2017 Madness – Sunday Nofunday

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

Hey, at least we got rid of Notre Dame!  Documenting the atrocities…

#7MW Michigan v. #2MW Louisville (12:10, CBS)

Welp, the Wolverines did not go out with a whimper like I thought they might.  In fact, they looked good enough to represent an even fight with the Cardinals, the lone non-evil ACC side remaining.

#10S Wichita State v. #2S Kentucky (2:40, CBS)

The one time the committee gave Scary Wheat seeding respect, they also fucked them over by making UK the #8 seed in their region.  Lo and behold, the Wildcats took them out en route to the national finals.  This time, it’s the underseeded Shockers looking to repay the favour.

#9MW Michigan State v. #1MW Kansas (5:15, CBS)

After a slow start, Sparty absolutely blitzkrieged poor Miami.  Again, totes unexpected by your idiot scribe.  But I do not expect a repeat performance today.

#8S Arkansas v. #1S U*NC (6:10, TNT)

This game is being played in something called “Bon Secours Wellness Arena” which tickles me to no end.

#11MW Rhode Island v. #3MW Oregon (7:10, TBS)

This matchup kind of gets lost in the shuffle.  Maybe the most athletically interesting matchup of the day, though.  Run, run, run.

#11E USC v. #3 Baylor (7:45, truTV)

SIGH.  Yes, back to this fucking channel one last time.  Stay away from our precious Song Girls, you rapey BayBay fucks.

#7E South Carolina v. #2E Duke  (8:40, TNT)

This game is being played in something called “Bon Secours Wellness Arena” which tickles me to no end.  (Can you tell I won’t be watching any TNT coverage??)

#6S Cincinnati v. #3S UCLA (9:40, TBS)

Cincy looked much better than expected on Friday.  They gon’ get they teeth kicked in, and Hippo gon’ fall asleep.

King Hippo
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Senor WeaseloSpanky DatassLow Commander of the Super Soldierslitre_colablaxabbath Recent comment authors
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Senor Weaselo

My East region is totally borked, hooray!

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

My DFO bracket is sooo busted. Fuck you Craptino!!!!!111!!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Me? Oh, I have tuned in at the perfect time for the schadenfreude.

http://nerdist.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/shirley-gif-05282015.gif

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck
WCS

HAPPY DOOK SCHADENFREUDE DAY

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Dumbasses got beat by the lesser of the Carolinas.

Senor Weaselo

…East Carolina?

blaxabbath

What’s the deal with poker stars app? I can’t Join a Poker Club

litre_cola

werent you in before? if not balls has to approve you

blaxabbath

I was never in.

litre_cola

Ahhh you have to apply and then Balls says yes. He currently isnt playing

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

It looks like the zodiac killer will finally pay for his crimes.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If we’ve learned anything from this NCAA tournament, it’s that the NFL could fix the league by using slave labor and making more upsets happen with officiating that doesn’t only help Tom Brady.

Croooow
Croooow

You did your job, South Carolina!

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

LOL Dook

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

The ACC is really getting its ass handed to it in this tournament.

Gratliff

Welp, that is a fun tournament. It amazes me how I manage to be more bad at this every year.

litre_cola

Like the Browns!

blaxabbath

Knightrider is on.

They’re at the circus for no real reason.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who needs a reason?

Senor Weaselo

Wait, I had Duke over Nova in the Elite 8? Eh, chaos is still more fun.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Don’t shit the bed now, Cocks! Send Smug Asshole U home.

blaxabbath

So, via our antenna, we get this weird channel called COZI TV. Right now it’s showing A-Team.

herodotus450
herodotus450

It’s no ME TV

blaxabbath

I think we also pick up ME. It’s the M*A*S*H network.

herodotus450
herodotus450

One of them shows the old Batman series sometimes. Holy Caesar Romero, Batman!

Croooow
Croooow

I get something similar called AntennaTV here. They show Johnny Carson-era Tonight Show episodes. It’s awesome.

LemonJello
LemonJello

More punchable face: Grayson Allen or Luke Kennard?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Trick question. I have TWO fists.

LemonJello
LemonJello

But, say you can use the Iron Fist punch ONLY ONCE – who do you punch a hole clear through?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Well, Grayson Allen because he’s telepathically linked with Ted Cruz and to punch one is to punch both.

blaxabbath

Wait – they made Taken into a TV show?

Senor Weaselo

Yes. It could be the greatest show ever and I’d still hate it on principle.

Just a guess that it’s not the greatest show ever.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

I’ve replaced most of the lightbulbs in my apartment with LEDs including the lights in the closets.

It’s occurred to me that considering how long LEDs last and how little those bulbs will be used, it’s entirely possible they’re still there 50 years after I move out.

blaxabbath

The Democrats are gonna tax you outta that place in 9 years if we don’t donate to FreedomChristPAC today.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

My apartment manager decided to do that last week without telling me. Then left me a bag of old light bulbs to deal with.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

You had someone change the lightbulbs in your unit? I’ve never had that.

I actually have to badger the fuck out of my building manager–who LIVES in the building–to replace common area lights.

Gratliff

Duke looking to make this an extremely short March Madness for Grat

theeWeeBabySeamus

We’ve got four at the poker table….just saying.

litre_cola

Where?

blaxabbath

Oh yeah I need to download that thing. What is it again? Poker Starz?

litre_cola

Yes.

blaxabbath

My app isn’t working. I can’t search for the DFO table from the “…more” in the bottom right corner.