Chiefs GM John Dorsey: “Hey Andy, I called you into my office so that we might have a small chat before the game.”
Reid: “Yes, chef.”
JD: “Uh, right. Look, the organization has no issues with your results during the regular season. To be honest, I must say ‘well done!’.”
Reid: “As far as the steaks are concerned, ‘well done’ is not the best result.”
JD: “I’m so glad we’re on the same page here. The stakes are so much higher in the playoffs.”
Reid: [thinks to self, ‘must remember to add Steaks On A Plane to Netflix queue’] “Gotta agree with you there, chef.”
JD: “With just a little TLC I think you can get this team over the playoff hump.”
Reid: [thinks to self, ‘must remember to download (Don’t Go Chasing Chocolate) Waterfalls on spotify’] You’re so right, chef.”
JD: “Huh. Anyway, it’s very important that you go out there and battle. Battle really hard. You know what I’m getting at here? Embrace the battle”
Reid: “Sure do, chef. Sure do.” [mind’s eye fills with visions of Mario Batali making Mushroom Orzotto followed by Bucatini All’ Amatriciana]
Pit/KC– Hey, look at me-I’m cheering for the Steelers for the second time in 50 years. The last time? Last week. You see, if KC pulls this out a certain A. Reid (if it’s close towards the end of the game next week-highly unlikely) will commit some heretofore never-before-seen blunder that will sink the Chiefs Super Bowl hopes vs. the Pats. This is written in stone-DO NOT QUESTION IT. I’m a bit worried about the Chiefs wr wildcard that manifests itself in the form of Tyreek Hill. That kid has “early career Desean Jackson game-breaker before he got full of himself” written all over him. Between him and te Kelce they’ve accounted for 45% of total O yardage over the last six games. The Steelers have the firepower/balls to stick with the Pats and the Pats MUST. GO. DOWN.
Done. GIMMEE THAT THING THAT YOU GOT!!!
Burn those time-outs Andy!
Andy Reid clock management detected.
Why would you draw everyone in with a fake handoff by a mobile quarterback just to do a shovel pass?
Oh Andy.
Great play by gay.
HEY! Cook did his part, too!!
It seems if Alex Smith has been issued a challenge to make sure none of his passes go further than half the distance between the line of scrimmage and the goal line.
Offensive coordinator: Xeno
How Alex Smith makes a shovel pass:
http://factorydirectcraft.com/pimages/20140617164915-448047/tiny_gray_round_point_shovel_3.jpg
Okay, I think I see why so many people hate the Steelers now
Whoever came up for a Play Action Shovel Pass should be shot at midfield.
I’m pretty sure that was Tecmo.
inside the 5??
OH god yes.
Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle.
this one I think we’ll run up the middle!
Can the Steelers go a game without trying to kill someone?
I believe you know that they cannot.
Alex Smith is really talented. What other quarterback could throw their WR into a kill shot in front of the end zone like that?
Phillip Rivers feels his ears burning
That’s just from being in Dean Spanos’ presence.
Do you want to end up like Andre Waters?
Because that’s how you end up like Andre Waters!
John Wick 2: Neo Is a Hitman
Did you guys hear that the guy who speared Jordy Nelson and broke two of his ribs won’t even get a fine?
Bud Dupree was fined only $18,000 for killing Matt Moore, so I’m not shocked.
I didn’t even know there was a John Wick 1. Is this just me?
/shakes fist at cloud
Whats the over/under on Andy Reid blowing all of his timeouts on this drive?
“You say ‘blowing,’ I say ‘squeezing in one last trip to the hot dog stand.” – Andy
Do Pop-Warner, college, and pro coaches just leave tackling drills out of practice for defensive backs? I’ve never NOT seen a defensive back try to go helmet-to-helmet on those crossing patterns.
Scout teams are full of great form tacklers
Roger Goodell just fined James Harrison another $50,000 after that play.
But how old is he?
Steelers..a dirty team? Heavens no.
I know, right?
HAIL BLEERGH..
I guess. Shit.
Personal foul. Attempted Murder. 10 yards.
Watching that play reminded me that I need to make a doctor’s appointment
Personal Foul…on Steelers?
Jeff Hosetler approves o Big Ben’s clock eating management.
Relax Aaron Rogers, I said clock.
He ded.
I don’t usually care whether the Yinzers win. Are they normally this frustrating to watch??
You asked for close games! Perhaps you should have worded your request more carefully?
With that last pass, Alex Smith has broken the NFL record for horizontal passing yards.
Just got back home. Andy Reid still has two timeouts?
He’s saving them for 11:15ET. That’s when they start closing up the concession stands.
http://a5.files.meninblazers.com/image/upload/MTMwMDE5NTYyMDE5MjY0OTkw.gif
Can anyone guess James Harrison’s age?
HGH is a helluva drug
Wait, I know this one! Detroit! No, wait… He studied architecture! No, that’s not it… He played basketball! No, uh, hold on…
HEY GAIZE DID YOU HEAR JAMES HARRISON IS 38 YEARS OLD??????!?
Oh fuck you, Collinsworth!
25 yards. Too far for Alex Smith.
I’m fine if both teams just want to bomb it to the end zone every play from here on out.
“Bomb? So, 15 yards?”
— Alex Smith
400 yards from Pitt and still a one possession game??
I’m pissed off now, Shank’hor.
Look, I go to you. I stick up for you.
You no help me now?
I say Fuck you Shank’hor. I do it myself.
http://thewellarmedwoman.com/image/data/the-well-armed-woman-articles/shooting-technique/loading%2045%20long%20colt%20revolver.jpg
So, this game is totally going to end 18-16. KC will have a chance to win with a makeable fieldgoal, only for shanklor to finally show up, yah?
He waits. He will not be denied.
SHE!!!
Travis Kelce is like the twin fetus that Gronk didn’t absorb in the womb.
Gronk got 100% of the alcoholism gene
Is it too much to hope for an 18-18 tie?
No ties in the playoffs, sadly.
I’m aware. But I’m pulling for a long, grueling overtime.
“No, it turns out you can have a tie.” — Donovan McNabb
Donovan McNabb’ll prove himself right one way or another!
Merge the two teams together and maybe New England wins in single digits
Both teams lose. Call Miami. They get to play next week.
A few years ago, Roethlisberger committed an offense in a stall. Today, he’s helping to stall the offense.
I don’t know about you, but I think we need more Boswell FGs.
So I was in the kitchen at the time, but did I overhear Collinsworth musing about how James Harrison has managed to defy father time? It’s his brother Henry, who also happens to be his trainer. That’s right, a little help from Henry George Harrison is all he needs.
That exlains the first 30 days, but what about the next 12 years?
http://data.whicdn.com/images/34645450/large.gif
FIVE MOAR DAYS!!!!
YOU GET A FIELD GOAL AND YOU GET A FIELD GOAL AND YOU GET A FIELD YOU
WOO HOO! FIELD GOAL RECORD!
How we doing Andy Reid fuckup yet? Steelers getting all the calls?
Open your eyes, sheeple!
as opposed to not being american propaganda?
and by propaganda I mean masturbation material.