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25 Questions About The NFL From A Barely Interested Former “Fan”

ballsofsteelandfury

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In case you were interested, no I did not buy the Groupon from last week. Now that I know that tWBS lives within miles of Adam and Eve HQ, there is no need.  That will, I’m sure, also come in handy during our adventures in the desert. Stay tuned.

This week, we focus on a different topic: NFL-related travel. I just went to the LA Travel & Adventure Show at the LA Convention Center and there were booths from all kinds of countries and fabulous destinations. I want to give a special Balls 21 finger gunz salute to the Amazing New Zealand travel booth.  Summer, this is for you:

Seriously, Summer is drop dead gorgeous.

Ok, let’s get back on track: 25 questions about NFL travel:

1- Would the Cleveland Browns even bother to have a booth at a travel show?

2- I mean, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is nice and that restaurant that specializes in grilled cheese sandwiches is good too, but there are a ton of grilled cheese places now and why else would anyone want to visit Cleveland?

3- Do you think the whole grilled cheese thing is played out?

4- The Grilled Cheese Truck in LA serves tater tots.  Why aren’t tater tots served in fine dining establishments?

5- Way better than steak fries, don’t you think?

6- Is this about to start a Potato War?

7- Is it a True Potato War if it doesn’t involve the Irish?

8- Was that raycess?

9- Speaking of, did you know that there is a mall with a movie theater right outside the Patriots’ stadium?

10- Would you feel ashamed or proud of me that I saw Expendables 2 with a buddy there a few years ago when I went to visit him?

11-  Would that make you WANT to go to Foxboro for tourism?

12- Getting back to the fries discussion, is that something that should be pointed out in the Pittsburgh Steelers’ travel brochures?  Free fries on your sandwich, that kind of thing?

13-  You know how there is adventure tourism and environmental tourism?  What if there was lardass tourism?

14-  Wouldn’t Indianapolis be the #1 destination for that tour?

15- Wouldn’t the lardass NFL fan tour include stops in Cincinnati, Chicago, Pittsburgh, Indianapolis, and Nashville?

16- How could I forget Green Bay?

17- My brother has been to Green Bay for work and he’s visited Lambeau Field and he told me it’s the most impressive stadium he’s been in.  Do you think he’s right?

18- People tout the Jerry Dome as the best stadium, but how come the dancers on the poles are wearing so many clothes?

19- I have to say I was disappointed by the Victoria’s Secret inside Cowboys Stadium.  Would it kill them to have lingerie that doesn’t have a star on it?

20- Now that the Chargers have left, can we promote San Diego State Aztec games instead for tourism purposes?

21- Have you seen the girls that go to SDSU?

22- Do SDSU students still drive over to TJ to party on weekends?

23- Did you know there is no drinking age in Mexico?

24- Don’t you know that’s why they chose the Raiders to play in Mexico City?

25- Would there ever be a crazier nightclub crowd than Raider fans and SDSU students in a Tijuana underground club?

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JerBear50

5- Way better than steak fries, don’t you think?

/grabs balaclava

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

I was working in a pipe mill in Lorain Ohio (aka “smaller, shittier Cleveland”). It was suppose to be a 6 day job that got dragged out by shear incompetence of the customer into 2 months.

One of the weekends, I was utterly bored like usual so I drove out to where they filmed “A Christmas Story” figuring I would take in the museum and take plenty of pics for my old man who loves the flick. I checked out the website when I stopped for breakfast along the way. The following is on the fucking website and it perfectly describes my view of the people of Cleveland…

“A Christmas Story House has a FREE parking lot (6 spots) and FREE street parking on the streets in front of and directly adjacent to the property. Please see map below.

A couple of residents adjoining A Christmas Story House run PAID parking on their property. They will often try to wave you into their lots even though there is still plenty of free parking. A Christmas Story House is not affiliated with either of these operations.

When arriving at A Christmas Story House, we recommend looking for FREE street parking before paying to park.”

I said fuck it and went to the Cleveland Art museum by the way. Shockingly, its a very nice museum which is free to enter.

2
Unsurprised

I was working in a pipe mill in Lorain Ohio (aka “smaller, shittier Cleveland”). It was suppose to be a 6 day job that got dragged out by shear incompetence of the customer into 2 months.

Wow. A literal Factory of Sadness.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

17 – So apparently his experience is limited to junior high school stadiums. Hopefully you are not on the same watch list as he is.

1
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Yes, but only so I can make a “Belichick Places Hand On Bible, Bursts Into Flame” reference

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Unsurprised

1- Would the Cleveland Browns even bother to have a booth at a travel show?

They would, but they would fuck it up somehow.

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

“Why is that booth on fire, Daddy?”

4
Unsurprised

“I’m still not sure how he caused the meltdown. There wasn’t even any nuclear material in the truck!”

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

As long as there are kids, tomato soup, or comfort food consumers, grilled cheese samishez will never be played out.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

Now that I know that tWBS lives within miles of Adam and Eve HQ, there is no need. That will, I’m sure, also come in handy during our adventures in the desert. Stay tuned.

Shhhh….be cool, man.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

One stop shopping when they start serving grilled cheese.

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litre_cola

Grill cheez is the name of one of the women in my stable in Tijuana. She has gold teeth and well…

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King Hippo

I would pay FOAR a Donks trip, if I could do hipster things with Von Miller, then feed Elway an apple at the end.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tater tots are one of the few foods that it’s virtually impossible to make better from scratch. I mean, I wouldn’t even know where to start.

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sunrisesunrise

I went to a restaurant somewhere south of the Hillcrest area in SD years ago and they had mashed potato tots. My friend ordered some that had bits of Velveeta and Spam and were called Trailer Trash Tots or something to that effect. They had all sorts of combinations from what I recall.

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King Hippo

sweet potato tots are really goddamned good, but I wouldn’t know how to make them. A local small Southern food chain (Lucky 32) puts ’em on the menu from time to time.

Christ, I love that place. Perfect jambalaya, too.

1
Unsurprised

My favorite side at Sonic was when they had sweet potater tots.

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laserguru

Even as the resident cook I’ve never made them from scratch. I’ve seen a recipe or 2 that uses some strange alchemy but I never tried.

HMMM?

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litre_cola

Give it a go!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fun fact; Potato Tots Is what the Brits called Irish children they were starving out between 1845 and 1852.

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sunrisesunrise

As I work at SDSU, I enjoy the scenery daily.

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litre_cola

Tater tots have had a renaissance here. They are available at a lot of bars. They definitely kick the hell out of other friend potatoes.

1
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Pardon me, sir, but there’s a Mister Hash Browns to see you.

Side note: are they hash browns or hashed browns?

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litre_cola

Hash brownies are a completely different matter

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Enrico Pallazzo

How bad can Cleveland be? JR Smith chooses to live there. It’s also way better than Cincinnati AKA Kentucky’s Hat.

3
ArmedandHammered

Years ago (’88) I almost took a job at the Adam & Eve call center as they paid a lot more than most places, about $5/hour more, but when told about the kind of calls I would be taking I decided against it. I didn’t think I would be able to take the call in a courteous and professional manner while I was giggling. And trying to suppress said giggling would probably cause some sort of internal injury.

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Ma’am, could please repeat the Adam & Eve product that was lost in your anus? We seem to have a poor connection.”

1
laserguru

Actually most SDSU students take the trolley to TJ.

Austin and New Orleans should be right at the top of the fatass tour.

Tater tots are amazing.
(My phone tried to auto correct that to Tater tits and I almost left it.)

3
ballsofsteelandfury

Your phone was right.

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I remember hearing about an incident near the border (years ago, when I lived down there) where things got so out of hand that they had to bust out a pepper fogger. Like, a fog machine but with pepper spray.

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laserguru

I saw a few shows at a club called Iguanas in TJ just across the border. Faith No More one time, Tom Tom Club another time and we took the trolley. The last US stop was right at the border in San Ysidro. Back then the last north bound trolley left at midnight.
There were so many just fucking hammered college students on the last train it was like the train of the dead.

I haven’t been to TJ since about 1993.

1
laserguru

Here’s a cool little article about Iguana’s.
http://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/sdut-short-lived-iguanas-nightclub-left-a-mark-2011may18-htmlstory.html

3
blackroseMD1

Man, I would have loved to have seen that Nirvana show. Sonic Youth with Mudhoney would have been great too.

Unfortunately, in 1989 I was 10 and still about 5 years away from hitchhiking out to San Diego.

1
laserguru

I was right there in my concert going wheel-house. In fact I used to get free tickets to shows all of the time. Great era for music.

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

KEEP AN EYE ON TATER TITS!!

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