2017 Madness – Sunday Nofunday

Hey, at least we got rid of Notre Dame!  Documenting the atrocities…

#7MW Michigan v. #2MW Louisville (12:10, CBS)

Welp, the Wolverines did not go out with a whimper like I thought they might.  In fact, they looked good enough to represent an even fight with the Cardinals, the lone non-evil ACC side remaining.

#10S Wichita State v. #2S Kentucky (2:40, CBS)

The one time the committee gave Scary Wheat seeding respect, they also fucked them over by making UK the #8 seed in their region.  Lo and behold, the Wildcats took them out en route to the national finals.  This time, it’s the underseeded Shockers looking to repay the favour.

#9MW Michigan State v. #1MW Kansas (5:15, CBS)

After a slow start, Sparty absolutely blitzkrieged poor Miami.  Again, totes unexpected by your idiot scribe.  But I do not expect a repeat performance today.

#8S Arkansas v. #1S U*NC (6:10, TNT)

This game is being played in something called “Bon Secours Wellness Arena” which tickles me to no end.

#11MW Rhode Island v. #3MW Oregon (7:10, TBS)

This matchup kind of gets lost in the shuffle.  Maybe the most athletically interesting matchup of the day, though.  Run, run, run.

#11E USC v. #3 Baylor (7:45, truTV)

SIGH.  Yes, back to this fucking channel one last time.  Stay away from our precious Song Girls, you rapey BayBay fucks.

#7E South Carolina v. #2E Duke  (8:40, TNT)

This game is being played in something called “Bon Secours Wellness Arena” which tickles me to no end.  (Can you tell I won’t be watching any TNT coverage??)

#6S Cincinnati v. #3S UCLA (9:40, TBS)

Cincy looked much better than expected on Friday.  They gon’ get they teeth kicked in, and Hippo gon’ fall asleep.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Brocky

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JustStopDude

This CBS 60 Minutes story sounds interesting…the one about the workers getting outsourced. Here is the thing though…American consumers refuse to pay living wages. We simply will not do it.

It annoys the shit out of me because NOW its an issue. Its only an issue now because white collar workers are being affected. When it was blue collar workers losing their jobs and healthcare, people either didn’t give a shit or they blamed the workers for not changing skill sets or going to college while working 40 plus hours a week in a factory.

The whole “Buy American” populism Trump espouses in his rhetoric sounds great until it hits peoples’ wallets. Then everyone freaks. Its the whole reason I think the wall is fucking hilarious because even IF Mexico paid for the whole fucking thing, Americans would be tearing it down within two weeks because the cost of everything goes through the roof. Same is true for Trump’s claims he is going to put a fucking tax on imported goods in violation of trade treaties.

As soon as he does that, the American public will be screaming their heads off to have them removed.

In the grand scheme of things, the American consumer has all the power…but we are short sighted assholes who don’t want to actually use that responsibility.

Unsurprised

Hopefully the next iteration won’t be run by so many shitheads.

blaxabbath

That’s only because you think of a world as different nations, not one race. If you were as enlightened as me, you’d be blaming the American workers for not learning Chinese and moving to Beijing where the jobs are.

/Sips aperitif

JustStopDude

My dumbass would learn Cantonese and then wonder why the locals just look at me confused…

blaxabbath

Also, in defense of the American consumer, price increases typically lead wage increases. You make the point that it’s an issue NOW but that’s because the opportunity to pay American workers enough to buy domestic has long passed.

This is why blaxy is always lookin’ out for #1!

Unsurprised

Well, it’s a good thing. You know what. Fuck it. We’re doomed. I just need to be less doomed before I die alone.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Puppies; THE LINK TO TERRORISM!

Brocky

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

That scene was surprisingly explicit. I’m surprised they didn’t have a full-release version on the DVD.

Redshirt

Current state of my bracket (Thanks for nothing, Louisville!)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posthumous_execution

JustStopDude

North Korea is behaving very badly. They have been "playing" the United States for years. China has done little to help!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 17, 2017

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

JustStopDude

Without looking it up…real or fake twit from our President?

Unsurprised

My guess is real.

blaxabbath

Playing is in quotes, you see. That is very important.

Redshirt

Thousands of years from now, apes will be taught that this is the start of the downfall of the weaker, hairless apes.

Unsurprised

1972 was.

JustStopDude

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

If that dude needs viagra to bang that chick then he doesn’t deserve that sweet sweet MILFy action.

Unsurprised

Anyone who needs Viagra can just get fucked in the ass.

JustStopDude

What makes me laugh are the conservatives that are against birth control and insurance covering that…but take no issue with men getting boner pills.

Hence why I just assume every conservative I met is just keeping it on the down low.

blaxabbath

That’s a republican thing, not a conservative thing.

I mean, if you harken back to a time when there were conservative democrats and progressive republicans.

JustStopDude

I’ve run into plenty of conservative democrats that also think a women’s medical decisions should be made by everyone but the woman and her doctor.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Perhaps the pope? Those are the ones most prevalent in my experience.

Unsurprised

It blows my mind that there are conservative Catholics except for all the conservative popes and politicians that have been supported by the Church just since WW2 (especially by that pigfucker JP2, who in the name of anticommunism gave Reagan a pass for arming and training and supporting insurgents and terrorist who gleefully raped and murdered Catholic clergy, nuns, and of course the laity).

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not Unitarians and those type of blasphemers. Plus there is a whole shitload of VERY conservative, rightwing catholics.

JustStopDude

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Senor Weaselo

I saw a book called “Notes from Ms. Frizzle’s Students” and I’m pretty sure that book is called the prosecution’s Exhibit A.

JustStopDude

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...

This is probably the longest sustained string of esoteric insults I’ve ever seen.

https://twitter.com/spookperson/status/842135767363203072

It’s so prolific that Roger Stone Jr. actually acknowledged it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OOF.
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blaxabbath

Airbrushed out the stretch marks.

Unsurprised

Reminds me of the Shoe Roast.

herodotus450

Maybe it’s the dementia settling in, but I cannot stand watching tournament games this year. Seems like there are substantially more, and longer, and louder, and lamer, commercial breaks. Why is it so goddamn important that media timeouts can only happen after a foul or whatever? Why not allow them after a normal basket?

blaxabbath

I like when we start getting deeper into the tournament because that’s when guys start getting CRUSHED.

http://image.dailynews.com/storyimage/LA/20141213/SPORTS/141219762/AR/0/AR-141219762.jpg&maxh=400&maxw=667

litre_cola

It would be nice for Big Blue and Pitino to go down together on the same day.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

On each other through force….

*just kinda grossed self out.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

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Fronkenshteen

Fuck is an “ice cream slush”?

Brocky

idk, but i googled it, saw this, now i want one:

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That looks better than the one I made.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I made one the other day; it’s easy.

*Left ice cream on the counter while chasing GIFs.

JustStopDude

I love this opiod constipation commercial showing a dude working at a construction site so strung up on pain pills, he can’t shit.

But apparently he can work construction high as fuck.

blaxabbath

Interesting take. I assumed he was some rich bastard who was having his custom home built so he went ahead and geared up and makes daily trips to the site to micromanage his contractor. Given that Trump won the election, I figured this would be exactly the kind of ‘managing’ that the public would approve of.

litre_cola

Louisville non-evil? The tabletops in that city that Pitino uses would beg to differ.

Fronkenshteen

When it’s basketball, I don’t hate Jim Nantz.

JustStopDude

For the first time ever in my life…I wish I was in Ohio…

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JustStopDude

Damn…huge cock…

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Brocky

suddenly, dinosaurs being related to birds doesn’t seem so far fetched

JustStopDude

Whenever I watch sports, I am amazed to see shows still on the air that apparently are popular. Like the Amazing Race, the Bachelor, etc.

All I can figure is that these shows are so fucking cheap to make compared to actual TV shows that they will keep pumping this shit out until the end of time.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They really are. Instead of paying actors you just have regular people that work for free (sure, there’s nominal prize money, but I don’t think it’s significant compared to actors and extras). You’re not spending any money building sets (on Survivor they build their own!) and spend less money on writers, too.

JustStopDude

They also pull shady shit to get around union filming rules.

I have a buddy of mine that was a camera operator in Hollywood. He was working for a production company and times were lean as fuck. So eventually he ended up taking a job doing reality TV shit, which blacklisted him from doing real shows.

So his work is more stable, but the hours are brutal, the pay is shit, and he will never again be apart of anything of substance. The dude is pretty fucking bitter about it.

His stories about the Duck Dynasty people are interesting though. Apparently the whole shtick they do is utter bullshit and they don’t make nearly the amount of money off their image that they should. They still have to do hours of filming, the same scenes over and over again…but the camera folks have to do all the lighting, make up, everything, while another person just directs them to say whatever.

Unsurprised

That sucks that he was blackballed.

Horatio Cornblower

Wait, Duck Dynasty is staged and those people are just playing characters to take advantage of the dimwits that watch that show?

Well, MY faith in America has been destroyed.

Senor Weaselo

Woo picked Michigan!
/leaves again

Brocky

so somehow i had the foresight to predict both the michigan and wisconsin upsets.

part of it is seeing them play IU this year, which is also part of the reason I think purdue is seeded too high this year.

now we’ll see how lucky my witchita over kentucky pick is. fuck

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I got the Wisconsin one because I listen to sports radio in my car and they piss me off by covering the games like 4 nights a week, one station is the Wisconsin game and the other Marquette.

Brocky

its so fucking weird how i can hate green bay fans so much, yet I have no qualms with any other sports team, be it college or pro, in that state.

like I find myself saying, Wisconsinites, they ain’t so bad, then I remember these are the same shit heads who wanted favre over rodgers

...

Wisconsinites are indeed generally likable folks.

Wakezilla

Somehow, despite a bajillion scoring chances at the end, City drew Liverpool. I would think that this result would all but cement Chelsea as champs. Chelsea also has 69 points. Nice.

Wakezilla

This is true.

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“Chelsea wrapped things up around mid-Feb, realistically.”

– Hillary and Bill’s dream in 2018

litre_cola

So many errors in front of goal in that game. 2nd half was entertaining, 1st half was kind of snoozy.

69 eh? nice

JustStopDude

Remember when Spike Lee made thought provoking, good movies?

Yeah…neither do I anymore…

Brocky

I thought Her was a pretty good movie,

Where the wild things are was pretty dumb, but so was the source material. children’s classic my ass

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You are wrong in two ways here. First, those movies were made by Spike Jonze. Second, “Her” was not a pretty good movie.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought that was a possibility, but I will *never* skip an opportunity to dump on “Her”.

/this comment brought to you by Osi Umenyiora

Brocky

najeh davenport approves

Wakezilla

It’s weird to see how his political beliefs has done a 180 since the late 80s/early 90s.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, but I don’t blame him for the fact that I don’t remember his good movies – I blame my unrepentant alcoholism.

JustStopDude

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Sharkbait

I’d like to think this is a joke, but I’m not sure if it is.

Wakezilla

Liverpool/City has been a good game. There was a pretty good bodycheck and Liverpool didn’t even get a shot off on a 2 man breakaway. City is pressing hard and id be shocked if they don’t score here

JustStopDude

So tomorrow, I got customers driving up from rural Kentucky. Two guys from the site already got training from me and it went so well, they are sending more people. But the problem is, I need to do the home inspection on the house I am trying to purchase first thing on Monday.

So I have coworker covering for the first hour or so for me.

Here is the problem. The old dude is a great field engineer. We have been through the shit together. I would do anything for the guy and I think he would return the favor. He is really helping me out here…but he has no fucking governor on his mouth.

You know how there are things you tell a customer and there are things you don’t tell them unless they specifically ask for it? My coworker has no fucking idea the difference between the two and will talk and talk and talk until he opens up a massive can of worms.

I am terrified I am going to show up after the inspection, and I got a room full of pissed off people.

Wakezilla

Shit. Do you feel close enough to him to talk to him about his yap? That sounds….horrible

Wakezilla

Like tell him less is more and that the clients only to need to know how you guys can help them and that’s it?

JustStopDude

We’ve had this conversation before. He is a great guy…just a talker. Since he is a Kentucky grad, and the customers are from Kentucky, I hope to god they yammer about the tournament for an hour.

blaxabbath

Probably too late now to reschedule so your customers can have ‘the real deal’. Any chance you can bump the inspection time?

Or you develop an outline for the guy — and the client — and you tell him to stick strictly to the script.

JustStopDude

Nope. Only time I can get the inspection done before I run into contract issues.

I should be able to defuse any situations…its just funny…I should be concerned about the home inspection, but I know the entire time, I will be starring at my phone, worrying more about the training.

blaxabbath

Then I second promoting all basketball talk.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY MORITZ WAGNER I CALL HIM UBERMENSCH CAUSE HE TOWERS OVER OTHER MEN.

Wakezilla

Wife was sick yesterday. So i told her id take the couch so she can have the whole bed. I also did the heavy work with my 7 month old daughter (it’s not hard. She loves watching hockey).

Daughter slept 12 hours, wife is better, i got to sleep in till 10:30 and Daughter, who is a sports nut, is letting me flip between soccer, basketball and Pens game. Wife showing her appreciation by making a delicious breakfast.

I’m husbanding really well today.

Horatio Cornblower

/Slaps Wakezilla on the ass, HARD.
//steals slices of bacon while no one’s looking

litre_cola

I dream of achieving that status.

rockingdog

I must take notes…

Brocky

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blaxabbath

We hating on Petino?

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Wakezilla

Aguero! 1-1

Brocky

So is that smurfs 4 or 5?

herodotus450
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Blue face? Really?

Racists.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I’m not offended.”

– Garrett Reid

laserguru

“I am.”

– ghost of David Carradine

Brocky

I’ll never not find lexi belle adorable

herodotus450

Her reviews are NOT FAVORABLE in this one
http://www.xcritic.com/review/38372/nicole-aniston-this-aint-the-smurfs-xxx/
Must’ve been the prosthetics.

Brocky

of all the mediums out there, I bet porn is the most subjective.

i’ve heard of porn stars “phoning it in” but damn if I would know the difference.

heehee, “phoning it in”

Wakezilla

I used to be the biggest Michigan fan because of the Fab 5 and Tim Biakbatuka

blaxabbath

You sound like people talking to the DNC post-election.

...

Spending time on Twitter is making me more open to the idea of nuclear annihilation as long as I’m able to Slim Pickins the bomb as it drops.

Unsurprised

Not soon enough

Wakezilla

Twitter is a train wreck. I once got caught in the cross-fire of “woke” twitter and it was actually kind of amusing. Outside of their generic lines, they don’t know how to communicate and most are just trying to be a #brand.

JustStopDude

I have a twitter account, though I do not use it at all. What I have done is synch it with my phone so that when I get someone’s work email, usually customers, I can see their twitter feed instantly.

Fucking amazing to me the bat shit crazy shit people will say on an account linked into their work emails. I have so much shit on people, its fucking unreal.

Its like hacking but never bothering to figure out anyone’s email.

blaxabbath

I know, right? I mean, blaxabbath isn’t my real name. Can you imagine my world if people found out I was actually Sill Bimmo — uhhh, Bimmopolis. Sillvadore Bimmopolis, I mean, is my name.

JustStopDude

When I was working for the army, I had to do a presentation on personal security to a bunch of slack jawed government workers that refused to do anything right. Even my manager was giving me shit for how long the class was taking.

So I commenced to give the class a 15 minute break and I asked my manager permission to try and “hack” his information. By the time the class got back, which naturally was about 40 minutes, I had access to direct manager’s checking and savings account, his G-mail and hotmail accounts, and had changed his passwords for his twitter and facebook account.

All I had to do was compromise his hotmail account and all that took was looking at his facebook account and getting the three questions right on my first attempt.

I doubt anyone really listened to me in the long run and my manager threatened to suspend me.

blaxabbath

That’s SMRT! I’ve been wanting to make it in to my buddy’s yahoo account for a long time (we like to fuck with each other, obvis) but he knows I’m trying because he keeps getting locked out.

Any advice for this aspiring 4ax0r?

JustStopDude

Most people never bother with the 2 factor authentication…which is insane. If he isn’t doing that, than the easiest thing is to do the “I forgot my password” and it asks preset questions. People will usually answer these things truthfully, which is really stupid. What they should do is have gibberish answers like “Mother’s Maiden Name” and the answer is “Mybiglefttoe”. Something you remember, but is illogical.

Like Palin’s account got “hacked” because the person that did it just did a quick google search on her and figured out which high school she went to, what her mother’s maiden name was, and the year she graduated from high school.

Once you get one account, it usually cascades quickly. People often use a single user name and password for all their accounts…so once you get one, you get them all.

Here are the 25 most common passwords used by Americans…
123456
123456789
qwerty
12345678
111111
1234567890
1234567
password
123123
987654321
qwertyuiop
mynoob
123321
666666
18atcskd2w
7777777
1q2w3e4r
654321
555555
3rjs1la7qe
google
1q2w3e4r5t
123qwe
zxcvbnm
1q2w3e

Mascots, university mascots and nicknames are often very common. Kid’s names and birthdays too.

Unsurprised

All the more reason to get a password manager. I use 1password.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah, I use “1password” as my password for a lot of stuff, too.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So I turned the game on in the middle of a commercial and all I heard was “…consent is prohibited” and I thought it was an ad for Baylor University.

JustStopDude

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Say what you will about Rick Pitino, but you can’t deny he’s been a pioneer in the basketball world, namely by introducing the “gun ‘n run” system to the NCAA and also local area restaurant bathrooms.

JustStopDude

I just read there is new pressure on the VA Governor. Recently, in a complete shock, the dude forced through an order to restore the rights of felons. Lots of people screw up and they lose their rights. I don’t think anyone is shocked, this fucks over minority communities at a crazy rate.

Now everyone is pushing hard to remove this restoration act. Why?

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Fucknuts here is running for office in VA. He used to do it all the time until he did 18 months for threatening to kill Obama. His platform consists of auctioning off all public lands, roads, Amtrack, etc because he believes it would be more efficient. Also he wants to remove the ability of family members to get protection orders against other family members and to make incestuous marriage legal.

Kind of surprised he isn’t in the Trump White House…

So because of this fucker, there is heavy push to disenfranchise a couple hundred thousand non-violent offenders who did their time, did their probation, and never committed another crime.

Dear god I cannot stand Libertarians.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t understand – who’s pushing for the removal of the restoration act? People who don’t want this guy to be able to run for office?

JustStopDude

Conservatives are pretty much trying to paint this guy as a poster child of everything wrong with restoring civil rights. In reality, just because he tricked enough people to sign his petition to get on the ballet, doesn’t mean he has a change in hell at all.

...

It doesn’t take much poking to find out most self-proclaimed libertarians are just conservatives who want to seem more individualistic. When push comes to shove, they’re all as eager to suckle the government teat as anyone else.

Redshirt

Every time an Online Poll identifies me as a Libertarian, I consider suing the website for Libel.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Dude looks like a high school freshman wearing his dad’s suit and receding hairline

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

“the Cardinals, the lone non-evil ACC side remaining.”

Mr. Hippo, there’s a “Rick Pitino” on line 3 for you.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“He hung up already? But he was only on hold for, like, fifteen seconds!”

JustStopDude

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Spanky Datass

Bravo. I was thinking about something along the lines of “If you’re making a list of the evils in the ACC, Rick Pitino is going to be near the top.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There’s no time to dither around with Rick Pitino jokes. You’ve gotta be quick on the trigger.

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