25 Questions about the NFL from a former NFL fan

As an homage to the overused sports writing trope of “[X number] Burning, Itching, Throbbing Questions for [X Team/X Sport/X League]”, I present to you a list of questions that I, an uninformed and easily distracted newly-former NFL fan, had after the Superb Owl:

 

1- Do you think Giselle goes this crazy after she pegs Tom?

2- How pissed off is Bridget Moynahan right now?  I mean, it was SO CLOSE and then

3- Does this mean that Atlanta show on FX is going to turn into a pile of dog poop now?

4- The walking backwards commercials should have tipped us off, shouldn’t have they?

5- Is “shouldn’t have they” a correct grammatical structure?

6- Is there a silver lining in the fact that the last two Patriot Super Bowl victories have been basically gifted to them by teams with bird nicknames?

7- Birds really are the worst, aren’t they?

8- Wait, didn’t the Eagles also puke up a loss to the Patriots?

9- Am I on to some crazy Bird Conspiracy Theory here?!?

10- Have I said too much and should quickly change the subject so that DTZM doesn’t get sued and the site doesn’t get hacked?

11- Did the Russians have anything to do with Atlanta’s meltdown?

12- Do you think that if Dan Quinn had a daughter he would name her Harley or would he fuck that up too?

13- Did you know that Sunday was a wonderful day if you did not turn on Fox at all?

14- Can we talk about the Grand Mac for a second?

15- Would you judge me if I told you that I had a Grand Mac for dinner on Sunday night and it was a yummy mess?

16- For that matter, how low would your opinion of me go if I told you that I had a Taco Bell Naked Chicken Chalupa for lunch and LOVED IT?

17- I’m going to leave a really fucked-up corpse, aren’t I?

18- Does anyone else think that Ariana Grande needs to eat a couple of Grand Macs and a Naked Chicken Chalupa?

19-  There’s no way she’s Latina if she’s that skinny, right?

20- Is Selena Gomez still trying to convince everyone that she is grown up and sexy?

21- Do you get the feeling that all these Disney starlets that have become pop stars are pissed off because all the boy band boys are super douchey and don’t seem like real men?

22- Does a Real Man reject the NFL now and all it stands for?

23- That was a rhetorical question, wasn’t it?

24- Did you know that the AFL is getting started soon?

25-  Are you sad that the AFL Women hit harder than the New York Jets?

ballsofsteelandfury

ballsofsteelandfury

International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.
ballsofsteelandfury

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

Look at this new comment section!

This week when Buddy went to the barber, I asked the attendant-man, “Did you watch the Super Bowl? If so, give me what Gaga had at halftime, or as I like the call it, the bouffant Marty McFly.”

Don T
Member

19- There’s no way she’s Latina if she’s that skinny, right?

Got curves. Way*
*pronounced Guey.

Don T
Member

I gots italix woooooo
/what’ this one for?

litre_cola
Member

No work for 9 days for me, doc gave me extra meds, and because it happened at work it doesn’t come out of my time unless the workers comp guys want to screw me.

/they probably will
/don’t care, 9 days off with meds!

Fronkenshteen
Member

comment image

Senor Weaselo
Member

GURTY CRÜKY.gif?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You’ve got bigger problems if the workers comp guys want to screw you.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Please don’t show the concussion girl gif to Bill Cosby.

Fronkenshteen
Member

Fronkenshteen
Member

https://youtu.be/QJFBg84MI6Y
Psych Furs. Peel Session. Good shit.

Fronkenshteen
Member

comment image

Fronkenshteen
Member

I always thought if I wrote a Spinal Tap-esque sports screenplay (I didn’t), I’d have a player named Coleman Thermous. I thought it was funny.

Fronkenshteen
Member

Ok, so maybe I had a few beers at lunch. What’re you, A COP?

[cranks Aretha Franklin]

Senor Weaselo
Member

It’s a Snowpocalypse, we’ll allow it this once.

entropy
Member

Due to Snowpocalypse 2017 in my area, I have done sweet fuck all today except sleep late, read DFO, and catch up on my DVR.

That said, after a stellar pilot episode, The Expanse Season 1 got a little rocky in the middle, and finished very strong. The second season, now three episodes in, has become fantastic, and last night’s episode has finally gotten them pretty close to the first book again. I am EXCITED.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

I haven’t started the second season, but in the first, that shootout in the fleabag motel…man, I loved it so much.

entropy
Member

The last two episodes of Season 1 were done so very, very well.

Beerguyrob
Member

Balls became Danger Guerrero so gradually…

Curse of Marino
Member
Curse of Marino

I’m just thrilled that the Marlins have escaped the hell that is being owned by Jeffrey Loria.

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/sports/baseball/report-jeffrey-loria-has-handshake-agreement-sell-marlins/3OOCnIr7RQ6ddQHrL3rjSO/

PLEASE BE TRUE PLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUEPLEASE BE TRUE

entropy
Member

#25: Yes. Yes, I am VERY sad about that fact.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris
Member

I had a Grand Mac Monday. FOR MY BIRTHDAY. I regret nothing and consider my life a smashing success.

Don’t be like your internet father, kids.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

The future is now.

entropy
Member

Oh yeah…. Happy Belated Birthday, Internet Dad! I got you a virtual tie you won’t wear and tickets to a show you won’t like! Enjoy.

Senor Weaselo
Member

How was the bypass afterwards?

Fronkenshteen
Member

How much violence must there have been in the Vegas sports books as NE slowly destroyed all the Under and ATL bettors days. That’s as bad a beat as you can have, compounded by braying Patriot fans slowly getting louder and drunker, until the whole thing crumbled to shit. All because Gostkowski, of ALL kickers, missed a PAT. What a fucking nightmare.

Enrico Pallazzo
Active Member

Ariana “Nachos Bell” Grande!

Berman will live forever!

SonOfSpam
Member

#16 isn’t surprising; I assumed all you people* like Taco Bell.

*Bloggers

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

5- Is “shouldn’t have they” a correct grammatical structure?

It is. And I will now use it in a sentence, which I likely shouted often on Sunday in the 4th qtr….

ATLANTA SHOULDN’T HAVE THEY HEADS SO FAR UP THEY ASSES!!!!!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Bird teams can’t win in the Superb Owl, the owls get jealous.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member