Okay, for sure this’ll be a keeper of a game, right? Haven’t we suffered enough, Goodell? We want marginally entertaining football and we want it now. Because we sure as hell didn’t get it the week previous. I must admit to myself (in that dark place that I don’t visit very often) that the law of averages is increasingly in our favour as fans of quality football. It just might happen. TO THE GAME!!!
Sea/Atl– The most significant fellas missing from this game on both sides occupy positions in the secondary. The ‘Hawks D can’t quite play up to their full capability without The Earl of Bennett. The gap in talent with respect to replacement safety Steven Terrell is a large as you think it is. Opponents run/passing numbers are up since the catastrophe. Still, as Paul Simon once trilled, “Sherman and Julio down at the goal line” will be one hell of an interesting encounter.
On the other end, cb Trufant won’t be seeing any Baldwins, Richardsons or [curses!] Kearses. Another wonderful plus-100 yard running day by rb Rawls will certainly make it that much more difficult to keep a better-than-average Seattle O below 25-30 points. Speaking of 30-the Falcons are 1-5 when they’ve achieved the under. By the by, a scented candle to all those that were aware that Falc’s lb Vic Beasley led the league in sacks with 15 and a half.
All in all, it looks as though the ‘Hawks need a few turnovers (“Turnovers? I like apple!” -Andy Reid) to keep up with them Atlantans but the Falcons have only turned the ball over more than one time only the one time. Possible regular season MVP and post-season Andy Dalton wanna-be (1-5) Matt Ryan-it’s all on you. As a football in New England would say, “No Pressure”.
Done. SEND IN THE SQUIBS!!!
Welp, there’s $500 I don’t have to spend next week.
And on that bombshell, it’s time to end. See you in the next thread!
http://www.city-of-brides.com/images/im-6.jpg
Seattle. Terrible sportsmen til the last second. The Pete Carroll way.
Atlanta should punch it in, just because fuck Seattle.
Sooooo ATL being up ALL GOD DAMN GAME in a commanding way… but it took a totally fluke play with a bobble that “sealed the deal”.
Fuck you.
Arthur Blank looks like a funeral director.
I was thinking more early-80’s Bond villain.
That or a mafia boss.
“This slander will not stand! You’ll be hearing from our lawyers!”
– North American Funeral Directors Association
Falcons better go for that TD and not kneel. Rub that shit in.
I think they should have run a play to get inside the 1, AND THEN take knees. Because then it’s “We could score, but we’ll patronize you.”
Ok, the Arthur Blank shaking his wife’s hand like that HAS to be in Quotables this week!
“Hee hee hee!”
– Trickster God DOINK
What does Mike Pereira do in the offseason?
Molest collies?
I wouldn’t put it past him, but why collies, specifically?
I honestly heard that on some show or movie, but i can’t remember which one.
Now that i think about it, I’m sure Chevy Chase said it. Caddyshack?
Possibly Fletch
ah, that makes sense. I was googling “mike pereira” and “collies” and coming up empty
Walk around Target placing items back where they belong.
Not the hero we need, but the hero we deserve
These announcers are fucking terrible.
“You mean you DON’T put the spin move on little old ladies at the grocery store?”
HA HA AMELICAN FOOTBARR IS BEING NOT GOOD
18-month-old nephew running around, tearing everything off the fridge, and wailing. Six-year-old niece “helping” by dumping sloppy joe on the carpet. Own baby screaming incessantly.
http://girlmeetsfreak.com/img/1373635589_tumblr_m6ukfweqkm1qj7u8ao1_500.gif
Hey, WVU beat Texas…
Children are such little miracles….
worry not, in 18 years they all be gone. University, jobs, jail, whatever!!
http://bestanimations.com/Military/Explosions/nuclear-atom-bomg-explosion-animated-gif-4.gif
It’s the right, and only answer to this situation.
I WANT THE TAJ MAHAL OF ASSHOLES!
-Arthur Blank
I married him.
-Mrs. Blank
*hires Joey Porter*
There’s a Mercedes-Benz stadium plus there’s the Mercedes-Benz Superdome… who can we appease them with?
Bobby Turner is pissed that this game is dragging on and that his favorite BBQ place will run out of hot links.
“Turner? I barely know her. Plus, we’ve already got the big fish.”
– KGB officer, going over a dossier about Melania Trump
I would love to see the Kompromat pictures the KGB has on Melania.
DAN QUINN: Okay, no problem, just need to keep that clock running.
TEVIN COLEMAN: [runs out of bounds]
I like you John Lynch, but stop. Just stop. The Seahawks D has been on the field for 75% of the game. The offense clearly can not score effectively
DAN QUINN: Okay, guys, we’re up three touchdowns, just need to slow them down a bit and eat up some time.
ATLANTA DEFENSE: [gives up touchdown in six seconds]
Seahawk fans take off jerseys in perfect unison, revealing Zeke jersey.
“I’ve always been a Cowboys fan! AMERICA’S TEAM!”
The Seahawks getting blown up? It is the ’80s again! Woo!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBfFDTPPlaM
http://www.bestkievguide.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/ivanova-e1454788753475.jpg
Every time I see that “Leigon” logo my mind sees “Lexicon” which would also be a good name for a show.
Funny, all I had to do was Google Image search “ukrainian women” and thus showed up right away. I did not need to add the words “hot” or “sexy” or “beautiful”
http://www.ukrainianfiancee.com/UserFiles/Image/ukrainian_women_1_23.09.14.jpg.jpg
What I also like about said women is that even though they’re already taller than average, they still wear stupid high heels all the time.
Ha ha ha! I know someone like that and you are EXACTLY right!
Because who the fuck would Google “ugly Ukrainian women”?
Sanu-Nanu!
Did Sherman do anything today besides get burned?
IN SOVIET RUSSIA, ATLANTA BURNS SHERMAN!
/beats self for stealing Fozz’s joke and Yakoff-ing it
He also bitched about a lot of calls. And he held someone on one of Hester’s returns but because it is him it wasn’t called
HE’S ON FIRE OUT THERE!
And by that I mean, rolling around on the ground, trying to put the flames out.
What does mike pereira do in the offseason?
“Whose bird is that?”
“Well, it’s more of a wounded duck, but that’s Russell Wilson’s wounded duck.”
What was Ciara’s nickname for her husband’s penis pre-marriage?
We know it’s Playoff Football Fox. Why else would anyone watch a Falcons game?
Game over? Game over.
http://data.whicdn.com/images/71327028/large.jpg
Nice to see that, even without Philip Rivers, we can still get a FLOATCEPTION
So Seattle is gonna come back and tie it, force Atlanta to punt with like a minute left and Hester is gonna take it back
Nevermind
I’ve really really really really tried to accept that Darrell Fucking Barrell is still play calling this season. I’ve tried not to harp on and on about him being a shit OC. But god dammit. I fucking hate his play calling. He has zero clue how to use the talent available to him.
Welcome, my friend, to the “We Hate Darrell Bevell” anti-fan club. Please take a pamphlet explaining how Bevell is the Anti-Christ, and be sure to grab some punch and pie.
I was nawt sad when he left town.
/I would like some pie too pleeze
How was that not a chop block?
If someone could deliver some kettle chips into my maw that would be great.
I’m Senor Weaselo and I endorse this message.
13-29. I bet the next game will have a similar score, ‘cept for the “13” part. And 29 might be more like 49, but otherwise exactly the same!
1;3-2=1; 9
Invert them.
/steel beams!
HOT TAEK
I don’t care about your retarded frat or sorority and how doing the elephant walk made a real brotherhood!
I’m so thankful that i have no idea what you are talking about.
“IT’S JUST AN INITIATION THING IT’S NOT GAY!”
– Brady Quinn
terrible blocking saves ATL, as three OL were right there to get the fumbre
Evening all, so another shitshow of a game where a team’s up by a comfortable WAIT IT’S THE FALCONS WINNING HOLY SHIT
The game has had stretches of being quite watchable, actually.
of the 5 so far…clearly the winner
Relevant (to me…and Moose…):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xDae8x1iRs
I was drinking vodka from Poland last night, does that count for Eastern European love?
Did ya eat pierogies?
Wait, what? A sensible interpretation of this rule?
I was fucking shocked
Get Zymm, if I remember correctly, she’s mostly Eastern Bloc.
Get Carter: 1971 Michael Caine or 2000 Sly Stallone? Discuss…
Oh! That reminds me. I need to record my own version of “Mulatto Butts” called “Pan-Slavic Butts” and set it as her ring tone.
/Looks for alcohol to pre-pour out for ICRM
hey, why hath Dok forsaken us this weekend??
She’s on vacation.
with NO HOTEL WIFI??
And for all Russian women y’all are posting, don’t forget the Ukrainian women. My Russian ex commented about how during her time in Kiev she was stunned by the number of beautiful women she saw. (And, as an aside, that they liked American men.)
Example#1:
and you don’t even have to worry about HER being an anti-Semite!!
UKRAINE NOT WEAK!!!
Good thing about Ukranians women is that they’re used to not eating.
/too soon
why in the sweet name of Ivan the Terrible would you punt there??
“Because she left one of our events early to hang out at her boyfriend’s fraternity.”
http://cdn.thedailybeast.com/content/dailybeast/articles/2013/04/26/rebecca-martinson-the-viral-sorority-girl-letter-writer-how-to-go-from-unknown-to-infamous-in-60-seconds/jcr:content/image.crop.800.500.jpg/45567670.cached.jpg
Where is she now?
http://brobible.com/author/rebecca-martinson/
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/books/news/a35784/rebecca-martinson-dirty-rush-interview/
She’s almost an interesting writer. Almost.
One more:
yeah, I really hate that I can’t go there and just gawk and get laid without complete paranoia of Kompromat now. SIGH
/obligatory smgdh
Nice clean hard hit on Russ. Love it.
“Nice clean hard hit on Russia. Love it.”
– HRC
So are they just going to put UConn women’s basketball as a D-III men’s team now?
D-II
ThePirateSloth might be morphing into TheBucaneerGrizzly, despite the delicious grilled meat we just ate. You won’t like him when he’s angry.