![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
And they worshiped the Beast, saying, “Who is like unto the Beast? Who can make war with him?” -Revelations 13:4
End Times
Tags: Reverend Mayhem
Subscribe
Please login to comment
242 Comments
Andy Dalton looking in mid- season primetime form
EACH 4 YARD PASS MORE DEADLY THAN THE LAST
If America insists on having flamboyant celebrities who become President, I still honestly feel like John Cena may well indeed be your best bet.
If there’s still an America in four years, that is.
If Cena wins, he’s allowed to suplex his predecessor through a table in front of the Capitol.
I would spend my life savings to make this happen, and ensure there’s a statue of the event made immediately afterward too.
Ref stopped Bennett at 2 pumps, good to see them enforcing the rules.
I still like John Cena.
OH WE GOT A BARNBUR… no we don’t.
Let’s hope Andrew Luck is in town, just in case.
“Miami Ryan Dolphins”
DERP FOR THE DERP GODS
The National Football League Annual Pro Bowl…
The cold, instant mashed potatoes of organized professional sports.
“Unsportsmanlike conduct: Actually trying in the Probowl”
Hold on, hold on, do you hear that…. it’s people on the right having an aneurysm over Justin Amash. It’s beautiful.
Are the AFC guys that hard up for the extra $31K that goes to the winners?
We make a lot, but we spend a lot too.
Btw, since no one cares about the Pro Bowl and none of you have had enough politics yet this weekend, just a reminder that our friends in VA, NJ, and NC have state elections this year. If you care about making sure the party that enabled and empowered the Fuckhead in Chief doesn’t stay in power, you have to turn out to vote in state legislative elections so that the maps can change with the 2020 census. GOP control over statehouses means more shitty maps that guarantee GOP control over the Congress.
I’ll go back to watching Bob’s Burgers and eating food now.
Its about time someone unleashes the dragon
Tyreek Hill has really strangled the competition
The 49ers hired John Lynch to be their own Matt Millen.
Ryan Shazier didnt get the “Dont try so fucking hard” memo
You can always count on a Steeler to hit someone hard when it isn’t necessary.
“Exactly!”
-Ben Roethlisberger in Milledgeville, OH
James Harrison will be fined for it, don’t worry.
There’s nothing I like doing more than working on Sunday on a significant exposure case and finding out that the task I gave my assistant to do with a 1/20 deadline has yet to be started.
Words are going to be exchanged* come Monday.
*in one direction anyway.
Hot Take: The Dodgeball victory made team NFC overconfident.
The NFL Pro-bowl:
the only time a madden simulation is more exciting than the real thing
You’ve clearly never played Madden: Porno Edition
Looked into New Zealand as an option. My wife is a classroom teacher for Autistic kids. Looks like a “position in demand” all over both islands. Looks like Peter Theil bought a whole fuggin coastline there or some goddamn thing.
Your chances may not be that bad. A friend of mine moved there about a year and a half ago to work for their national weather service. I don’t recall him describing the process as all that difficult, either.
The NY Times has a recent story about Thiel’s New Zealand citizenship being looked at because no one believes he met the residency requirements.
Guy seems to have a real serious Middle Earth fetish.
Over the top villains do need some kind of secret underground lair, you know.
He would be my top candidate to try to match Ozymandias’s Antarctic lair from ‘Watchmen’.
Oh, here, let me save you all the trouble…
Goal line stands are so much easier when the offensive line tap-blocks and then wanders off to see how the buffet is holding up.
Deadspin’s lede from today’s NFL Counterprogramming post:
Any faithful list of activities preferable to watching the NFL Pro Bowl must include pastimes like slamming your head in a car door, eating hair, and broiling your dick.
Does eating hair at least come with Cool Hwhip?
It was so nice of the Atlanta Hawks to donate jerseys to the AFC team
OK, take Elliott and Prescott out now.
I firmly believe Trump lacks the ruthlessness of Stalin or Hitler. Who closest to him now does, in your estimation?. Bannon? Flynn? Who else?
Bannon, hands down. That guy is proud of being a white nationalist.
Yeah, I’d agree. Bannon seems to be genuinely evil. Flynn, however, may be more dangerous because he has that air of military authority that Trump loves and he seems to be absolutely bug-shit nuts.
Stephen Miller probably has it. He’s the name that isn’t popping up half as much as Bannon’s even though he’s almost as important.
Miller denies knowing Richard Spencer, but Spencer says they knew each other well when they were at Duke.
I was also stunned to Google Stephen Miller, see his picture, and discover he’s only *31*.
Also, Miller worked for too-racist-to-be-a-judge-in-Alabama Jeff Sessions and corndog-gobbling-crazy-eyed-beard Michelle Bachmann.
https://twitter.com/nfl/status/825788150563893248
Its only gay if balls touch.
Figures. Garrett decides to get aggressive early in the Pro Bowl, instead of, say, 4th and 2 from Green Bay’s 30 in the NFC semis.
Ginger-haired Ivy League asshole.
I like to think that Ajayi, Landry and Wake just carpooled up to Orlando.
Hi there!
http://www.aveleyman.com/Gallery/ActorsH/tve8604-19760205-363.jpg
Is this the open thread now?
Looks like.
Romo would have scored
The hero we deserve.
Oh come on, I posted the Jack Hoffman Glory Hole from The Soup last night, I don’t have to post it again.
/Let’s see if I have to approve this one!
Oh and favorite news of the day, that Trump is afraid of stairs and sloping (!) surfaces, is supposedly an indicator of dementia.
Everything he’s done for the last year is a sign of dementia.
Once again, fuck you Middle America.
Hey! You want to blame someone, blame America’s Wang
I blame white people.
Because it’s white people’s fault. Republican. Democrat. Other. Doesn’t matter. White people have fucked everything up.
A key moment in the Russian revolution was when the police (eventually) sided with the people and turned their weapons against the establishment. Anyone have much faith that happens here? Me neither.
The police unions enthusiastically backed Trump, so hell no. They’ll be eager to do his bidding when it comes to rounding up “illegal immigrants.”
American cops are the most fascist motherfuckers alive. If you think they’d ever oppose Republicans, especially Trump, you are a fucking idiot.
Hmmm. This poor girl’s ability to hit the trickier notes in our glorious national anthem does not seem to have been properly vetted.
DEPORT HER ASS TO QATAR!!!
Conway is Goebbels.
Bannon is Himmler.
Sessions is Muller.
Stephen is Heydrich.
Pence is Eichmann.
You’re giving a bunch of cheap con artists WAY too much credit.
Fuck it. I’ll watch the fucking Pro Bowl.
NOOOOOOOPE
DON’T DO IT! YOU’RE A YOUNG MAN!
I have a condo to rent if shit goes sideways. Just sayin. Near the bar district and 20 min walk from Ice Football.
Thrilled to see Dak and EZ E playing in the Pro Bowl.
It’s literally the worst thing that’s happened in this country this week.
Hi, I’m a Cowboys fan and otherwise a total shut-in with no access to the outside world!
Just reiterating what was said below:
“President Trump signed a memorandum late Saturday afternoon that reorganizes the National Security Council (NSC), including Steve Bannon, the former chair of Breitbart Media and his chief strategist and senior counselor, as well as Reince Priebus, his chief of staff, on its principals committee. The decision is unusual because such positions are not normally given to political operatives. Bannon has been among the most controversial of Trump’s advisors, because of his association with the racist and anti-Semitic “Alt-Right.”
The order also said the Director of National Intelligence and the Chairman of Joint Chiefs of Staff would no longer be automatic principals on the committee. Trump said the reorganization is meant to streamline the NSC. He said it would bring “a lot of efficiency and, I think, a lot of additional safety,” The Washington Post reported.
“People have talked about doing this for a long time. Like, many years.” The memorandum read that “security threats facing the United States in the 21st century transcend international boundaries. Accordingly, the United States Government’s decision-making structures and processes to address these challenges must remain equally adaptive and transformative.”
Who needs the intelligence and military on the security council anyway?
“Intelligence gathering is for beta male cucks” – Trump supporters and probably Boss Todd
That’s the scariest thing I’ve ever read.
i’ve lost count of the days, but my feet still hurt.
God. I have a guy in my Facebook feed repeatedly praising McCain for his toothless statements opposing Trump’s executive order.
I’m lucky I’m sober otherwise I’d be composing a hell of a rant putting this doe-eyed “moderate” in his fucking place.
There’s nothing more infuriating that these meek-voiced condemnations from the living-in-comfort suburbanite who value decorum over all else. I’d be fine with fascism eating them alive if it didn’t mean we’d all be fucked over in the process.
At this point, we need the allies. Sure, McCain was a pussy this whole election, but we need him and 2+ other Senators to stand up on nominations and other shit, and if they get PRAISED for it rather than shit on, maybe enough GOP house members will follow too.
When he *votes* in opposition to Trump, let me know. He and Graham hemmed and hawed over Tillerson and decided to back him anyway, so their word is worth less than nothing to me.
So far, he’s been in lockstep with his party, so he can fuck himself in a cage in Vietnam.
More likely to do it if he’s getting public backing for his statements.
Look, you and I agree on the spinelessness of these fuckers. But convincing them that what’s right is also popular is the only way to win here.
Sadly, even if McCain and Graham defect–and I think it’ll be a cold, cold day in hell before they do–the supposed fucking leader of the Democrats Schumer will cancel their vote and make a weapy-eyed statement about how terrible Trump is.
They’ve gotten save up that good will, you see, to prove to Trump and Bannon they’re willing to make a deal.
Love you, but no. Schumer knows how to count.
They won’t defect. They are the most pathetic blowhards who will do anything to stay in the limelight but when it matters they are loyal to a fault because they know the GOP will fucking destroy them if they ever get out of line.
Between the original Pierre the Pelican and this, what is it about New Orleans that wants to be the source of all our mascot nightmare fuel?
I think it’s living below sea-level with a giant fucking lake just waiting to flood your ass out. I think that instills a military-grade nihilism that gets expressed in subtle ways, like choosing utter nightmare fuel as representatives of your team and city
LOL
makes u think
OK, that is fucking funny.
Hey TRREM! You left “Renaissance Man” out of your profile. Surely it applies.
It’s sort of implied, I thought. Like when you call Julia Child a master chef, you don’t really need to add “and she can boil an egg too”
How in the fuck did Steve Bannon worm his way into the National Security Council?
Because he knows how to manipulate his narcissistic scam artist boss.
that is just goddamned terrifying
I also once looked at my Atlanta stadium in the mirror. I concur.
In a peculiar way, I’m beginning to think our current national calamity can be traced back, ultimately, to MTV’s “The Real World”.
[shakes fist towards western sky]
DAMN YOU BUNIM/MURRAY PRODUCTIONS!!!!
DAMN YOU, PUUUUUUCK!!
/fuck, I’m high
The only problem with this argument is that the this ban would absolutely be expanded if Bannon had his way.
Pointing out the hyprocrisy of these fuckers is nothing more than an exercise in self-satisfaction at this point.
“What’s wrong with self-satisfaction?” Kellen Winslow/Jamal Anderson/That Chargers Security Dude
Oh, I know. I just think it’s funny.
THIS!
That’s what Trump would look like if he were skinned alive.
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.