Look, I hate the Pats with all the bile I can summon just like you. Still, they are a relentlessly successful organization in much the same way that Scientology/The Tea Party/MADD/PETA/Greenpeace/Stormfront and NOW are. It’s not right by any means but here we are.
[prepares funeral pyre for the Texans]
Did I mention earlier that I hate the Pats? Yes? No? Anyway, I HATE THE PATS.
That said, the Pats fans on this site don’t make me want to jam three fingers down my throat.
Done. LET THE HATE DROPLETS RAIN!!!
Having watched very little basketball for obvs reasons, is UCLA actually good this year? If so, how and why?
I hope John Wick 2 is as good as John Wick 1.
Gronk for Walter Payton man of the year from the Pats makes sense. His community service working with frat boys teaching them how to be complete dicks, discrete ways to get their VD treated and of course the art of discrediting women that accuse them of rape. He is truly doing the lords work
DOOPY PANTZ warming up yet?
I just hope the Texans(?) can beat the spread. I want no one to benefit from this!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6gzOcTNKwE
ok, time to watch St. Mary’s/Gonzaga I guess. Fuck, how I hate being alive most of the time.
That should do it…fuck I hope I’m wrong.
WOOOOO
On Twitter I’m being followed by a prostitute from Perth, Australia. I mean, I don’t want to criticize her marketing strategy but…
Pass her off to Craig James, he’ll, uh, take care of her for you.
What does she look like?
Also, I’m back! Apparently, prayer only works for sex.
Thank God for that.
(hehehe….get it?)
((and also….yes))
The nice thing about her Twitter feed is that you are left with no doubts about what she looks like, even with a beer bottle stuffed in her twat.
Have her send a pic of her mom. Trust me on this.
patriots have had a 45 yard pass play, a 47 yard pass play, a 35 yard pass interference call
All staples of Tom Brady’s playbook.
“What a block by [Solder.]” Except for it being a hold.
Boston Suicide Hotline…..
Press One for “Fack This”
Press Two if you bet teh mortgage on the Pats -14.5
Press Three for all normal Boston related suicidal thoughts.
FACKIN SAWX LAHST AHGAHIN!? WHEN LAHRD?! WHEN WILL IT BE AHH TIME?!
You left out Bucknah. WHAT ABOUT BUCKNAH!!!!!
Brady is killing the Texans with the Riversesque floats.
How the fuck does Brady float those fucking balls right into the arms of receivers so often?
Not the score I expected in the third quarter. Gotta admit I’m essentially pleased.
Did anybody inspect Brady’s balls before the game? I understand that has been an issue in the past.
They were right where they were supposed to be. One each in Jim and Phil’s mouths
Nantz checked at halftime. They are just the right level of salty
JEEEEM!!!! My turn!!!!!
Wait.
Why are the Patriots not winning by 20?
WHAT FUCKING WITCHCRAFT IS THIS?!
Habs beats the Ice Giants.
“Ice Giants” would actually be a really cool name for a hockey team.
Better than the Golden Knights?
A typical NFL broadcast:
/ commercial break
Dick pills
Chevy
Flo
Chevy
Ad about how the NFL is teaching responsible tackling and the game is safe
/returns from commercial
“‘Player’ is still down of the field after taking that vicious helmet to helmet hit. We could never support a hit like that. Let’s watch 5 different angles of it”
/replays play
“Well he is still down, we will be right back after this next quick break”
/Commercial break
Ad for NFL claiming it is teaching safe tackling habits
As a football fan, this all appeals to me.
In lesser sports news, the fucking Leafs won.
http://blacklikeyou.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/espn-8-the-ocho.jpg
Grilled chicken thighs (fuck breasts…chicken that is).
Jasmine rice.
Steamed broccoli.
A good Merlot.
My lady.
Even the fucking dog trying to eat the chicken.
DFO.
Fuck the score…it’s all good.
Twitter is a lot more tolerance when you’re drunk.
Haha tolerance
That typo was unintentional, I assure you.
I like this…
Brady getting hit without a flag, and now Crosby takes a penalty? Sell your long term stocks my friends! Buy your end of the universe flutes! End times are here again!
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pGVMnF6KySA/Vqpu9kE2TII/AAAAAAAAkSo/snqZqat2qww/s1600/Gozer-Fires-Lightning-At-The-Ghostbusters.jpg
Dartmouth coach looks like old Michael Shannon. Young Michael Shannon also looks like old Michael Shannon.
I’d like to edit my joke:
That Dartmouth coach looks like a young Michael Shannon.
Nailed it
“I’d like to see that for myself.” — Donald J. Trump
Brock Lobster holding his own against Dreamboat???
http://badowner.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/tumblr_mz2n748wc41rhhg39o1_500.png
There shall be no Jack in the Box commercials without an appearance by the milfish wife.
It is written…
I have so many questions about the Jack in the Box universe. Is he supposed to be a guy wearing a thing on his head, or is it some weird genetic mutation? Is it Y-chromosome-linked, because his son has it but not his daughter? And yes, how did he land such a hot wife?
nobody pantses America??
Still game at the half. I gotta say I’m impressed by the…Texans(!) ?
When did we slip into an alternate universe?
I’m diggin’ it.
Election Day.
Earlier. The fucking Cubs won the World Series, you know.
We were just teetering at the edge then, Election Day pushed us into the singularity.
Brady never gets hurt. I’d love to know when he went to the crossroads and sold his soul to Scratch.
as always, Pheeeeeeel waits to see the decision, then announces his agreement with it
“Back in my day, JEEEEEM, we scored in two downs or less.”
wow, what a surprise, they NEVAR throw to the white guys like that. I totes understand leaving them wide ass open.
Hit him HARDER, Clowney!
We really are kicking Brady’s ass when we blitz. Damn our D is good.
– Romeo Crennel
/ Rushes 3 on 3rd down and long and gives up 35 for the 4th time
That’s how he became Master of Disguise Romeo Crennell.
We are having so much success hitting Dreamboat, let’s just drop 8 in coverage and give him all day on 3rd down!
Brady sacked??? No flag??? Grab your kids and find higher ground people. It’s OVAH!!!!!!!!!!
CLOWNEY!!!! Welcome back to relevance! Do that again. . .
Essentially, the Texans D are going to need a pick 6 and then just have the Offense do a QB kneel for the rest of the game, right?
Pretty much, yeah. This is just standard Patriots cockteasing. This is still going to end up like Packers-Giants.
Couldn’t the Texan’s D just turn heel and go all-out to injure every P*triot on the field?
You mean turn face?
Guys… OSZ brought homemade corn flakes, marshmallow, choc chip cookie dough over. I can not even begin to describe how gotdamn delicious the cookies were. I got the better end of the deal here, all I had to do was grill meat.
Oh, you think that was ALL that OSZ was expecting?
The Lady LemonJello whipped up a batch of caramel popcorn marshmellow treats. Sweet baby Jebus suckling at Mary’s tit, they were gott-damned delicious!
I’m totally making that shit. Holy. Fuck. Yes.
What kind of beer goes with that?
I’d say a bourbon barrel stout
I’m drinking Shotgun Betty, a Hefeweizen Ale with mine.
But the bourbon barrel stout sounds good, too.
Alright, so that’s game.
A pissed off Edelman = a euphoric JJ Fozz. Fuck you asshole.
HIS MOM EATS BACON!!!!!
You couldn’t measure my disinterest in the Texans (?) with a laser micrometer. I still want them to jack up the P*ts.
I just had this frightening thought. Someone in the world upon pondering the possibility of a Patriots-Cowboys Super Bowl is actually torn over picking who they want to win because they LIKE both teams.
Can’t exist in my universe…verily.
Oh, but I bet this person does exist.
I’ll bet they’re also a Lakers fan, a Warriors fan, a Yankees fan, a Cubs fan, a Duke fan, an Alabama fan, etc.
Yaaaaay football!
Fuck that person.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view4/4210376/mace-you-good-o.gif
Alex Rodriguez, I’m guessing?
No no. Those people think they fucking awesome because they only choose winners
I went out for dinner. I assume this is some sort of satire?
NOT ENOUGH KILL KILL KILL, NEEDS MORE KILL KILL KILL