I expect updates on the Sweden-Canada game, I want to know who gets a healthy dose of freedom tomorrow in the final.

http://www.lficepalace.com/sp-datastore/media-photos/uploaded/usahlogo

Sharkbait

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
BrettFavresColonoscopy

If you did a draft of first and second string quarterbacks in the playoffs, how early does Garrapolo go? Obviously ahead of Cook but Moore? Alex Smith? Would Paxton Lynch be preferable to Cook?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Alex Smith is a really good QB that gets mocked all the time. Sure his Trump hands can’t throw a deep ball but he is accurate and consistent.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What if we opened up conference options? Does everyone want Romo ahead of their current starter save NE, GB, Dal, and presumably NYG?

ballsofsteelandfury

HARF HARF NO!!

Unsurprised

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
JustStopDude

Managed to shoot a plasma ball out of a 5hp DC motor today. Loud bang. Destroyed the motor. May have destroyed the piece of shit GE designed, Italian both, 20 year old drive I was trying to run for the first time ever (seriously..they give me these pieces of shit for giving customer training and its usually shit I have no idea where they find it).

I got written up for yelling “HOLY SHIT ARE YOU OKAY TOM?!?!” to my coworker who was closer to the plasma ball and dived over a work bench.

For some reason, my training lab is next to finance’s cubicles. They are nerds…

Unsurprised

Good times.

LemonJello

I can barely imagine the carnage and destruction you’ll leave in your wake whenever you decide to leave this company.

Unsurprised

It’ll be awesome

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am just going with the music thing til I hear pounding on the wall calling me back down

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENXvZ9YRjbo

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Even Matt McGloin looks better when you overlay the NFL music!

https://twitter.com/GipsySafety/status/816779086596976640

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The United States; Canada’s unwashed, lice-infested genitals.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am not lying about that drywalling thing. I am gonna sneak some music in before I have to drag my sweaty really not giving a shit about it body downstairs to install a ceiling

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yn1WbBaWTdc

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s a balmy 5-deg F out, but according to wind-chill it “feels like” 5-deg F.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

So, shorts weather. I don’t see the problem

laserguru

Made it to San Diego and I’m chilling with youngest right and the grandbaby. Did the Presideo thing and the Old Town going and now were supposed to be having the best pork roll egg and cheese in SD.
AWESOME.

Unsurprised

I hope she died

Unsurprised
ballsofsteelandfury

I absolutely adore your country and I would love to go back there. It’s too bad the train is so expensive as I would love to do the whole cross-Canada trip.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

The Office sucks

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

If I wasn’t 90% certain I am going to have to go downstairs and install more drywall I would lose my pants and be in proper open thread attire.