“WHAT DO WE WANT?”
“A COMPETITIVE PLAYOFF GAME!”
“WHEN DO WE WANT IT?”
“NOW!”
[whispers out of the side of his mouth] “Could you maybe just wait until the one after this?”
Mia/Pit– The Steelers opened as 10.5 faves and that has since been bumped to 12.5. Why? Well, pull up a couch and I’ll tell you my good fan. HC Gase and the entire fan base was hoping that qb Tannyfanny would be ready to go for this one but Matt Moore has been announced as the starter. In a three game stint he threw for 8 TD’s vs. 3 INT’s but half of those were against the Jets and they only count as three-pointers in league stats. Moore has a significantly stronger arm than the guy normally in front of him so he may want to air it out to wr’s Parker and Stills (who will drop it) early in order to make some space for the running game. Rb Ajayi will have to run for 200+ yards for the fourth time this year in order for the Fins to have a whisper of a chance. You see, their D ranked 29th in avg. yards given up per game at 382.6. This ‘winning’ squad also had a point differential of -17 which is indicative of a team that lost big to a half-decent team here and squeaked out games vs. lousy opposition there. Did I mention that their #1 cb Maxwell is hobbled by an ankle injury and may not play against Antonio?
If you can’t hear me over the laughter of Ben, Bell and Brown… THE STEELERS HAVE WON 7 STRAIGHT AND ARE HEADED TO K.C. NEXT WEEKEND.
[wipes hands on monitor] My work here is done. GET AT IT, KOOL KATS!!!
He ded.
Kind of a long shot but do any of you know where my car keys are?
I’ll seal you later.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/504ec6067349f4560e4ec0460f78158c/tumblr_ojc31hDrg81vb46leo4_r1_400.gif
Probably next to my gloves.
DOLPHIN PLAYER: You best watch your shit, talk shit like that you’re likely to catch one in the mouth.
HEYWARD-BEY: Oh, I ain’t afraid.
Seriously other than the field being possible crap (always an issue in yinzburgh), you cannot convince me nfl teams don’t know how to deal with cold. THIS AIN’T STALINGRAD.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/cc96dfae8df0a0fb614236eca505c9d2/tumblr_oiucpyLYfW1uoh1t8o1_500.gif
Well that’s just poor planning. Of course you have to keep the tip warm.
Hey, guys, what’d I miss?
*turns on game*
*turns off game*
Well, you sure as hell didn’t miss any tackles. Miami handled that.
#4, clearly
At least we know the trickster god DOINK is present. Maybe he’ll do a few things to make this game a little more fun to watch.
Like put a different game on?
SHAN’KHOR STRIKES AGAIN
EL KABONK STRIKES AGAIN!
MEGA DOINK
Shank’doink
“Finally!”
wtf was that
(JR voice) “Stop the damn match! For the love God, will someone stop the damn match?!”
I love that Honda Civic ad because it’s such a huge ‘fuck you’ to Trump supporters. “Oh sure, we’ll build a new factory for our cars in Middle America. AND THEN WE’RE GONNA FILL IT WITH FUCKING ROBOTS!!!!”
http://68.media.tumblr.com/7d4bde759acb32965baa4d31f7213861/tumblr_oj7sd5go1f1uoh1t8o1_1280.gif
Just repeat this a million times.
http://thumbnails116.imagebam.com/51327/1df170513267573.jpg
Writer: “So here’s my idea, a remake of ‘Training Day’, but as a TV series.”
Exec: “I dunno. The movie pretty much wrapped the whole story up in 2 hours didn’t it?”
Writer: “But consider this. In MY version the corrupt cop is WHITE and the good rookie cop is BLACK!”
Exec: “Here is all the money. Help yourself some cocaine on your way out.”
Things I’d rather be watching:
http://thumbnails117.imagebam.com/52146/a589f7521452685.jpg
Geez, this is like when your friend who’s really good at Madden just starts showing you what play he’s calling, and you still can’t stop it.
Jesus, does CBS has some quota of making movies people were lukewarm about into series people will be lukewarm about?
I’ll be honest, I actually liked Limitless. Training Day looks bad.
Bill Burr is going full on rant about the Dolphins…
We’ll never stop “Ben is a rapist” jokes.
We’ll never stop Rodgers is gay/has a beard jokes.
Wait. Gay, beard…
SHAZAM!
http://www.nndb.com/people/384/000049237/christopher_lowell_chair.jpg
Where is Jerome Bettis from?
I just watched Enter The Dragon on New Year’s Day and after having seen Kentucky Fried Movie so many times, It’s awesome just how accurate Fist full of Yen is–I swear they used the same sets.
Well, this was a good game, glad it’s over… Second quarter? Yeesh. We need a new word for AFC Wild Card and 4th seeds. Like Always Fucking Crap.
Yes that is three words NO YOU CAN’T COUNT
I am liking this.
Big fan of snuff films are you?
It’s at least FUNNY, which is more than can be said for the other games.
http://thumbnails117.imagebam.com/52526/a0d95e525253261.jpg
We’ve replaced the Miami Dolphins with the Cleveland Browns. Let’s see if anybody notices.
Things Miami needs to work on in the second half.
Tackling things.
Eugh. Were are the promos in which the NFL tells you it’s the reason you keep drinking?
holy damn
Fuck this game, it’s BF1 time.
Someone had to explain to Chip Kelly that Code Black and American Horror Story are actually different shows.
Even though I’ve lost weight sitting here with my laptop in my lap in this lovely and comfy recliner chair I am reminded that I am still fat as all Hell.
When is Suh going to hurt someone. Preferably someone on the Steelers team.
When Hell freezes over and Bernie becomes President.
/has terrible flashbacks of bitter Berners writing thousand-word diatribes about how they were screwed
GODDAMN YOU
Pfft. Like they ever stopped
80% were Rooskie bots anyhoo.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0j0iccI6X1qmajhlo1_500.gif
yes, I do still want Miami’s DC to be the Donks’ next coach. This is personnel, not scheme.
Yes, PHEEEEL, because Boss Todd REALLY needs another chance.
Does Miami have a) the personnel, and 2) the coaching to adjust to this at halftime? Or are we just looking at two halves of this?
You’re not seeing Todd Haley’s name on any head coach lists because he was mediocre at best in Kansas City and fucking asshole, even for a football coach, to boot.
And yet Josh McDaniels is a popular candidate.
I don’t believe that for a second. I’ll be stunned if anyone hires McDaniels and if anyone does hire McDaniels the fanbase should have the right to storm the offices, seize the entire ownership and have them drawn and quartered in the town square.
I would rather be boiled in oil than watch Marky Mark’s Boston Marathon movie. Shit like that makes me almost want to root for the terrorists.
Almost?
Early contender for banner.
THEY MESSED WITH THE WRONG CITY!!!!!
It’s gotten really good reviews. I’d be more inclined to check it out if it weren’t so close in time.
No. Fuck that. There is no way those reviews are anything but sentimental bullshit from simpletons.
Better chance to beat the spread: Miami or the South Park Cows?
Sasha Grey retired.
I really was hoping I could avoid drinking today but these fucking games…
I just saw an ad for Wal-Mart featuring a mixed race black and Asian couple, neither of whom were wearing tank tops or pajama bottoms and now I am REALLY confused as to who Wal-Mart thinks actually shops at their godawful stores.
Ranch eaters.
KRAFT Ranch eaters.
I do. And I hate myself. It’s a money thing. Pretty sure there’s a lot of us out there.
I wish I hadn’t said that…
The iPhone 7 — now you can take pictures of people!
“Miami’s defense is gonna have to come up with something here.”
OH YA THINK!?
That’s the kind of insight that years of being hit in the head professionally can provide.
It’s almost like this Pittsburgh team is doing things to Miami against their will.
I can see we’re never gonna get past those “Rothlisberger is a rapist” jokes.
Just like a drunk co-ed has no chance of getting past Ben in a bathroom stall.
There we go!!
Funicular!
http://thumbnails117.imagebam.com/52112/f9f3ac521116148.jpg
Big for Miami bettors